Broadway Street With Two Left Sides: ‘Avenue Q’
by Tim SlagleMy friend Jane Shaffmaster gave me a call. Jane’s loved musicals since she was young enough to play the lead in “Annie” and spends a greater percentage of her annual income on Broadway than most heavy-duty Christians tithe every year. She was perusing the latest news on Playbill and was quite dismayed that political satire wasn’t affected by The Change. Like most on our side, Jane is fairly good humored about Republicans being the butt of jokes, but she expects those jokes to be distributed evenly across partisan lines. A play called “Avenue Q” was rewriting its script to reflect the new administration but like most satirists*, they refuse to mock the new President.
“Avenue Q” is a puppet show for adults. A song called “For Now” has the puppets reassure each other that most things in life are temporary, like hair and sex. Until recently, one of those temporary things was “George Bush.” Knowing that Obama was to be shortly inaugurated, the producers and writers were perplexed for a replacement. I know it should be obvious to everyone else, but Broadway producers don’t think like you and I. So they threw a contest to decide a better verse.
Since there were prizes involved, Jane entered and offered the suggestion (in perfect meter): “Bar-ack.” And in a world where fairness was more than rhetoric, she would have been the winner.
The prizes involved were somewhat substantial, especially to a Broadway geek like Jane. According to the original release:
The winner will be announced Jan. 15, 2009…
The winning entry … will receive a prize package including an autographed program and poster from Avenue Q, a cast recording, a copy of the Avenue Q coffee table book and an autographed copy of the revised script with the contest winner’s lyric included.
“I’d like to know who won,” Jane told me. “For the money I’ve spent there, you would think I’d win SOMETHING!” But according to the official press release, Jane’s suggestion never even happened:
The broad range of topics suggested by contest entrants include politics (”bailouts”), personalities, the economy (”your bank,” “your debt”), sports, fuel prices (”cheap gas”), the Internet (”Facebook”, “MySpace”), television (”reality TV”), health (”Botox”), global warming (”ice caps”), automakers, Iraq (”the war”), Paris Hilton and life itself (”your youth).”
The four winners are:
“Recession”
“Prop 8″
“This show”
“Your mother-in-law”
Before I go on, let me dissect the thinking of a Leftist. If you don’t substitute one President for the next, you’re suggesting the humor of the joke only works when it’s a bad thing. Yet your “hair” and “sex” are good things. And are they trying to tell us Barack is not only “for now?” That he is with us forever? (In the novel “1984,” the original Big Brother existed longer than most humans are capable of living.)
I also take issue with the idea that “Prop Eight” is “for now.” It’s no longer a proposition; it’s an amendment to the California State Constitution. I know some people believe Constitutions are only “for now,” but the truth is, they are supposed to be stone-tablet solid. On my Black Helicopter Creep Scale, the idea of a temporary Constitution is only superseded by an eternal President.
So I dug in, and tried to find out who won, and what had happened to Jane’s suggestion. I contacted John Gilmour at Allied Live, the PR firm responsible for handling the contest.
Gleefully, he informed me that there are now FIVE replacements. One more was added in the month since the contest ended. Apparently, some of the productions reverted to using: “George Bush (was only for now).” Funny. Much like the late night talk shows, the old ways are dying hard.
When I asked him why Barack Obama was not chosen as a replacement lyric, he made a sound reminiscent of Mister Mistoffolees with a giant hairball: after a very long pause, he responded, “It wasn’t submitted.”
Well, that’s simply not true.
He continued, “Well, the creative team just didn’t think it was appropriate.”
“Well, isn’t Obama only for now?”
“Yes, of course… let me direct you to someone else.”
He directed me to Sam Rudy at Media Relations where I talked to someone named Bob.
Bob also tried to claim that nobody submitted Barack. When I assured him I knew people who did, he rushed me off the phone.
“So who won the contest,” I asked.
“The four lyrics in the press release.”
“Yeah, but who WON?”
“All four.”
“I know that when “Avenue Q” held a Walk-on contest they had no problem announcing the name of the winner. Are there any plans to announce the winners’ names?”
“Not at this time.”
I guess the new era of “transparency” does not extend to Congress OR “Avenue Q.”
Blogger extraordinaire and local expert Stage Right speculated that there probably never was a contest, that the whole thing was a stunt staged to gain publicity.
Nothing new. Fake elections are often held to give the illusion of democracy in single party dictatorships like North Korea, Cuba, and Chicago. Jack McLamb once said, “When tyranny comes to your door, it will be wearing a uniform.”
Perhaps it will have a puppet on the end of its arm, as well.
*Check out TimSlagle.com for some fantastic Obama jokes
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34 Comments
Lol.
Artists hitherto puffed-up and proud of their irreverence.
Now reverent.
I don't understand why anyone is surprised that Broadway is so intensely leftist. They are the "lefty artist types" living in one of the most leftist cities in America.
Avenue Q is classic leftism. Its only purpose is to destroy something wholesome, something "traditional" (even though Sesame Street is almost as leftist as Ave Q).
Black Helicopter Cree Scale…I love it! LOL
Ooop! I meant "CREEP Scale"! Sorry.
"The Obama record comes to this: In 1996 state senate candidate Barack Obama was openly in favor of same-sex marriage. In 2006 he voted against a federal marriage amendment in the U.S. Senate. In 2008 presidential candidate Obama declared that he was not a proponent of same-sex marriage, but was careful not to say he opposed it either. He continued to oppose a federal amendment, came out against Proposition 8 in California, and called for the repeal of DOMA, a position he continues to hold as president. No one who understands the legal issues involved with DOMA and the campaigns for state and federal marriage amendments, and who understands the same-sex marriage agenda’s utter dependence so far on activist judges rather than the electoral and legislative processes, can fail to regard the Obama administration as pro-same-sex marriage…"
http://tinyurl.com/aaqowz
"For Now"… that is, as it were.
Avenue Q? Feh! Only shocking to those who haven't seen "Meet the Feebles."
How is Sesame Street leftist?
Well, Elmo IS red, after all
Jeez, Tim, what happened!?! I used to own "A Wake", saw you in Eau Claire Wisconsin at the Fireside in 1989. You had dreads, clothes the homeless would refuse, (in fact mock you over), a bad attitude, jokes about drugs, Satan, and sex with three french-canadian stewardesses. You were damn funny. Claimed to be a libertarian, were definitely political and quite intelligent. So what happens is I hear Dirk Benedict has let ego, cocaine, and chest-hair styler cook his brain, come over to check it out, like a train wreck one can't bear NOT to look, and I see you. WTF! You look and sound like Pat Robertson Jr. Damn, man… Let people live their life. I know the old you would agree, "If a bunch of Dirty Fucking Hippies want to pay to see puppet sex, even gay puppet sex, no skin off my nose. Avenue Q, Team America, whatevs"
One advantage to living in Kansas aka fly over country. Don't need a Broadway line item in my budget.
paleotectonics…first of all cool screen name…BUT…if you read Slagle's piece he does nothing to betray his past as a pro-free speech agitator. He's making the point that liberals are so far up their own puppets that they can't even criticize A PRESIDENT. Did you ever think you'd see the day where liberals can't criticize a powerful politician? Your point is right that no one should care what dirty hippies do on their own dime, but your punch line of "Pat Robertson Jr." and lack of understanding of Slagle's point is another welcome display of what modern liberal thinking has become.
I'm disappointed that they couldn't just insert Obama into the lyrics and be done with it. Like you said, they list good things in the song that are also fleeting, and they are obviously not afraid to stir up controversy with songs like "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist", so why not just do it? I think the show's relevance will survive meddling like that, but still a silly move.
But I want to comment on paleotechtonics' statement about the play being something for "a bunch of Dirty F******* Hippies want to pay to see puppet sex." Of all the modern musicals out there today (my definition of modern is anything after Webber's heyday in the 80's), it's one of my faves, and this is a twentyish semi-conservative Mormon girl from Utah talking. Just saw Wicked on Broadway last week and trust me, it is the stronger show in almost every way and definitely deserved Tony over Wicked. Yes, there are some really crude parts and songs to it (and which I edit out the best I can), but above that rises this sweetness and optimism of decent twenty-somethings trying to figure out life and their place in it; the Sesame Street part of the show that rises above the grit of a show trying to be relevant and edgy. Every girl in their teens to twenties need "There's a Fine, Fine Line" in their playlist; nothing bad in the song, and I know plenty of girls who for their sanity need to be like Kate and leave the boy, even if they love him, until he figures things out for himself. And the Racist song is so true, for both Dems and Republicans.
It would have been braver to just insert Obama into the show; sad they took the chicken's way out.
I think they should have that creepy Obama Youth chorus appear on stage singing the praises of the Annointed One. You know, just to show critics and New York audiences that the creators of the show are Enlightened members of The Hive, too. Because you can't push that in people's faces often enough.
Hey, you know what else won't last forever? Avenue Q's ticket sales. Eat shit and die stupid queer hippies!
[...] Tim Slagle, Big Hollywood 06:38 PM | 0 Comments [...]
Ha! Best post yet! Giant leftist puppet conspiracy!! righties complaining they didn't simply replace BUSH with OBAMA. Theres a difference there people. The musical was written while Bush was in office and had screwed things up – hence the joke. Obama hasn't had a chance to screw anything up yet. It's a comedy – its supposed to be funny. I'm ashamed that the people you spoke with didn't have the balls to tell you that. There is no Leftist conspiracy here.
I thought it was going to take a little longer for the rightwing crazy to start emerging but this is great. It's going to be awesome watching you guys go slowly insane over the next 8 years.
[...] Big Hollywood wrote an interesting post today on Broadway Street With Two Left Sides: â
Cjenk
Try reading the whole article before you shoot your mouth off. But your a liberal so that's what you do. Notice someone did put that in and they lied about anyone even suggesting putting in your god's name. I really love you liberals. After 8 years of the most vile attacks on Bush and blaming him for the weather and screaming at his creation of a facist police state you now bow down before Obama and scream at anyone who dare question him. Yeah I can take you fools seriously. Yeah you gave Bush a chance, even before he was in you had the knives out for him. Oh the only thing Obama has done is just nominated a bunch of tax cheats..yeah nothing screwed up there. I can't wait till the fool really gets going and you libtards will sallow your tongue in outrage. BTW that's 4 years. Jan 20, 2013 the end of an Error.
Screaming? Please pandax – try and look at reality here. I find the whole thing HILARIOUS.
And I love how Righties are now assuming that everyone who is Pro-Obama thinks hes a god. Big news for you – we don't. we're happy there is change but the majority of us think he is human, prone to error and will not change the world. Unlike the righties who refused – flat out refused – to listen to any cristicism about Bush. Any Rightie I tried to talk with about Bush's failings – and lets be honest, there were a few – labelled me as a Bush-hater and rendered my opions invalid. THE SAME THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU. You hate Obama – I'm not listening.
The Right are coming off as a bunch of angry children screaming "It's not fair!! It's not fair!" "The didn it, why can't we?" There is nothing adult about it and I find it hilarious. No screaming from me – criticise The big O all you want. It makes for great entertainement.
And yeah – its terrible that they weren't honest about the Obama suggesting – but its also possible that they knew the person on the other end of the line wanted a fight (lets be serious, thats what it was about) and they didn't want to have to deal with any BS. The Obama suggestion wouldnt have worked as comedy – full stop. It was suggested to prove a point. Which is lame.
Go crazy over the next eight years…we'll all be going crazy if things keep up like they were in the last week or two. Anyway, a Rasmussen poll showed that if the elections were held today Republicans would pick up 40 seats in congress and that the public is now almost evenly split between wanting the Democrats and Republicans to run congress. All big shifts from the election. The public apparently didn't want you guys as much as they wanted to send a message. I hope you enjoyed your glory days of Democrat rule, they were a great three weeks while they lasted.
Tim, do you think you might be exaggerating just a *wee* bit much at the end? Comparing a contest held by what is, in essence, a privately held corporation to change two words in one song to tyranny and fake elections in North Korea?
1) The show is by Robert Lopez, Jeff Marx, & Jeff Whitty. It's *their show*–theirs and the producers & investors. They can do with it what they want. That's, uh, capitalism.
2) There's also a real difference between when the show premiered on Broadway–2004–and 2009. In '04, lots of people in NY were sick of George Bush; not only that, but speaking as a New Yorker myself who lived there at the time, we were sick of Bush & the Republicans exploiting Manhattan post-9/11 (it is one of the curious, unremarked facts among conservatives that, in the 2004 election, with Bush running against John Kerry, a candidate who was about as exciting one of the giant tree creatures from Lord of the Rings, the two locations directly attacked on Sept. 11th–Manhattan and Washington D.C.–gave Kerry 90% of the vote apiece.) Obama, meanwhile, has been in office less than four weeks. Lopez, Marx & Whitty presumably would like to cut him some slack.
3) *Art* has no obligation to conform to other people's notions of "balance." You don't see liberals running around demanding that "Dirty Harry" be remade to show Eastwood's character interrogating and beating up *innocent* people, even though that's just as likely a possibility in the real world. Because that would just be stupid.
Here's a better idea–why don't you write your own conservative musical? Then, after you've gone through the agonizingly long process of writing it, holding producers' readings, producing it, having it catch on, taking it all the way to Broadway, you can make fun of Obama all you want & we won't complain a bit, or demand that you change the lyrics to conform to some perceived notions of "balance."
About as curious as BO campaigning on the horrible tragedy of the Greensburg tornado wiping out the town and killing 10,000 of the citizens … oh, there aren't that many in most of the counties of Western Kansas, and only 10 people died. At any rate, few people in the state ultimately voted for him. How dare he presume to use Greensburg in his campaign speech like that.
Silly, silly, of you. They're politicians and they'll score points how they want despite what we little people think of them.
cjenk_
See I find different things funny. Like liberals like you acting like insane frothing loons attacking everything Bush said or did and and scream Bushhilter! Now can say with straight face that it was conservatives who were being unreasonable. Oh I don't were I would get the idea that Obama supporters are a cult. With people doing pledges of loyalty to Obama. Not listening? The liberals screamed and it got them what they wanted. So thanks for the lesson, we know now to undermine the President at every turn for every reason and if you dare to criticize me then your stifling my free speech and you are fascist. It's to nice to see your keeping in the normal liberal mode well it was O.K. to make fun of Bush but it just won't work with Obama because their is nothing ripe for satire then an unqualified fool coming from a corruput poltical machine who is made a rock star by the press and nearly worhiped and no one stops to ask why don't we know why he is so great?
3) *Art* has no obligation to conform to other people's notions of "balance." You don't see liberals running around demanding that "Dirty Harry"
Gee you mean like when Hollywood changed Tom Clancy's Sum of All Fears and made the Islamic terrorists into skinheads? No one was messing with his artistic vision.
Dear Liz L. Ummm, thought it was obvious, I am what one of y'all refer to as dirty fucking hippies, loved Ave.Q, Wicked, and "horrors" Rent. The defense of Q, well, ummm, yer preaching to the choir, and not making any friends on this site…
Thanks about the name! TTFN! (I just lurk on wingnut sites once in a while when I need to get my blood pressure up)
Greg, and everyone else making much the same point –
I don't think anyone would be the least bit troubled had the "contest" never happened and had the playwrights just decided to leave the lyric as is. Like you said, it's their intellectual property, they can do with it as they please. But they opened the door. They decided that the original lyric was no longer appropriate (I disagree; I think it would still be funny, and I voted for Bush twice and McCain in '08) and they SOLICITED suggestions, and proceeded to ignore the obvious replacement. And trust me – The One may only have been President a few weeks, but you can be sure that at least half the country wishes he'd go away already.
I'm not? Poor me, as my self worth is wholly defined by what people on this blog think of me. (wink) I'd like to think that people can have differing opinions and still be friends, thus making life interesting, but alas you tell me this is not so. How about you? What is your purpose in coming here, if apparently it's not to make friends or gain illumination from the brilliant writers or try to have intelligent discussions on the topics posted? Is it to just rile people up? What a fabulous use of time! Hope that works out for you.
"Obama hasn't had a chance to screw anything up yet. It's a comedy – its supposed to be funny."
But the "George Bush" line isn't funny. All it is there to do is get cheap applause, ala The Daily Show, and it does.
And to hell with the prizes for the rewrite, I want percentage points!
"Ha! Best post yet! Giant leftist puppet conspiracy!! righties complaining they didn't simply replace BUSH with OBAMA. Theres a difference there people. The musical was written while Bush was in office and had screwed things up – hence the joke."
Topical joke lines are the first to go stale, as well as topical shows. How often do you see "How Now Dow Jones?" revived. The whole song itself is substandard writing quality for a closing number, with a simple recycle of "Sucks to be Me" to boot.
"And I love how Righties are now assuming that everyone who is Pro-Obama thinks hes a god."
And Lefties assumed that Bush was Pol Pot, Hitler, and Mussolini all rolled up into one.
What a jerk.
You claim that no one in your camp is substitiuting Obama as a god image and almost every shot you see of him up to the election had him in a halo and looking messianic. But I am sure you never noticed, the obvious is normally over looked by the left.
When I saw Avenue Q several years ago, the line "George Bush is only for now" got wild, sustained applause and cheers. I then saw it again two months ago – I have a friend in the current cast – and again the Bush line got a huge response, even bigger than the first time I saw it. According to Tim Slagle's logic, not only are the authors of Avenue Q crazy leftists, but so is everyone in the audience. Everyone. The whole theatre erupts into wild applause as the song trashes Bush, so therefore they're all leftists.
What conservatives just don't get, and probably never will, is the deep hatred of Bush from the majority of the country. Not just liberals. 3/4 of the electorate hated his guts by the time he was gone. Therefore, 3/4 of the electorate is a bunch of raving leftists? I don't think so. If Avenue Q decided to put "Barack" in the place of Bush, it just wouldn't get a very good reaction, not right now with the majority of the country behind him.
All these articles about liberalism in the theatre are interesting. It is true that most professional theatre people are liberal, at least socially liberal. It's one of the only professions where being gay could actually be a career move. But the fiction that they only create shows with leftist ideas that are contrary to 50% of the country is just nonsense. "Hairspray" was one of the biggest hits in years, a family show if there ever was one that will be done in high schools for years to come, and it was created entirely by liberal gay people. Ditto just about any other musical of the last 30 years, including "West Side Story," currently in revival. These are not shows with an "agenda," other than to entertain. Interesting note: "South Pacific" is a smash in NY right now, and a song in it, "Carefully Taught," about how racist attitudes are learned, not inborn, was almost removed from the original because of protests from conservatives. Rodgers and Hammerstein refused, and the musical is still one of the greats.
Certainly, there are plays that upset some people in the audience with a point of view they don't like, but a good play is a good play and a bad one is a bad one. If conservative writers would just write decent plays, they would have no trouble getting produced. Horton Foote is one of the most produced playwrights in the world, and all of his work reflects "traditional values." Conservatives should quit complaining about art and create some decent art themselves, but this is difficult since the conservative mind is not inherently artistic.
I really wanted that stuff!
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