‘Whatever’ Doesn’t Work: An Email from God to Woody Allen

by Noel Anenberg

From: God<god@heaven.org>
Date: Sat, 4 Jul 2009 07:03:37 -0700 (PDT)
 
To: Woody<woody.allen@mischugana.com>
 
Subject: Your latest verkaktah film.
 
Dear Woody,
 
Would it kill you to pick up the phone and call your father once in a while?  That’s what happens with kids they get to smart for their own good and think they don’t need me.

And now, you come out with this “Whatever Works” film. What, you think that shemdrick Larry David who plays that louse Yellnikoff can out match me with a formula? Never happen! I created formulas. In one of his rants he tried to pull a fast one on the audience about Job. Yellnikoff whined that all that Job got for his piousness was suffering. So, why suffer? Right? Wrong. I was teaching Job how to be patient! Something you, Yellnikoff, and apparently that David character have never learned. (more…)

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Posted Jul 8th 2009 at 5:02 am in Entertainment, Featured Story, Religion | 78 Comments