Comedian Pablo Francisco confesses he doesn’t know how to attach a photograph to an email. But Francisco is more than savvy enough to leverage the web to bring his comedy to a worldwide stage.

YouTube videos of Francisco imitating everyone from Arnold Schwarzenegger to that movie voice-over guy (Don LaFontaine) have helped the comedian break big across the globe.

“The Internet is such a beautiful thing,” says Francisco, who recently returned from his third trip to Australia and has also played in South Africa. Comedy pals warned him about being unable to connect with crowds while traveling abroad – “good luck with the language barrier, dude,” they told him. Turns out the YouTube videos of his act arrived well before he did.

“They’re getting the comedy … they love YouTube,” he says. “They have the same Burger Kings, the same 7-11s.”

Besides, Francisco’s kind of comedy hardly needs a translator.

“I’m doing it just the way Benny Hill was doing it … everybody likes goofiness, everybody likes messing around, as long as it’s done with soul,” he says.

Anyone can become a YouTube sensation today, but Francisco notes not everyone can write their own material. It’s here where his embrace of the Web casts him apart from a cute kitten or warbling toddler.

Francisco’s latest Comedy Central special, “They Put it Out There,” is now available on DVD. The concept behind the DVD, and his act in general, is simple. If someone dares to enter the public arena, be it that Shamwow guy “who looks like he farted and kept the face,” or a family of reality show dwarves, then it’s fair game for Francisco.

“It’s OK to make fun of them. They put it out there. I’m not a bully,” he explains.

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In 1962, John F. Kennedy noted that “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard…” However, according to “Transformers: Dark of the Moon,” the actual reason we went to the moon was to investigate a “Transformer” crash-landing there. Unfortunately, the film’s focus on rewriting history is one of the very few good things about the third installment in this tired series.

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Both this installment and the “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” have made me question my enjoyment of the original. I’ve seen “Transformers” since it arrived in theaters but now that I’ve seen the sequels it spawned, it’s hard to explain how the filmmakers went so wrong in what could have been a fun and exciting series. Both sequels  are overlong affairs, completely devoid of excitement or intrigue.

“Dark of the Moon” begins with a strong action sequence in space showing the battle for Cybertron. With 3D glasses, this battle and several other action sequences are impressive. Reminiscent of the battle sequence from the original “Star Wars,” this scene shows what can be done with the use of strong special effects and 3D.

Soon enough, the story begins rewriting history. Intermixed with clips of actors playing Presidents Nixon and Kennedy, real footage shows the former presidents talk about our nation’s first trip to the moon but the film argues that our goals on the moon were far different than what was stated publicly. Like in “X-Men,” an alternate reality is created using real-life events to supplement the story and in both stories, this alternate history lesson works well. Unfortunately, neither the strong special effects or rewriting history can overcome the story’s shortcomings.

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I imagine that in seeking a replacement for the discarded Megan Fox in the Transformers series, two qualifications were foremost in the filmmakers’ minds: one, a talent for wearing very tight clothing; and, two, the ability to scurry through fields of smoking rubble in kicky high heels. The woman—the actress, I suppose—who met these requirements was Rosie Huntington-Whitely, an English Victoria’s Secret model. Rosie lacks Fox’s forthright wenchiness, but you’ll be happy to know that…

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Well, who cares, really? Huntington-Whitely is the designated babe in this third Transformers destruct-a-thon. Shia LaBeouf, unlikeliest of action men, is back as young Sam Witwicky, friend to the noble Autobots, scourge of the evil Decepticons. And series regulars John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, and Josh Duhamel, all returning for another tent-pole paycheck, are joined this time around by John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, and designated supporting stud Patrick Dempsey. It’s a crowded movie, especially after packing in Optimus Prime, Megatron, and all the other clanking behemoths once again on hand. But who would have it any other way?

Writer Ehren Kruger, who worked on the last Transformers film (the widely reviled Revenge of the Fallen), here had script duties all to himself, and he has fashioned a narrative of ornate silliness—which is to say, pretty good pulpy fun, when it’s not engulfed by digital hubbub. In a brisk prologue, we learn that America’s 1969 Apollo flight was actually a mission to investigate a mysterious alien spaceship that had crashed on the dark side of the moon, and to bring back its payload of mysterious alien technology. That mission, in this telling, was accomplished.

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Way back in 1987, filmmaker Oliver Stone achieved an amazing double-whammy at the box office and Academy Awards with the one-two punch of “Wall Street” and “Platoon.” While “Platoon” managed to win Best Picture and “Wall Street” scored the Best Actor Oscar for Michael Douglas, it’s Douglas’ iconic performance as slimy stock trading magnate Gordon Gekko that has stood the test of time and remains eminently quotable to this day. Most impressively, both films said something profound about American society and the human condition.

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Cut to nearly a quarter-century later, and Stone has lost some his clout after spending the past decade making films that were all over the map politically and stylistically. He’s created a family-values, all-American take on 9/11 in “World Trade Center” as well as the off-the-charts lefty documentary “South of the Border” on Hugo Chavez and other leftist South American leaders this year, with a surreal and surprisingly sympathetic biopic on President George W. Bush in “W.” in between.

Now, however, he’s returned to some of his strongest territory by showing what happens when Gordon Gekko is unleashed on the financial industry amid the meltdown of 2008 in his new sequel, “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.” And it’s a welcome return to form from a master who tops the first film in many ways.

The new film replaces the first’s stellar star turn by a young Charlie Sheen with another twentysomething hotshot, Jake Moore, played by Shia LaBeouf. LaBoeuf thankfully steps into Sheen’s shoes with a performance that covers all the bases from the callow cockiness of youth through his despair over losing everything around him to the romantic determination of a guy who just wants to win back his girl, even if it means losing the world. (more…)

Yawn. “Wall Street 2.” Yeah, I liked the first one. Michael Douglas is awesome in that movie and pretty much everything he does. I mean, who else could rock the V-neck sweater with no T-shirt like he did in “Basic Instinct” and still look cool?

Another needless sequel. Whatever.

What got my attention was the “money line” in the trailer (pun fully intended). Douglas says “I once gave a speech that said greed was good. Now, apparently, it’s legal.” Wow is that stupid.

Of course greed is legal. So is ambition. So is hard work. So is having a big ego. So what?

Leftists constantly whine about “greed” as if that desire is the root cause of all misery and evil in the world. Greed alone does nothing. I can sit on my couch all day watching TiVoed episodes of “Nip/Tuck” eating Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and declare myself “greedy” without accomplishing anything.

And no, you can not have one of my Reese’s Cups. They are crazy delicious and they are all mine. (more…)

Twenty-three years have passed since the first ”Wall Street” and a decade since news of an upcoming Oliver Stone movie elicited anything above the level of an eye roll. A director who once captured and even created a  zeitgeist is now pathetically chasing after it like a dollar bill tied to a string.

After the disastrous “Alexander,” both “World Trade Center” and “W.” were essentially television-level productions self-consciously obvious in their desperation to feel relevant. Arguably, “WTC” ended up being an above-average TV movie but “W.” was a complete embarrassment for everyone involved, especially those Leftist critics who carried its water one percentage below a fresh rating. And now comes a sequel nobody wanted with a truly terrible title: “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps,” which hits theatres April 23rd.

And as with all Shia LaBeouf movies, the first question that must be asked is: Shia LaBeouf?

Go back and watch the original “Wall Street.” It’s a terrific film with some great acting courtesy of Martin Sheen and Michael Douglas and a compelling story that immediately grabs you as you’re taken on a tour of how things work in the fascinating world of the stock market at the very top level. One of my favorite shots in all films is our first glimpse of Douglas’s Gordon Gekko through his office door just before it closes. Just like Charlie Sheen’s young Bud Fox, oh how we want to know what goes on in there. Great moviemaking.  (more…)

My Uncle Luciano (we call him Tío Chano) has been living with us for several months now and I’ve been worried about him. He spends all his time holed up in his room obsessing about politics and the state of the culture. I urged him recently to get out more, maybe see a movie or something. “What movie?” he asked. I answered offhandedly, “I don’t know, something escapist, like ‘Transformers 2.’” I lent him the keys to my car and off he went to the movies.

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I make silly, fun movies.  Stuff you pick up at your local Blockbuster or watch on the Sci-fi Channel.  I’ve always said that most of my films, because of budget limitations, end up being “two star” movies, but with a six pack and some friends, they become exceedingly enjoyable experiences.

One source of endless enjoyment for me and my co-workers is watching how the various buyers (DVD, television, and international) market the films.  The trailers, posters, and commercials  are wildly different depending on who the intended audience is.  As an example, in the U.S. my latest film is called “Chrome Angels.” It’s a sci-fi/action/comedy about a female biker gang that runs into a town populated by evil cyborgs. At the Cannes Film Market, the distributor is calling it “Cyborg Conquest.”  The trailer and poster don’t even reference female bikers, motorcycles, or comedy.  They, instead, are selling it as a serious action film centered on CGI cyborgs that don’t actually appear in the film. (more…)