What really upset me about Meyers, and all progressive “comedians,” is that their kid-glove treatment of Obama isn’t just because they have a condescending view of him– that he can’t take it. If you listen to the rest of his speech, Meyers is a Racer– an individual who sees race and racism where it is irrelevant or not present at all– so, since he attributes virtually all political motivation to race, he avoids offending Obama because he thinks that, as a black man, Obama can’t handle a roasting.  Note how his Republican targets don’t include Allen West or Herman Cain; Meyers the Racer only goes after whites because he thinks that only they have the ability to withstand jokes at their expense.

Now, to give Meyers credit, the jokes he made onstage weren’t the worst jokes he came up with. Yes, that’s right; we’ve “Breitbarted” him with a hidden camera video sent to us by an anonymous celebrity journalist citizen journalist. We’re currently working on digitally doctoring all cuts in the video so that it looks like one continuous take without any selective editing (the lifeblood of all content at the Bigs), but before that’s ready, here are some highlights of the “jokes” Meyers almost used onstage:

• So, have you heard about those Republicans? Yeah, I hate them and I think they’re stupid.
• The funniest thing about Obama is how SO MANY people don’t get how cool and smart and physically attractive he is.
• Q: Why did the blonde get confused by an ordinary household object? A: Cuz she was a Republican. And Republicans are stupid.
• “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Republicans.” “Republicans who?” “Republicans sure are stupid and evil.”
• So, a Republican walks into a bar, and I get super upset.
• A black man, a Hispanic, and a Jew enter a bar. They all say in turn, “Voting Republican would make us traitors to our races!”
• So, what’s the deal with the Tea Party? Is it racist, or is it SUPER racist?

• So Obama walks into a bar, and NOT EVERYONE pulls out their kneepads and mouthwash. CRAZY, right?
• Republicans believe in global warming so little, they recently caused a record number of deaths with tornadoes.
• What did the Republican say to the other Republican? “Let’s go oppress the brown and poor people!”
• A horse walks into a bar; the bartender says “Why the long face?” The horse responds, “Because Republicans still exist in this world.”
• Q: What’s worse than Donald Trump? A: The Holocaust. …Maybe.
• I would so love to call Herman Cain an Uncle Tom, but mentioning him invalidates my joke about the Tea Party’s whiteness.
• None of you in the audience (nor I myself) have read the details of Ryan’s budget, but what’s the deal with him plotting to murder senior citizens?
• [talking to self] Man, I’m gonna kill out there. Just imagine the hilarity these people could have experienced if I got to play President Kerry for the past six years on SNL.
• What do you get when you cross Almighty God with a sexy supermodel? Barack Obama.
• A dyslexic man walks into a bar, but his learning disability doesn’t prevent him from righteous hatred of Donald Trump.
• How do you stop a black person from drowning? Vote Republicans out of office.
• Chuck Norris walks into a bar. He associates himself politically with Republicans, so wouldn’t it be great to roundhouse kick him?
• The Heritage Foundation made this prediction about Obama’s budget. DO NOT TRUST THEM. REPORT SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR.
• Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven would vote for Sarah Palin in a general election.
• What’s the difference between a fascist, eugenicist police state and Paul Ryan’s budget? Nothing!
• What did the organized laborer say to the other organized laborer? “I’m being starved to death by James O’Keefe!”
• What’d Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? “I’m sure glad Obama’s using the power of his Presidency to enforce better fuel economy standards.”
• A reasonable, educated man walks into a bar, and he opines on the greatness of Barack Obama’s leadership.
• What do you call a black man serving as the leader of the free world? A victim of racism.
• How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? Like a bajillion, cuz they’re SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO stupid.
• What’s more racist than wanting to vote for Donald Trump? Institutionalized slavery. …Maybe.
• Fox News only hires women for their looks. [at this point, a self-aware person in the room pipes up: "Um do we really have a leg to stand on, saying that when you're the head writer for SNL? I mean, Casey Wilson was slightly overweight and was fired after 1 season, and Tina Fey had to lose about 35 pounds before Lorne would let her become a performer."] Hmm… No, I think I’ll still run with that one.
• The only thing more beautiful and enlightened and charismatic and Presidential than Barack Obama is Michelle Obama.
• A blond, a brunette, & a redhead got together and disfigured Michelle Bachmann’s face with acid, and it was awesome.
• Trump is running for President as a joke, TOTALLY unlike how I’m branding myself as a legit comedic news commentator.
• Everything that’s wrong and unjust in this world is embodied by Ginni Thomas leaving a voice mail.
• Mr. President, look at your hair. If it gets any whiter– OH MY GAWD IT’S WHITE LIKE THE TEA PARTY WHICH IS RACIST AND WHITE.
• What did Donald Trump say to his minority employees? Now that I’m running against Obama, I hate you, and I’m full of prejudice.
• A blonde walks into a voting booth and votes for a Democrat, because she’s so stupid she couldn’t vote for the right party that she’s been brainwashed to support.
• Hey guys, hey guys. I bet Republicans all have Zunes instead of iPods, cuz they don’t keep up with trends like us.
• Andrew Breitbart is crazy. That’s a true and funny joke because I’m a licensed psychologist.
• Obama banned a San Francisco reporter from his press pool for taking a smartphone video of anti-war protestors? Psh! That’s nowhere as funny or relevant as the New York Time’s paywall!
• [preparing his opening] I assure that no matter how harsh the jokes, they’re all about people who aren’t actually controlling our government.
• At MSNBC parties, Obama makes Kool-Aid and everyone drinks it. However, I don’t drink it– I freaking GUZZLE that stuff.
• What’s racist, sexist, and won’t ever get a smidgen of empathy or respect from me? A Republican.
• Who’s a Birther? Donald Trump. Who else? All of the GOP. Who else? Fox News. Who else? The Tea Party. I AM SO FUNNY.
• [And finally...] Take my dignity… please.

Ed. Note: For the humor-impaired, this post is a completely made up piece of fiction. I now return you to your joylessness. — JN

—–

Seth Meyers didn’t exactly skewer Barack Obama at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, unless, of course, you count suggesting that if his hair gets any whiter, the Tea Party will support it. Wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, Ginnie Thomas, along with James O’Keefe, took more sharply edged barbs. (Full speech here)

“Side-note: I actually met James O’Keefe last night. At least, I think it was James O’Keefe. It may have just been a regular pimp who hated organized labor.”

“Mr. President, look at your hair. If your hair gets any whiter the tea party is going to endorse it. Ooooh, I’m going to get an angry voicemail from Ginni Thomas in 19 years.”

Speaking to “Fox and Friends” the morning after the gala, however, the Republican presidential candidate hopeful fought back against the blitz that had left him at a loss for words the night before.

He admitted that he had not expected to be attacked in such an unrelenting manner.

“Well, I really understood what I was getting into — I didn’t know that I’d be virtually the sole focus,” he said, adding, “I had no idea it would be to that extent, where you know, it was just joke after joke after joke. It was almost like, is there anyone else they could talk about?”

But then, perhaps Meyers was simply getting a jump on his 2012 campaign donations in a unique manner with a sort of  in-kind contribution, one that also lets him skirt the maximum campaign donation limits he reached with his primary and general election giving to Obama in 2008. Obama is said to not take criticism very well. That the correspondents’ association booked one of Obama’s biggest fans and donors for the event suggests the press was intent on giving Obama the same pass we’ve now become accustomed to them doing every chance they get.

MEYERS, SETH NEW YORK, NY 10019 SETH MEYERS/WRITER

OBAMA, BARACK  VIA OBAMA FOR AMERICA

01/09/2008 1000.00 28930647424

02/17/2008 500.00 28930952641

06/03/2008 800.00 28991596185

09/03/2008 2300.00 28933864432

While conservative talk radio personalities are calling Obama out on this egregious reversal of a central campaign promise, it’s refreshing to see less political, Hollywood personalities raising their voices over these taxes, and other the President has already put into effect, as well. Through such voices, it’s becoming readily apparent that Obama’s taxes are impacting Americans from all socio-economic classes as I type.

One such Hollywood personality is Snooki, of “Jersey Shore” fame, who has been very vocal about the 10% tax Obama conveniently tucked into the massive healthcare overhaul he signed into law earlier this year. During Jersey Shore’s season two premiere, Snooki said: “I don’t go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning.” How refreshing to finally see someone who won’t mince works, and who just comes out and says Obama did it.

That’s right: Obama did it.

For the record, Snooki is the first to admit that she doesn’t “really know a lot about politics.” Therefore, her criticism of the tanning tax is not the outworking of Republican vs. Democrat tendencies, but rather is based on the simple fact that she believes it’s ridiculous that Obama hid a 10% tax on tanning bed visits in the healthcare legislation.

What makes all this even better is that Obama hates to be called out. (Which is why he’s always using cabinet members, Senators, members of Congress, or one of a gazillion “czars” to do his dirty work, so that there’s always someone he can’t point his finger toward if the public gets wise.) And this explains why he took time out in his recent appearance on “The View” to say he doesn’t even know who Snooki is. (The problem with this claim is that Obama mentioned Snooki by name during the White House Correspondents’ dinner on May 2, 2010.)

This is just how I remember the playground bully acting at the elementary school I attended as a kid. When my friend Brian finally called his bluff and word spread through the classrooms that the bully might not be as tough as he acted, the bully only laughed nervously said: “I don’t even know who Brian is.” But we knew he was lying at that point, because the bully had been to Brian’s house for basketball.

Obama’s lying too. And as with the bully on that playground so many years ago, Obama’s hold on us is quickly vanishing.

METRO WEEKLY: Do you ever worry about stepping out of bounds, about doing a joke that’s gone too far?

SYKES:I don’t worry about it. My barometer is that I don’t want to be mean spirited – just to attack someone for the sake of doing it. If you started it, I have a right to go after you. If you did something, I can go after you. But I want it to be about what you did and not just a personal attack or something.

MW: Which is where Rush Limbaugh comes in. You leveled several vicious – and I would agree in his case completely earned – jokes in his direction at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. You got some flak in the press for it. Looking back, do you regret saying those things about Limbaugh?

SYKES: Not at all.

What offends me isn’t Sykes’ tasteless can’t-lose-in-a-roomful-of-liberals attacks on Limbaugh, it’s what a gutless coward she turned out to be. Here you have a gay woman just a few feet from the Most Powerful Anti-Gay Marriage Man On The Planet and she lacked the sand to bring the issue up even once.

But this is old news.

And so is her predictable lack of regret.

Her cowardice, however, extends to this interview:

MW: It’s no secret you love the current president.

SYKES: [Warmly.] Yes.

MW: There’s been a lot of criticism leveled at the Obama administration for not moving quickly enough on gay issues. What’s your take?

SYKES: I think the criticism is justified. However, he has a lot on his plate right now and can’t solve everything [at once]. He hasn’t been in office a year yet. I say just give him some time. Of course, we should be vocal and point out and say, “When is it our turn?” But let’s not be too critical and do anything that moves us backwards.

Earth to Wanda: It’s not that President Obama has a lot on his plate right now — it’s that he opposes same-sex marriage. His plate could be as empty as the U.S. Treasury and it wouldn’t be “your turn.”

The interviewer for this self-described “GLBT Newsmagazine” doesn’t bother to challenge Sykes on this point and then Sykes’s hilariously focuses on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in order to dance around the President’s position entirely. I guess that like a Vietnam War protester acknowledging the Cambodian Holocaust, a declarative statement regarding Obama’s opposition to same-sex marriage is too psychologically confusing and painful.

Also worthy of note is Sykes’ “barometer” which is so dishonest she refuses to concede that her comments regarding Limbaugh were “mean-spirited” or even a “personal attack.” This highlights an increasingly desperate tactic we’re seeing from the Left as public support craters for their transformative agenda. The concept is simple: Label something obviously wrong as right with such matter-of-fact, unblinking confidence people start to second guess themselves.

Hopefully this tactic has been permanently exposed and dealt a considerable setback with the blowback towards Democrats and the media (but I repeat myself) after their launching of unprecedented and unforgivable attacks on community organizers everyday citizens speaking out in townhall meetings…. Citizens, I might add, with the stones to do what Sykes won’t: Speak a little truth to power.

The first rule of getting out of a hole you have dug yourself into is to stop digging.  But at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner Saturday, they handed out shovels at the door.

Let’s review the state of American journalism.  Newspapers are teetering on the edge of collapse, with a savvy investor sooner scooping up a handful of Chrysler common stock then pumping cash into the Boston Globe.  The New York Times’ stock is so toxic it can only be stored inside the Yucca Mountain repository, and I can’t drive by the Los Angeles Times building without some laid-off lifestyle columnist offering to wash my windshield for a buck.  Some newspapers have gone entirely on-line, making them not even newspapers at all. 

How about the traditional networks?  I’m not even sure that NBC has news anymore.  The audience for the CBS Evening News is getting so wizened that a recent survey revealed that the majority of its elderly viewers consider Murder, She Wrote reruns ‘too edgy.”  And their news department had the most efficient business model too – why pay to gather real news when you can just make it up?  By the way, was that Dan Rather I saw ranting on one of those weird networks at the far end of the cable box, between the channel running 24-hour a day Hummel figurine sales and the one devoted to large and loving it women?    

Now, if I remember correctly, about 53% of voters voted for the President.  Well, there’s no disputing that American journalism serves that chunk of the audience.  Their fawning subservience to those in presently in power is even starting to creep out President Obama.  “Most of you covered me; all of you voted for me,” he told his audience of tingle-legged supplicants.  The audience seemed to miss the point, which is that they have abandoned their cherished no-holds barred objectivity and that he now owns them body and soul.  Maybe I misunderstood from the assembled journalists’ delight, but isn’t that what the hip kids today call a “dis?”  

So, what about the other 47% who didn’t vote for this president?  With the Internet and cable undercutting newspapers and network news as business models, one might think that trying to appeal to this massive potential audience might pay dividends.  Apparently, one would be wrong.

In an example of outside the envelope thinking, America’s journalists have decided that the smart move to save their disintegrating industry is not to simply ignore this half of the populace but to actively insult it.  Guest comic Wanda Sykes set the tone by expressing her heartfelt desire that Rush Limbaugh’s kidney’s fail.  I’m no marketing genius, but I’m not sure that it’s smart to publicly wish for the death of the spokesman for a good portion of your potential consumers.  Sometimes it’s just best to keep the thinking inside the envelope.

Alienating potential customers is not proving to be an awesome strategy.  But instead of, say, not insulting them anymore, the journalism establishment is trying a new tactic.  It’s going to keep insulting its more conservative customers but tell these customers that it is in fact not insulting them and that they are stupid for believing they are being insulted. 

For example, I cancelled the Los Angeles Times years ago, and every time some boiler room flunky would call me to re-subscribe I would patiently explain that I didn’t particularly want to pay for regurgitated leftism when I could just turn on MSNBC for free.  I must not have been the only one because I started getting a scripted response that the caller would read off of a sheet that was probably labeled “Right Wing Idiot Spiel.”   I was told that I was wrong and that the Times provides and respects “a wide range of differing views.”  That’s true – it provides and respects the whole range of views from old fashioned New Deal liberal all the way to neo-Trotskyite communist. 

The Times recently had another marketing brainstorm.  Not enough people were buying the paper so they raised the newsstand price.  I like that – the Times not only opposes capitalism but engages in passive resistance to its most basic laws.

The traditional news media needs to put aside their shovels and stop digging.  But they won’t.   They don’t even realize what kind of hole they are in.  I just hope they keep those shovels handy - they’ll need them for their next job.

Anyway, it appears the press is making much of Wanda Sykes – which is hilarious, because she performed the way you’d expect her to perform. And that makes me think that these reports of outrage were written before the outrage actually registered. I mean – the room was packed with reporters, and Sykes made jokes about conservatives. The stories about angry conservatives are like a model airplane kit – all the parts were there, just glue them together.

But I can’t see much to get angry about. I mean, if there’s ever been a more predictable Saturday night, I’ve yet to hear about it.

Palin joke? Check.

Rush Limbaugh joke? Check.

Steer clear of any gay stuff about marriage and the military? From what Breitbart told me over the phone, check.

Now, for a gay comic like Wanda, you’d think that last part might have been a priority for teasing, but come on: it’s just bad taste to actually make a joke that might stick, especially if the target is your Messiah.

So instead, Wanda did what Wanda was supposed to do – tell jokes that meet the assumptions of those folks in the room. But it’s a real shame that the one joke that’s getting all the play wasn’t even hers. Remember, Bill Maher had wished Rush dead on his show over a year ago.

She needs to steal from better comedians.

Tonight’s guests: the delightful Kevin Godlington, the charming Sandra Smith, and Clayton Morris.

At the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, Ms. Sykes decided to lob verbal grenades at Rush Limbaugh. The leftist ideological bigots that make up much of the mainstream media will offer pathetic and predictable defenses. Inevitable choruses of “she was just making jokes,” and “Rush can dish it out, but he can’t take it” will try to drown out the truth.

This cannot be allowed to happen.

I personally have never had any major objections to Wanda Sykes. I find her humor tasteless, but nothing more. Her skit about tying the feet of black quarterbacks so they would stop running around may have been the death knell for the once brilliant program “Inside the NFL,” but by then the show was already in free fall.

Yet suppose I were to remark that as punishment for her poor humor and caustic comments, she should be waterboarded or hung from the nearest tree. I would be branded a racist, a sexist, and a bigot. I might be arrested and charged with plotting a hate crime. The reason for this is because there is nothing funny or humorous about killing somebody.

Yet liberals fail to respect this view.

Jon Stewart and other comedians have referred to George W. Bush as a war criminal. Leftist radio personalities joke about raping Laura Bush and Condoleezza Rice. “Abort Sarah Palin” t-shirts are trendy among Democrats on college campuses. Miss California Carrie Prejean was verbally and emotionally violated by Perez Hilton, who feels that spreading ideological bigotry is the way to spread tolerance of his own lifestyle.

Now Rush Limbaugh is being Garofaloed by Wanda Sykes.

Her “comedy routine” was motivated by the same factor that got Jon Stewart to lash out. Any criticism of President Barack Obama will be met with large heapings of liberal abuse. In fact, if either Sykes or Stewart were attacking a Palestinian, the response would be mischaracterized as “disproportionate.”

Rush Limbaugh was asked whether or not he wanted Barack Obama to fail. Limbaugh very clearly stated that if Barack Obama were to try and enact policies that would be bad for the country, then the attempt to enact those policies should fail.

In an adult and reasonable world, that is called “disagreeing” with somebody.

Wanda Sykes went on television and made a ludicrous comment. “Rush Limbaugh wants Barack Obama to fail. That means he wants America to fail. He wants this country to fail…”

No, it does not mean that at all. Yet what she said after that truly became speech that only a liberal could embrace.

“I hope his kidneys fail.”

Are any liberals going to condemn this remark?

President Obama will not. He was too busy laughing. The media toadies will not. They made sure that Barack Obama found it funny, and then allowed themselves to find it funny.

Ms. Sykes also expressed the heinous notion that Rush was “the 20th Hijacker on 9/11.” She reasoned that his being responsible for the atrocities that murdered 3000 people was due to his “being high on Oxycontin.”

For those curious as to why Ms. Sykes has such rage, I read her Wikipedia page. She was married to a man for eight years. Her marriage failed. There is no joke here. I do not want anybody’s marriage to fail. She then became a lesbian and married a woman. Whatever a person’s views on gay marriage, I do not want that relationship of hers to fail either. She is an outspoken advocate of gay marriage, and very militant about the passage of California Proposition 8, which bans gay marriage.

There we go. Now we know why she despises conservatives.

If the left had an ounce of intellectual honesty, they would admit that Barack Obama and Rush Limbaugh have the exact same position on gay marriage. Barack Obama may not mean it, but the issue is not that he holds beliefs out of political expediency. Giving a prominent liberal a pass for beliefs that are identical to a conservative expressing those beliefs, and then lambasting the conservative, is ideological bigotry.

This is not about issues. It is about leftist hatred.

Leftists hate people who disagree with them. Conservatives cannot be a noble opposition. They are evil, and need to be destroyed.

When conservatives use words like “evil,” and “destroy,” they are referring to Al Qaeda, Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and their ilk.

Liberals see conservatives in this vein. Comparisons of President George W. Bush and Adolf Hitler are as common as they are odious.

Wanda Sykes is a black, female, lesbian, liberal. Rush Limbaugh is a white, male, heterosexual, conservative.  Therefore, his criticism of Barack Obama’s policies are considered hate speech, while her calling Rush a murderer who she wished death upon is considered comedy.

This madness has to stop. Ordinary people have to stop cowering in fear. Hatred is poison, and no minority group should use past injustices as a sledgehammer against innocent victims today. It is not about race, gender, or sexual orientation. It is about basic human decency. So once again, let me explain to the left how human decency works.

I want Barack Obama to personally succeed. I want his marriage to remain strong, and his children to grow up and lead happy lives. I want him to experience intellectual growth, emotional nourishment, physical strength, and medical normalcy.

I also want Barack Obama’s policies to fail if I believe they are bad for America.

His health care idea in its current form is too heavy with government bureaucracy and too light on free enterprise. The idea in its current form needs to fail. If he would work with Republicans on a better plan, that plan may deserve to succeed.

His cap and trade idea has the potential to become a regulatory nightmare that will destroy the American economy. Any plan derived from that idea should fail.

He wants to raise capital gains taxes. This will be a disincentive to invest. This will be a disincentive to take risks. America was founded on the idea of entrepreneurship and risk taking. Raising capital gains taxes is bad for America. I want this policy to fail. If he tries to lower capital gains taxes, I will want this policy to succeed. I do not care where good or bad ideas come from. I care about the actual ideas.

This is why I am a conservative. I have no patience for ideological bigotry.

Some liberals will howl that I am lumping them all in with Wanda Sykes. My response to them is that if they want to be separated from such vile speech, they must unequivocally condemn it. They should howl at Ms. Sykes, not me.

Evil exists when good people do nothing to stop it. Calling somebody a murderer and wishing for their kidneys to fail, even in the context of a joke, is evil. Yet I don’t want Wanda Sykes to die. I don’t want her kidneys to fail. I want her to become a better human being. For now, the world will be a better place if Wanda Sykes has one thing fail…her vocal chords.

When every leftist bully from the executive level to Congresspeople to their parasitic defenders from Hollywood and the media gets laryngitis, the healing can begin.

eric aka the Tygrrrr Express

blacktygrrrr@earthlink.net

http://www.tygrrrrexpress.com

The economy must be worse that the administration is letting on. I saw Warren Buffet and Richard Belzer in the house. Who are they writing for these days? In both the President’s and Wanda’s sets there seemed to be a lack of jokes about the administration. Since I have a few years of experience at stand-up and teaching comedy writing at undisclosed locations I thought might give a review of his work and offer some suggestions.

Tonight I want to speak from the heart. I’m going to speak off the cuff. (Teleprompters rise.) Good evening. Pause for laughter.

I am not a big fan of prop gags but this one worked alright even though he telegraphed the punch line.

I am Barack Obama. Most of you covered me…

It’s always good to introduce yourself. Don’t assume that everybody is informed! If they were you would still be the junior senator from Illinois.

…All of you voted for me…Apologies to the Fox table…

This is a construction I would deem “true story” comedy. No embellishment needed, just the facts as they happened are funny. This was the first point where I noticed the applause was too strong for the joke. Most of them did vote for him.

I would like to welcome you all to the 10-day anniversary of my first 100 days.

Having a healthy ego and a high sense of self worth is important to stand-up.

I do have to say, though, that this is a tough holiday for Rahm Emanuel because he’s not used to saying the word “day” after “mother.” That’s true.

Again just a nice “true story” gag. Then he broke one of the cardinal rules of stand up and politics which is never admit you are just making it up. By saying “That’s true,” it lets the audience know everything else is a lie.

Now Sasha and Malia aren’t here tonight because they’re grounded. You can’t just take Air Force One on a joy ride to Manhattan. I don’t care whose kids you are. We’ve been setting some ground rules here. They’re starting to get a little carried away.

Hey, lay off the kids! If you don’t want right-wing nut jobs like me making fun of them in a few years then don’t use them for public props when it suits your purposes. Besides, making fun of your kids is almost as tricky as props and ethnic jokes. Why not do this as a mother-in-law joke. How about, “Michelle’s mother told us she wanted to take the train up to New York for a day and see the sights. I said, why not just fly? I have to be careful what I say when the Pentagon Liaison is in the room!”

…And he (David Axelrod) said to me the same thing that partners all across America are saying to one another right now: Let’s go to Iowa and make it official.

Gay jokes, really?

Dick Cheney was supposed to be here but he is very busy working on his memoirs, tentatively titled, “How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People.”

This is a good joke, but he fumbled the delivery!

… whirlwind of activity these first hundred days. We’ve enacted a major economic recovery package, we passed a budget, we forged a new path in Iraq, and no President in history has ever named three Commerce Secretaries this quickly.

Not a bad joke but you should have only used two examples in your set up. Remember, set the pattern, reinforce the pattern, and then break the pattern.

… Which reminds me, if Judd Gregg is here; your business cards are ready now.

Not a bad tag, but you fumbled this delivery too.

…Larry Summers asked if he could chair the White House Council on Women and Girls.

Another risky topic for liberal comics, did you hear the groans and small boos from the feminists in the crowd. Barack needs to remember that radical feminist have had their sense of humor surgically removed.

And I do appreciate that Larry is here tonight because it is seven hours past his bedtime.

Weak tag.

Gibbs liked that one.

Weaker tag.

…You know, we (Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama) had been rivals during the campaign, but these days we could not be closer. In fact, the second she got back from Mexico she pulled into a hug and gave me a big kiss.

Would he be making Swine Flu jokes if he really though it was all that big of a danger?

…So I’d like to talk a little bit about what my administration plans to achieve in the next hundred days.

Hey! Hey! This is my bit from blog I wrote a week ago! Somebody in the White House writer’s room is reading Big Hollywood!

During the second hundred days, we will design, build and open a library dedicated to my first hundred days. It’s going to be big, folks. In the next hundred days, I will learn to go off the prompter and Joe Biden will learn to stay on the prompter.

Finally some self-deprecation! Here is my theory on comedy about the Obama administration: Obama, off limits, Biden whipping boy!

I realize that the President didn’t write any of his own material but that is just keeping with his established style.

Hollywood slings around the phrase “speaking truth to power” as if it were cocaine at a Sean Penn movie premiere party.  And they particularly love slinging it around at the time of the White House Correspondents Dinner.

A couple years ago, Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central was the beneficiary of the “speaking truth to power” Hollywood press machine.  He headlined the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner, and laid ‘em in the aisles with brilliant lines like, “Over the last five years, you people were so good-over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn’t want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. … And then you write, Oh, they’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!” 

Yes, when you’re a leftist, spouting leftist Hallmark cards cribbed from Democratic Underground counts as humor.

But at least Colbert said all this to Bush’s face.  It took a peculiar kind of guts, but it took guts.  It wasn’t truly “speaking truth to power” – after all, Bush wasn’t going to send Colbert to the gulag or force him into re-education camp.  But by the watered-down definition of the media, it counted.

Wanda Sykes, by contrast, is the most gutless and feckless performer ever to grace the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Sykes, for those who haven’t seen her stellar work in gems like CondomNation, Brother Bear 2, and Over the Hedge, is a militant lesbian with a grating voice and an obnoxious strut.  She recently proclaimed during the California Prop. 8 debate that “Everybody that knows me personally, they know I’m gay … Now, I gotta get in their face.  I’m proud to be a woman.  I’m proud to be a black woman, and I’m proud to be gay.”

Well, apparently she’s not so proud to be gay.  Because when given the opportunity to make jokes about the nation’s leading proponent of opposite-sex marriage, President Barack Obama, she said precisely nothing.  Instead, she chose to gently stroke his ego with jokes about his pecs, his dog, and his basketball skills.

Meanwhile, she saved her real ire for non-federal or non-active politicians and non-governmental figures like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.  To Obama’s hysterical laughter, she said that she hoped Limbaugh would suffer kidney failure and accused him of being the 20th hijacker.  She said she wanted Sean Hannity waterboarded by Keith Olbermann.  She attacked Dick Cheney, stating that if her child had a choice between getting in a car with Dick Cheney and a car with a stranger, she would tell her child to choose the stranger.

Courageous, to be sure.

But she saved her most despicable gibe for Sarah Palin, who was not attending.  Apparently, Sykes isn’t only a shrinking violet when it comes to her lesbianism – she’s a shrinking violet when it comes to her sex.  Noting Sarah’s absence at the dinner (her husband, Todd, attended), Sykes said that Palin had pulled out at the last minute.  “Somebody should tell her that’s not really how you practice abstinence,” she chided.

This is sexism of the highest order.  Sarah Palin didn’t get knocked up before her marriage – her daughter did.  Why didn’t Sykes blame Todd, who was sitting right there?  Or why didn’t she blame Levi, who knocked up Bristol?  Or why didn’t she blame Bristol?  By focusing on Sarah, she perpetuated the stereotype that the woman is utterly and totally responsible for each and every individual act of the child – a stereotype Sykes would surely reject were she not so blindly hateful of Palin.

The bottom line: both feminism and homosexuality matter less to Sykes than kissing Barack Obama’s butt.  She didn’t utter a single joke about Obama’s out of control spending.  Not one joke about his teleprompter. Not one joke about his visit with Chavez, his messages to Iran, his Cinco De Mayo screwup, his mastery of the Austrian language, his “world without nuclear weapons,” his spreading the wealth around, his ownership of the car companies, his tax-cheat employees.

And most of all, not a single joke about Dan Choi, the first gay Arabic linguist fired by Barack Obama under the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.  Not a single joke about Obama’s interracially married parents and his refusal to stump for homosexual marriage.  Sykes pledged to “get in their face” about gay marriage, but refused to get in the face of the most powerful man on earth about it.  Instead, she chose to go after Rush Limbaugh and oxycontin – a choice for which she will surely be praised by the leftist media.

In certain times, such posturing buffoonery would have been ripped as “Uncle Tomming.”  Imagine Richard Pryor speaking at a White House Correspondents Dinner for JFK and failing to mention the civil rights movement, instead choosing to focus on Jackie Kennedy’s hairdo and JFK’s winning smile.

Nobody has the obligation to “speak truth to power” when given the opportunity.  Sometimes it’s okay just to be funny.  But if one is given the opportunity to speak truth to power, sees him/herself as a champion of “speaking truth to power,” and instead chooses to spend the time excoriating the power’s opposition, that would be sycophantic stupidity of the worst kind.

That would be Wanda Sykes.