There`s nothing I love more than female celebrities helping out troubled beasts or endangered species. You`ve got Pam Anderson worrying about the polar bears, Doris Day fretting over abandoned cats and dogs – and of course, Sheryl Crow passionately fighting for wild horses currently roaming our country. Apparently, Crow`s mad at the government for trying to remove 25,000 mustangs from the range, in an effort to send them to greener pastures.

I feel her mane.

But as much as I admire all their work protecting those who can`t protect themselves, it makes me wonder: would they do the same thing if they were the ones who became endangered?

I`m talking about women.

Right now, according to new research, more than 24 million Chinese men of marrying age could find themselves without wives in 2020. They are screwed, (figuratively, anyway) and sex-specific abortions are being blamed. The study, which underlines what we`ve known all along, said the nation’s “family-planning policy” has led to rural parents aborting females – because they prefer boys for their greater earning potential, and as caregivers for parents when they get wrinkly. And that`s led to a male-female ratio as high as 130 males for every 100 females, making it not quite as bad as West Hollywood.

So what does this mean?

Well, forget that the most championed women`s right ends up eliminating women – I`m more interested in the outcry from places like NOW.

Or maybe it`s an “incry.”

Whatever the case, I haven`t heard it.

I mean, I know fetus`s aren`t as adorable as kittens, and you can`t ride them into the sunset to the tune of “Every Day is a Winding Road,” but it`s got to creep out even the most ardent feminist – that in the age of feminism, it`s the femme that`s endangered. You can`t march for abortion rights, when there`s no women left to march for it.

But the real loser in all this?

Pandas. None of them are safe now.

Tonight, another fun show.

S.E. Cupp!

Jim Norton!

Amy Holmes!

Roger Stone!

A special edition of Robot Theater!

Me!

You!