I was a bit of a fraidy-cat when I was a kid.  I used to sleepwalk after seeing scary movies, or if that didn’t happen, I would awake-walk into my parents’ room for a hug from Mom.   In order to confront that embarrassing—if amusing—childhood demon, I became a bit of a horror buff.  Hopefully my pain is your gain.

Five Movies to Watch This Halloween

“Return of the Living Dead” (1985)
In this “cult classic,” a group of punk rock-loving teens venture out to pick up a friend from his job at a medical supply shop in Louisville, Kentucky.  When a foreman opens up a military drum that was accidentally sent to the shop—which, oh-by-the-way has an UNDEAD BODY IN IT!!—all zombie-hell breaks loose.

The film is genuinely funny, has a couple of good scares, and a rockin’ soundtrack, but it also injected life into the genre because all the zombies run (fast!) and most of them talk.  Like this one:

Doesn’t she look familiar?  Check out this zombie from “The Walking Dead.”

The B-plot, featuring an Army Colonel on a mysterious, tedious, yet seemingly extremely important mission, is tied up brilliantly in the frightening, apocalyptic conclusion.

But what really puts this film over the top is that it features the best zombie of all time, Tarman.  Gruesome, evil, and with just the right amount of camp, the zombie that first exclaimed “BRRAAAAAIIIIINNNNSS!!” before chowing down on the cerebral cortex of some young punk deserves a place in cinematic lore.

One of the least scary on this list, “Return of the Living Dead” is good for non-horror fans.

“Let the Right One In” (2008)
One of the best vampire films of all time.  It’s a coming-of-age love story—imagine a Swedish pre-teen “Twilight” with a lot less sparkles and a lot more blood-sucking—that has become more relevant today thanks to the left’s obsession with bullying.  Unlike Hollywood celebrities who think whiny PSAs and hate-crime legislation are the ways to snuff out bullies, “Let the Right One In” takes a slightly different approach: fight back with all you have.  I guarantee your jaw hits the floor when the bad guys get their comeuppance.

“Let Me In,” the inappropriately titled American remake, is nearly as good as the original.

“Zombieland” (2009)
Much like how marijuana is a “gateway” drug, “Zombieland” is a gateway horror film.  If you have a significant other who is uneasy with monster movies, show her this to win her over to the genre.  Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin journey across America to an amusement park, hilariously slaughtering the undead in the most creative ways possible.  “Zombieland” is the funniest zombie film I’ve ever seen, and unlike “The Walking Dead,” for example, you become emotionally attached to its unique and sympathetic characters.

It also features one of the greatest cameos ever.

“Dawn of the Dead” (2004)
George Romero’s original is perhaps the ultimate zombie director’s best film, but Zack Snyder’s remake may be the scariest living-dead flick.  Though it’s a massive departure from Romero’s classic—Snyder’s version is lighter on social commentary and heavier on gore—the visionary director of “300” and “Watchmen” (and “Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole“) proves there’s clearly more than one way to skin a cat… or reanimate a corpse.

“The Orphanage” (2007)
An ominous, morally sophisticated character study of a woman coping with the sudden disappearance of her young child.  There isn’t much violence beyond a finger being broken in broad daylight (a truly horrifying scene) and there are no cheapo scares, but impeccable direction from first-timer Juan Antonio Bayona, a moving performance from Spanish actress Belén Rueda, and a monstrous boy wearing a gunny-sack mask make “El Orfanato” truly captivating cinema.

***

More Scary Movies of Note

“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974)
John Nolte’s favorite horror movie, and for good reason.

“28 Days/Weeks Later” (2002/2007)
“28 Days Later” should score points with conservative moviegoers from the very start, when we learn the fastest zombies on two feet are a product of environmental activism gone horribly wrong.  Unfortunately, “Days” squanders that good will in the third act when the military starts trying to rape the women.  The ship is righted with a briskly paced and beautifully shot sequel.  Both are very frightening.

“The Ring” (2002)
The premise of the film sounds gimmicky: teens watch a videotape with a bunch of (really really) creepy images on it, and then they die seven days later.  Stupid… right?  Nuh uh… Start to finish, this is one of the scariest movies ever made.  A never-better Naomi Watts and gorgeously-eerie cinematography make the momentum build to what you think is a satisfying ending, until… what did that creepy little boy just say!?!

“Day of the Dead” (1985)
The third film from the “Godfather of all Zombies” may be a left-wing screed against the military (though a very well done one), but the semi-socialized zombie Bub—who listens to headphones, salutes, and shoots guns—makes “Day” a must-see.  Watch this one after “Return” and let us know whether you think Bub or Tarman is history’s top zombie.

“Gigli“ (2003)
Not a traditional horror film, but this Bennifer vehicle is every bit as ghastly as anything on this list.  There are movies that are so bad that they’re good, there are movies that are so bad that there is no amount of entertainment to be gleaned from them, and then there’s “Gigli.”  Scary.

***

One More to Watch… Any Time

In terms of horror/scary/Halloween movies, “The Exorcist” (1973) is in a class by itself.  Not only is it the scariest movie of all time, it’s a clear articulation of what it means to be a Catholic and the power of faith in God.

More than anything, the story is about Father Damien Karras, a Priest struggling with his own faith, who is called to perform an exorcism on a young girl whose body and mind have been inhabited by a demon.  The demon picked this innocent child to make us despair, and it’s only by overcoming his doubts and putting his full trust in God that Damien is able to triumph over pure evil.

As Christians, all of us question our beliefs periodically, and this portrayal of a priest challenges professors and other left-wing intellectuals who largely consider religious people blind dogmatists.  In fact, I’d argue atheists tend to be much more dogmatic than Christians and Jews because they are more frequently than not unwavering in their denial of God.

“The Exorcist” is vulgar, disgusting, and unrelentingly terrifying, and it’s also one of the greatest stories of faith and sacrifice ever portrayed on film.

That’s why any day of the year is an excellent day for an exorcism.

Happy Halloween!

1. Make everything look really cool
2. Other stuff

This is not an attack against Snyder, it’s simply the truth.  Sucker Punch is Snyder’s first movie that isn’t a remake or based on another property, so it seemed like this would be the time for him to really display what he’s all about as an artist.  What we got was a collection of nutty action scenes strung together with a dream-world framing device.  When I wrote about Heavy Metal in HomeVideodrome a couple of weeks ago, a Big Hollywood commenter likened it to Sucker Punch, which is an astute comparison.

Sucker Punch takes place in the sixties, and is about a young girl known as Babydoll (Emily Browning), who has been institutionalized by her evil stepfather after she accidentally kills her sister in an attempt on his life.  Once inside, she enters a fantasy world where the mental asylum becomes a brothel akin to Moulin Rouge, and the various inmates and staff at the hospital fill out the roles of the characters in her head.  Determined to escape, Babydoll does a seductive dance for the entertainment of their male clientele while her inmate pals steal what they need while everyone is distracted.  The audience is never privy to Babydoll’s legendary dance.  Instead we get another level of fantasy.  Each time she dances we are treated to a crazy fantasy action scene involving Babydoll and her fellow female inmates.  Scott Glenn makes an appearance in a role that would otherwise have been filled by the late David Carradine, playing Charlie to the girls’ Angels for each mission they go on.

This movie has been the subject to a great deal of criticism and controversy, specifically attacking the film’s supposed pretensions towards female empowerment as nothing more than juvenile male fantasy.  The problem with this criticism is that the movie seems to be more about the idea of female empowerment via fantasy sex and violence before grim reality rears its ugly head.  But critics reading are reading to deep into what Snyder is doing, as all of this is arbitrary.  The whole point of Sucker Punch is to have an excuse to show off action whackadoo action sequences that have no basis in reality.  Snyder has stated that this was his intent from the beginning, and I don’t see anything wrong with that.

Sucker Punch has a structure that becomes apparent once you settle in; you know when the good stuff is coming.  When I saw it in the theater, I could time when a good moment would be to sneak off to the men’s room so I wouldn’t miss any of the really fun moments.  The movie’s action scenes are delightful eye-candy, and they come as the delicious filling between scenes where Babydoll and her pals tick off their checklist for escape. Each set piece is another level in the video game where they must battle outlandish enemies in order to secure their freedom, and this is where Sucker Punch packs a wallop.

This here ain’t cinema that is as worthy of heavy discussion as its fans and detractors like to claim it is.  Sure it has fun ideas on the periphery, but overall it’s all about kicking ass in crazy scenarios, be it girls fighting steam-powered Nazi zombies while piloting giant robots, or taking on giant machine-gun toting stone samurai in a temple while listening to Bjork.  If that sounds like your joint, then queue up.  Otherwise, move along.

Available on DVD/Blu-ray combo, Blu-ray and DVD.

Barney’s Version was one of the overlooked movies of 2011, featuring the best lead performance so far in Paul Giamatti’s career.  Giamatti fills the titular role with the unenviable task of taking a deeply unlikable lead character, and injecting him with the nuance necessary to let the audience understand him.  Normally this is the task given to actors who play the villain of a piece, but Giamatti has to work this angle as the protagonist, and he does so beautifully.

Based on the final novel by Mordecai Richler, the movie tells the life story of Barney Panofsky, a Jewish-Canadian TV soap opera producer who loves to drink booze, chain-smoke cigars, and watch hockey sans the rioting.  There are two plot lines running through the film, one being Barney’s relationship with his best bud Boogie (Scott Speedman), a junkie author who moves in and out of his life the way various women do. This brings up the second plot thread, Barney’s three failed marriages, with focus on the third with a woman named Miriam (Rosamund Pike), who Barney meets at the reception for his second marriage, and ends up being the love of his life.

It’s hard to get behind a character that finds his true love at his own wedding to someone else.  Barney is a character that seems incapable of having a long-term relationship with anyone but himself, yet his person is laid bare for us to examine further via Giamatti’s brilliant performance.  Other standout performances include Dustin Hoffman as Barney’s oddball ex-cop father in a performance so warm it could cure frostbite.  Scott Speedman is also magnificent as Barney’s bizarro buddy Boogie, whose questionable fate plays a central role in the overall plot.

It’s been awhile since we’ve seen Paul Giamatti really flex his muscles as the actor he really is, so it’s good to see a film that properly uses his considerable talents.  If you missed this movie in the theater, be sure to give it a look.  Keep an eye out for cameos by various famous Canadian directors, including David Cronenberg, Atom Egoyan, and Ted Kotcheff.

Available on Blu-ray/DVD combo.

Other Noteworthy Releases:

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy: The extended editions are here, and on Blu-ray.  While the films have the new HD transfers and the special features from the extended DVD sets are in tact, don’t expect the extras to be in HD as well, as most of them are included on DVD discs.

Available on Blu-ray.

Tetsuo – The Bullet Man: Shinya Tsukamoto is the cyberpunk David Cronenberg of Japan, and his body-horror freakout, Tetsuo: The Iron Man, is a classic low-budget oddity.  Like Robert Rodriguez with El Mariachi and Desperado, Tsukamoto followed it up with a big budget remake, Tetsuo II: Body Hammer.  Tsukamoto’s newest film is the third in the series, entitled Tetsuo: The Bullet Man.  It’s Tsukamoto’s first film to be shot in English, and has an original theme composed by Nine Inch Nails.  It’s always a shot in the dark when directors return to the material that made them famous decades down the line, but Tsukamoto is a director who always surprises me.  Let’s just hope it’s better than Once Upon a Time in Mexico.

Available on DVD.

Cowboy Bebop – The Movie: The feature film based on the popular, jazzy sci-fi anime series comes to Blu-ray.  Even if you don’t dig Japanese anime, Cowboy Bebop is one to check out, it has colorful characters, kinetic action, and a rockin’ soundtrack.

Available on Blu-ray.

Black Moon: Criterion releases this surrealist dream-like film from Louis Malle.  The synopsis describes it as “Louis Malle meets Lewis Carroll.”

Available on Blu-ray and DVD.

Zazie dans le metro: Another Louis Malle film from Criterion, this one being an “anarchic comedy” based on the novel by Raymond Queneau.

Available on Blu-ray and DVD.

People on Sunday: A pre-war German silent film that involved a who’s who of future big-names in Hollywood, including the Curt and Robert Siodmak, Edgar G. Ulmer, and the great Billy Wilder, who wrote the film’s screenplay.  Released via Criterion.

Available on Blu-ray and DVD.

Season of the Witch: Nic Cage and Ron Perlman crusade it up in the Middle Ages in a mix of Bergman’s Seventh Seal and Witchfinder General.  I thought this one looked like fun, but the ghastly reviews made me think twice about catching it in the theater.  That’s why God invented Netflix.

Available on Blu-ray and DVD.

The Warrior’s Way: A goofy-looking kung-fu western that came & went at the box office.  Being a junkie for this kind of madness, I’ll Netflix it one night when I’m not feeling productive.

Available on Blu-ray and DVD.

Beastly: This Beauty & The Beast retelling starring Vanessa Hudgens got a lot of negative the-title-reviews-itself write-ups.

Available on Blu-ray and DVD.

DHD:

The film, a spinoff  to 300, is one that the film’s original director Zack Snyder was going to direct. That was until Warner Bros and producer Chris Nolan offered him Man of Steel, and Snyder and wife and producing partner Debra Snyder put Xerxes aside and moved on to rebooting the Superman franchise because Warner Bros needed it. The Snyders have been all over this director selection process. Snyder had written a script with his 300 cohort Kurt Johnstad. Like 300, it is based on a Frank Miller graphic novel that will be shot with the kind of stylized period green-screen action visuals that became the signature of 300 and helped the film gross $456 million worldwide. Xerxes was the Persian leader seen in 300. Miller’s graphic novel told the story of how Xerxes became this peculiar god-like entity. That mythology goes back to the death of his father, Darius, from injuries sustained at the Battle of Marathon in 490 B.C. Darius had told his son not to attack the Greeks because they can only be punished by a god, and so Xerxes tried to transform himself into a deity to gain revenge.

The title has changed from “Xerxes” to “300: Battle of Artemisia” and more information on the potential directors can be found at DHD.

I don’t know anything about her background, but at least Amy Adams looks like might have at one time not lived in the San Fernando Valley and experienced some life outside of a mall. She can also convey Lois Lane’s spunk without completely getting on my nerves. All in all, a very promising casting choice. Most of all, though, the choice shows the director’s confidence in his lead actor to hold his own. Adams is a star in her own right with real charisma.

Superman’s going to have his hands full.

The Los Angeles Times:

The 36-year-old star got the news on Sunday from director Zack Snyder, who phoned her from Paris, where he was promoting his just-opened film, “Sucker Punch.” There had been a crush of Hollywood interest in the lead female role in the Warner Bros. project but Snyder said that after meeting with Adams, she was the clear choice to take on a character that dates back to 1938 and has long represented the strong, professional woman who can hold her own against any man – even if he can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

“There was a big, giant search for Lois,” Snyder said. “For us it was a big thing and obviously a really important role. We did a lot of auditioning

Well, have I got an answer for them: the new movie “Sucker Punch” is the worst, most agonizing and incomprehensible movie I have ever seen. Dark, grim and utterly unpleasant, it comes from the mind of Zach Snyder, who has directed the remake of “Dawn of the Dead” as well as “300,” “Watchmen,” and that weird owl movie from last fall. Tragically, he’s been announced as the director of an upcoming “Superman” reboot, which leads me to think it’s not Kryptonite that will kill the Man of Steel, but rather Zach Snyder.

——

“Sucker Punch” is dark, grim and utterly unpleasant from the get-go, as the opening scene shows a teenage girl learning her mother has died, as her stepfather sneers at the death and her sadness. He flips out when he finds that his wife’s will left her apparent fortune to her two daughters, and his abusiveness compels the young blonde pigtailed gal to whip out a gun and try to shoot him – only to miss and accidentally kill her sister instead.

As a result, she gets packed off to a mental institution that’s actually a weird sort of bordello in which teen girls are dumped off and trained to dress like tramps and dance whorishly for paying male customers who then apparently have their way with them. Our protagonist is renamed Baby Doll and is ordered by a ridiculous evil choreographer with an atrocious Eastern European accent (Carla Gugino in a rare misfired role) to start dancing or die.

But when the music – if you can call it that, as it’s an utterly obnoxious sonic atrocity that sounds like Trent Reznor attempted to write a burlesque score – starts, Baby Doll closes her eyes, starts to shimmy a little, and…

Here’s where it goes from a merely creepy pseudo-pedophilic fantasy to utterly insane and violent video game action. For instead of letting the audience actually see her dance, we see that Baby Doll is actually visualizing a fantasy world in which she’s suddenly standing outside a snowy Buddhist-style temple and is given a big sword and some cryptic instructions by the ugliest old man imaginable (veteran character actor Scott Glenn is not aging well.)

He basically tells her how to escape the institution, saying she needs to find a map, a key and some other random accouterments to get out. He then says “and be ready to fight them” and shoves her out the door, where she sees three giant monstrous creatures wearing those weird round pointy hats that are found in China. What ensues next is a completely incomprehensible battle royale in which they whomp and kick her around before she decapitates one, cuts another’s arm off and then shoots the third in the head.

She’s victorious, but suddenly she’s back on stage getting leered at by all the men and stared at with gape-jawed admiration by the rest of the girls. Apparently, while we were watching her kill the samurai beasties she was actually dancing the trampiest dance of all time.

This leads to the big escape plan, as she tells the rest of the girls that she’ll keep dancing to distract all the employees of the institution while the rest of the dancers sneak around grabbing the map and key and other stuff they need for the big getaway. They are all trying to get out before a supercreep customer named High Roller (inexplicably played by Jon Hamm, who should know better) shows up to really do some damage on them. Since there are five items to snag, we the audience get subjected to four or five more big, pointless, ugly, stupid action scenes including a World War II trench warfare-style sequence that again makes no sense and completely hides the actual dancing.

Throughout, we keep hearing the girls say or get told that they can escape if they really want to. And I assume most moviegoers unwitting enough to pay for this garbage can also make an escape anytime they want. Unfortunately, as a critic who needs to keep a relationship going with the studio that’s releasing this, I had to stay through the whole thing and just fantasize about regaining two hours of my life.

From top to bottom, this is one weird and nasty enterprise. The fact these are teenage girls makes it especially creepy, and the fact that a bevy of rising actresses including Vanessa Hudgens agreed to play these glorified strippers with silly names is just sad. Seriously, Vanessa, Britney Spears’ flipout four years ago was a saner career move than this.

One admittedly strange-sounding side note about all this is that none of the girls – not just Baby Doll – is really ever seen dancing. Now, as a Christian critic, I should perhaps commend Snyder’s attempt at some level of decorum.

But the fact is, if you’re going to make a movie where females are forced to strip or at least dance dirty and it’s a key part of what you’re calling a plot, then you have to show at least some dancing. It turns out that the studio was so terrified of the movie tanking as an “R” after Snyder’s owl movie bombed and “Watchmen” underperformed that they forced it to wind up as a PG-13 – forcing a whopping 18 minutes to get cut from the film. Even Snyder has been out in public touting the fact that the Blu-Ray will restore all that stuff, meaning he’s basically telling people wait for the video. I say, skip even that.

As I fled the theater the moment the credits started, I realized that the joke was truly on anyone who saw the movie. Come on, folks, it’s called “Sucker Punch.” It was so unpleasant it could have been renamed “Groin Kick.” And the producers have indeed sucker punched anyone who spends a dime to see this.

“Sucker Punch” stars Baby Doll (Emily Browning), a blonde beauty thrown into a mental institution by her stepfather, who sees a path to her mother’s fortune through her demise. Baby Doll is scheduled for a lobotomy within a week of arriving at the institution, sealing her stepfather’s grip on the fortune. To save herself, she must escape. To do so, she enlists the help of fellow asylum inmates (a who’s who of rising young actresses) and a vivid imagination. Between the two, reality and fantasy blur, as Snyder’s rock-and-roll ride inhabits worlds beyond the constructs of “Inception” and “Alice in Wonderland.” As her psychologist (Carla Gugino) in the asylum assures her, she has all the weapons she needs inside of herself. All she must do is fight. 

—–

And she does, in some of the most original battle sequences I’ve ever seen. Spike’s Deadliest Warrior can’t compare to the battle combinations of Zack Snyder. Our heroines are the stuff of fanboy dreams, their schoolgirl outfits accessorized with bits of armor and an arsenal of weapons including but not limited to samurai swords, machine guns, a Native American tomahawk and Revolutionary War pistols – with a giant robot, what looks like a WW II bomber and a futuristic helicopter for air support – battle goblins, knights, a dragon, oriental light-filled samurai giants, robots and World War I steam-powered zombie Germans – yes, you read that correctly – in landscapes that range from a medieval castle to another planet in some technologically-advanced future. Their dilapidated insane asylum looks pretty normal by comparison. 

Snyder’s signature style of mixing slow-motion and ultra-fast-paced action is back with a vengeance. One battle in particular, when the girls fight robots on a bullet train, is shot in fluid motion, without cuts that I can remember – just a rhythmic speed-up and slow-down. It’s an incredible scene. In addition, battle sounds are gratingly amplified, bringing the fight that much closer. 

For a film so visually stunning and intense, there’s a surprising lack of color, as Snyder again paints from a palette of gray and black hues. 

The cast is strong, with great lead and supporting actors and actresses. Baby Doll is just that. Pale-faced with rosy cheeks, dark eyelashes and platinum blonde hair, she’s a porcelain doll, who looks much more fragile than she is. Along with her compatriots, this cast of damsels could have as easily owned a “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” remake, though I doubt they would have had as much fun. Oscar Isaac is a strong villain orderly/pimp, depending on which world the scene inhabits. 

The script is simple, the premise concise, the dialogue generally solid. But the story itself, while larger than life, is at the same time slight. A mental patient, trying to break out of an asylum, takes her fellow patients on a search for objects to help them escape. That’s pretty much it. The battles are like individual missions in a larger video game, complete with a team leader, Wise Man (Scott Glenn), who briefs the girls before each fight on what object they must find and retrieve. 

Sucker Punch does boast a pretty solid soundtrack, with current and classic rock and pop re-orchestrated into epic war ballads that work to fit into the time and place where each battle occurs. 

The details of the film are quite incredible. Everything is stylized, from the asylum’s Gothic look, down to the sword that Baby Doll carries, which is inscribed with her story in symbols. It’s not something you can see by watching, but it’s there in the production notes. 

And that’s the problem. Snyder and team spent exorbitant amounts of time on details. Which is fantastic. But in the details they lost much of the story they set out to tell. The film is entertaining, and sometimes that’s all you need. But this one, while being an eight or more on different aspects – directing, filming, style, soundtrack, even for the most part acting and writing – adds up to an average whole. It’s goal is to empower audiences – it’s clear from the dialogue at least. But any empowerment was lost amongst the appeal of young, sexy actresses blowing stuff up. It’s not a bad film, but it’s not “300” either.

—–

Our friends at Screen Rant have more….

The 27 year-old Cavill, while relatively unknown compared to fellow DC superhero actors Christian Bale and Ryan Reynolds, is a growing star and certainly has the look to play a younger Clark Kent, a much younger Clark Kent compared to the rumors of 40 year-old Jon Hamm of Mad Men fame playing the iconic character.

Read the full report here.

And so what if he’s a Brit?

What’s great and unique and exceptional about America is that anyone can become an American. Anyone can fight for truth, justice, and the American way. Never forget that the last American cast as Superman fought for truth justice and all that stuff.

A masculine Superman, Zack Snyder directing, Christopher Nolan producing… If we could get in line for tickets now, we would.

Then, alas, came word that the script for the film was “a mess.” The oddly named “Vulture” dropped the bomb that Snyder had been hired because the studio wanted a director capable of putting together a hacky “rush job” so Warner Brothers could keep the rights to the Man of Steel. Director Darren Aronofsky, fresh off the buzz of his upcoming film “The Black Swan” passed on the project because it was in such disarray and reeked of a studio cash grab…. Great Ceasar’s ghost, what’s going on here?

If you haven’t been reading Big Hollywood, or living on Planet Earth, you might not know that Hollywood has a leftist bent to it. You also may not know that the Hollywood press is just as corrupt, self-serving and leftist as their cousins in the mainstream media. The reports of “Superman’s” death are greatly exaggerated. This is nasty spin, aimed to take down two of Hollywood’s new school power players while boosting up a critical darling who has little appeal outside the coastal critics community. It also has a lot to do with politics and ideology.

One has to feel for Darren Aronofsky. I like his films to a certain degree, but don’t think that he is a ground-breaking visionary the way that many film students, mainstream critics, and hipsters claim him to be. “Requiem for a Dream” is not some seminal milestone in the history of film. I do think he is capable and incredibly talented. He has been attached to several high profile projects, and it seems that whenever a film is hunting for a director, his name pops up. He was attached to “Batman” before Nolan and has long been rumored to be the man behind the camera for the “Robocop” reboot. Yet, instead of those films, he continues to do well received, smaller, art house projects like “The Wrestler” and “Black Swan.”

Toiling in the indie world may be emotionally and creatively satisfying, but it doesn’t satisfy a thing called your wallet. Reports indicate that he didn’t take a salary in order to get “Black Swan” made. If you are his agent or manager, you’ve got to be dying. IFP spirit awards, cocktail parties, and glowing reviews from the Village Voice don’t help pay off your Mercedes SUV. Simply put, Aronofsky needs to prove that he can handle a blockbuster. He needs the paycheck that goes along with that task.

So, when word breaks that he lost the job to Zack Snyder, his people have to go into full-fledged damage control mode. Especially when the follow up scuttlebutt is that he’ll be directing the much lower profile “Wolverine 2.” Much like the New York Times parroting Nancy Pelosi’s talking points, entertainment industry reporters and moles are all too happy to run wild with spin from a friendly source like Aronofsky’s people. Think about it. Only one person benefits from this story, and it ain’t Clark Kent.

On top of that, the entertainment press loves to attack both Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder. You can also toss Matthew Vaughn, Edgar Wright, and Sam Raimi onto that list. Just look at all the stories about “Inception” before it came out. All the prognosticating that the film was a huge “risk.” That it was stupid to make a smart film as a blockbuster. “Watchmen” was panned before they even started shooting it. And somehow “Kick Ass” is this monumental failure despite raking in over $100 million at the box office and DVD, despite having a production budget under $25 million.

These guys have all proven that they have little need for the traditional studio system. They are studios onto themselves, using complex financing mechanisms and tough as nails producing partners to bring their films to the screen. They have also managed to do what the studios have tried to do for decades and failed; to merge inventive and quality filmmaking with the “blockbuster.” Not since the heyday of the 1980s, when Zemeckis, Spielberg, Cameron and Reitman were cranking out tent pole films, have we seen so many big-budget action films that also deliver the goods on character and story. The list of directors above have brought us that rare thing, a “dumb” movie that wasn’t stupid.

And that, my friends, pisses off the mid-level executives at the studios. Their bread and butter is delivering notes and dictating the creative direction of genre films. Guys like Nolan and Snyder don’t seem to take these folks too seriously. On top of that, they’ve played their cards right and managed to financially insulate themselves from their influence. Think about it. How much fun must it be to give Brett Ratner, McG, or Paul WS Anderson notes? Nolan and Snyder take away their power, influence, and sheer joy of existence. These mid-level types are EXACTLY the same people who “leak” intel to the trades, blogs, and gossip rags. They are tight with the entertainment industry beat reporters. Christopher Nolan could care less what Nikki Finke thinks. Not so for a development person. So, it should come as no surprise that this cabal of entertainment reporters and business school grads who fancy themselves filmmakers would conspire to tarnish the reps of the only guys in the industry who “get it.”

Because the other people clearly don’t.

One should also consider what is meant by “the script is a mess.” If, hypothetically, the story didn’t fit into left-wing ideology, would that be considered “a mess” to the low-level development people and Sundance types? Let’s just throw it out there that perhaps, perhaps, the directors of “The Dark Knight” and “300” have cooked up something that will truly resonate with middle America. Something that is true to the original comic.

What if Superman travels the world as a reporter, then returns to Metropolis doubting his caped escapades? He realizes that since he can’t be everywhere at once, people have stopped trying to be self-reliant, believing that the messianic Superman will save them, rather than working to save themselves.

Enter General Zod.

Instead of waging war, Zod promises everyone that he, unlike the America-centric Superman, will be the world’s superhero. He will protect and provide for all, and all he wants in return is for you to surrender your free will and “kneel before Zod.”

Superman, knowing of Zod’s evil, launches unpopular attempts to warn the world and battle Zod. Being evenly matched, Superman must turn to an unlikely ally. The only man who has dedicated his life’s work to killing a Kryptonian: Lex Luthor.

In the end, Superman and Luthor wage a final battle against Zod before the United States, the last nation to submit, surrenders its freedom.

To a leftist, that movie isn’t a “mess,” it’s a full blown disaster.

And it’s exactly the kind of film we can expect from Nolan and Snyder.

Some very (to say the least) encouraging news from filmdom broke yesterday: “300″ director Zack Snyder will direct the new Superman film for Warner Bros., and as we already knew, ”Dark Knight” director Christopher Nolan will oversee the reboot as a producer. You couldn’t ask for a stronger super-hero Dream Team, which is why I couldn’t disagree more with comments like this:

Snyder is all about style over substance, and I think that’s a big reason why Bryan Singer’s “Superman Returns” didn’t work, causing the studio to reboot the franchise just four years later.

Zack Snyder’s “Watchmen,” which will someday be recognized as the masterpiece it is, was twice as substantive and complicated (in the best way) as any film that came out that year. But even before that, with “300,” Snyder proved he understands and is uniquely capable of managing big, important, universal and timeless themes without hurting the overall story’s broader commercial appeal. And since this latest incarnation of the Man of Steel will be yet another reboot, Snyder is the perfect director to intelligently bring together all the necessary elements – mythology, character, action and excitement. 

Some leftist critics slammed “300″ as simplistic and stupid. Intentionally or not, they unfairly judged the film from a political point of view as opposed to an artistic one because they see the themes that drove “300″ — those of self sacrifice, what it means to be a man, live free or die, and opposing cowardly appeasers willing to enable evil in exchange for the “stability” of slavery – as simplistic and silly. While that may be their sophisticated and impressively nuanced political opinion, artistically those are far from simplistic themes and extremely difficult to pull off without resorting to the inane, on-the-nose political speechifying that’s plagued every anti-war film since Bush Derangement Syndrome ravaged the Hollywood Hills. 

Other than the terrible casting of Superman and Lois Lane, what undid “Superman Returns” was director Bryan Singer’s vision of Superman as an angsty alienated alien who seemed more interested in finding himself than fighting for truth, justice and all that stuff… “Superman Metrosexual” was all so self-consciously humorless, self-serious, dour and lacking in the heroism, spirit and romance that it completely missed the point of what made the first two Christopher Reeve films so timelessly entertaining. Oh, and it would’ve helped had Lex Luthor’s diabolical plot made a lick of sense. But if you boil it down, the problem with “Returns” is that Singer didn’t want to make a genre picture — which is what all great super-hero films really are.

As he showed with his terrific “Dawn of the Dead” remake and “300,” Snyder is the finest genre filmmaker to come out of the Double Aughts — which makes him perfectly unpretentious for this assignment. And with his two epic Batman films, Nolan proved you can portray a complicated and conflicted hero without ejecting the essential genre elements that make for great storytelling. The only thing that can hurt this film are expectations, which are now sky high, especially with the news that General Zod will be returning as Superman’s arch-villain.

But let’s not tiptoe around the elephant in the room, either. Another reason to be excited over the teaming of these two artistic giants is that they’re responsible for ”300″ and “The Dark Knight,” two of the rare films to come out over the last decade that we right-wingers could eagerly embrace and call our own. 

As the proudly un-embarrassed owner of more than 500 Superman comics and a worshiper of  Christopher Reeve’s iconic portrayal and an even bigger fan of Margo Kidder’s unforgettable Lois Lane, this is the absolute best news about a reboot anyone could ask for.

“Legend of the Guardians” follows Soren (Jim Sturgess), a young owl obsessed with stories of “the Guardians,” a clan of warrior owls who protect the weak from an evil army called the Pure Ones. When Soren and his brother, Kludd (Ryan Kwanten), are kidnapped by these Pure Ones, the stories become reality. Soren escapes and hunts for the Guardians to save the owl kingdom from the Pure Ones, while Kludd slowly becomes one. 

—–

What sets “Legend” apart from other animated films is the scale, style and attention to detail. Director Zack Snyder creates a boundary-less world with expansive deserts, gloomy mountains, trees of mythic size, giving realistic landscapes an ancient, legendary feel. Where animated “Beowolf” and “A Christmas Carol” still look mildly mechanical and fake, and films like “Shrek,” “How to Train you Dragon” and “Toy Story” all maintain an animated style, “Legend of the Guardians” strives for realism (aside from the obvious: owls in armor) through its details – feathers are ruffled, armor is rusted and nothing is entirely perfect. 

The film is based on the first three novels of Kathryn Lasky’s series and was adapted by screenwriters Kathryn Lasky’s  and Emil Stern. Cramming three books into one film cut the story down to a very basic plot, making it a classic “coming of age” tale about a young protagonist searching for his place in the world. That’s a pretty generic story, though the owls are new. Additionally, the Pure Ones are enslaving other owls to “mine” for a strange rock that traps owls in a force field. Weird and far-fetched, dark and a bit confusing, this “evil plot” feels out of place in an ancient epic. 

While the plot teeters, the message soars. Good and evil are clearly defined. The Guardians live by a code, ready to “arise from the mist to defend the weak and vanquish the evil.” The Pure Ones believe that the strong must rule the week, while the Guardians fight to protect the weak. 

Soren is an owl that flies by faith and not by sight. He sets out on a journey to find the Guardians, without proof that they exist. “Words were the only proof I’ve ever had that the Guardians were real, and still I believed,” he says when he meets them. Not the average movie message, but a refreshing one. 

Another great message comes from Soren’s hero, a Guardian named Ezylryb (Geoffrey Rush) who saved the owl kingdom long ago. Ezylryb tells him that a hero is someone who merely does what is right, again and again. 

“Legend” stars the vocal talents of Helen Mirren, Rush, Hugo Weaving, Sturgess, Kwanten and Emily Barclay, a cast that delivers. Even some of the minor characters that serve simply as comic relief are brilliantly animated with vocals to match. 

Given the beauty, the youth-oriented story, the strong cast, generally solid script and good morals, I’d still recommend that parents use discretion before taking their kids. This is a Zach Snyder film, and the violence, though stylized, is still pretty strong. Owls swoop in for assassin-style killings, or viciously battle in mid-air with steel-plated talons and daggers.

That aside, it’s a great film for kids and adults alike. And in an age of relativism when the lines between right and wrong are blurred, it’s nice to see a movie that clearly draws the line.