**The following contains a ton of spoilers**

The first season of the Showtime series “Homeland” mercifully came to an end last night. I say “mercifully” because, while I will never get the hours I invested in the series back, I will not be subjecting myself to season two.

To recap so far, the series follows CIA agent Carrie Mathison (Claire Danes) tracking recovered U.S. Marine Sgt. Nicholas Brody (Damian Lewis), who she suspects of being a sleeper terrorist who was turned by his captor, al Qaeda commander Abu Nazir (Navid Negahban).

The CIA is also tracking Brody’s former sniper team partner Tom Walker (Chris Chalk), who is also suspected of working for Nazir. Agent Mathison has been placed on administrative leave for removing classified documents from Langley and because her superiors learned she suffers from bipolar disorder, which precludes her from having security clearance.

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Here’s Jon-Smuggy-McSmirk-ObamaButtBoy-Stewart in April of 2009, sanctimoniously accusing his own country of torture:

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Oh, but wait… Even though, according to –wait for it! wait for it! — MSNBC, “waterboarding aided the bin Laden raid,” below is Jon Stewart yesterday celebrating the results of same waterboarding with proclamations about America being back, uhm, baby. Yep, according to Mr. Stewart, America has its “balls” back, but of course neglects to mention (or doesn’t yet know) that we wouldn’t have without a little of what he described and defines as “torture.”

I guess the results of “torture” and the actions of Cheney’s “secret assassination squad” are all good if Obama gets a poll bounce:

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“Saw 3D” begins by showing Dr. Lawrence Gordon (Cary Elwes) crawling down a hallway to escape a trap set by serial killer Jigsaw (Tobin Bell). The trap was a focal point in the original “Saw” and it ultimately forced Gordon to cut off his own foot to escape imprisonment. “Saw 3D,” the seventh movie in the long-running series, shows what ultimately happened to Gordon and also introduces a new group of characters who are forced into torture traps where they must prove that they value their lives. 

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Bobby (Sean Patrick Flannery) is the main victim in this new story. He has successfully built a career out of being a victim of one of Jigsaw’s twisted games. He has written a book  and is conducting a publicity tour talking about how being tortured by Jigsaw turned his life around.  However, there is one problem with his tale of near death at the hands of a serial killer. It isn’t true. Bobby and his hard-working publicity team are selling lies to make a profit.

Having broken the ethical code of one of Jigsaw’s murderous accomplices, Bobby “must” now be forced to re-evaluate his life . Detective Hoffman, one of the people who has carried on Jigsaw’s long and tortuous legacy, has set up a series of traps for Bobby. (Jigsaw himself died several films ago, along with the energy of this series.) In his traps, Bobby must make tough decisions to save the lives of his publicity team. In some situations, he is asked to suffer physically to alleviate the suffering of his contemptible allies. (more…)

[Ed. Note: "Unthinkable" went straight-to-DVD and hits stores tomorrow. Here's a sneak peek so you know better what you're spending your hard-earned money on.]

I’ve only been in “Hollywood” the past few years. My experience is limited to a couple of TV writing credits, serving as the technical advisor for two series, consulting on several projects, and pitching a spec pilot around town. I’ve found a little more success in having two books published: a recently released thriller and a true-crime autobiography of my undercover work in the FBI. But even with my limited experience, I realize what you read in a script is not necessarily what makes it to the big screen. All this to say, I have not seen “Unthinkable” starring Samuel L. Jackson, but I have read a late version of London-born and British-educated Peter Woodward’s script. 

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I always hated it in high school English when the teacher wanted to know the poet’s intent for a particular verse. I never saw any deeper meaning than he wanted the words to rhyme, so I don’t pretend to question why this script was written or produced. The screenplay has a lot of action and will probably stimulate controversy on both sides of the aisle. It asks the question “to what length do we go to obtain information which will potentially save hundreds possibly thousands of lives?” 

Maybe as a caveat before reading any further I should tell you: my son is a Marine; I have no problem with the enhanced interrogation techniques as employed by the Bush administration; there is a lot I would do to save the lives of our servicemen and women who risk their lives daily because our nation asked; I have fired my service weapon in the heat of battle; and have absolutely no issue with defending myself or others who are in grave physical danger.  (more…)

**If you TiVo there are Spoilers**

Who are you and what have you done with Jack Bauer? That’s what I wanted to scream at the pod person who starred on “24” last Monday. When the conservative creators of the show left and liberals took over, I was apprehensive. But by and large, the quality of the program kept up. I snorted, of course, when a bad character was threatened with torture by other bad guys. She was hauled into a medieval chamber filled with pincers, hot pokers and iron maidens. Then she was strapped down, a washcloth was draped over her mouth… and she was water boarded. Oy. Then, a week ago, Jack murdered her in cold blood, not to get information… she’d already been terrified into offering up the info… but just because he felt like it.

What?! 

But this week the writers went too far. Bauer tortures a bad guy horribly… and enjoys it. In the next room a woman can be heard screaming, “No. No. He’s a human being!” Bauer uses pliers and a blow torch. The guy screams horribly but refuses to give up. Bauer steps aside and mutters to himself, “This isn’t working.” Then, realizing that the terrorist (my word, not theirs) has probably swallowed what Bauer needs, he guts him like a fish, plunges his hand into the dying  man’s stomach and retrieves the cell phone pad or whatever the hell it was.  (more…)

From the “Truth is Stranger Than Fiction” files:

Rock bands including Pearl Jam and REM have joined a coalition of musicians to support the US president’s efforts to close the Guantanamo Bay prison.

The National Campaign to Close Guantanamo, which also includes former military officers, launched on Tuesday.

Many of the artists who have signed up are angry that their music was used as an interrogation tool in the jail.

But CIA spokesman George Little said music was used only for security, rather than “punitive purposes”. (more…)

The only surprising thing about hearing that Law & Order was going to take on the Bush administration over “torture” is the realization that Law & Order is still on the air.  This car-wreck of a series has been bouncing around NBC’s schedule since the first Bush administration doing the impossible – making lawyers look even worse.  Thanks, guys.

Law & Order’s mysteries are as unpredictable as where the sun will come up tomorrow morning.  In a typical episode, when the cops arrest a gang member you can safely bet the climatic trial denouement will reveal the real killer to be either the wealthy corporate executive,  the ambitious conservative politician or the hypocritical Christian preacher.  You know, kind of like in real life. (more…)

I’ll try to make this short…last week I wrote about my concerns over the naming of a special federal prosecutor to re-examine the use of Enhanced Interrogation Techniques by the CIA. I have appeared on several radio shows since the article posted here at Big Hollywood and I was pleased to see over weekend former Vice President Dick Cheney say in a more articulate fashion almost every point I raised in the article EXCEPT one. 

Today my point is the LAW. I touched on it briefly in the article but no one seems to be discussing the LAW. Many on the left and maybe even some on the right are applauding the decision by Attorney General Eric Holder to name a special prosecutor. I only have one question: What crimes were committed? Those supporting the decision to name a prosecutor say, “torture.” 

 The federal statute can be found in Title 18 chapter 113C of the Federal Criminal Code and Rules. Section 2340 defines torture. Section 2340A says: (more…)

The crime is complete. Judgment has been passed. The killing stones are in hand. As per the harsh stoning penal code of Iran’s Islamist thugocracy (for however long that lasts) where the crime took place, my stones are not so big as to kill right away, not so small you can’t call them stones. And I’m winding up like Nolan Ryan. Feel free to pick up a stone of your own. But wait for it!

And let me make this perfectly clear, even if they do say Jehovah!

Sentence must be read before being carried out. And unlike Soraya M., the board members of the Asylum of Motion Picture Airheads and Stooges will deserve every rock that’s thrown their way. I also believe that, in light of events in Iran today, the following commentary will stand out in much starker prominence than it did when I first started reporting on them in early March, when Team Oscar first set off for the Unfriendly Skies of Islamist Iran. (more…)

Dear Big Hollywood readers, it gives me great satisfaction to report to you that BH has been out on point not only on compelling film industry issues, which will never be covered in promo rags like Variety and the Hollywood Reporter (but then again, AMPAS and the studios aren’t buying us off), but on many controversial issues being played out in America and the greater world at large as well.

I know this to be true. Being a news junkie myself, I have found time after time as I was reading about a supposedly breaking subject, like ABC’s recent coverage of the targeted LGBT murders in Iraq, that it had already been on display for all to see in Big Hollywood posts for months.

Not to toot my own horn, but…well, okay, I’m tooting my own horn. And those of Andy Breitbart and John Nolte, who have given I, and so many other wonderful and insightful Hollywood right-wing fringe types, a magnificent bullhorn we otherwise would not have. We appear to be doing the dirty jobs our media just refuses to do. It’s a labor Hercules would completely sympathize with. (more…)

I am not a magician.  Many news cameras were there!

Obviously, it was on the radio and I wasn’t in prison.  I’m also not a radicalized Muslim terrorist.  But it was not a hoax! I repeat: NOT A HOAX.

We kept telling management, the insurance companies, and the local Chicago cops we weren’t really going to do it until we did.  Otherwise, they weren’t gonna let us do it!  We got a U.S. Marine that told us he had studied how to do it and he volunteered to waterboard me in return for a mention of his charity.

I was on a decline and I was waterboarded.  Was I in chains?  No.  Does that make it less real?  I am failing to get the point attempted by my detractors.  We never claimed it was an exact recreation.

The CIA technique is exactly what we did:

1.    Keep the chest elevated above the head and neck to keep the lungs “above the waterline.” (more…)

Disclaimer: What you are about to read is fiction. It is a story about peace. Peace at any cost.

THE WORLD TODAY: A News Summary

May 2009

BONN (EU News) – The current CSPEU administration has decided to increase productivity by lowering the age that children are required to enter the workforce from nine to eight years of age. The EU Vice Minister for the Interior states the lowering of the work age is due to an increased shortage of youthful workers. “It’s a reflection of the ongoing fighting between our peaceful union and the obstinate Russians.”

Citizens and subjects in the 18-25 age bracket have seldom been seen in recent years. The Vice Minister commented on this by stating, “This temporary downturn in our youthful population is insignificant compared to the tremendous loss of life on the Russian side. Though our rockets delivering Vemork V weapons obliterated St. Petersburg and most of Moscow years ago, the Russians, though scattered and ill equipped, still choose to resist to this very day. It staggers the mind why they wish to continue their own misery. ” (more…)

Sure this one’s been a long time coming, and with everything that’s been going on, how could I NOT make a video about the twitchy old bird. It isn’t enough that she’d been undermining our administration for years, now she’s got to come out and play the “victim” card. Poor Nancy, skunked again! Come on ma’am, it’s getting old.

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Note: I know the video gets a little personal, but thanks to Wanda Sykes… That is a concern of mine no longer!

Whenever I have suggested that left-wingers aren’t normal human beings, and have wondered if perhaps they’re some weird interplanetary life form like the pods in “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” the liberals accuse me of indulging in ad hominem attacks, and I suppose I am.  But I am honestly bewildered.  It just doesn’t seem plausible that Americans could find good things to say about tyrants like Castro, Chavez and Ahmadinejad, while at the same time reviling the likes of Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh and General Petraeus.

Left-wingers side with the so-called Palestinians and insist that their country was stolen from them by the Jews, but when you ask them just exactly where the country was located, what their flag looked like and who their president was, they huff and they puff and they denounce you as a tool of the Jewish lobby. (more…)

Ms. Pelosi: 

I’ll make this brief because I know you are busy. 

I wanted to remind you of the oath you first took in 1987 and reaffirm at the start of each new Congress. It reads:

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.

Maybe I am missing something but I read nothing about political parties, putting your interests above the nation’s, or putting your party’s interests above the nation. (more…)

Gourmet cheese… Adolpho the world’s most expensive hair stylist… Lake Como… Van Cleef & Arpels… Tiffany… 

WATER-BLAH BLAH BLAH…. 

Armani… Cole-Haan… Private Jets with mahogany paneling…

WATER-BOOP-BOOP-BOOP….

Little Doggie sweaters… delicious, though insanely-overpriced-for-being-grown-locally California fruit… Chanel… The Galapagos Islands… AL Gore; President of the Galapagos Islands… Al Gore in big Moo-Moo whilst President of the Galapagos Islands… (more…)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Subject: Declassified Water Boarding Photos. Is it torture? You decide.

A citizen of Siam (Thailand) was recently captured on American soil with trace amounts of an unknown chemical agent. Due to homeland security policy, the foreign national was examined. The trace elements seemed to contain a high level of ammonia felinas, a chemical the EPA recently classified as a toxic greenhouse gas in its vapor state and an eye inflamitant (sp?) in its solid state.

After initial traces were found, the foreign national then distributed a large amount of ammonia felinas into the bed of an American citizen who called in a haz-mat squad and department of Homeland Security (DHO) personnel to apprehend the foreign national and interrogate her for more information about the offense.

These are the pictures of the interrogation and imprisonment of the foreign national. Did DHO torture the suspect? What did DHO and Nancy Pelosi know and when did they know it? You will have to decide.

WARNING! The pictures you are about to see of this incident are brutal: (more…)

Nancy Pelosi this morning let the floodgates open.  In a ‘frank and open’ press conference she waffled and redirected.  She explained, rationalized, dodged and obfuscated.   She bobbed and weaved.  She danced the Paso Doble.  It was a masterful exhibition of Terpsichore, with lovely grand jete’s, loop-de-loops and chicanery. 

I haven’t seen such tap dancing since last year’s So You Think Ya Can Dance auditions.

Looking and sounding very shaky and rattled, she maintained that she had no idea the Enhanced Interview Techniques used on suspected terrorists to get vital life-saving information from them included waterboarding.  Misremembering expertly, Ms. Pelosi said in her briefing, she was told that waterboarding techniques “were…not…being…employed.”  (It apparently is a useful technique with politicians interested in convincing you of the sincerity and impeccable veracity of their statements  …to…slow…down…and… …emphasize…each…word.   As in, “I…did…not…have…sex…with that woman…Miss Lewinsky….”)

How…stupid…do…you…think…we…are? (more…)

If you ever needed to witness torture in action, check out Nancy Pelosi`s press conference Thursday morning. She squirmed, bulged, sweated and finally even tried to back away from the podium in a desperate attempt to escape. The best part, for me, was when one of the lapdog reporters – in an obvious strategy to gain favor from the Botoxed Barracuda – asked her about health care. It’s like during Hurricane Katrina, asking Bush if the pools will remain open.

Now I was at the gym during the press conference, where they only allow CNN on the tv. There`s no Fox News – mainly because it aggravates the yoga instructor`s rosacea. On the stair climber, I had no choice but to watch Pelosi with the sound off, and her body movements said more about what she knew than words ever could. Throughout the conference, she began to resemble one of those delightful popping dolls – those latex creatures whose eyes, ears & nose pop out when you start squeezing the torso. Pelosi, in effect, was in a tight spot, and it was delight to see the press – for once – use her like a grip strengthener. (more…)

During the Cold War, a slew of movies came out that dealt with the possibility of a nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union. This is not surprising since the atom and hydrogen bombs were the most powerful weapons ever devised by man. Well, almost.

I’ll get to that somewhat nervy assertion in a bit, but first a little background.

Among the cinematic slew released during those years of cold, are two of my favorite films, Dr. Strangelove and Fail-Safe. Both dealt with strikingly similar themes, unintentional nuclear holocaust, yet in entirely different tones.  But cold war themes weren’t that varied by their very nature, since inevitably the worst case scenario was the best case plot device and nothing brings down the house like bringing down the house.

With that said, still, there’s so much similarity between the two stories that law suits were indeed filed and production schedules slowed. This worked out to Stanley Kubrick’s advantage as his Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb was released almost a year ahead of Sidney Lumet’s Fail-Safe. In my opinion Kubrick’s is a better film than Lumet’s and not due to slowed schedules, either. But both are magnificent, and because of their approaches to the topic, very different  and essential part of the genre. (more…)