White House Interoffice Memo:

FROM: POTUS

TO:  All White House Staff,  Ms. O.W., Rev. W., Mr. W.A. 

CC: MSNBC, NBC, CNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, NPR, COMEDY CENTRAL.

RULE #1: 

Beginning this Friday, we are eliminating all references to, either verbally or physically; the notion of ‘problems’ of any sort.

No admittance of, or complaint about, a ‘problem’ whether previous or present shall be verbalized, text-ed, emailed, noted, teleprompted, signed, mimed, smoke signaled, transferred, dreamt about, slept with, interpretively danced, pig called, semaphored, channeled, Morse coded or telepathed in any language known now or that may be discovered or created by men, aliens or Canadians in perpetuity forever and ever, amen. (more…)