“I like her make up. I’m pretty sure it was tested on animals.”

That’s one of the many lines the screenwriters use to show off the cold personality of Rachel Kramer (Drew Barrymore) in the new film, “Big Miracle.” Adapted from the nonfiction book “Freeing the Whales” by Thomas Rose, “Miracle” presents Kramer as a hardcore Greenpeace activist who is unwilling to watch three whales die when they are trapped five miles inland in northern Alaska.

Unfortunately, the heavy-handed script — full of obnoxious lines like the one above — and Barrymore’s poor performance undercut what could have been a decent family film.

The story revolves around three whales trapped in the middle of an icy landscape. The magnificent creature need pockets of unfrozen land to breathe and none exist around them, so they are forced to remain in a little hole that could freeze up at any time. That is until a reporter named Adam Carlson (John Krasinki) brings the story to a local television network.

His report receives worldwide attention because– it turns out–Tom Brokaw has “a thing for whales.“ Brokaw includes the report on a national newscast and soon enough, members of the media are swarming Alaska to save three whales that would have died otherwise.

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Politico:

The video stars Kevin Spacey, Matt Damon, Sean Penn, Kristen Wiig, Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen as part of the foundation’s celebrity division, pumping out ideas like not breathing to save the environment. There’s even a cameo from Bubba at the end.

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Food and television go hand in hand.  Those who doubt this fact need only look at the correlation between the proliferation of cable television by year then compare it with the obesity rate.  The two seem to be related.  The more wide spread cable became, the fatter we got.  It should be no surprise that food has been almost as big a part of television for the various shows as it has been for the audience.  A number of programs have created (or stumbled accidentally upon) signature dishes that became part of the shows and the pop-culture consciousness as well.  Below are my top five television foods and recipes.

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5.   The Screaming Viking from “Cheers”: 

The Screaming Viking comes from the first episode of Cheers to feature Kirstie Alley in her roll of Rebecca Howe.  Sam (Ted Danson), trying to purge anything that was associated with former flame, Diane (Shelly Long), out of his life, sold the bar, bought a boat, and planned on circumnavigating the globe.  The problem was that Sam was about as good at being a sailor as he was at being a MLB pitcher.  He sank the boat and returned to Cheers, penniless and looking for a job.  New manager, Rebecca Howe, hires him but must make room by either firing longtime Cheers assistant bartender, Woody (Woody Harrelson), or a new, but extremely talented bartender she had hired.  The new guy claimed he knew ever drink known to man, and made a bet that if a customer asked for a drink he was unfamiliar with, he would quit.  After some conspiring between the Cheers regulars, the fictional drink the Screaming Viking was born.  Obviously the new guy didn’t know what this concoction was, and left in disgrace.

After the defeated bartender leaves, everyone who had ordered the Screaming Viking spits it out.  This is probably the appropriate reaction to this drink.  The ingredients are vodka, dry vermouth, celery, lime juice, and a cucumber (bruised). 

This drink doesn’t make the (more…)

This is a little off-topic, but whenever I read something conjured by some A-lister over at the HuffPo, I’m always struck by how dull and humorless the writing is. These are big shots, performers, stahs, and most of them write as though they’re submitting some kind of college entrance exam. Where’s the voice, the personality, the wit…? Yes, we get it, you’re … smart … and … informed … and … serious. But for my sake — for the sake of the guy whose job it is to trudge through your mighty impressiveness on a daily basis, could you you spice it up some — a little hot-cha-cha for you’re favorite right-wing extremist?

And this isn’t an ideological thing. As morally and politically illiterate as many of my writer foes on the left are, at least they’re not boring.

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Where was I? Oh, yes, the wagon circling. Other than nudging Obama to be even more socialist when it comes to the kind of regulation and oversight necessary to kill middle-class jobs and tax us all into poverty ensure this tragedy never happens again, not a single one criticizes the President for his mishandling of the spill. But guess who does rank a Babs mention?

Redford’s video above is a pretty fascinating piece of propaganda. Take special note of how he at first laments the  job losses caused by the spill but then closes by calling for even more job losses through an end to offshore drilling. It should go without saying that the Obama administration’s voting present throughout the 50-plus days of this disaster never comes up. (more…)

So what gives? Are these areas just not glamorous enough? Do celebs not want to further highlight The One’s pathetic response?

Celebrities love causes. They love them for a couple of reasons: one, it makes them seem like “serious” people despite making a non-serious living as entertainers – or, as in the case of “professional reality show stars,” making a living by leeching off the system. Two, it’s free publicity. After all, you aren’t a celebrity if you aren’t being “celebrated” by an adoring public.

As such, celebrities often embrace “feel good causes” that enhance their PR value and their egos. Take “green living,” for instance. Why all the Hollywood hooh hah about carbon footprints and other such nonsense? Christopher Grey of WND has a theory:

Celebrities want attention, but they also want credibility because they typically don’t have any. Environmentalism is an easy cause for them to promote to get attention and at the same time appear somehow thoughtful and even educated because it is allegedly based on science. Of course none of this has anything do with reality, but this is the entertainment business. Reality is not important at all. Image is everything. Talking about recycling, stopping offshore drilling, solar power, and electric cars is a lot easier than really trying to do something for people in the world like feeding the hungry, helping abused children, or building houses for the homeless.

It also deflects attention from the obvious fact that celebrities are often some of the most wasteful, energy inefficient, materialistic, shallow, and superficial people in our society. A classic recent example was James Cameron, who talked about how his film, Avatar, was a shining example of environmentalism. Obama echoed this praise. This was the most expensive movie ever made about a war on an alien planet. What exactly about this movie helped to conserve resources or save our planet? The answer is absolutely nothing.

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If cable is the place where the best shows get made, Damages is the proof. It’s third season started with a bang and continues to surprise its viewers with tightly written, clever stories acted by some of the best talent out there.

Glenn Close stars as Patty Hewes, a high-powered trial lawyer who takes on big corporations for massive damages. For the first couple seasons you couldn’t tell if she was a villain or a hero. Patty’s a legal shark and a world class poker player without the cards. Her manipulations and schemes are Machiavellian to the extreme, which is why Patty is at the top of her game.

In season one she hires Ellen Parsons (Rose Byrne), a young attorney out to make a name for herself by working with a top law firm. Her relationship with Patty is reminiscent at first of the John Grisham classic The Firm. What seems like a plum job soon becomes dangerous and you can’t tell if Patty’s out to murder her or it’s one of the defendants they’re trying to bring down.

Patty’s loyal lieutenant is Tom Shayes (Tate Donovan). Shayes gets things done for Patty but even he finds tackling the biggest game in town can put your life at risk. (more…)

Earlier this year, I rented and re-watched the entire series run of Cheers. Towards the end of the series, the hayseed junior bartender Woody Boyd (Woody Harrelson) decides to run for city council. He is encouraged in this endeavor by psychiatrist Fraser Crane (Kelsey Grammer), the bar’s resident elite, who acts as Woody’s campaign manager.

Fraser masterminds Woody’s campaign as a social experiment: He is convinced that anyone, even a bumpkin, can get elected, simply by spouting vague cliches. His advice to Woody? Don’t be specific on the campaign trail – just repeat empty slogans like “change.”

When I saw this, I burst out laughing – perhaps this is where Axelrod & Co. received their inspiration for Barack Obama’s 2008 campaign theme, I surmised. (more…)

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UPDATE: My friend the Anchoress tweets on Ted Danson: “ …and he’s wearing his “smart” glasses, so we’d better listen.”

With his tired “wonderful entertainer” swipe, Ted Danson tries mightily to laugh off all-things Rush Limbaugh, but the bitterness is just too deep to keep the charade going for long; and let’s face it, Danson’s just not that good of an actor.

Longtime Limbaugh listeners know where Danson’s anger comes from. Who could ever forget this: (more…)

In keeping with what apparently is the Left’s best argument against any opposition to President Obama’s policies, which is that anyone who disagrees with them is a racist, Bill Maher posted his most recent profanity-laced juvenility on the obviously standardless Huffington Post this weekend, informing President Obama that, in order to best the lying racists he is forced to govern, he needs to become “an a**hole.”

I couldn’t help but remember a favorite story that my wife and I tell on each other from time to time. Years ago, we were going through some counseling about our relationship (we’re totally cured now, of course. Just ask my wife). We had two counselors who were partners, one of whom focused on us, but both of whom knew our story.  After a considerable number of sessions had come and gone with no tangible improvement, one day my wife stormed into their office in an obvious fury to see our guy. His colleague, a wonderfully grumpy man, glanced up at her and offhandedly said, “What’s your problem?”

“My husband’s an a**hole.”

He responded flatly, “Maybe you’re the a**hole.” (more…)

So, as usual this morning, I’m on the stairclimber at the gym, watching CNN devote what seems like an entire morning on the death of George Tiller (no wonder their ratings are in the toilet). Remember, this isn’t just any abortion doctor – he’s like a hall-of-famer, late-term baby disposal unit – popping them off just as they cross the finish line.

But no matter, as I watch CNN’s in depth coverage – the kind you’d never see them give to the murder of a soldier by a Muslim convert – I kept obsessing over one thing.

Am I wrong for not caring?

I mean, I know that soon there will be a movie about Tiller (not about William Long, of course), probably starring walking hairpiece Ted Danson. But I still don’t care. I mean, I know that killing Tiller is wrong. It’s murder. And if you’re against the killing of unborn children, you can’t just go out and kill a man, even if he kills unborn children. (more…)