This Week’s Late Night Winners and Losers
by Tim SlagleIt’s going to be a very sparse one this week, since Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, and Jon Stewart were all on vacation. (Last week, everybody but Stewart and Colbert were on vacation so I didn’t watch. They re-ran those episodes this week, but except for the Michael Jackson stuff, there wasn’t really enough overlap material to judge them fairly).
Lamest Attempt at Obama Joke: David Letterman claimed that Obama was in Russia, hiking the Appalachian trail.
Letterman also used John McCain as a foil on three different nights to compare the disparity between winners and losers of the last Presidential election: While Obama traveled to Russia to meet with Putin, McCain was chasing kids off his lawn. While Obama was in Italy, McCain was heating up a can of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee; While Obama was in Italy meeting with the G-8, McCain was on his front porch in Arizona, waving at cars.
Conan O’Brien also seems to like the ageist jokes, claiming that John McCain is using twitter, only he’s twittering on his garage door opener. With all the McCain material, and the dearth of Obama jokes, you’d almost think John McCain won the election. According to Craig Ferguson, when Palin resigned, John McCain said, “Who?”
Most Overused Person as a Punchline: Sarah Palin for her resignation. Letterman claimed she blamed the media, and was spotted in a helicopter shooting Wolf Blitzer. Conan said America was just ranked the 114th happiest nation,in the world but when Palin resigned it moved up to 17th. He also suggested she might be doing a TV show for viewers that find Paula Abdul too coherent. Letterman claimed the Governorship now passes down to Miss Congeniality, Ferguson claimed it goes to Chillee Willee.
Writers over Shoulders Award: This week it goes to to all three Late Nights. O’Brien, Letterman, and Ferguson each did a play on Tina Fey’s old joke about Sarah Palin seeing Russia from her house. (I believe we’re coming up on the one year anniversary of that one.) Conan claimed that while Obama was in Russia, he could see Palin cleaning out her office. Craig Ferguson did a version of the joke, claiming he wouldn’t use the room she stayed in during his USO tour because he didn’t want a room where he could see Russia. Letterman claimed that while Barack was in Russia, Sarah Palin waved at him. He was actually so enamored with that joke he used it four times on three different nights. On Tuesday he actually used it twice in the same monologue.
But Letterman’s favorite joke he used most every night was, “Mosquitoes mate and breed in standing water, kinda like my in-laws.” A couple of times he also told a joke about his mom thinking the Fourth of July fireworks were an attack from North Korea.
Oldest Presidential Joke of the Week: Even though Letterman and Ferguson both made Clinton jokes, this week’s award goes to Conan O’Brien for telling a Classic Bob Hope Presidential Library joke: “Saddam Hussein’s gun will be displayed in George Bush’s Library, right next to the book.”
Funniest Obama Line of the Week: Goes to Conan O’Brien who claimed that when Barack was in Moscow he gave a speech to an economics class entitled, “Can we borrow 4 trillion Rubles?” Runner up also goes to Conan who claimed that Obama was in Italy because the Italians were great allies of ours, excepting anytime we’ve gone to war. Conan also did the only mention of the famous photo saying that the only ass Obama was looking at, was Joe Biden. (It seems there’s still much hesitation to use Obama as the actual victim in the jokes.)
Angriest White Man: Again David Letterman who’s still griping about having to apologize to Sarah Palin. On two separate nights he wondered aloud whether it was his joke that might have caused her to resign.
The Most Interesting Interview: Bob Newhart on Conan. He’s been at it for almost 50 years now, and is still able to do panel. He had some great stories about the old “Tonight Show” that really made me long for Golden Age of Late Night, back before it got so personal.
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55 Comments
So didja hear that the boat Gary Hart was using when he got caugt was "Monkey Business"?
Oh man that Letterman, he sure is timely.
I have always herd Know your audience. If that is all it takes to get laughs from a certain segmant of the population, i have really got to change careers.
Actually, the McCain saying "Who?" is kinda funny…and probably not that far from the truth…
Sounds like Conan's the one willing to wander farthest from the liberal reservation. Now if he could just get more than 10 feet from the reservation's boundary…
Funny you mention Bob Newhart's appearance–the episode of Newhart was on last night where he plays the Don Rickles character's second banana (under duress) and the guest on the show is none other than Ed McMahon. Bob Newhart today is funnier than all of the late-night hosts put together (and you could throw in some stand-up "comics" too–not you, of course!).
So didja hear that the boat Gary Hart was using when he got caugt was "Monkey Business"?
Oh man that Letterman, he sure is timely.
I have always heard Know your audience. If that is all it takes to get laughs from a certain segmant of the population, i have really got to change careers.
THanks for the recap Tim. More reasons I don't wate my time with the late night hate fests. I hope they're all cancelled and replaced with "Twilight Zone" reruns. F– 'em all.
I have a joke about Obama that I'd like some feedback on through this post.
DISCLAIMER: The joke is of a racial nature, but for me it's more about the mindset of the liberal mind. Also, it's more of a joke for a comedy club, rather than light night show comedy. If the moderator thinks to remove this post, I understand.
JOKE: President Obama is touted as the first African-American president, but we all know he's really bi-racial. That means half of him is black victimhood, and the other half is white liberal guilt.
There it is. Be kind.
That's actually one of the funnies Obama jokes I've read!!
Amen to that. Newhart has more comedy genius in his pinkie than all of late night.
That is actually pretty funny – tragically factual – but funny!
While Obama was in Russia, he managed to get Sasha's age wrong, and completely botched up the story of how he and Michelle met. Kid's age wrong? Doesn't remember where he met his wife? That's not comedy material?
Thanks for the update.. this is the only way I get any info about these guys….. I have to admit it, I could care less about any of the late night talk show hosts…….
The best one liner I have heard about Obama, is he is Jimmy Carter with a TAN!
Truthfully, I haven't watched late night since Carson was on in the 70's and we hadn't yet wired for cable. I always get these jokes 2nd or 3rd hand, so.. I wonder how many folks actually hear them. But the current as you note, is if you landed from another planet, you'd think the republicans were in charge from the way late night hosts still go after them.
Are they that lamely partisan? even Leno?
They savaged people I voted for and in many cases still respect, and I could tolerate that if it were even handed, if they also ripped hide off liberals.
they not only don't,
but get deeply offended you even suggest it. Apparently us Philistines in flyover land are just too uppity for our betters tastes. I've never heard a conservative say, you can't tell jokes about us, just, damn how about some fair minded equal time.
Make a scorching joke about Obama and his collection of keystone klowns, then, then and only then,.. will I accept it's about humor, otherwise, it's what it looks like, indoctrination by ridicule, trying to bully people into silence with a mob.
Huh… Glad I didn't miss much on late night… again.
LOOOL, McCain is OLD!!!
…..
I think we have a different definition of "funny" than they do.
Thx for the recap, Tim. I simply cannot stomach watching any of the late-night programs.
But, I still like to have a finger on the pulse. Your synopsis is a perfect solution for me. I read them every time you post.
Eagerly awaiting the New Hollywood…
I think if you were trying to apply that statement to all half black half white people it would be racist. And I suppose it could be read that way. But if it's read as specifically applying to Obama, then it's just funny.
Not as old as their jokes though.
Why are these idiots still on the air? Letterman is a washed-up douchebag and Conan couldn't be funny if he mugged and jumped up and down begging the audience to laugh at him Oh wait. He does that.
Thanks for the updates, Tim!
…still got my Red Eye on on TIVO..
I guess he would check other???
You only make fun of that of which you are afraid.
To paraphrase P.J. O'Rourke, a conservative will say you shouldn't do or say a specific thing, a liberal will say you can't.
Is it ever going ot be ok to make jokes about Obama? I generally like to watch Conan, but the "Sarah Palin is stupid" jokes and the "John McCain is old" jokes are pathetic. But when the president is apparently off-limits, I guess you have to go back to stuff like this.
Summation: None of them were funny… yet again.
Everyone is terrified of being labeled an intolerant racist if they make Obama jokes. However, everyone has them, laughs at them, and wishes more people would, too. It should concern everyone that this man lords such fear over people, whether it's just his position, or his race, or both. Scary times.
Read my joke about Obama in my earlier post.
Even if Letterman made Obama jokes, I doubt I'd find them funny. Letterman hasn't been good since about 1988 or 90. The writing is really lame and half-assed, and he just doesn't have the timing and offbeat character he used to have. He seems like a very grumpy and tired old man now. I really didn't think he'd turn out that way.
I've got to get me some TIVO—-how do we get Fox to run Red Eye earlier?
The truism that cheap comedy is simply hostility in disguise is alive and well in those jokes. True comedy – off kilter transcendent comedy is rare and largely absent from nightly media as who is going to hit that peak every night? Who is going to make it through the mass filters to be like that on tv?
I would be happy if he could just keep the leaders' titles straight. He gave Putin a promotion. Granted, Putin was the President, but you would think someone on his staff would know that.
I read you joke. It was funny!! But, if anyone said that on the national stage, they'd be skewered.
Have a joke about the Carter administration:
Teddy Roosevelt visits Carter in a dream and asks for an update of the world situation.
Carter tells him that the Soviets invaded Afghanistan
Teddy asks 'Well, how many divisions are you mustering to respond?'
Carter says 'None, we boycotted the Olympics'.
Then Teddy asks 'What's this I hear about the fuel crises?'
'The arabs are strangling our fuel supply' says Carter.
'How many battleships are you sending to correct the situation?' Teddy asks.
'None, we are asking for patience on the part of the American people.'
Uncomfortably, Teddy asks. 'What about our hostages in Iran? How many battalions of Marines are you sending?'
'None, we are hoping to negotiate with them thru dialogue', says Carter.
Stunned, Teddy looks at Carter and then suddenly lets out a hearty laugh.
'Ah, its a joke,' Teddy says, 'next thing you'll tell me is that you gave away the Panama Canal!'
Bev: And I would additionally have been happy if Obama could have pronounced Medvedev's name the same way twice in a row. He went through about four different versions. Very funny, and totally ignored by the talk shows.
I know…we got TIVO w/ our Direct TV (thank goodness, b/c we would have never gotten it-though I'm hooked on commercial-less TV now!)
On facebook there is a page to plead moving RED EYE to midnight (smile)! Thought it was funny but don't think Fox will be able to…its a very guilty pleasure!!! Those guys are a scream!
pffft.
It seems to me that when Obimbo had difficulty remembering how he met the actual man of the house, Michie, it was a golden opportunity for the overpaid comedy writing teams to come up with at least one tepid attempt at humor from which these unfathomably overpaid jugheads called late night comedians could then read from the teleprompters.
Okay, here's one off the top of my head:
Barry and Michie sitting in a Capri.. k-i-s-s-i-n-g.
First comes bluffing, then comes marriage, and there goes Barry with his gaily carriage.
Sorry, my son's dating a democrat and I'm just a bit irritable.
Enjoyed the article, though!
Imagine the fun Dave could have had if the situation had the election gone differently:
"John McCain met with Vladimir Putin yesterday. Meanwhile Obama was hanging out in Union Square with Bill Ayers, and Howard Zinn commemorating Mother Bloor's birthday."
"John McCain gave his first State of the Union message last night. Meanwhile Obama was taking his new girlfriend Oprah to a Pete Seeger concert."
"John McCain says that once he leaves office he wants to work on his memoirs. Meanwhile Obama is publishing his latest ghost-written book, GREATLY OVERRATED: THE STORY OF LIBERTY."
ZING!
Hmmmmmm, sorry it didn't even brush anywhere near my funnybone. It's more or less just a political point that only a conservative might find amusing (I am conservative BTW), but would it would leave liberals cold. A joke should either have a clever play on words or an unexpectedly amusing image to make most people laugh. The one with John McCain twittering on his garage door opener is a good example of the amusing image, even though I'm a conservative (far more than John McCain), I find that image is amusing.
Joke: Q: What is Michelle Obama's favorite thing to eat? A: oreos….. Good lord did I just put that on a family site?
The reason none of the comics joke about Hussein Obama is because the
THE JOKE IS ON THE AMERICANS !
Hussein Obama is THE JOKE
You can still watch "the bob newhart show" or "newhart" and it's still funny and family friendly (for the most part). Shows that Bob Newhart is STILL a true comedy genius.
Playing to the audience in the room is the key; these clowns are on air because ownership and the audience thinks arrogance, ignorance and viciousness is funny. We need to stand up to such abuse and complain to their advertizers.
The series finale to his 80s show Newhart is the best ever. Part of what made it so great is that no one saw it coming, that in the end the whole show was just a weird dream of his character from the Bob Newhart show true genius.
America has been Punked !
Agreed, his performance in Russia kind of makes one wonder if there is a reason why his medical records have been sealed along with everything else about him.
So didja hear that the boat Gary Hart was using when he got caught was "Monkey Business"?
Oh man that Letterman, he sure is timely.
I have always heard Know your audience. If that is all it takes to get laughs from a certain segment of the population, i have really got to change careers.
"Chillee Willee"??
I had to Google this one before I figured out you meant "Chilly Willy."
I also agree about Bob Newhart. A couple weeks ago I caught the end of a re-run of a really early Episode of "Newhart." That was a great show.
Here's another one you may not have heard:
George W. sometimes says goofy stuff!
Yeah, Conan's "Obama can see Palin cleaning out her office from Russia" joke was a big let down. For some reason, I thought he was better than that. Now, he is poking fun of Palin with something that she did not even say!
I would like to see a poll to find out how many Americans know that it was Tina Fey that said "I can see Russia from my house" and not Palin.
RIMSHOT!
I spelled it with a Scottish accent
Amen to that! I'll have to check out the Hulu clip of the interview later tonight. Speaking of Hulu, they have most of the first season of Newhart available – It's just as funny as I remember it being.
Bob Newhart actually did a stand-up show in my area about 3 years ago. I had to give away my tickets when a family obligation came up, but the guy I gave them to said he still puts on a great show.
Letterman = Lame.
Signed,
A forlorn former Letterman fan (from some years ago).
Perhaps they all fear the appointment of a humor czar?
Hey, CalVRWC, I found it funny. Very smart. But, sorry, not during this presidency.
Anyone giving odds on how long it will take a liberal comic to tell a really, edgy, and genuinely funny Obama joke? One in which Obama is the person held up to ridicule?
You know. The kind of stuff that was bread-and-butter material during the Bush years.
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