Tokyo Rose LaHood: You Want The Change
by Tim SlagleHello Republicans, This is your old friend Tokyo Rose LaHood. I want to take this moment to say hi to all my fellow Republicans whom I love so dearly.
Don’t you feel silly in your little foxholes, fighting for a cause you cannot win? Europeans are laughing at us. We were the nation that put a man on the moon, and yet we think health care has to be paid for. You are making us the laughing stock of the world.

Secretary of Transportation Ray Lahood
President Obama is Change, he is the Change people want. They don’t want you and your stupid free markets. That is so last year. Wouldn’t you rather be back home in Middletown Maryland, working alongside your favorite girl on infrastructure projects? (Yes, I’m talking to you Roscoe G. Bartlett, I know you’re out there.)
People in Maryland are thrilled to be working in March. They are thrilled to be out there working for the People, working for Obama and the Glorious Change. Fighting isn’t good for you, and it isn’t good for America. You’ve already lost, time to surrender.
Look at Rush Limbaugh. He’s a buffoon. He laughs at you while he lights big fat cigars with hundred dollar bills on his private jet. Look at little Bobby Jindal. He lost his political career for your stupid war. Someone who was once a star with a shining future in politics, is now a David Letterman joke, alongside Sarah Palin. Do you want to join them?
What do you think your girl is doing back home while you’re filibustering in Washington? She’s probably in the back room of the local Panera Bread, doing some Code Pink vegan boy on top of flour sacks. She doesn’t want you anymore, she wants the Change.
Trust Obama. He cares about you. Let him run the banks and the auto companies, and bring America into a Magnificent Future where we don’t need cars or energy or thermostats that go all the way up to seventy two. It’s not Socialism, it’s just social. You like being social, don’t you Honorable Representative? All your voters are in favor of it. Obama isn’t making recession, Obama is making love., You are the ones causing the recession with your silly battles that you cannot win.
Come on give it up. You know you have bipartisan fantasies late at night. Come on over to our side. It’s not so hard.
Now listen to some love music from the Beautiful Beyonce Knowles…
For more of Tim Slagle’s humor, check out www.timslagle.com






Subscribe via RSS
Got a Tip?
31 Comments
Tokyo Rose is right! If there is one thing a political party cannot stand it is to have members who betray the party and give aid and comfort to the other side. I'm not talking about loyal moderates. What I'm talking about are members who spout the other side's propoganda or support their candidates.
I saw a poll on Hannity's show on Fox last night where 51% of Democrats polled in 2000 or 2004 said they wanted Bush to fail. No shock there. What was troubling though, was seeing 7% of "Republicans" say the same thing. Those people need to be purged from the party.
Tokyo Rose is right! If there is one thing a political party cannot stand it is to have members who betray the party and give aid and comfort to the other side. I'm not talking about loyal moderates. What I'm talking about are members who spout the other side's propoganda or support their candidates.
I saw a poll on Hannity's show on Fox last night where 51% of Democrats polled in 2000 or 2004 said they wanted Bush to fail. No shock there. What was troubling though, was seeing 7% of "Republicans" say the same thing. Those people need to be purged from the party. How can a party succeed if some of its own members are working against it?
yet another loser from Illinois… pretty soon we Chicago types are going to have to say we're from, say, Sedalia, Mo…
sure don't want all you very heady and cool denizens of this site to roil in rage at my point of origin. LaHood is a typical Republicrat (we have one in prison already, and one waiting- oh, you know) with the typical ideology we get in this state -like the carny barker sez: 'You pays your money, you takes your chances"… sadly, if it wasn't for 'the One' you all would have never heard of this doofus. Or Rahmbo. Or Billy Ayers. Or, well, you get the picture.
From the bottom of my midwestern heart- SORRY!
It was '06 man. Still I agree that its not exactly shocking that Democrats hate Bush that much.
Who would have thunk it. Its all right to root for Bush to fail but its not all right to root for Obama to fail. How peculiar.
Should I just quit paying my mortgage now? Apparently we are rewarding people for that…………
statistical analysis being what it is, 7% is virtually nothing- depending on the sample size of course. There were some Repubs who just hated W, but for different reasons. It's the 3% of the black vote that McCain got that is actually nothing…
As I said on another thread, Dissent is no longer patriotic. Didn't you see the bumper stickers?
Go for it. Write a book about it, and you might put Barbara Ehrenreich out of a job.
My issue isn't dissent. I have no problems with dissent. Politics is a contest of ideas after all, and that leads to dissent. My problem is with disloyalty, party members who actively oppose their own party by voting for the other guys or sprouting their propoganda. One of the things that really ticked me off about John Warner (R?) in Virginia was that he would refuse to support Republicans he disagreed with, and would actively endorse the democrats. To me, that totally violates the compact that forms political parties — the idea that you can fight within the party, but whoever wins that fight, you support in the general election. Otherwise, what's the point in having a party?
in the background i can hear, "you're getting sleepy, very sleepy…" the libs will know the deed is done when the rest of us start clucking like chickens when they snap their fingers.
I would highly recommend you avoid reading HuffPo today, Andrew. Unfortunately, I followed a link without looking and got sucked into a couple of columns that were exactly what you are talking about. Ugh.
I went over there (couldn't resist). Are you talking about the hate-filled filth that frank schaffer vomitted out? If so, he's exactly the kind of guy I'm talking about. This guy couldn't get more vile about the Republican party if he tried.
What am I supposed to do? Help! I was born in Chicago, grew up in L.A. and have lived in San Francisco for many years. Occasionally I say "y'all," but I'm not fooling anyone.
I'm not worried. Code Pink vegan boys only do other Code Pink vegan boys.
I'm not worried. Code Pink vegan boys only do other Code Pink vegan boys.
Well, I agree with you about representatives – they are supposedly representing their party (hence the name). But I have no problem with bringing the Republicans to task when they do something stupid, like the ones who are voting for this spending bill. That's the type of accountability I expect everyone to demand from their party, and it's what I find so infuriating about liberals. They never hold the Democratic Party responsible for anything. Remember Clinton? Libs still think he was the victim of a 'vast Right-Wing conspiracy', that what he did wasn't a bad thing, etc, etc. Now they have their True Chosen One who can do no wrong, not even when he spends trillions of dollars on pork during a recession.
You have to stand up for what's right, not the party.
Okay, you've got LaHood – who does hold an uncanny resemblence to a bulldog. We've got Spector. What are we supposed to do with him? The Inquirer said he should flip parties and he should. I don't know of one person who approved of his Stimulus vote, and if he wants back in the Senate so be it. Just don't go under the cloak and masking of a GOP'ster. It's not a good fit.
Yup, that's the one. I warned ya!
This is the third (or fourth?) reference to the libs' Dear Leader hypnotizing the hapless citizenry I've come across on this site- and it's giving my profession (I'm a retired clinical hypnotherapist) a bad name!
Do any of you lawyers out there think I'd be able to sue The One for defaming my colleagues by his smarmy and slyly calculated (mis)use of mass hypnosis?
I am also a PA "resident" with Arlen as our best and brightest, us waiting for the lobotomy from nurse Ratchett Rendell. Arlens advantage has always been a startling ability to get the Democrats to nominate their village idiots against him. Sayyyy….you don't think its possible the dems got us to nominate their guy all this time, Nah we're to smart for that.
Let me repeat, I am not in any way opposed to intra-party dissent or calling out other Republicans who do wrong. I think all parties must have an active internal debate about their values and principles. But, when the debate is over, you need to support the party candidates. That's the deal on which political parties are formed — you get a voice in shaping the party provided you support the party even when you don't get everything you want.
Guys like the Huffpo guy or the 7% in the poll violate this agreement. They want the party to bend to their will entirely or they threaten to run off and support the other side. And when they don't get their way, they stab the party in the back by supporting the another party's candidates or by issuing vile, unfair, extremist criticisms of "their own" party. They are opportunists, that's all, and they deserve no respect, attention, or place in the party.
I don't mind dissent, and I like people who try to find compromise (assuming both sides are actually compromising). The problem with LaHood is that you see a stark example of the Republican party in Illinois being just as corrupt as the Democratic party. That's not the kind of compromise I was looking for.
It's time yet again to demand that Republicans in Congress start acting like Republicans. I for one am pissed that the Republicans grew the size of government when they had a chance to decrease its size. For that I will never forgive Bush and the Republican majority in Congress. That is, however, the only thing I'm upset about as far as the Bush administration is concerned.
Now both sides are trying to pass more pork when will this nightmare end. Bipartisanship means you are leaving your political ideology at the door to appease the opposition. It certainly didn't work very well on the "stimulus bill." It's time for term limits in congress so they can go and do the peoples will not the lobbyist of self interests groups will.
The problem with Washington politicians of any stripe, they are Washington politicians. True freedom loving Americans are almost nonexistent in DC. When their political careers are over, “ah…hmm… they move to K-Street or Wall Street, and continue the rape of America, and the MSM cheers them on. The days of, “Mr. Smith goes to Washington” are long gone. It’s what’s in it for me, arrogant decadence is the rule of all government. But, then again corrupt politicians are kind’a like calling the sky blue. LaHood has calculated it’s time to make some cash, a former Secretary of Transportation looks good on the resume’ don’t you know?
I hestitate to write this, for fear of bringing up the whole Rush kerfluffle again, but it was obvious to me the very first day he said it, he said the now famous statement for one important reason. He was purposely trying to make people get angry, make people decide what side they're really on, and to make people want to flush out those RiNos who have caused us all the problems with identity we have now. It's all about choosing sides, if you're really a true Republican, then stand up proudly. If not, and you're going to be squishy and take tons 'o pork, then it's time to go. IOW, wake up, America!
It's guys like LaHood and the wishy washy moderates that need to be purged from the GOP. What a sellout LaHood is! I hope that when the GOP reclaims power, guys like LaHood are dealt with SEVERELY. The GOP needs to be the party of Reagan again. Whatever happened to MEN that NEVER sold out their principles for political expediency, MEN like Jesse Helms, MEN like Ronald Reagan?
My mom was a Sox fan, my dad was a Cubs fan. My mom was Catholic, my dad was Lutheran. Most of the verbal fights in the house were not about religion. Religion wasn't terrifically significant–but baseball, there was something to fight over. Do you want to guess how many times I had to hear them reminisce about the crosstown series? To keep peace around the house, I became a football fan and never talked about baseball. At least nobody at my house was going to throw a verbal punch over the Bears.
DFTT
I thought the only reason any man would become vegan was to score with a girl?
OMGosh!!!! I'm ROFLMAO over the Tokyo Rose LaHood appellation. Born & raised in Peoria, IL so I know this dude has always been a quisling buffoon. He's perfect for the Obama Administration and will feel right at home with all of the other opportunistic appointees.
Sorta normal. Except for those occasions when I walk down the street, talking loudly to myself in multiple voices. The conversation usually goes like this: "You're a heretic!" "You're the anti-Christ!" "That was a strike!" "Go back to Wrigley!" "What the hell's with all the sleet on Soldier Field?" The only saving grace is that I live in San Francisco, so nobody much notices. Some even give me small change.
well, you know the old saying- you're never alone with a schizophrenic… SF values can do this to normal sorts- after all when is normal not normal? when you're cruising down Castro street…
You must be logged in to post a comment.