Even more impressive; they didn’t even get a copy of our internal memo on the operation. They just noted that Breitbart was in Madison and noted that conservative news outlets did the reporting of the ‘fake notes’ scandal. It was a brilliant piece of deduction.

So, it is probably only a matter of time before they learn the full truth. The doctor sting, in fact, was only an afterthought, dreamed up by our research lemur after a tequila binge with Retracto. It was profoundly simple too. The lemur pulled the whole thing off after only about 15 minutes on Gchat.

I’m coming clean: Breitbart staged the entire union protest in Madison. All of it. The Walker proposal, the union protest and the counter protest. Everything. Let me explain.

For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been trading coded messages with the Kochs, trying to find that final nail to put into the coffin of the middle class. (The exact code is a bit complicated, but it is based on the spacing of letters around certain phrases in Glenn Beck monologues. Think “cloward-piven” etc.) The orders from the Kochs finally came back, “take out public sector unions.”

We retired to the top floor of the gleaming Breitbart tower to plot strategy. I’m saving most of this for my book, but we ultimately settled on using the budget crisis to propose very small changes in public union’s compensation and then, this was the tricky part, getting the unions to so overact that they would lose all public sympathy.

“But, this isn’t some third-world banana republic,” I cautioned. “Its America, even public unions will realize the need for shared sacrifice to get out of this budget mess.”

There was silence for a while. Then, Andrew had another eureka moment, “We don’t use real union members. We’ll hire fake ones.”

“But, that would take, like, thousands of people to pull off,” I again cautioned.

Andrew shot back, “Have you seen the unemployment numbers.”

Once we realized we could just hire fake protesters, the ideas started flowing. “Really big puppets”, I threw out. “Interpretive dances,” thundered Stage Right. “No, I got it,” shrieked Dana, “have so many teachers call in sick that schools have to close. Parents will hate that shit.”

Brilliant.

“Okay, but,” I said, “we still need someone to propose this. You know, a place with a legislature, where this proposal can actually be voted on. Which of the 49 states can we get to do this?”

Several minutes of silence broken again by Andrew, “Let’s just make up a state! I always thought there should be fifty. We’ll just convince people there’s a 50th state where this is happening. We can call it Wisconsin, in honor of our first Alpaca.”

Nolte chimed in, “Well, if its a fake state, we can even have Democrat legislators ‘fleeing the state’ so they don’t have to vote. I know real legislators wouldn’t do that…but if we are making it up its no-holds-bar. I know Hollywood, we can, like, so totally pull this off.”

“Okay,” I said, “but that is some serious brainwashing we’re gonna need. Its one thing to say a guy in chinos is wearing a pimp costume. You’re talking about convincing people there is a whole new state. I don’t think even the Kochs and all their CGI studios can pull that off.”

“Right,” Andrew said. He turned and bellowed into his phone, “Get me the Hungarian.”

Of course, there is more to the story…especially the funny bit about how Trumpka almost blew the whole thing. But, as I said, I’m saving that for my book.

Big Hollywood hater Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times jumped right into full “gotta defend our pals in the Industry” effect with a hysterical (in both senses of the word) counterattack supporting Glee creator Ryan Murphy.  The LAT, for those not residing here, is a small, local pamphlet of uncertain financial stability which recently reduced the physical size of its dead tree edition to about that of an Applebee’s menu.  Its innovative marketing strategy of providing its dwindling readership with even less content for their money has somehow failed to halt its downward spiral toward Chapter 11.

Pat writes:

Poor Ryan Murphy. I guess it would’ve been oh-so-much simpler if he’d just had Jane Lynch tell the silly cheerleaders that they were the dumbest teens she’d ever seen. And that was saying something, since she’d once taught cheerleading to … Megan Fox. It would’ve gotten a nice knowing laugh without prompting any hysterical shrieks of angst from the right-wing blogosphere, which is so paranoid about Hollywood’s oppressive Marxist-Obamaism that it seems bent on getting worked up every time anyone in show business shows any signs of liberal bias.

Poor Ryan Murphy indeed!  He insults the large portion of the American people who respect and support Sarah Palin – you know, the same Sarah Palin who the LAT reported had an approval rating within one point of the President’s – and those vicious monsters dare to respond!  With shrieks of angst no less!

We hicks are getting downright uppity.

And, of course, it’s because we’re sexist, racist, and imperialist to boot!  Pat links our anti-Glee agenda directly to our mindless hatred of the idea of tolerance:

“Glee” was already in hot water with the right wing, since the show’s creator, Ryan Murphy, had in previous episodes made fun of abstinence education and, as Newsbusters puts it, “tried to normalize teen homosexuality.” Apparently on the right, treating gay kids as regular folks, instead of as scary deviants, is cause for alarm.

Oops, sorry!  Looks like I forgot “homophobic” – we’re so many awful things that I sometimes get mixed up and overlook some of our flaws.  Yes, Pat, you’ve figured it out.  We conservatives love being mocked to our faces by people who expect us to consume their products.  That’s cool, but our real problem with Glee is not that it calls people we support – and by extension us – “stupid,” it’s that the show is insufficiently hateful to gay kids.

You caught us, Scoop.  We’re so busted.  Only a reporter of your keen skills could sniff out the clarion calls for more hassling of gay kids that dominate our Tea Party rallies/cross burnings.  That’s the kind of ace reporting and deep insight that’s made the LAT into the unstoppable journalistic success story it is today.  BTW Pat, can you yell across the room to the folks at the subscription phone bank and ask them to stop calling me during dinner to beg me to re-subscribe?

The fact is that Pat and those like him hate the idea of outsiders like us presuming to challenge the Hollywoodoids.  He reasons that, “The conservatives rule talk radio and cable TV, the liberals rule Hollywood and that’s the way it goes.”  Except we never got the memo relegating us to the nether regions of the AM radio spectrum plus one cable news network while granting Pat’s team sole title to the rest of the cultural playing field.  Just like we never got the one dated January 20, 2009, making dissent unpatriotic again.

And our refusal to be satisfied with our assigned seat at the kids’ table in the back of the banquet hall is actually starting to drive them nuts.  For example, Pat whines that we even dared question the deep thoughts of that guy from Bosom Buddies:

As you may recall, the righties were up in arms for weeks when Tom Hanks seemed to imply, while doing interviews promoting HBO’s “The Pacific” series, that there was some link between our war against Japan during World War II and the modern-day war on terrorism.

Pat, you’re the professional, government-licensed and approved journalist here.  Surely you can see that Hanks didn’t imply anything.  He said it.  Your own article even repeated his quote:

Back in World War II,” he told Brinkley, “we viewed the Japanese as ‘yellow, slant-eyed dogs’ that believed in different gods. They were out to kill us because our way of living was different. We, in turn, wanted to annihilate them because they were different.  Does that sound familiar, by any chance, to what’s going on today?

Well, maybe who said what about how we’re just as bad as the people we’re fighting just isn’t important to Pat – celebrities utter this sort of nonsense so regularly that it’s hard to keep which celebrity is making what numbskulled comment straight.

But Pat’s too busy posing as a lonely defender of Murphy’s right to speak freely to bother with things like facts.  Now, it is refreshing to see a LAT writer taking a stand for free expression, in light of the LAT’s strong editorial stand against free speech for those it deems unworthy – us.  But Pat isn’t really defending the concept of free speech, free inquiry or free anything except the notion that the liberal establishment should have free reign to treat popular culture as an undisputed free fire zone for slamming conservatives.

Welcome to the dispute, Pat.  We’re the popular culture insurgency, and the day of the unchallenged, unanswered insult is over.  Your unspoken assumption is that our place is to sit quietly as our betters instruct us on our myriad failings and to dully nod our slack-jawed noggins in agreement.

Not.  Going.  To.  Happen.

Here’s our assumption – popular culture belongs to all of us and when your buddies say something obnoxious, insulting or just plain stupid, they are going to hear about it.

Ryan Murphy is no martyr to free speech.  No one is saying Murphy shouldn’t write what he wants.  We’re just saying that we can, and will, call him on it.  Sure, people might not watch because we’ve exposed his agenda.  We call that a “consequence.”  If Murphy feels so strongly about the powerful, unprecedented, and brave artistic statement that is calling Sarah Palin “stupid” – the political comedy equivalent of a ten minute hack stand-up set on how airline food tastes bad – then he should say it and the Nielsen numbers be damned.  This is a free country, no thanks to and despite the best efforts of modern liberals, and that’s Murphy’s right.

But we’re also free not to watch his stupid show.  You know, Pat, just like you exercise your freedom not to listen to those dirty, nasty, mean old right-winger radio programs by the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Big Hollywood’s own Stage Right.  Although it goes against everything you’ve ever known or believed, we conservatives have the same right to choose what we watch as you lefties do.  And we’re choosing.  And there are a lot of us.

Pat, we sympathize.  We understand that this new media-fueled change is having the effect of breaking your gang’s hold on the flow of information and control of the message.  Change can be painful, but your loss of your coveted gatekeeper status is something that we can live with.  And hey, here’s an idea for you.  When the LAT goes under you can always get a new job where your distaste for conservatives and ability to ignore facts will be fully appreciated – working for the Obama administration like so many other liberal ex-journalists.  Well, at least until January 2013.  And unless you’ve paid your taxes.

Larry also does a nightly talk show on Blog Talk Radio, and while it’s on past my bedtime (9pm PST), after listening to the podcasts over the past few weeks I realized that “The Stage Right Show” is very much a part of the BIGS — so much so that we’re leaning on him to change the title to “The Big Stage Big Right Big Show.” Over the weekend I also leaned on him to do even more work and put together a weekly “Best of” show to post here at Big Hollywood for the benefit of our readers. 

He’s agreed to take that on, and I thank him for that.

So please take a listen in the post below. Just a word of warning that we will be trying different time slots to find the most effective spot for the show. And I may do a full Jeff Zucker and after “The Stage Right Show” is a big success replace it with a program hosted by a much younger man who I’ll eventually unceremoniously dump before bringing Larry back

Next, we had Ben Shapiro on the show to respond.  Also, Billy Hallowell came on to discuss the habit the left has of screaming “Racist” at any conservative they don’t like and to tell us about his last post at Big Hollywood about ‘Rock the Vote’.

Andrew Breitbart called in with a very unique anecdote about his travails in renting a car in Palm Springs.  And Adam Baldwin was our featured interview in a wide-ranging discussion about Hollywood, politics, education and Twitter.

The Stage Right Show broadcasts live every week night at 9PM Pacific Time.  All past shows are available in their entirety at itunes.

This week we will feature interviews with Gary Graham, Patrick Courrielche, Andrew Ian Dodge and Demon Sheep!

How about that Bruno!

That doesn’t mean I completely tuned out – thanks to Big Hollywood.

On the one year anniversary of the site, I thank God that I chose John Nolte to be the editor in chief. It’s not just because he knows everything about film – though he does. It’s because the man has an impeccable moral compass, and it’s unbelievably refreshing to read his analysis of pop culture not through the typical NY TIMES/VARIETY/VANITY FAIR post-modern prism but through the ancient lens of right vs. wrong, decency vs. indecency, entertainment vs. nihilism.

And it has resonated. Everywhere I go in Los Angeles — and beyond — people come up to me and congratulate me for… well, hiring him. He’s the heart and soul of Big Hollywood.

On this first anniversary, I’d also like to thank from the bottom of my heart our contributors and readers. I am deeply grateful for each and every one of you.

A special thanks to Patrick Courrielche for his Pulitzer Prize Winning* (if Pulitzers were still awarded for great journalism) expose of the NEA/White House propaganda initiative. And a special acknowledgment to Stage Right, who came out as Larry O’Connor. I hope there are more who follow his lead.

And a last, but certainly not least, thanks to Alex Marlow, who is Mr. Big. He is the man juggling all the Bigs at all times.

One year in, I know that so many conservatives, JFK liberals, and libertarians in this town are a little more secure in voicing their points of view (in their work, on this soap box and beyond), And that is no small thanks to the environment that John, Alex, our contributors and our commenters have created here. Yes, Big Hollywood promotes the good stuff this town produces, and critiques the bad, but this mighty collective is mighty impressive when it is out there targeting what the left likes to call “The McCarthyites,” but in this case those entrenched in their institutional power who bully and punish those that disagree. Life (and, in many cases, box office returns) were less agreeable to those types in 2009.

Thanks for a wonderful year, my friends.

And, I’ll try to watch more movies and TV this year.

So, tomorrow, here on the pages of Big Hollywood, I will reveal my real name and my background.  I think it is only fitting to do this the day before Christmas Eve as it is in the true spirit of an Obama Administration “Friday Afternoon Document Dump.”  This way, if people in the industry or liberal friends of mine, eventually find out a few weeks from now I can just “Do a Gibbs” and say “That’s OLD news, the American people don’t care about that. Now let me get back to doing the business of the American people… no more questions, please.”

I look forward to this new chapter and the opportunities that will come with it.  Now, if you’ll forgive me, I have to get going…  I have to find a good picture of myself!

The show has gone through quite a few changes and refinement over this extensive preview period, and now, after month’s of previews, tonight will be my official opening night.  And it is fitting that my big debut at Big Hollywood will feature a special guest known very well to the readers here:  Gary Graham.

I’ve had quite a few Big Hollywood guests over the past weeks including Charles Winecoff, Alfonzo Rachel and Adam Baldwin.  And, I often have a special visit, usually unannounced, from none other than Andrew Breitbart.

Also, in the spirit of the interactivity and social networking I wanted to establish, we have a chat room that runs live during the show.  It is populated by a group of loyal listeners who I have dubbed “The Hollywood Chat Pack”.  And you may even recognize some Big Hollywood writers amongt them as well.

Listen to Stage Right on Blog Talk Radio

I would be honored if you, the dedicated readers of Big Hollywood, would come over and visit the show tonight at 9PM Pacific Time.  You can listen over the internet, on your iPhone or by simpling calling our listener’s line:  347-850-1946.  If you like what you hear, I’d love it if you made a habit out of it.

Also check out Stage Right’s “People Speak” podcast special on Blog Talk Radio.

East Coast and West Coast threads after the jump.

So, PBS, if it is true, as VP of Sesame Workshop Sherrie Westin indicated in the above segment, that the GNN (Grouchy News Network) clip exposed by Big Hollywood three weeks ago was in praise of Fox, then how do you explain this?!?!:

I don’t know what was in the head of the producers, but my guess is that this was one of those parodies that was too good to resist. But it should have been resisted. Broadcasters can tell parents whatever they think of Fox or any other network, but you shouldn’t do it through the kids. -PBS Ombudsmen Michael Getler

I guess that means you were against Pox News before you were for it, or something?

Westin’s explanation is enough to make one’s BS detector go haywire.  First, spinning the “trashy news show” comment to be not just a compliment, but “highest praise” is so outrageous I had to watch it a few times just to make sure she was being serious.  Tack on the fact that the PBS Ombudsmen already acknowledged this line was a “shot at Fox News,” and one would recommend Ms. Westin check her shoe to see if she did in fact step in it.

Next, Westin states that the “Pox News” line was a throwaway to entertain adults, which does not comport with the last clause of the Getler quote cited about.  And even if we granted her that the “Pox News” comment was directed solely at adults and would 100% fly over children’s heads (which we won’t), wouldn’t it have crossed the producers’ minds that the line might offend/disappoint/trouble/piss off parents that watch both “Sesame Street” and Fox News?  Not like any such parents exist… We think it did cross their minds, and we think they decided to send their hostile, anti-Fox message anyway.

Stage Right posted the “Pox News” clip on Nov. 3rd, the PBS ombudsman weighed in on November 5th, but three weeks later on November 24th, all of a sudden the explanation has completely changed?  Perhaps the reason is Sesame Workshop and PBS Ombudsmen Getler did not coordinate responses on this one, but we certainly hope they do, because at this point they have a lotta ’splainin’ to do.

On a lighter note, Spill O’Reilly was a delight.

Just as I suspected, it has happened.  They are trying to “Falwell” me and my colleagues here at Big Hollywood for raising concerns about “Sesame Street’s” description of Fox News as “Trashy.” We are “stupid,” “idiotic” and we are whining and pathetic (impressive debate tactics there, Mr. Socrates).  And, according to PBS’ own Ombudsman, Michael Gelter, we are….  right:

I don’t know what was in the head of the producers, but my guess is that this was one of those parodies that was too good to resist. But it should have been resisted. Broadcasters can tell parents whatever they think of Fox or any other network, but you shouldn’t do it through the kids

I was planning on letting the issue die after being romanced by Media Matters, but I noticed something fascinating.  I’ve written here about a lot of subjects.  Mostly about theatre and the arts, and I also defended that “racist-fascist” Rush Limbaugh,  but, never has a post of mine gotten the kind of hate-filled comments this one did.  Also, for the first time I started receiving hate e-mails… the long, rambling, Holden Caufield kind of e-mails (you can forgive me for feeling a little “Grouchy”).  What gives?  Why was this post different?

I think many people either don’t believe there is anything wrong with some playful jokes at the expense of Fox News on a children’s network, or they don’t WANT to believe that the writers of “Sesame Street” are deliberately injecting attitudes that plant seeds in children for future growth.  To me,   it doesn’t matter.  Gelter’s words say it best:  “You shouldn’t do it through their kids.”

I am very tired of being lectured by the left (and fellow denizens of the right) about “manning up” and growing a thick skin and taking it in stride.  Listen, I’m a conservative in the theatre business… You don’t think I have a thick skin?  But when it comes to my kids, I am ferocious in protecting them and in protecting my influence over them.

If my kid came home from a neighbor’s house and told me that “Jimmy’s Daddy said Fox News was trashy news,” you better believe that I would have a word to say to Jimmy’s Daddy.  It’s inappropriate and tasteless to inject your personal beliefs onto someone else’s kids.  Why is this position controversial?  And, to add insult to injury, PBS used my money to do it.  Am I really going out on a limb in crying foul?

But, the vitriol and sheer volume of criticism of this post has intrigued me and I have begun to look further into “Sesame Street,” the Children’s Television Network, and the educational advisers who shape the message and curricula injected into these shows.  There’s more to discuss.  Much more.

And, for those of you mocking this whole concept as to whether a children’s TV show can have that kind of influence over a child, ask yourself:  Did Morgan Freeman and Rita Moreno have as much influence on your use of compound words as your first grade teacher did?  Did you learn the preamble to the Constitution from school, or from “Schoolhouse Rock”?  Do you remember “Free to Be, You and Me”?

If children’s TV could influence you with those shows, don’t you think it can influence your kids today?  Since you’re paying for it, shouldn’t you know a little more about what you’re buying?