[Ed. Note: For a refresher course, you can watch every Super Bowl ad right here.]

Before I get started on my review of this year’s Super Bowl commercials I want to come to the aid of a lady in distress. Can we lay off of Christina Aguilera and her muffed line in the National Anthem? Look, she was nervous, under pressure, and out of her element. The NFL asked her to sing fully clothed and without a stripper pole to hang onto. While I’m on the subject of the Nation Anthem why can’t the football players show a little respect when the country is being honored? Their sideline slouching was shameful! Roger Goodell, get out your paddle and take some of those guys to the woodshed.

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Once again, the folks who thought Super Bowl 45  was a good way to spend their investors dollars, spent slightly more than the gross national product of Niger and Ethiopia combined with, in most cases, very mediocre results. With so many ads it’s hard in a short piece to hit them all so I am skipping all the promos and movie trailers although the Fox/House parody of the 1980 Mean Joe Green was one of my favorites.

I think I have finally figured out that GoDaddy.com is run by a horny fifteen year old boy out of his parents’ basement. What in the world does trying to make me think Joan Rivers is hot have to do with getting a domain name? Joan is a safe distance from “hot” no matter how many body doubles they used. I don’t know how much money Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels are paid to debase themselves in what year after years have been the unsexiest and unfunniest ads, but it isn’t nearly enough. The ads beg us to go to their website to see the “uncensored” endings to the ads. I wonder how many frustrated high school boys went to GoDaddy thinking they were going to see Ms. Patrick and Ms. Michaels in the buff but only found a lame joke/dance number instead. Can someone tell me who GoDaddy’s biggest competitor are because I am moving my domain name.

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Sure, her Super Bowl Snickers commercial was pretty funny, but it’s been three months now and Betty White Mania seems to be getting only more maniacal:

We haven’t covered this trend too much here at Big Hollywood on account of the fact that we’re not sure we get it. So, explain it to us. What do you think about the Betty White fad?

Also, don’t miss her “Happy Mother’s Day, Motherf****rs” sketch that we are unable to embed.

Super Bowl ads have become a competition themselves and are often better than the game. At a reported cost of over $3 million for a thirty-second spot it would be hard for me to imagine that any of the ads are cost effective but it’s not my money, so roll the tape!  Judging from some ads there are either a lot of advertisers who don’t want conservatives to buy their products or a there are a lot of liberals making television advertisements.

Qualcomm’s combined leftist ideology and male bashing in its two ads featuring a guy who is “spineless” and a heavy political video montage by Obama idolater Will.i.am. I guess his stage name is supposed to be clever but it makes me think he was just raised on a little too much Dr. Seuss. Can you imagine the flack a company would get if it let Ann Coulter or Glenn Beck produce a video montage for its Super Bowl commercial? Watch the above clip for visuals of everything from Castro to Al Gore “winning” Florida.

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