After a few weeks in theatres and a couple of reviews that have already posted here on Big Hollywood, you don’t need to read yet another write up of Tim Burton’s “Alice In Wonderland.” If there’s anything worth adding, it would be only that from my point of view Tim Burton’s Tim Burtonny-ness has officially worn itself out: The pale protagonist, the dark, askew production design, the Danny Elfman score, the way the camera speeds forward into or away from close ups. The director is aping himself. He’s not the first, won’t be the last, and that’s not the real problem with “Alice.”

The problem is that the story is wafer thin and not at all engaging. The other problems are that none of the relationships work, Alice has no character development (she enters and exits Wonderland an annoying feminist), and other than Helena Bonham Carter’s Red Queen, not a single character is in the least interesting. About halfway the movie that old “Transformers 2″ feeling crept over me. The one that says, “This is like watching someone else play a video game.”

I never make box-office predictions. Sometimes, not even in my head. Over the years I’ve just been so wrong so often that it’s become a waste of brainpower. For instance, after suffering through the overwhelming punishment that was “Transformers 2,” I was sure it would tank in its second week. Who could recommend such an ordeal? Well, just about everyone. It went on to gross over $800 million worldwide.

Has something changed? (more…)

The two highest-grossing movies in the United States from 2009 were “Avatar” and “Transformers 2.” The special effects and the anticipation before both films helped propel these films to earn hundreds of  millions of dollars. Much of the media coverage about both films (especially “Avatar”) focused on their special effects rather than their stories. With that in mind, one of the unfortunate legacies of 2009 at the movies may be that strong stories and great characters are seen as no match for visual excitement at the box office.

At the end of December 2009, Yahoo compiled a list of the top grossing movies of the year domestically. (Because the list came out in December, “Transformers 2” is featured as the highest grossing movie of the year, rather than “Avatar.”) The Yahoo list featured four sequels, one franchise revival (“Star Trek”), and one James Cameron movie about a planet with blue aliens on it. That latter film, along with “Transformers 2,” will not likely be remembered for its story or its characters, a disappointing realization for moviegoers who want great stories to go along with grand special effects. (more…)

“Life’s a bitch, and then you don’t die.”

What’s frustrating about watching an extremely satisfying B-level horror film like “Daybreakers” is that you wonder why every movie can’t have as simple and effective a story. Here you have this little grinder dumped in theatres during the dog days of January starring a few respected names (Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Sam Neill) but no big stars, and yet it manages to tell its story with more lean, mean and steam than monster hits like “Transformers 2” (which sucked) and “Sherlock Holmes” (which didn’t). When did watching a simple, easy to follow, well-paced story unfold on the big screen become the exception?

“Simple” doesn’t mean dumb, either — or clichéd. It means simple; it means you’re able to repeat the story to someone else in under a minute. Go ahead and try to tell someone the story of “Sherlock Holmes.”  You can’t. It’s too convoluted. The director couldn’t tell you the story. The best he could do is try and explain it. Anyone who’s done any serious amount of screenwriting will tell you that nothing’s harder than simplicity, and yet for all the many millions our top screenwriters make, somewhere along the line…  

What I meant say was, “Daybreakers” is my kind of movie, and not just because there’s all kinds of senseless violence and vampires — though one or the other is usually enough. (more…)

Don’t be surprised by “Avatar’s” box office success. As butt-numbingly dull as it is, compared to ”Transformers 2″ it’s a masterpiece, and Bay’s film made $834 million worldwide.

Doesn’t beef cause Global Warming?

Big Hollywood reviews below the fold: (more…)

Someone call the waaahmbulance: Megan Fox’s starring turn in the movie “Jennifer’s Body” didn’t do as well as she’d hoped and she’s looking for a scapegoat. Naturally, she turns to the unwashed masses in Middle America:

The actress tells The New York Times that her movie “Jennifer’s Body” tanked because “the movie is about a man-eating, cannibalistic lesbian cheerleader, and that pretty much eliminates middle America.”

Actually, Megan, that pretty much eliminates anyone with an ounce of taste. Here’s more on the movie’s plot via IMDB:

Nerdy, reserved bookworm Needy and arrogant, conceited cheerleader Jennifer are best friends, though they share little in common. They share even less in common when Jennifer mysteriously gains an appetite for human blood after a disastrous fire at a local bar. As Needy’s male classmates are steadily killed off in gruesome attacks, the young girl must uncover the truth behind her friend’s transformation and find a way to stop the bloodthirsty rampage before it reaches her own boyfriend Chip.

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My Uncle Luciano (we call him Tío Chano) has been living with us for several months now and I’ve been worried about him. He spends all his time holed up in his room obsessing about politics and the state of the culture. I urged him recently to get out more, maybe see a movie or something. “What movie?” he asked. I answered offhandedly, “I don’t know, something escapist, like ‘Transformers 2.’” I lent him the keys to my car and off he went to the movies.

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As the world watches and waits for the political uprising in Iran to either succeed in toppling the brutal Khomeinist regime or be crushed by it, a movie by the name of The Stoning of Soraya M.  opens in limited release today. Far from being your typical summer fun film fare, Soraya depicts the ugliest, most brutal side of human nature and one woman’s crusade to keep it from being swept under the rug.

Directed by Cyrus Nowrasteh (The Path to 9/11) and written by Nowrasteh and his wife Besy Giffen-Nowrasteh, Soraya is based on the 1995 non-fiction book of the same name by Freidoune Sahebjam. Soraya takes place after the Islamic revolution in Iran and centers around Soraya (played by Mozhan Marnò), a woman whose husband, Ali (played by Navid Negahban), has tired of her after 20 years of marriage and wishes to discard her for a younger woman. Actually, “younger” is an understatement, as Ali lusts after a 14-year-old girl. Soraya knows about Ali’s plans, but won’t agree to a divorce because she knows she will be unable to provide for her two young daughters (the two sons will stay with Ali, of course). Ali must then come up with another scheme for getting rid of his uncooperative wife, and he uses guile, cunning and good old-fashioned blackmail to get the key players in place for what is passed off as a religious cleansing rite. (more…)

To My Obama-Loving Friends:

Please read on, this is fifteen years of experience talking….

You’re excited. Why wouldn’t you be? It’s summertime, it’s Michael Bay, the trailer’s loaded with explosions and hot chicks and mayhem and by gawd you need this – no… you deserve this. You deserve a couple hours in the dark, in the air conditioning, in a place where you’re lifted from the stresses, worries, and hassles of an all-too real world. 

And dammit, you paid good money for this escape, this drug, this promise of both. Hell, crack is cheaper … and lasts longer (from what I hear).  (more…)