On Teabagging and Other Oral Servitudes

This past April 15, as a half-million Tea Partiers hit the streets of America to protest the insane tax-and-spend policies of the Obama administration, a new epithet entered the American lexicon, and it was a beauty: “teabagger.” It was both an epithet and a double entendre you just couldn’t top, given the tea bag’s symbolism of the old Boston Tea Party and the anti-tax movement of today. In one fell swoop, a passionate movement was reduced to a perversion of passion: the dunking of one person’s scrotum into another person’s mouth. They got us. Big Time. And it’s everywhere now. Can’t get away from it. Even ABC’s George Stephanopoulos is using it now.

Credit where credit is due, and let’s face it. We Americans, right, left or center, take a churlish pride in a good slam dunk epithet. Not the hardcore racial third rail stuff, mind you. Just the playful sort. You know. Moonbat. Libtard. Tinfoil hat. In fact, tinfoil hat kind of backfired on Righties. Originally used to denigrate Lefties who adhered to psychotic conspiracy theories like 9/11 Truth, the term was embraced in full by the far Left as demonstrated by Markos Moulitsas’ Tinfoil Hat KOS conventions, smashing successes which attracted major left-leaning LibDem politicians over the past few years. (more…)

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Tags: "teabagging", amnesty, Arlen Specter, Chris Matthews, conservative
Posted Oct 29th 2009 at 6:51 am in Politics | 251926149 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/10/29/on-teabagging-and-other-oral-servitudes/On+Teabagging+and+Other+Oral+Servitudes2009-10-29+13%3A51%3A14John+T.+Simpson

Wanda Sykes: Limbaugh Had It Coming; Still Loves Prez Who Opposes Same-Sex Marriage

At this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Wanda Sykes labeled Rush Limbaugh a terrorist and “joked” about her desire to see his kidneys fail. Not only does she not regret wishing the talk show host dead, in an interview with Metro Weekly (via: NewsBusters) she says in so many words that Limbaugh started it:

METRO WEEKLY: Do you ever worry about stepping out of bounds, about doing a joke that’s gone too far?

SYKES:I don’t worry about it. My barometer is that I don’t want to be mean spirited – just to attack someone for the sake of doing it. If you started it, I have a right to go after you. If you did something, I can go after you. But I want it to be about what you did and not just a personal attack or something.

MW: Which is where Rush Limbaugh comes in. You leveled several vicious – and I would agree in his case completely earned – jokes in his direction at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. You got some flak in the press for it. Looking back, do you regret saying those things about Limbaugh? (more…)

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Tags: "teabagging", gay marriage, Obama, teabaggers, Wanda Sykes
Posted Aug 22nd 2009 at 1:07 pm in Celebrity News, Featured Story, Politics | 20989073 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jjmnolte/2009/08/22/wanda-sykes-limbaugh-had-it-coming-still-loves-prez-who-opposes-same-sex-marriage/Wanda+Sykes%3A+Limbaugh+Had+It+Coming%3B+Still+Loves+Prez+Who+Opposes+Same-Sex+Marriage2009-08-22+20%3A07%3A56John+Nolte

My Secret Life as a Conservative Republican

I’m tired of hiding it. Everybody knows anyway. So it’s time to come clean, just like the Klan hoods I’ve got spinning in the dryer as we speak. It’s time for the Neanderthal knuckle-dragging, open mouth-breathing, racist, sexist, Klan and Timothy McVeigh-loving Montana militia member gun nut conservative Republican religious zealot in me to be set free. Repression is a bitch, and so am I.

I go to bed full of hate and wake up the same.  I hate blacks, Hispanics, gays, women, abortion doctors, liberals, Lefties, Democrats, you name ‘em, I hate ‘em if they’re not like me. I especially hate President Obama for being black. Just ask Janeane Garofalo, although being a Stalinist Socialist doesn’t help Obama’s cause any with me. Fact is, Obama could be a GOP Michael Steele Uncle Tom, and I’d still hate him even more than liberals hate Steele. Skin color trumps all. Thank God I was born the right color, or I’d probably kill myself. Wait, the hoods are dry! Be right back. (more…)

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Tags: "teabagging", 9/11, abortion, Adolf Hitler, AIPAC
Posted Jul 15th 2009 at 2:36 pm in Politics | 182706188 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/07/15/my-secret-life-as-a-conservative-republican/My+Secret+Life+as+a+Conservative+Republican2009-07-15+21%3A36%3A48John+T.+Simpson

Daily Gut: Bill Maher’s Not Himself Anymore

One of the great things about the election of Barack Obama is how it terminated the relevance of Bill Maher. Remember Maher? He was that “edgy” guy who crowned himself the King of all things politically incorrect. At times he could be really funny – but the more he fixated on easy targets, the less “incorrect” he became. His shtick is now little more than a smirk in a suit, a walking catalogue of jokes that could have been written by the most brain dead of Huffpo commenters.

So now that the Republicans are out of power – who’s Bill going after now? In his column in the Los Angeles Times … it`s the Republicans who aren’t in power.

And this shows what happens when your recent career has been little more than one easy Bush joke after another: when the target of that joke is gone – what’s left?

Oh yeah, a teabagging joke. (more…)

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Tags: "teabagging", Barack Obama, Bill Maher, Bush jokes, Craigslist
Posted Apr 24th 2009 at 4:17 pm in Celebrity News, Daily Gut, Entertainment, Political Humor, Politics | 1161828 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/ggutfeld/2009/04/24/daily-guy-bill-mahers-not-himself-anymore/Daily+Gut%3A+Bill+Maher%27s+Not+Himself+Anymore2009-04-24+23%3A17%3A00Greg+Gutfeld

Celebutard of the Week: Janeane Garofalo

Janeane Garofalo is an unreconstructed, unapologetic racist.

Yet the uncouth actress will never be punished, vilified or marginalized, because she openly disparaged the one ethnic group which enjoys no Hollywood protection. That would be white people. Particularly, white people from the South.

What do you think would happen should anyone turn the tables, reverse the races, change the geography, and denigrate an urban person of color? The conservatives I know do not resort to gutter talk. 

For her bold and unbridled racism – offenses that are sure to draw deafening applause by the American left – Janeane Garofalo is my Celebutard of the Week, in keeping with my book, “Celebutards: The Hollywood Hacks, Limousine Liberals and Pandering Politicians Who Are Destroying America.”  (more…)

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Tags: "teabagging", janeane garofalo, racist rednecks, Southerners, Tea Parties
Posted Apr 20th 2009 at 1:49 pm in Celebrity News | 1108628 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/apeyser/2009/04/20/celebutard-of-the-week-janeane-garofalo/Celebutard+of+the+Week%3A+Janeane+Garofalo2009-04-20+20%3A49%3A45Andrea+Peyser

Daily Gut: ‘Teabagging’

So if there`s one great thing we learned from today`s Tea parties, it`s how Anderson Cooper spends his nights off. It had happened during a conversation with talking thumb, David Gergen, who had just noted that the tea party protestors had yet to find their voice. Cooper`s response: “It’s hard to talk when you’re teabagging.”

Now, if you`re too old or too high to get what`s going on, here`s the joke: The liberal-leaning media are goofing on the tea parties by invoking the term teabagging, a phrased used to describe an act of oral sex performed by a man – either on another man, woman, or in Alec Baldwin’s case – a cheeseburger.

And so you have Cooper`s joke – it`s just a shame he ripped off the shtick from David Shuster, who apparently has never met a joke he hasn`t beat to death like a hunter on a harp seal. On MSNBC, Shuster repeats testicle-based puns with a fervent relish not unlike an eight-year old boy who just can`t stop sniffing his fingers. And, this, coming from me. I`m mean – I always thought I was the king of obvious jokes, but I relinquish that crown – because the real obvious joke is Shuster. (more…)

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Tags: "teabagging", Anderson Cooper, David Shuster, Liberal Media, Tea Parties
Posted Apr 15th 2009 at 11:57 am in Daily Gut, Featured Story | 106978No Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/ggutfeld/2009/04/15/daily-gut-teabagging/Daily+Gut%3A+%27Teabagging%272009-04-15+18%3A57%3A04Greg+Gutfeld