The 2010 presidential election tome “Game Change” recalled the battle between Sens. John McCain and Barack Obama for the Oval Office.

The HBO movie version is all about McCain’s Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin. And, if this early peek is any indication, conservatives can expect a feature-length assault on the Tea Party darling.

The first full trailer for the movie, debuting March 10 on HBO, backloads the Palin bashing. We get a respectful treatment of Sen. McCain (ably reproduced by Ed Harris) and Woody Harrelson playing McCain’s campaign chair Steve Schmidt. Then we meet Sarah, and right away it’s clear that actress Julianne Moore hasn’t captured Palin’s charisma or personal pluck.

Heck, even Tina Fey’s excoriating impression of the self-described Hockey Mom had more clarity.

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Director Oliver Stone’s “Natural Born Killers” is aging as badly as the Aussie-fied mullet Robert Downey Jr. sports in the 1994 media satire.

Loud, brash and in your face, this collage of film stocks, styles and sensibilities made some critics squeal with delight during its 1994 release. Call that a chance to hop on the hip bandwagon, but looking back it’s clear “Killers” marked the start of Stone’s slow slide toward mediocrity.

“Killers” follows the infamous Mickey and Mallory (Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis) as they morph from amoral killers to media darlings. The two start out as lovebirds eager to taunt and terrorize the innocent, always leaving one person alive to spread their legend. They aren’t the most well thought out criminals, and before long they’re behind bars for their atrocities.

Even violent criminals can pick up celebrity cache if they play the media just right.

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Stop us if you’ve heard this movie synopsis before.

A crooked L.A. cop is his own worst enemy, treating suspects like convicted criminals and drinking himself into a near-daily stupor. Oh, and he stumbles from one woman’s bed to the next, never lingering long enough to leave so much as an indentation on their mattresses.

Woody Harrelson turns every cop cliché on its ear in the blistering new drama “Rampart.” But as good as Harrelson is, and he’s certainly worthy of Best Actor buzz, it doesn’t make the film’s unrelentingly dour tone any easier to swallow. Seeing the worst of humanity in crisp police blues is a potent experience until we sense the film has little interest in sharing anything else about the human condition.

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It’s Halloween, and that means it’s time to trick-or-treat or attend costume parties or seek out a local haunted house.  But for me, it’s hard to find a better haunted house than my plasma TV.

I was a bit of a fraidy-cat when I was a kid.  I used to sleepwalk after seeing scary movies, or if that didn’t happen, I would awake-walk into my parents’ room for a hug from Mom.   In order to confront that embarrassing—if amusing—childhood demon, I became a bit of a horror buff.  Hopefully my pain is your gain.

Five Movies to Watch This Halloween

“Return of the Living Dead” (1985)
In this “cult classic,” a group of punk rock-loving teens venture out to pick up a friend from his job at a medical supply shop in Louisville, Kentucky.  When a foreman opens up a military drum that was accidentally sent to the shop—which, oh-by-the-way has an UNDEAD BODY IN IT!!—all zombie-hell breaks loose.

The film is genuinely funny, has a couple of good scares, and a rockin’ soundtrack, but it also injected life into the genre because all the zombies run (fast!) and most of them talk.  Like this one:

Doesn’t she look familiar?  Check out this zombie from “The Walking Dead.”

The B-plot, featuring an Army Colonel on a mysterious, tedious, yet seemingly extremely important mission, is tied up brilliantly in the frightening, apocalyptic conclusion.

But what really puts this film over the top is that it features the best zombie of all time, Tarman.  Gruesome, evil, and with just the right amount of camp, the zombie that first exclaimed “BRRAAAAAIIIIINNNNSS!!” before chowing down on the cerebral cortex of some young punk deserves a place in cinematic lore. (more…)

In many ways “Friends with Benefits” is akin to a reboot of “No Strings Attached,” which came out just a few months ago, and that’s good news for conservative moviegoers.  Like “No Stings,” “FWB,” which stars the magnetic Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, ultimately arrives at the conclusion that sexual relationships are apt to get very complicated very quickly and have the tendency to materialize into love.  Or tears.

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However, this rule doesn’t really apply when it comes to gay men.  A greater percentage of male/male relationships (compared to male/female or female/female) can be purely sexual without any “strings attached,” and, to the filmmakers’ credit, that nuance is not lost in “Friends with Benefits.”  Woody Harrelson, who is very funny as an over-the-top gay character, offers this wisdom.  But the ideas that “monogamy is against our nature” and casual sex comes with negligible emotional and physical baggage–particularly when there’s a woman in the equation–has been roundly rebuked in recent years and Hollywood romantic comedies deserve a lot of the credit.

There are even a few jokes that specifically target liberals: Kunis refers to hybrid cars and local/organic/sustainable food as “bullshit” on separate occasions and Harrelson says that “no one wants to fuck Obama” because his ears are too big.  For years romantic comedies have been a haven for conservative moviegoers because they tend to glorify monogamy as opposed to loveless sex.  But now they’re also subjecting liberals to the types of barbs right-of-center folk have endured for decades!? Could Hollywood finally be turning a corner?  With the advent of new media, conservatives finally have had a megaphone to complain about these digs that typically only go in one direction (ours).  Maybe it’s having an effect! (more…)

(As with all Sucker Punch Squad reviews, what follows is a review of the script, not the final film – which I’ve not yet seen.)

Despite their insistence that Americans “get over” 9/11 even though we’re still at war with Islamic fundamentalists, the Left refuses to get over the Bush administration and the war in Iraq that we’ve already won. The Hollywood Left, with their “Bush lied, people died,” bumper-sticker brain capacity, are especially determined to keep flogging that dead horse long after American audiences have proven that they reject such defeatist, morally inverted propaganda.

And so if you think a new movie about the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln might make a gripping historical thriller and be refreshingly free of Hollywood lectures about the ill-named War on Terror, you’d be wrong on both counts.

Robert Redford recently unveiled his period piece The Conspirator at the Toronto International Film Festival. It begins with the assassination of Lincoln and centers on one apparent conspirator, Mary Surratt, on trial for providing gunman John Wilkes Booth and his accomplices (including her son) with a location to plot their conspiracy (her boardinghouse) and with other assistance. Mary, who “kept the nest that hatched the egg,” as Andrew Johnson put it, ended up being the first woman ever executed by the U.S. government.

But strangely – or maybe predictably, if you’re as cynical about Hollywood as I am – one figure looms as a more insistent presence in Redford’s courtroom drama than Surratt, Booth or Lincoln: President George W. Bush. (more…)

With JFK, a dizzying collection of conflicting and oftentimes ridiculous ideas and conspiracy theories surrounding JFK’s assassination, Oliver Stone  yanked on his trunks and took a nice swim in controversial waters. It was quite a high-wire act, a three hour movie that careens from idea to idea, never stopping for a break. Somehow the movie entertains, against all rational and reasonable expectations, and if nothing else, we owe Stone a debt of gratitude for making that Kevin Bacon game just a little bit easier.

Stone returned to the familiar territory of Vietnam with 1993’s “Heaven and Earth,” and the world said, “eh.” Claiming that film wore him out physically, mentally, and psychologically, he went looking for a more conventional movie to direct, and wound up with Quentin Tarantino’s script “Natural Born Killers.” He was going to make a popcorn movie. We should have known he was just messing with us. After all,  he was mentally and psychologically deranged way before 1993.

Unless Stone’s definition of a conventional, crowd-pleasing movie is a psychedelic art film with a flimsy story and unlikable characters, the only explanation for Stone’s claim is that he was lying. Still on a controversy high from JFK, Stone, slapped footage of OJ and the Menendez Brothers on the end of the movie, and helped Warner Bros. market the movie as a comment on America and the media’s obsession with celebrity and sensationalism. Ironically, if he’d stuck with Tarantino’s script, it would have been a stronger comment on all of the above, and it probably would have been a fun time at the movies. (more…)

The real fun of the Oscars isn’t the cut-throat competition for the little gold naked man but guessing who will make the biggest idiot of himself. 

The Academy Awards show has a fine tradition of pampered celebrities popping off with something stupid when they hit the stage.  It must be something about TV cameras and the opportunity to make damn fools of themselves before tens of millions of people around the world that the Hollywoodoids find irresistible.  Notice how you never hear any fallout from the “technical awards” ceremony?  You know, the non televised ceremony recognizing the boring technological stuff that actually makes movies possible that is usually held at the Beverly Hills Elks Lodge with hosts Steve Guttenberg, Charo and/or one of the lesser Sweathogs.

Some of the past magic moments are legendary.  Remember back in 1993, when Tim Robbins and his then-gal pal, tranny vomit insanity enthusiast Susan Sarandon, harangued the crowd about the detention of Haitian refugees?  Of course, right after that these stars led the way by opening up the grounds of their mansion to these huddled Haitian masses.

Roberto Benigni engaged in memorably tiresome antics after winning “Best Foreign Language Film of 1997” for the Worst Film of All Time, the insanely appalling Life Is Beautiful.  Life has certainly aged well, and Benigni’s shtick has only gotten fresher, contributing to the runaway freight train of success that his career has become since then. (more…)

We debated whether to rank “The Messenger” as “abhorrent,” but there are some lightly positive things about it. The more we thought about this movie after seeing it, however, the more the bad content in it stood out and annoyed us. 

Basically, the movie is about a sergeant wounded in the Iraq War who gets assigned to notify the next of kin of recently killed soldiers. Staff Sgt. Will Montgomery, played by Ben Foster in a star-making performance, is assigned to fellow officer Tony Stone, played by Woody Harrelson (also excellent), a recovering alcoholic who has never really seen action. Cynically, with a touch of sarcastic humor, Tony tries to show Will the ins and outs of performing this onerous duty. Even so, both are surprised by some of the reactions they get. One father angrily spits at Will when Will gives him the news about his son’s death.  (more…)

Earlier this year, I rented and re-watched the entire series run of Cheers. Towards the end of the series, the hayseed junior bartender Woody Boyd (Woody Harrelson) decides to run for city council. He is encouraged in this endeavor by psychiatrist Fraser Crane (Kelsey Grammer), the bar’s resident elite, who acts as Woody’s campaign manager.

Fraser masterminds Woody’s campaign as a social experiment: He is convinced that anyone, even a bumpkin, can get elected, simply by spouting vague cliches. His advice to Woody? Don’t be specific on the campaign trail – just repeat empty slogans like “change.”

When I saw this, I burst out laughing – perhaps this is where Axelrod & Co. received their inspiration for Barack Obama’s 2008 campaign theme, I surmised. (more…)

There are some filmmakers whom movie fans turn to for serious, introspective fare, like Oliver Stone or Lasse Hallstrom. Others are counted on as masters of the fantastic, like Steven Spielberg or Peter Jackson. And for comedy these days, you can’t beat Judd Apatow. 

But if you just wanna see stuff blow up on an epic scale and watch the world fall apart in a good old-fashioned disaster movie, then check out nearly any Roland Emmerich film: “Independence Day,” “Godzilla,” “The Day After Tomorrow” and “10,000 B.C.” provide hours of jaw-dropping action to go with hilariously poor logic in plotting and laughably bad dialogue. Yet they are often undeniably entertaining despite their faults, and with his new film “2012,” Emmerich has fashioned his biggest, craziest cinematic opus yet.  (more…)