Former Soviet dictator Mikhail Gorbachev celebrated his 80th birthday with a bash in London on Wednesday.  And celebrities were out in force to glorify the life of a dictator.  Tickets went as high as $160,000. Talk about surreal: the co-hosts were Sharon Stone and and Kevin Spacey.  Entertainment was provided by the aging rock bank The Scorpions. Sporty Spice of the Spice Girls (now Mel C) also showed up.

It was all wrapped around the theme “Mikhail Gorbachev: The Man Who Changed the World.”  The Moscow Times reports that Spacey and Stone were, err, “cheesy.”  Standing in front of neo-classical columns “decorated with pink curtains,”  the two co-hosts “continuously mangled various Russian names and concepts.”  Stone (who they described as “ditzy”) went through a number of dress changes and Spacey tried to crack a joke about perestroika that was, well, “mangled.”    In between The Scorpions sang their songs “Wind of Change”  and later “Rock You Like A Hurricane.” Spandex anyone?

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Ted Turner was given an award.  Then came a Russian pop group named Khor Turetskogo singing the old black spiritual,  ”Go Down Moses.”  Strange choice if you are celebrating the birthday of an atheist,  don’t you think? You can’t make this stuff up.

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For most non-Teutons the idea of German rock is not very appealing. The fatherland of Bach and Beethoven may well have produced many interesting experimental groups (Kraftwerk,  Einstürzende Neubauten etc) but on a global, top 40 level it’s an entirely different matter. Consider: 

1) The Scorpions- hair metal popular in the 80s, approximately as good as Winger.

2) KMFDM- plodding industrial metal from the late 80s/early90s.

3) That Nena chick of ‘99 luftballons’ fame. 

In short, a roster of acts so unnecessary that we could safely consign them to the same dark abyss as Croatian thrash or Russian hip hop and the human race would be none the poorer for it. And yet fortunately for the glory of popular Deustche musik this is not the end of the story- for in the mid 90s what rough beast slouched towards Germany to be born? Breathing flames and reveling in death and all manner of deviancy, its name was Rammstein. 

Formed in the early 1990s by veterans of several crap East German groups, Rammstein consisted of six men in their 30s who had grown up under communism. They took their name from Ramstein, a US military base where a terrible disaster had occurred during an air show in 1988, adding an extra ‘m’ to dislocate it slightly. With the Berlin Wall fallen, the band was now liberated to steal as many sounds and ideas as they desired. These included elements of classic heavy metal, industrial metal and gothic synth pop such as Depeche Mode; not to mention liberal appropriations from Laibach, a Slovenian group fascinated by the links between mass culture, pop music and totalitarianism. (If you have a few minutes I recommend you watch Laibach’s reinterpretations of Queen’s One Vision and Opus’ Life is Life: the originals will never sound the same again.) (more…)

A gaggle of concerned musicians has banded together to warn the world about global warming.

Huh? Is the world getting warmer? I had no idea. You would think the media, or the movie industry or any other information outlet for that matter would have told us about it by now.

Thank goodness Duran Duran and the Scorpions are here to set the record straight.

Yes, those ’80s rockers, along with actress and certified Truther Marion Cotillard, Youssou N’dour, Bob Geldorf, Khalil Fong and South African archbishop Desmond Tutu have cut a new tune available for free soon. (more…)