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But America’s abundance does not apply to movies about Thanksgiving.  Certainly some exist, but if you review a list of movies about Thanksgiving, the sad fact is that there are very few good ones.  Many are PC retellings of the original Thanksgiving story – one guess as to who the villains are (Hint:  It’s the dudes with buckles on their hats).  Others are tiresome melodramas about “quirky” families that reaffirm their bonds over plates of turkey, with “quirky” — meaning “annoying.” 

There simply is not a worthy list of Top Movies about Thanksgiving to be made, but there is a solid list of Eight Great Movies for Thanksgiving.  These are films that embody, in some way, what Thanksgiving really means.  You are free to disagree with the choices – as some Marines recently did regarding another list – but the freedom to think for yourself is but one of many things to be thankful for.  Maybe these movies don’t all feature turkey and trimmings – though a couple of them do – but you can’t go wrong with them this Thanksgiving Day:

1.   A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving:  No, this is not a movie.  So sue me.  Anyone who grew up in the 70’s or 80’s remembers this classic cartoon version of Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang’s turkey day.  But this is not just for kids.  One of the interesting things about Charles Schultz’s kid characters is how utterly mercenary and oblivious they can be, latching onto the crassest materialism and taking what they have completely for granted.  Their behavior is really awful – much like the behavior of many adults.  But leave it to good ole Charlie Brown and his quietly intelligent pal Linus to get them to focus on what’s important.  There is a reason that, even today, every kid my kids have a play date with has a DVD of this treasure on the shelf between the Dora the Explorer and the Robo-transmorphatron adventures.

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2.  Bolt:  You know, Disney sure comes in for a lot of grief – some of it deserved – but this animated story of a little girl and her loyal dog is fantastic on every level.  It’s a technical marvel – the visuals are stunning.  But it’s more than that.  The ending is a powerful evocation of a family learning to appreciate what is important.  Throughout, it’s sad, funny, and stirring, plus it carries a powerful message about bravery and sacrifice.  When Bolt refuses to leave his little girl as a building burns around them, all I could think of is how great it was to finally see a movie that honors courage without turning it into some sort of ironic joke.

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3.  The Wizard of Oz:  This is a Thanksgiving perennial on those non-communist Ted Turner networks.  This vivid fantasy is celebrating its 70th anniversary this year and still kicks butt over just about everything that’s been released since.  You can even see its cultural impact in the Avatar trailer, where the grizzled Marine commander announces to his troops: “You’re not in Kansas anymore.”  There are flying monkeys, melting witches, dwarfs and/or midgets – plus a wonderful lesson about being thankful for what you have been given.   What more could you want?

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4.  The Shawshank Redemption:  This grim prison drama is included for one reason – the scene where the clever Tim Robbins makes a deal with the guards to do a hot, dirty job for them and ends up enjoying a bucket of cold Cokes on the roof with Morgan Freeman and their pals.  That scene provides some useful perspective about the meaning and value of material goods, enjoying the fruits of one’s labors, and the importance of freedom.

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5.  The Sound of Music:  Yeah, it’s a little on the sugary side.  And yeah, I have a beef with it because it gave my mother the bright idea to inflict the first name of one of the lederhosen-clad yodelers upon me.  But this is a true family film in every sense of the word – it both celebrates family and you can safely watch it with your family without having to worry that you’ll end up having to explain some manner of perversion to your five-year old.  The widower Baron von Trapp falls for the beautiful governess he hires to wrangle his Teutonic task force during the first two thirds of the film.  The last act focuses on their attempt to flee Austria after the Nazis decide to “invite” the Baron to take a commission in the German navy.  Christopher Plummer’s righteous anger as he tears down a swastika flag will thrill anyone with a love of freedom, and his composure as he faces down the young brownshirt is awesome.  The von Trapps do, of course, escape (though not necessarily to “Climb Every Mountain”) and in reality they ended up in America.  We can all be thankful that we are lucky enough to live in the place where the world’s oppressed want to be.

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6.  Mr. Smith Goes to Washington:  We can be thankful both for a government where, despite all the corruption and cronyism, our voices will eventually be heard.  And we can be thankful for men like Jimmy Stewart, not only a great actor but a veteran who flew perilous bomber missions over Germany when he could have safely flown a desk.

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7.  Blackhawk Down:  Why list a war movie on a list of Thanksgiving films?  Because we should all be damn thankful that we have men (and women) out there like the Americans who fought it out against overwhelming odds in Mogadishu in October 1993.  The fierce loyalty those troops showed, braving incredible odds to rescue their comrades from the Somali militia hordes, should give us pause to reflect on the price of the great material and spiritual bounty our nation enjoys.  America didn’t just happen – it was earned.  Today, tens of thousands of Americans are overseas continuing to earn it this Thanksgiving.  And if you are so inclined, you might want to say “Thanks” with a donation to The Wounded Warrior Project.

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8.  Planes, Trains and Automobiles:  The best John Hughes “adult” movie, and possibly his best movie overall.  Steve Martin is the uptight businessman trapped in a hilarious odyssey of misfortunes with John Candy’s lovable slob as he desperately tries to make it home to his family for Thanksgiving.  It’s funny.  It’s really, really funny, as literally everything that can go wrong goes astonishingly wrong.  Cars catch fire, wallets are stolen, deer are resurrected and buns are mistaken for pillows.  But beneath it all is the kind of heart missing from so much of the soulless, cookie-cutter dreck that passes for comedy today.  The ending truly sums up the spirit of Thanksgiving and highlights the kind of generosity of spirit that comes naturally to most Americans.  And there is another thing to be thankful for – the joy that John Candy brought to all of us during his far too short life.

This year, I’m particularly thankful to be in the USA for Thanksgiving.  Whether you are home with your loved ones, or serving our country overseas, Happy Thanksgiving.

Set in 1986 Iran – the Islamic Republic of Iran – Stoning is a gut-wrenching film with haunting music.  Nowrasteh’s movie, set to open June 26, is based on a book about the crime by French-Iranian journalist Freidoune Sahebjam. 

The film opens with Freidoune (James Caviezel) breaking down in his car on his way to the border.  Spending unwanted hours in a small village, he is approached by Zahra (Shohreh Aghdashloo), a woman the villagers try to shoo away as they call her crazy.  But Zahra has a terrible secret.  She does all she can to get word to the journalist about a terrible injustice committed in the village the previous day when her niece, Soraya M. (Mozhan Marnò), falsely accused of adultery by her cheating husband, Ali (Navid Negahban), was stoned to death per Islamic law. 

Stoning’s premise, repeated with numbing regularity around the world today, is made all the more pressing by the masses of Iranians protesting in the streets today while the brutal Basij militia tries to beat them into submission.  But it’s one thing for a stoning of an accused “adulteress” to occur in Somalia, and quite another for it to happen in the soon-to-be-nuclear-armed Islamic Republic of Iran.  If a nation thinks nothing of stoning women to death for the “crime” of adultery while killing peaceful protesters, it takes no imagination to think of what they will do when in possession of a nuclear bomb.  

The film is tightly put together and the acting is natural and intense.  The actors mostly speak Farsi throughout the film, but they communicate volumes, relegating the captions to a supporting role.  Nowrasteh effortlessly allows his film to unfold.  He gradually builds tension, while adding depth to the main characters’ soul.  The end is inevitable as it is jarring, with the males of the village engaging in the collective guilt of the stoning while most of the women watch and wail.  The act of stoning takes away the village’s “dishonor” one stone at a time, according to the mullah. 

It is no small task to adapt a book to the screen, especially a book of the intensity of Sahebjam’s work, but Betsy Giffen Nowrasteh and Cyrus Nowrasteh have done the job with the precision of a brain surgeon.  The husband and wife team add nothing more than needed, while everything needed remains.   

Lastly, a note about John Debney’s music: it is beyond superb.  With a cast and crew of Iranian expatriates making a film about life in the Islamic Republic of Iran, Nowrasteh could have easily settled for a selection of traditional Persian folk music.  This would have been true to form, but likely would have missed the opportunity to tightly tailor the music to the requirements of film while appealing to wider audiences.  It is interesting to see that Debney worked on “Passion of the Christ” (for which Debney was nominated for an Academy Award) along with Caviezel five years ago.  Clearly Debney has developed a talent for producing Mideast-themed music for the big screen. 

Cyrus Nowrasteh’s “The Stoning of Soraya M.” could not have come at a better time for the world.  While Iranians struggle to transcend tyranny and most Americans, including our President, remain rooted in inaction, Stoning proves that Hollywood’s capacity to combat evil is still intact.

If you don’t believe that liberalism is a serious malady, consider that Paul Krugman of the New York Times, when addressing Sonia Sotomayor’s remark about an Hispanic woman being better qualified than a white man to be a judge, said that she was merely being entertaining.  Even if Mr. Krugman is, as his comment suggests, more easily entertained than a backward three-year-old, I have a feeling that he wasn’t nearly as forgiving when Trent Lott, on the occasion of Strom Thurmond’s 100th birthday in 2002, said it was a shame that the old Dixiecrat hadn’t been elected president in 1948.Yet another recent example of liberalism in action took place at Harvard, where bright young people go to have their brains exchanged for a pound of hay and humongous egos.  It seems that the mucky-mucks at the university found $1.5 million lying around and decided that the best possible use for the money was to create a visiting professorship in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender studies.  I guess the good news is that if Barney Frank decides to do us all a big favor and get out of politics, there’s a job opening at his alma mater.  

Speaking of liberal goofiness brings us inevitably to Barack Hussein Obama, as he now proudly identifies himself — at least when he’s addressing Muslims, praising Muslims and, as usual, slandering America.  By the way, isn’t it the least bit odd that he never condemns Muslim-extremists for clinging to their religion and their suicide bombs?  And even if you’re a liberal, doesn’t it seem peculiar that during his speech in Egypt, he didn’t take a moment to mention how much blood and national treasure America has spent — and, I would suggest, wasted — defending Muslims in Somalia, Kuwait, Iraq, Kosovo and Afghanistan? 

But, then, we mustn’t forget that this is the same chap who went to France and took the opportunity to apologize for America’s arrogance without once mentioning the number of American G.I.s who died, making sure that the French wouldn’t have to give up wine and foie gras for beer and bratwurst. 

By the way, do you think the day will ever come when he’ll quit apologizing for America’s arrogance and apologize for his own? 

Before setting off for the Middle East, where he gave a thumbs-up to Iran’s nuclear program while condemning Israel for building houses, Obama mentioned that America is home to one of the world’s largest Muslim populations.  As anyone with even a passing interest in facts would know, there are roughly three million Muslims in the United States.  Just to give you some idea of how far off Obama was, Indonesia has 195 million, Pakistan has 160 million, India has 154 million.  Even Burkina Faso, a place you’ve never even heard of, has seven million.  There are, as one of his advisers should have told him before he shot off his mouth, roughly 40 countries in the world with larger Muslim populations than America. 

But, then, as we all know, Obama has notoriously weak math skills.  It certainly explains why he announced during the campaign that that the U.S. is made up of 57 states.  Heck, it may even help explain the way he tosses around our money.  It’s a scary thought, but isn’t it just possible that he can’t really tell the difference between million, billion and trillion? 

BurtPrelutsky@aol.com

They plunder. They kidnap. They ransom. They steal. They kill. They are destroying the fabric of world civilization.

They are pirates, and piracy must be stopped.

Yes, Hollywood is filled with terrible individuals that must be reigned in.

Sure, I could blame Somalia for the problem, but they are starving. I blame Hollywood for glorifying pirates everywhere.

Therefore, the solution is to crack down on piracy at the source.

First of all, Johnny Depp must be arrested. For one thing, nine hours of screen time glorifying evildoers must be punished. More importantly, a girl once dragged me to see “the Libertine.” She was too depressed afterward for (redacted), so now J-Depp must be Deep-sixed as a consolation booty prize.

While Johnny Depp is the most well known pirate cell, the problem goes back generations. Therefore, we need to arrest Gilbert and Sullivan. This will be difficult since W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan were both dead by 1911. Their next of kin must be brought to Guantanamo Bay (still barely open for business) until every scoundrel behind “H M S Pinafore” is brought to justice.

The military court would have Celebrity President Barack Obama  reprising the role of Tom Cruise, as he grills Jack Nicholson.

Obama/Cruise–”Colonel Nathan R. Jessup, is it true that you never got sick at sea?”

Nicholson–”I have neither the time, nor the inclination, to explain myself to you! You can’t handle the truth!”

Obama/Cruise–”I will ask you one more time, is it true that you never got sick at sea?”

Nicholson–”No! Never!”

Obama/Cruise–”"Never?”

Nicholson–”Hardly Eeeevvvvvvvveeeeeeerrrrrrrr!”

Any pirate that ever set foot in Hollywood would be turned over to the authorities.

We could start by arresting members of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Retired players would be easy to catch since they are slower to escape. If Willie Stargell and Dave Parker ever played a road game against the Dodgers, they are fair game. In fact, their next of kin must also be taken into custody. Special Forces must immediately get Peter Parker, Star Parker and Larry Parker.

Actually, just waterboard Larry. He sues people.

Pirates have been causing financial pain to people for as long as pain has existed.

Therefore, any Capital One executives spotted in Los Angeles should immediately be taken down, by lethal force if necessary. As soon as they ask what is in my wallet, they should be taken out with a bazooka.

Then we have to go after the Free Credit Report.Com guys.

“Free, credit, report.com…should have seen it coming at me, like an atom bomb…”

If President Obama truly is against torture, then he shall ban those commercials.

Everybody associated with “Muppet Treasure Island” can be incarcerated except for Animal. I always liked Animal. Besides, he is crazy. I am glad he is on our side.

Geena Davis should be rounded up not just for “Cutthroat Island,” but for forcing the idea of a woman President upon a nation that is not ready (At this point feminists can shut up. Hillary herself blamed sexism for her America-saving loss.). I don’t mind Margaret Thatcher or Allison Taylor on “24,” but not Gina or Hill-Dawg.

Robin Williams is a Hollywood liberal, and “Hook” requires that he get hooked. Long John Silver gets an exemption because I have been to his restaurant and like his fish basket. If I am confusing this with Arthur Treacher’s on Long Island, then take out Long John as well.

Lastly, every record executive must immediately be keelhauled. They need to face the barnacles because their unwillingness to adapt has led to the most dangerous form of criminal activity from China to the left coast.

Yes, music pirates are out of control. True, the record executives reduced Napster to cr@pster, but in the end the pirates won. The record executives retaliated by putting out even worse music. After all, if everything in popular music today is complete garbage, fewer people will want to steal it.

Software pirates are too geeky to be associated with Hollywood, and many of they have already been punished enough by being forced to live in the giant Waterworld (Kevin Costner obliterated 200 million dollars on that movie, a true piracy bomb that Somalis can envy.) known as Seattle.

Lastly, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers should all be executed. I am giving the Oakland Raiders an exemption, because I am a fan of the team. Also, the Raiders died as a winning franchise six years ago, after a brutal firefight against the Buccaneers.

Jon Gruden coached both of those teams, and he made the list of People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People.

I am still bummed over that Raiders-Buccaneers Super Bowl. Send Gruden to Somalia.

Some may disagree with my approach to the War on Terror, but based on our new leader’s approach, little of what I suggested is worse.

I just wish the government profile of terrorists with erratic beards would be updated. At some point we have to face the fact that my local Chabad Rabbi is innocent, as are the guys in ZZ Top.

Santa Claus is guilty. For one, he is anti-Semitic (let Simon Wiesenthal explain why my house kept getting skipped), and secondly, he has to get those toys from somewhere.

Santa is a pirate. Oh great. Now we have to execute Tim Allen.

eric  aka the Tygrrrr Express

blacktygrrrr@earthlink.net

http://www.tygrrrrexpress.com