In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Swine Flu, Mexico, Supreme Court Justice David Souter. Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Arlen Specter, President Obama’s press conference, Chrysler, George Stephanopoulos, Sean Penn, and Daily Show Host Jon Stewart.
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Sean Penn used to settle his differences with a solid right hook, but now, because he’s so deep in the abyss of Statist nothingness, all he can muster in his latest Huffington Post blog is fool’s pride for a sinister smile. It’s sinister because it’s disengenuous and it’s fool’s pride because Sean Penn is literally a fool.
I guess liberals (in the Hollywood sense, not the true meaning of the word) have gotten so carried away with their own assault on the meaning of words they no longer realize their favorite place to post these silly, meaningless rants is actually mocking them.
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I’ve been in show business my entire life. I started as an obnoxious young child actor. I’ve been around actors my whole life. For the most part, they’re wonderful, sweet people. Some are very, very talented. Most are well meaning.
The truth is though: acting isn’t rocket science. And most actors, myself very much included, are not, as the saying goes, rocket scientists.
Rocket scientists, on the other hand, are very, very smart. Ever talk to one? I have. I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. He was all “aeroelasticity” this and “avionics” that, and I just stood there for twenty minutes nodding my head as if I knew what he was talking about. Which I didn’t because, as I’ve stated above, I’m an actor. Which means I’m no rocket scientist.
Now, take every single interview with every single actor you have ever heard on radio, saw on television, or read in the learned journals of People or Us or Tiger Beat. How many times in your life have you ever walked away saying (for example): “Wow, I knew Tony Danza was a delightful and engaging television personality, but I had no idea he was so smart! Clearly, much smarter than I could ever hope to be! Who’s the boss? You, super smart Tony Danza, that’s who!” (more…)
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Disparaging Sean Penn’s brainpower is somewhat like picking on Roseanne Barr’s lack of charm. It’s redundant and superfluous and altogether unnecessary.
At the risk of writing something redundant, superfluous and altogether unnecessary, I’m going to go for it anyway.
I’ll start with an understatement. Sean Penn is not one of the world’s more intelligent men. Yet his moral and mental deficiencies have not stopped him from posting his alleged thoughts over at Huffington Post.
His latest expression of genius bemoans criticism of President Obama – which is not particularly shocking, considering that Penn has had his nose so far up Obama’s posterior for the past few months that there’s a good argument to be made that he’s personally convincing Obama of the need to rethink his position on gay marriage. (more…)
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Here’s a hint:
Sean Penn and Bono were friends/admirers of this poet and I wonder if they are aware of this very pertinent and timeless poem which reflects today’s “progressive” hypocritical agenda.
I will reveal the rest of the poem and the artist this weekend, a poet I had the great fortune of having met as a very young man in high school at the studio of an artist and friend.
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Watching this video, I know that many of you will have a few questions; “Canadians dislike Americans?”, “Why do they speak so weirdly?” and of course “… There’s a country to the North of us?” As merely a half-Canuck, I’m afraid that I cannot answer all of these questions. You’ll have to head up to the Great White North and find out for yourself. Folks, Canada is a great place to visit but (despite what Obama will tell other nations), there is no greater land than the U.S of A. and I’m grateful to live here… It’d be better if we could boot Sean Penn, though.
Note: If you do decide to visit, Beware the Canadian brew… Moonshine’s got nothing on that business.
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In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: North Korea’s missle launch, Pep Boys, Queen Elizabeth’s iPod gift, Best Buy, Obama bows to Saudi Arabian King, TelePrompter, Tea Parties, Obama’s illegal alien aunt, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Penn, Madonna, and Miley Cyrus.
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If you’re wondering if I was about to opine on the craft of gut-twisting horror stories, you’d only be half right. I’m actually talking about real life here. As many of you may know from my earlier posts, I first flame-throwered onto the scene here at Big Hollywood about a month ago, on the occasion of Team Oscar’s could-not-be-more-ill-advised taking off for the unfriendly skies of Islamist Iran.
I knew they were going to get punked! They were going to Punkedville! In fact, I was so sure of it, I was the one who broke the story in the US off the French wires to Drudge and Nikki Finke. One Hollywood Jihadi PR roadside bomb detonated. War Is Hell.
Look at their trip from my POV. I remember the whole balls-to-the-wall anti-Apartheid campaign from the mid-eighties. ‘I Ain’t Gonna Play Sun City,’ remember? By the way, wasn’t Little Stevie great in that video? Love him! Point being, if the racist South African apartheid regime was unworthy of cultural exchange, why was the gay-hanging, women-stoning, child-executing, blogger-killing, hostage-taking fascist regime in Iran worthy of a gold-plated Academy PR kiss? (more…)
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In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Iraq War Protestors, GM, Chrysler, Zac Efron, Obama’s Budget, John Mellencamp, Sean Penn, Three Stooges, and Gwyneth Paltrow
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Many of you may not know this, but before my Hollywood escapades I was once the world’s most sought after fight analyst. By “sought after,” I mean that I was swiftly escorted off of The Fertitta Brothers property with a resume in hand and tears on my face. In light of this, I’ve decided to compile a list of a few dream matchups between political pundits, writers and celebrity know-it-alls, as well as an in depth analysis of each bout. From Michael Moore to Robert Downey Jr., all of your favorites are here. I would encourage you to post your own fantasy match-ups, as well. It will be a veritable Elitist Royal Rumble. A good time shall be had by all (Sean Penn not withstanding)!
Ann Coulter vs. Katie Couric - At first glance it may look like “Hearns vs Hagler 2.0.” Ann Coulter (Tommy Hearns) has the obvious reach advantage, while Couric’s got those power-projecting hips that can knock you off of your feet. I see Couric implementing a lot of footwork however (as displayed by her constant dancing around tough questions), while trying to avoid any real damage. Expect the confidence factor to come into play as Coulter flicks a long but snappy jab, jousting Couric all the way into the final stanza. (more…)
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Notice how I avoided using the word “Retarded?” I’ve seen that many conservatives have developed a sudden hyper-sensitivity for the disabled this week, so I’ve opted to tread lightly.
The truth is that atheism is literally a “retarded” philosophy in the sense that it is very “late to the table” in its thinking. Atheists will tell you that religion impedes the progress of man. To that I say “Poppycock!”, and that atheism has no place in a civilized society. Think I’m wrong? Let me know, amigos.
…Yes, I used the word “poppycock,” and no I don’t wear a monocle.
The biggest problem with atheism is that it’s a philosophy which, at its very core, diminishes the value of life. If we were simply spawned from a puddle of gook, human life has no intrinsic value. Human worth is ultimately left up to societal circumstances, and that’s never a good thing… Especially if said society is Hollywood. (more…)
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Cancer is no laughing matter. AIDS on the other hand, can be hilarious…. But I digress. A friend of mine went in for a prostate cancer operation this weekend. The whole ordeal lead me to a painful realization: If you get a disease, you’d better hope that it’s one with a celebrity “march for the cure.” Chances are that if Bono isn’t singing about it, you’re probably dying from it. Is anybody else as sickened by this as I am?
AIDS is still the most funded disease around (by the American taxpayer) despite its insignificance on the fatality radar and the fact that in the industrialized world it’s entirely preventable. AIDS doesn’t just “happen” to you here in the U.S.A. You sort of have to seek out those high risk…activities. While countless people die of other more prevalent, non-communicable sicknesses, Hollywood has made AIDS benefits trendier than torn Levi’s. (more…)
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At last, the long-suffering people of Darfur should rest easy. The International Criminal Court (ICC) has finally issued an unenforceable, meaningless arrest warrant to bring Sudan’s murderer of a president, Omar Hassan al-Bashir, to justice. In case you did not get a chance to read the fine print, the indictment actually exonerates al-Bashir from charges of genocide but does subject him to arrest for war crimes and crimes against humanity. This is the international community’s desperately awaited message that will send shivers down the spines of Sudanese thugs. In fact, al-Bashir is already partying in public, mocking the ICC’s theatrics.
Nonetheless, human rights groups and fashionable Darfur activists are heralding the development as a breakthrough. And although I have yet to read any statements from actor George Clooney, he must be beaming with pride given his secret meeting with President Obama several weeks ago to discuss this issue. While we do not know the exact contents of the Obama-Clooney discussion, al-Bashir’s indictment led me to speculate on how that conversation might have unfolded. (more…)
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If anyone wrote a script like this, no one would believe it.
But I already read the book.
That they even went to Iran in the first place was an abomination, especially given their three-hour gay rights infomercial called The Oscars just five days earlier.
And it only kept getting worse. (more…)
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The film industry in Hollywood is the most rewarded vocational field in the world. Having been a part of the “Big Hollywood” launch team, I followed roughly forty-eight award shows this year. Generally, I would characterize them as slightly self-aggrandizing. By the way, I’m not confused; awards are nice (consult my bio), but why are there so many award shows? The people who win awards are rarely underappreciated. Take Kate Winslet for example, one of Hollywood’s most overrated actresses. I always feel I’m watching her act. Peter Mayhew was more organic as Chewbacca than Winslet as a suburban housewife in the off-putting “Revolutionary Road.” But Hollywood seemingly invents awards to celebrate Winslet and her ubiquitous bare breasts.
What irritates most is that while the shows may differ, the awards are roughly the same. In sports, there’s only one MVP, one Rookie of the Year. Yet every year, we are bombarded with the Oscars, the Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, and the BAFTAs. Not to mention all those snooty little film festivals in upscale ski towns. (more…)
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“Milk,” in which Sean Penn stars as Harvey Milk, the first openly gay politician elected to office in a major city, has become a liberal rallying point. Even more so in the wake of California’s passage of Proposition 8, a statewide ban on gay marriage. Too bad the film doesn’t tell the complete story of Milk, whose early support for Barry Goldwater and later championing of gay small businessmen show how much common ground the libertarian right and the civil-rights left can have. Milk was a much more complicated figure than many people realize.
The film has become a focal point for liberal anger. Some of its fans have urged a nationwide boycott against Cinemark movie theaters after Cinemark CEO Alan Stock donated $10,000 to the “Yes on 8″ campaign. “He should not profit from now showing ‘Milk’ in his theaters,” says the boycott website. Penn himself used his Academy Award acceptance speech for Best Actor to lecture Prop 8 supporters that they can “anticipate their great shame and the shame in the eyes of their grandchildren if they continue.” (more…)
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Inspired perhaps by President Obama’s “unclenched hand” approach to reaching out to “countries that don’t like us very much,” as his former opponent John McCain tepidly used to put it, an unofficial delegation from Hollywood’s Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (including current and former AMPAS presidents and Annette Bening, among others), has set out to visit Iran as part of a “cultural exchange.”
Bening, Iranian actress Fatemeh Motamed Aria and Alfre Woodard in Iran
Exactly what is being exchanged is unclear. Maybe Ms. Bening et al are lecturing President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the mullahs about “the shame they will see in their grandchildren’s eyes” over their denial of equal rights to gays in Iran. Ahmadinejad memorably told a howling audience at Columbia University in late 2007 that, “In Iran we don’t have homosexuals like in your country.” That’s because they are hanged there, which certainly marks the Mormon Church as lightweights when it comes to intolerance of gays. But for their part, Iranian cultural advisor Javad Shamaghdari laid out for the Hollywood representatives exactly what Iran wants in return: “We will believe Obama’s policy of change when we see change in Hollywood too.” (more…)
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The Academy Awards for 2008 have been handed out, and the “popular kids” have Oscars on their mantles, but the dirty little secret about winning awards is that you’ve gotta campaign for them. Thousands of dollars were spent by the distributors and filmmakers behind Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight), Milk (Focus Features), The Reader (Weinstein) and other assorted winners and nominees, but not all performances received that sort of big money backing.
I am an unabashed lover of the acting craft. I see virtually every movie, large and small, that passes through the US marketplace, and, taking nothing away from Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, Penelope Cruz and Heath Ledger, not all of 2008’s best performances have been recognized. I’m not going to be obvious here. Clint Eastwood was snubbed for Gran Torino, but he received lots of acclaim for the role including being named Best Actor by the National Board of Review. My goal is to highlight 10 performances from last year that have received virtually no acclaim in the US. Many of these roles can be found in hardly-seen, under-appreciated movies that came and went without much notice. Each and every one of these movies deserve a spot in your Netflix (or Blockbuster) cue. (more…)
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Sean Penn scolded opponents of something he called “Gay Marriage.” Apparently, he thinks gay marriage was made illegal in California. Certainly Sean, a lifelong resident of Hollywood, should recognize that gay marriage is perfectly legal and has roots all the way back to Cole Porter and Rock Hudson, both of whom are gay men who married (and wasn’t Penn married to Madonna?).
What’s not legal is same-sex marriage. (more…)
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George Clooney wasn’t at the Oscars Sunday night. Where was he? Apparently, Clooney was in Darfur – and he was planning to report back to President Obama about his trip. So far, so good; there are many issues in Darfur that need to be addressed right now. There’s only one problem: Clooney and the Hollywood phonies don’t want to address the real problems in the region.
If you’ve ever heard my radio show (which is heard on 260+ radio stations as well as XM and Sirius), you know that I respect intellectual honesty. If Harry Reid does something right, I praise him. When George W. Bush was wrong, I showed little mercy. But being fair-minded doesn’t mean spreading criticism equally. When I watch the left engage in their politics, it is more often than not wrought with intellectual dishonesty, for which I have little patience.
Hollywood loves to spout off about Darfur. They plaster “SAVE DARFUR!” bumper stickers on their Priuses. They shout “SAVE DARFUR!” at rallies. It’s become the battle cry of the left. But do they really understand what saving Darfur entails? Do they really understand what’s happening on the ground in Darfur?
Last year, I decided to find out the truth about Darfur. I had the opportunity to go to the region to help with humanitarian aid. It was an eye-opening, horrendous experience. (more…)
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I can’t watch the Oscars. Before this year, I literally cannot remember the last time I did. A few years ago my wife had to have an Oscar party because a visiting friend insisted, so I set up a television in the garage and watched “Team America: World Police” with a bunch of friends. Of course, we had to watch it twice, since the slobbering, tongue-kissing self-congratulation went on for over 4 hours.
This year was different. My friends and I wanted to see two things. I wanted to see Jerry Lewis get his award in the hopes he’d come out with thick glasses, buck teeth, and make a “Why didn’t I win for THE PATSY, you putzes!” speech. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. Instead, they treated Lewis like a Great-Aunt at a wedding nobody knows but is allowed to make a toast anyway. I guess today’s egomaniacs don’t respect their elder egomaniacs. (more…)
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The Academy Award members painted themselves as a bunch of Commie rats last night, when they applauded madly during Communist sympathizer Sean Penn’s gleeful greeting to them after winning an award for portraying an assassinated homosexual leader, “You Commie, homo-loving sons of guns!”
In the past, Penn has expressed support for Hugo Chavez, the Neo-Marxist dictator of Venezuela, and Communist dictator Fidel Castro of Cuba.
What Sean Penn and other Communist sympathizers in Hollywood refuse to recognize (at least publicly) is that American moviegoers usually reject movies that unabashedly promote a Communist or socialist viewpoint. (more…)
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*Warning: Extremely Offensive Material*
Since putting a “fatwa” on my head seems to be in vogue, I’m banking on getting my face on the cover of “GQ”. Get lost, Jude Law.
Sure, following the massive influx of violent threats, I could have opted to remove the most recent video. Everyone else (YouTube officials, in particular) seem to be kowtowing to these crazy Islamic cyber-fear-mongers. I’d rather be keel-hauled. (more…)
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When I first thought about writing this piece, I was only going to list my all-time favorite movies, breaking them down by decade. I was going to explain that these weren’t my idea of the greatest or most innovative films of the past 80 years or so, but merely the ones I have enjoyed the most, and in most cases have seen more than once.
Because the choices are totally subjective, a lot of movies you might expect to find — movies such as “Gone With the Wind,” “Lawrence of Arabia,” “Dr. Zhivago,” “The Godfather II,” “Easy Rider,” “All That Jazz,” “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” and “Bringing Up Baby” — aren’t included. The reason is that I didn’t enjoy them.
But before I got to it, along came the Oscars, and it would seem like a serious oversight not to comment. (more…)
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Though seeing Sean Penn deliver a “best actor” Academy Awards acceptance speech that was more taunt against political enemies than expression of gratitude toward industry friends made me click off, reading Ben Shapiro’s transcription of Penn’s graceless tirade clicked on a few neurons. “I think it is a good time for those who voted against gay marriage to contemplate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes. We need to have equal rights for everyone.”
Contra Sean Penn, and speaking as a Massachusettsan and not a Californian, I think it is a good time for those who imposed gay marriage to contemplate their great shame and the shame in their grandparents’ eyes. Liberals, perhaps out of contempt for what has come before or an agnosticism in the afterlife, don’t care or think about how they appear to the past. The imaginary future, where Sean Penn’s every view is conventional wisdom, instead serves as the anchor of their morality.
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A 23.3 rating this year, compared to last year’s record low of 21.9. The headlines read, ”Oscar Ratings on the Rise.” If George W. Bush ran the Academy they would read, ”Oscar Viewership Barely Keeps Up With Annual Increase in U.S. Population.”
First the highlights: (more…)
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Good news for the Motion Picture Academy. Despite the fact that the five Best Picture nominees had combined to gross less than $300M domestic by showtime, Oscar ratings were up considerably from last year’s all-time low. Early numbers show that the ABC telecast scored a 27 share, surging by 11% overall and by over 14% with TV’s “money demo” 18-49s. Compare that to last year when the show was down 25% in households from 2007 and down 30% among 18-49s.
The credit should go to producers Lawrence Mark and Bill Condon, although I can see why the streamlined show is a bit of a Rorschach test for viewers. If you love movies, and especially actors, last night’s show was respectful and enlightening. If you are inclined to dislike awards shows and actors, then the telecast would be pretty dreary.
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I am forecasting a coronation for Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight) at Sunday’s Academy Awards. My final predictions call for Slumdog wins in 8 of the 9 categories it is competing in including Best Picture and Best Director: Danny Boyle. The only place I think it will fail is in the Sound Mixing category where The Dark Knight (Warner Bros) may trump it.
Slumdog Millionaire is about to win the Hollywood's Grand Prize
The “Battle Royale” of the night is Mickey Rouke from The Wrestler (Fox Searchlight) vs. Sean Penn in Milk (Focus) in the Best Actor category. There have been two ties in major categories in Academy Award history. The first was in 1932 when Frederic March in Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde shared Best Actor with Wallace Beery for The Champ. (March had one more vote, but in that era, any finish within 3 votes was rules a tie.) Then in 1968, Katherine Hepburn for The Lion In Winter and Barbara Streisand for Funny Girl tied for Best Actress. If there was any justice, Rourke and Penn would share the award. In any other year, either of them would be a lock. Forced to make a pick, I’m going with Rourke.
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Tyler Perry’s decidedly un-Oscar Madea Goes to Jail (Lionsgate) is the box office story of Oscar weekend selling a massive $14.65M in opening day tickets with a possible $38M in sales expected for the weekend. But what about the Best Picture nominees, the supposed cool kids on the box office block?
Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight) is the odds-on Best Picture winner, and it expanded to about 600 additional playdates this weekend for a total screen count of 2,224. The other four contenders for Hollywood’s biggest prize, however, are on a combined 2,508 screens. That means that they are essentially done with their theatrical engagements in the US (barring a truly shocking upset). Even if you wanted to see the other four nominees, you might have trouble finding them at your local multiplex – especially if you live outside a major city.
(more…)
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Surely many gay Americans have seen Gus Van Sant’s Milk through tears of joy because it marks a long-hoped-for arrival. For the first time in mainstream entertainment (at least, this is the picture that got all the fanfare), the history of the gay rights movement is presented as an elemental and welcome part of the story of the U.S., and not as a sidebar or novel supplement to the Great Historical Narrative.
Gays deserve equal rights. As a human being, that’s the only position I can possibly hold. However, you can be in complete solidarity with the cause of gay rights and not care much for Milk. (Whether you will be allowed to claim that distinction sincerely is yet another question. During the last election, Slate’s Jacob Weisberg wrote that the only reason you might oppose Obama is that you are a bigot. Is that the only reason one might dislike the similarly politically correct Milk?) (more…)
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