People have been saying to me for months, “Joe, where’s Tío Chano?” Referring, of course, to my Uncle Luciano.

Well, the short answer is, I didn’t know. For as long as I have known Tío Chano, that is to say, for my entire life, Tío Chano has disappeared for months at a time. Nobody in the family knows where he goes, and we have learned not to ask.

At the end of August 2009 Tío Chano asked me for a ride to LAX. I dropped him off at the Tom Bradley International Terminal at 2:30 AM on August 30th. We heard nothing from him until less than a week ago. (more…)

We’ve all heard the old saying “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Now that doesn’t  mean crucifixions, world domination, and little boy rump humping. That simply means live as the locals do. Blend in. We as Americans are notorious for doing exactly the opposite. And definitely we should all collectively do our best to be decent travelers so we don’t continue to come off as obnoxious boobs to the rest of the world already looking for a reason to hate us. I’ve been that boob before, and I hereby apologize to the entire world. I have learned my lesson.

But, hate us? Really. Then why do people cross oceans on tiny little boats, risking their lives in the process, to get to our horrible country? Why do people from all over the world come to us for serious health care when it really hits the fan? Why is it that someone can come to our country, not even speak the language, and in a few years become wealthy? Let me help you Libbies out here: Opportunity, Freedom, Capitalism, Freedom of Religion, Freedom of Speech (well sort of), Pride, Patriotism, and Water Pressure. We have been the beacon of hope around the world for over 230 years. We are still the most successful and wealthy country the Earth has ever known. We share our wealth more than an other nation on Earth. And we have shed more blood than any other country to give others the chance at the same freedoms we enjoy. So all I can say is… Jealous much? (more…)