So it’s a fracas in France, with protesters throwing stones and smashing windows. Oil workers and garbage men are striking, causing a shortage of fuel, but no shortage of trash.

Let’s go to a protester, teacher Lidwine Mure, to explain:

“It’s important to come out because France wouldn’t be what it is today if the generations that came before us hadn’t taken to the streets.”

And…what is France today?

It’s bankrupt, Lidwine.

And…what’s driving this heroic protest? Oppression? Fascism? Threat of war?

No – vacations. Really.

You know how folks in France enjoy not working for really long periods of time? Well, it turns out that, after a while – when you don’t work, you can no longer pay for stuff – like the pensions that allow you to loaf around. (more…)

So according to a new poll by WorldPublicOpinion.org, Barack Obama is the most trusted political leader in the world. The poll was of nearly 20,000 residents of the largest nations, including even Macau. Oh how I love Macau. From my own experience, the authorities tend to look the other way when it comes to so many things.

So Obama was right: he truly is the citizen of the world, even as his own country is left wandering and confused. I suppose it’s easy, however, for Jabrail in Azerbaijan to swoon over Obam, when he’s not faced with cap and trade, nationalized health care, and those new mandatory curly light bulbs. But then again, in Azerbaijan, I guess you’re just happy to have any kind of light bulb. Even if it’s a candle shaped like a light bulb.

But I digress. The poll looked at “confidence ratings” and found that while Obama had the highest, and would “do the right thing regarding world affairs,” Vladimir Putin and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had the lowest. Now, these standings might mean something, if Obama actually had the balls to take advantage of them. I mean, what’s the use of being loved if you can’t actually scare the crap out of those who love you? It’s what confuses me most about our President. He chose initially to sit on the sidelines – as the people of Iran cried out for help – preferring to see which dude wins. A true leader, however, would know that it’s not the leaders who matter, but the people caught in the middle. (more…)

(Thundering tympanies, swirling spotlights)

Announcer

Live! From the fabulous Turtle Bay Ballroom at United Nations Headquarters, it’s the Rat Pack of Evil All-Star International Celebrity Roast of President Barack Obama!

(orchestra fanfare: ‘Make ‘Em Laugh’)

With Pyongyang funnyman Kim Jong-Il! Borscht Belt headliner Vlady Putin! Queen of Mean Liz Windsor! Saudi Sheik of Schtick King Abdullah! Beijing jokeslinger Hu Jintao! Wacky al Qaeda Caveman Ayman al-Zawahiri! Nick ‘the Knife’ Sarkozy! Sassy Wanda Sykes! South-of-the-border slapstick team Hugo Chavez and the Castro Brothers! Taliban Madman Mullah Omar! Jon Stewart! Lovable Libyan lush Muammar al-Ghadaffi! Grovelin’ Guvner Gordy Brown! Bashar “The Chin” al-Assad! The Hamas Fattah Dancers! And starring your Master of Ceremonies — that suntan man with a plan from Iran — that Persian with a nuclear perversion — Sheckyyyyyy Ahmedinejad!

(applause)

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Okay, okay, pipe down. Let’s get this thing over with, this straitjacket is a rental and my magic carpet is double-parked on East 43rd. Mohamed H. Prophet, will you get a load of the evil on the stage tonight? I haven’t seen this many bombs since Janeane Garofalo played the American Legion convention. (more…)