“Colombiana” is a deeply-flawed film. Its dialogue is mediocre, its plot is exaggerated, and some of its action sequences leave a lot to be desired. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t like it. Despite its weaknesses, I found “Colombiana” to be a highly watchable and energetic movie experience.

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The plot concerns a young woman named Cataleya (Amandla Stenberg), whose parents are killed at her own doorstep. The little girl is left sitting at her kitchen table as one of her parent’s assassins arrives to interrogate her about a missing disk. It looks like Cataleya is about to be killed herself but before that can happen, she viciously attacks her interrogator and races to safety in an over-the-top action sequence that Jason Bourne would be jealous of.

After her escape, Cataleya moves to the United States and decides to become an assassin. When she says “I want to be a killer,” her relatives barely flinch at the revelation. However, when she decides that she doesn’t want to go to school, her uncle goes berserk and fires a few shots outside of her school in plain daylight. You have to be smart to be an assassin, he seems to be saying, while proving that the opposite is also true. Eventually, the grown Cataleya (played by Zoe Saldana)  decides to seek revenge against the people who killed her parents. (more…)

Quotes from actress Zoe Saldana from an interview in the Daily Mail:

“Deep down, some people are enjoying the fact that the most powerful nation on Earth is struggling a little – and then they deny that’s racist! And that frightens me. I’ve witnessed racism all my life. And of course there’s racism and discrimination in Hollywood. You go for a part and they say, ‘Oh, we really liked her, she’s amazing, but we wanted to go with something more traditional.’ As if I’m not a traditional American! I feel sorry for people like that. They need to educate themselves. Mostly you move on and say, ‘Well, I wasn’t meant to work with you or be around someone like you…’ Other times you might say, ‘You’re ignorant, you’re a racist. That’s it. I’m out of here!’ …

“We’ll definitely have a woman President in my lifetime.I just hope she’ll be a good leader. Some Republicans say, ‘Oh, you voted for Obama because he’s black.’ And that’s so offensive and condescending. I voted for him because he represents the things I believe in. And when it comes to a woman standing for President, I won’t campaign for her just because she’s a woman; I’ll campaign for her if I believe she’d b a good leader. Women have to stand up for what’s rightfully ours: equality. We don’t hate men – I certainly don’t – it’s just about getting respect.”

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Ed. Note: Please welcome and make Lauren feel at home in the Big Hollywood family. — JN

A stone-cold, but sexy performance by Zoe Saldana makes what would be a C-plotline into a fun, late-summer action flick. Writer, producer Luc Besson combines the better of his two worlds from “La Femme Nikita” and “Taken” and creates the incredibly simplistic (in a good way) plot that is “Colombiana.”

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Zoe Saldana plays Cataleya, who as a child witnessed the murder of both her parents by drug lords in Colombia. She luckily escapes and finds her way to America, where her badass street criminal uncle, Emilio (Cliff Curtis), raises her. From that point on, Cataleya has one mission and one mission only: kill the people who murdered her parents.  When Young Cataleya, played by stunning newcomer Amandla Stenberg, states to her uncle, “I want to be a killer,” anyone’s initial reaction should be “Well that’s not normal.” Her uncle just embraces it, emphasizing that while school is important, he will still teach her the ropes of being an assassin. A hit man for her uncle by day and seeking vengeance by night, Cataleya becomes an assassin you want to root for.

Director Olivier Megaton (“Transporter 3”) delivers some exciting action scenes and creates a number of complicated set pieces. One of which has young Cataleya being chased through the streets of Bogota by her parent’s murderers; the other where Cataleya sneaks around a jailhouse to kill her target without drawing attention to herself. Although these scenes are very complicated, they come across as smooth and well done. One thing that holds this movie back is its PG-13 rating. Considering all the blood and a near-nude Saldana, it doesn’t make sense as to why the filmmakers didn’t go all out with an R-rating.

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There’s been the usual ration of trashy films this summer—Green Lantern and Cowboys & Aliens limp instantly to mind—and now, at the gasping end of August, we have Colombiana, which is pure trash, boldly undiluted. The movie is genre action at its most generic, a thick pudding of all the usual rooftop chases, martial-artsy slap-ups, and improbably huge weaponry. And with the minimally expressive Zoe Saldana cast as the picture’s improbable thug-whomper, it’s a more than usually tedious exercise. But writer-producer Luc Besson and his directorial protégé, the deliciously monikered Olivier Megaton, clearly have their eyes on the international action market, and by now only a fool would question their expertise.

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The story begins in 1992, in the Colombian drug capital of Bogotá, with a desperate gangster being mowed down by rival mobsters at the behest of a crime lord named Don Luis (Beto Benites). Present at this bullet-riddled scene is the gangster’s daughter, Cataleya (precociously well-played by Amadla Stenberg), who appears to be about 12 years old. She is clutching a period ROM cartridge and a safe-haven address in the States passed on by her father before he met his bloody end. After escaping a herd of heavily armed bad guys across the aforementioned rooftops, Cataleya makes her way to an intel officer at the local U.S. embassy, turns over the computer cartridge—which is loaded with international-crime info—and is put on a plane to Miami for further CIA examination. Upon arrival, though, she slips away from her Agency minder and hops a bus to Chicago, where she finds refuge with her Uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis, occasionally channeling Tony Montana), who is likewise a gangster. She tells Emilio she wants to become a killer, and eventually hunt down Don Luis. Okay, why not.

Cataleya quickly sprouts into Saldana, whose performance inclines heavily toward introspective brooding and standard dead-eyed menace. Under Emilio’s tutelage, the girl has in fact become a rub-out specialist, and over the course of several assignments we see her terminating a succession of Don Luis’ scumbags in the usual madly inventive ways. (The most interesting is a complicated jailhouse take-down involving a crucial coffee spoon and the sudden appearance of a sleek catsuit.) Before long, Don Luis begins to divine Cataleya’s lethal objective, which sets up an ultimate confrontation heavy with inevitability. All of this despite the best efforts of a dogged FBI agent (Lennie James) to bring Cataleya to justice, and the devotion of a largely irrelevant boyfriend (Michael Vartan) who adores this mysterious woman without knowing a single thing about her.

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It’s hard to go into a movie called “The Losers” with high expectations. The title is silly and likely turned some viewers off (who wants to go see a movie called “The Losers,” anyway?). Fortunately, the title does not do the movie justice as the film turns out to be a fun, light and enjoyable action adventure.

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The story begins with a unit of quirky individuals on a seemingly routine military mission in Bolivia. That mission becomes more complicated than expected when a group of kids becomes endangered and soon they’re (the “Losers”) all targeted for assassination by a mysterious man who goes by the name Max. After a failed assassination plot against the “Losers,” the team decides to seek vengeance against Max with the assistance of Aisha, an intense and seductive woman they meet while attempting to lay low. The movie focuses on the Losers and Aisha as they attempt to find Max and bring him to justice for betraying them. 

Although this sounds like a typical action adventure, events are spiced with comedic elements. The Losers never take themselves all that seriously and the story’s clever wit livens up the action sequences. In one particularly enjoyable sequence, one of the Losers has to break into an office to steal some files which leads to a woman catching him changing his clothes in the elevator and a smart ending to the escape operation all set to a terrific song. (more…)

Funerals are normally solemn occasions, filled with a combination of grief for the death of a loved one, joy at their passing into a “better place” in the afterlife, and fond remembrances of what the deceased meant to each of those in attendance. But for the family at the heart of the wildly funny new comedy “Death at a Funeral,” there’s no such luck for a dignified event.

First, the body in the casket is an Asian man, and the family are an enormous African-American clan. Once they fix the little problem of having the wrong body delivered to their house, they still have to contend with the lifelong feud between brothers played by Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock, as well as the nasty attitude Rock’s mom gives Rock’s wife for not producing a grandchild fast enough.

Add in two Caucasian beaus fighting for the attention of Rock’s cousin (Zoe Saldana) – one (Luke Wilson) who’s a straight-arrow beloved by her father (Ron Glass) and the other an irresponsible goofball rendered helpless for the event by an accidental dose of psychedelic drugs (James Marsden, in a stunningly funny performance that should make him the next Jim Carrey). (more…)

Glamour Magazine:

GLAMOUR: In past interviews, you’ve bristled on the topic of race. Why

Zoe Saldana: Because ethnic is a word that doesn’t exist in my vocabulary. In Hollywood, you hear things like, “Oh, they loved you but they want to go more traditional.” That’s the new N word. So when [someone says] I look “dark,” I say, “Dark compared to whom? This is just my skin.”

If true, this isn’t terribly surprising for a few reasons. First, the left runs Hollywood and the left is unnaturally obsessed with race. Long after normal people in this country achieved actual colorblindness and started seeing each other only as fellow Americans and human beings, the left still can’t let it go.

Without even thinking about it, good people focus on what we share in common with those around us.  And if there are differences between us, they have nothing to do with something as shallow as skin color or ethnicity. (more…)

Imagine the story of a soldier sent to fight native tribes for their land, but finds that once he actually meets and gets to know them, he respects them too much to follow through with his mission. Gradually he becomes one of the tribe, leaving his old way of life behind to embrace their nature-loving culture.

You might think you’ve just read the synopsis for Kevin Costner’s Oscar-winning classic “Dances With Wolves.” But it’s actually also the core plot of another Oscar-winning director’s new film: James Cameron’s “Avatar.”

The fact that “Avatar” is basically “Dances With Wolves in Space” represents the film’s major flaw. For despite being the most expensive film of all time, with a $300 million production cost and another estimated $200 million spent on advertising, “Avatar” is also one of the most derivative films of all time. It’s hard to believe that a man like Cameron (“Terminator 2,” “Titanic”), who is capable of absolute genius in creating the film’s staggering visuals and astonishing breakthroughs in 3D IMAX technology, is unable to come up with a screenplay that isn’t a hamfisted mishmash of countless better films’ plot elements and a heavy-handed bash on modern American foreign policy. (more…)

Absent from the big screen for over a decade now, Oscar-winning director James Cameron returns armed with a reported half-billion dollars, a story he’s been desperate to tell for 15 years, and the very latest in cutting-edge visual technology. The result is “Avatar,” a sanctimonious thud of a movie so infested with one-dimensional characters and PC clichés that not a single plot turn – small or large – surprises. I call it the “liberal tell,” where the early and obvious politics of the film gives away the entire story before the second act begins, and “Avatar” might be the sorriest example of this yet. For all the time and money and technology that went into its making, the thing that matters most – character and story – are strictly Afterschool Special.

What a crushing disappointment from one of our most original and imaginative filmmakers.

Set in 2154, “Avatar” is a thinly disguised, heavy-handed and simplistic sci-fi fantasy/allegory critical of America from our founding straight through to the Iraq War. Sam Worthington is Jake Sully, a paraplegic Marine Corporal sent to the planet Pandora after the untimely death of his brother. In a plot-thread built up to promise much that never pays off, Sully has none of the training his brother benefitted by: years of schooling in the Avatar Program to prepare him to infiltrate the indigenous species of Pandora called the Na’vi, who are the only things between Earth’s RDA (Resources Development Administration) and a precious energy resource “ironically” called Unobtainium.

Because the air on Pandora is toxic to humans, the RDA developed the Avatar Program to create clone-like avatars from both Na’vi and human DNA (which is why they need the untrained Sully) that allow for a human to transfer their consciousness into the 10-foot native blue beings and safely explore the planet. The scientists want to use the program to study Pandora, the military wants to conquer it, and the RDA wants to strip mine it. At first Sully’s unconcerned with these dueling tensions and agendas. Once a marine always a marine, and when his commanding officer, the beefed up genocide-happy Col. Quaritch (Stephen Lang), asks him to infiltrate the Na’vi and do recon for a probable attack, Jake is more than ready. Hoo-rah. (more…)

Rebooting Bond with Daniel Craig was Bold. Christopher Nolan’s Reinvention of Batman was genius. But some thought it was overly-ambitious, even audacious, to attempt to restart the Star Trek franchise. It has begun to pay off already for Paramount Pictures, and there will dividends for years to come.

A shiny new Enterprise is luring in a new generation of STAR TREK fans

J.J. Abrams is officially the Lazarus of movie directors as his all-new Star Trek has gone “Boldly Gone Where No Star Trek Movie has Gone Before.” With a cast of relative unknowns, the 42-year-old has resurrected a franchise that had been killed by insular “nerdyness” and timid imagination. The Gene Rodenberry creation didn’t so much bomb as it died slowly over a period of years. First, the 2002 movie Star Trek: Nemesis starring the Next Generation cast disappointed with a meager $43.3M domestic. Then, the final TV series Enterprise, which starred Scott Bakula, was not embraced by core fans or broader audiences and was canceled after four seasons, ending May 13, 2005.

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Several sources at competing studios have told me that J.J. Abrams’ all-new reboot of Star Trek (Paramount), which debuted last night at 7pm at many of its 3,849 locations, may have grossed as much as $6.5M-$7.5M. Studio honchos are “locked down tight” about actual numbers, but that is in the same ballpark as Transformers (Dreamworks/Paramount), which grabbed $8.8M in its previews starting at 8pm on Monday, July 2 during the summer of 2007. (What portion of ticket sales fall into Thursday and what percentage fall into Friday will likely be an open question even after final numbers are in.)

William Shatner (left) with Captain Kirk 2.0 Chris Pine

Keep in mind that Paramount never changed its Star Trek marketing to promote the 7pm Thursday start, so the opening night audience was likely heavy on Trekkers or Trekkies (not sure which term is “politically correct” anymore). So this was a “soft” opening and what amounts to a night of word-of-mouth screenings. Keep in mind that Transformers premiered during the summer when kids are more available while Star Trek has made its premiere during the school year.

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The all-new J.J. Abrams reboot of Star Trek (Paramount) will win the second weekend of the Hollywood Summer Box Office season by at least a couple of light years over Fox’s fast-fading X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but some of the astronomical numbers I’ve seen floating around in the blogosphere are very over-heated. Make no mistake, this movie will open extraordinarily well, but it’s not going to play out as a typical front-loaded blockbuster. Moviegoers need time to shake off the disappointment of the final TV series Enterprise (starring Scott Bakula and canceled after four seasons) and the disastrous 2002 final film Star Trek: Nemesis ($43.3M domestic). It will take time for a new generation of fans to discover the magic of Gene Rodenberry’s vision of the future through Abrams’ magical lens.

As of Wednesday night, Star Trek is cruising with 94% Fresh (positive) reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and critics are slinging some seriously glowing hyperbole.

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As a veteran, I want to say “Thanks” to Hollywood.

Too often, the only thing we hear about the Industry is that a new movie is coming out that portrays our soldiers as near mindless half-wits turned into raving murderers by America’s unjust wars. But that kind of nonsense is not the whole story.

Recently, J.J. Abrams, the director of the new “Star Trek” re-boot packed up cast members like Chris Pine, Eric Bana, and the lovely Zoe Saldana and flew off to premiere their film. This premiere was not for a bunch of overpaid, over-pampered movie stars in some gaudy theater. Instead, it was in a dusty hangar in the Middle East, and the audience was made up of our troops. And that is not the exception. (more…)