‘I Don’t Know How She Does It’ is a 90-minute long, unfunny sitcom exploiting the idea behind mommy guilt and career woman syndrome. Mommy guilt is when the mother works (a lot) and feels guilty for leaving her children at home, even more so when the husband is also well invested in his career.

—–

Kate (Sarah Jessica Parker) is an awkward financial executive, a wife, mother and the breadwinner in the family. She never appears ready for anything and throughout the whole movie her hair, make-up and sometimes wardrobe is a complete mess. Her husband (Greg Kinnear) and two young children miss her terribly when she has to travel for work, therefore having the plot center around the guilt trip. Kate hates being stuck between her family and career, yet she still doesn’t seem to have a grasp onto either.

Kate is definitely depicted more as a career woman than a mom in the film. She can’t resist traveling 2-3 days a week to meet with her firm’s newly acquired client, Jack (Pierce Brosnan, still breathtakingly handsome), who plays the all-mighty businessman nicely. Jack presents the possibility of something anew in Kate’s life, but its not carried out and never developed as another option.

The film tries to do interviews with its supporting cast throughout the film, which fails horribly. It worked in ‘When Harry Met Sally’ with the married couples and in ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ with the singles actively dating in Baltimore, but it just didn’t pan over well in this film. Kate’s best friend (Christina Hendricks) gushes that Kate can really do it all, while her dapper assistant Momo (scene-stealer Olivia Munn, can someone make this woman a star please?!) doesn’t understand why Kate can’t just quit the wife and mother thing and be career woman full time.

Screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna, who adapted the film ‘The Devil Wear Prada’ — which was popular among audiences and critics alike — but in ‘I Don’t Know How She Does It’ his characters aren’t as charismatic and the plot is just plain tedious. SJP does what she can do to engage her audience, but the piece-meal plot feels like the movie is as long as an unpopular bake sale.

Yes, there are some funny lines and cutesy moments, but there’s no way the story can amount to any surprise. The film is supposed to reiterate the fact that being a working mom isn’t a terrible thing and we can really have it all, when really it just reassures us we’re not so sure we want to see another film with SJP in it so soon.

The movie starts off with Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) reflecting on her long-term friendship with her three best friends (Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha). The four of them all arrive at a gay wedding of a friend of theirs. The wedding is flamboyant and over-the-top but does not seem to mean much to the married couple. One of the “brooms” informs the girls that his partner is free to cheat on him in the marriage. The person overseeing the ceremony is Liza Minnelli as herself.  Liza goes on to deliver a fun, fluffy and entertaining musical performance. This, though, is the film’s highlight.

The story then goes on to focus on the lives of the four best friends in New York. Carrie is having difficulties in her marriage with Mr. Big (Chris Noth), who has settled into a routine of ordering in food and watching a lot of television, even when his wife’s talking to him. Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is raising her children with the help of a babysitter, but she starts getting nervous that her husband might be attracted to the nanny. Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) faces work difficulties and feels like her boss does not like or appreciate her. The over-sexualized Samantha (Kim Cattrall) is getting older and ferociously trying to prevent aging from occurring.

If these stories seem clichéd and boring, it’s because they are. For a show that was known for being fresh and new, the story-lines here are tired and old; done many times before.

After roughly half of the movie is over, the film takes off in another direction entirely. Samantha is invited on a trip to what is referred to as the “New Middle East” and she brings her three friends with her. The movie then focuses on four women who are known for their superficial lifestyles trying to fit in into a foreign land. Fortunately for the ladies, some of the women in this foreign land are just like them: obsessed with fashion, as we will find out later.

The plot spends a lot of time in Abu Dhabi where things get politically incorrect (for more on that aspect of the film, click here). Also, just to serve the storyline, thousands of miles from home Carrie improbably meets up with an old boyfriend (one obvious coincidence in a film full of them). 

Ultimately, there were a few good moments and lines that made me chuckle. However, the vast majority of what passed for jokes are pretty awful.  Also, even though she’s given little to work with, Cynthia Nixon does a fine job elevating her material in a way the others do not.                   

There are also a lot of awkward story-lines that quickly fizzled out. A bad review for Carrie’s new book; a couple questioning Carrie and Big’s decision not to have children; Miranda’s problems at work…. These subplots each gets no more than a couple of minutes air time and therefore are never fully realized or developed.

Admittedly, I’m not the primary audience for “Sex and the City 2.” Fans of the show may love this sequel and ask for a third one. (Gosh, I hope not.) However, for me, this was a disappointment that took the fun out of a group of girls who were previously known for it.

Tonight, we’ve got Chris Cotter, Imogen Lloyd Webber, Tom Shillue, and my mom! Also a very special Joshua McCarroll segment!

–

This month’s Exhibit P proving Hollywood’s no longer money-driven.

Nearly 60 million Americans wanted Sarah Palin for their Vice President, including most of Middle-America. These voters are the folks this holiday-timed studio film will kinda need in order to see some kind of profit. Sure, the sophisticates will ask us to take a joke but after everything the cruel Left has put this woman and her family through, no matter how good-natured the presentation, another Palin-as-yokel joke just feels like cheap piling on — because that’s exactly what it is.   

Selling your film as something it’s not and then sucker punching the audience after they’ve wasted their ten-bucks is one thing, but to intentionally get ideological and divisive in the actual advertising only proves that everyone involved is much more interested in cocktail party backslaps than actual profits.

The Great Christian Toto weighs in:

What’s intriguing about the inclusion of the Palin reference is how it flies in the face of conventional movie marketing wisdom. Today’s films are thoroughly screened and analyzed for maximum profit potential, with material that might offend one group or another often scrubbed to avoid problems.

It’s a savvy way to please as many consumers as possible.

But including a line about a current politician seems to work against that spirit. It’s potentially alienating – making the left chortle while instigating the right. Why annoy roughly half the movie going public if you don’t have to?

Furthering the stereotype takes precedent. With few exceptions, and just like their counterparts in the mainstream media, Hollywood’s devolved into just another branch of the Democrat Party … and the only thing suffering more than the customer is the quality of the product.

Julia Roberts and Clive Owen star in the fun, smart DUPLICITY, from writer/director Tony Gilroy

Roberts’ last starring role was in 2003’s Mona Lisa Smile ($63.8M domestic), and since then she has become a full-time Mom. Overall, she has 8 movies on her resume that have reached $100M in the US with her as a lead (I’m not including the Ocean’s Eleven franchise). Her most successful string of movies started in 1997 with My Best Friend’s Wedding ($127.1M cume) and ended with her Oscar winning performance in Erin Brockovich ($125.6M cume). During that span, she starred in 6 movies, generating an average of $115M in domestic box office.

Katherine Heigl is one of the actresses getting all of Roberts' old ingenue roles

But, she has entered the “danger zone” for any actress. All the types of roles that Julia used to turn into $100M blockbusters are going to Katherine Heigl, Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Reese Witherspoon and Elizabeth Banks. What’s a 40+ woman to do?

DUPLICITY writer/director Tony Gilroy

She should be looking for smartly-written, age appropriate movies with some pedigree (co-stars, director, etc.). That is exactly what Duplicity is. Writer/director Tony Gilroy wrote the Jason Bourne movies, and his last film, Michael Clayton, was nominated for 7 Academy Awards. The result is an excellent movie. Clever, smart and charming, and Julia Roberts isn’t trying to pass herself off as an ingénue. The movie was expected to open to about $15M, and that’s exactly what it did, and still, bloggers write things like Julia’s Comeback: Audiences Say Go Back and people question if she’s still a draw.

For comparison sake, here is, to the best of my knowledge, the all-time box office champs for movies starring 40+ actresses above the title.

Glenn Close as Alex Forrest in FATAL ATTRACTION grabbed over $156M

ALL-TIME TOP 15 GROSSING MOVIES WITH A 40+ FEMALE LEAD
1. Fatal Attraction – Glenn Close (40) – $156.6M cume
2. Sex & the City – Sarah Jessica Parker (43) – $152.6M cume
3. Mamma Mia! – Meryl Streep (59) – $144.1M cume
4. 101 Dalmations – Glenn Close (49) – $136.2M cume
5. The Devil Wears Prada – (57) – $124.7M cume
6. Something’s Gotta Give – Diane Keaton (57) – $124.7M cume
7. On Golden Pond – Katherine Hepburn (74) – $119.2M cume
8. Terms of Endearment – Shirley MacLaine (49) – $108.4M cume
9. First Wives Club – Diane Keaton (50), Goldie Hawn (41), Bette Midler (51) – $105.5M cume
10. The Client – Susan Sarandon (48) – $92.1M cume
11. Flightplan – Jody Foster (43) – $89.7M cume
12. Moonstruck – Cher (41) – $80.6M cume
13. The Bridges of Madison County – Meryl Streep (46) – $71.5M cume
14. Bird On Wire – Goldie Hawn (45) – $70.9M cume
15. 102 Dalmations – Glenn Close (53) – $66.9M cume

In other words, it is a longshot for a mature woman to open a film in a big way. Last year, Hollywood gave us Mamma Mia! and Sex & The City, but they were both based on popular source material. The only other movies that starred 40+ actress to generate significant receipts were Australia ($49.5M cume) starring Nicole Kidman (40), Nim’s Island ($48M cume) featuring Jody Foster (46) and Nights in Rodanthe ($41.8M) with a 43-year-old Diane Lane.

Meryl Streep had Universal Studios execs jumping for joy with MAMMA MIA!

Given the nature of the business, is it really fair to say, “Julia Roberts can’t open a movie anymore?” The reality is that it is very rare that any woman north of 40 “opens” a movie, and let’s face it, ABBA opened Mamma Mia! and HBO created the success of Sex & The City.

In fact, I would argue that Duplicity is an excellent choice for the former $20M-per-movie star. You could argue that it is quite similar to Adam’s Rib, the movie that Katherine Hepburn starred in at the age of 41, a romantic comedy featuring she and Spencer Tracy as husband and wife operating, as lawyers on opposite sides of a big case. Duplicity is a very good modern-day parallel, not a classic like Adam’s Rib, but very good.

Kyra Sedgwick has scored big with THE CLOSER on TNT

Increasingly, the best roles for women 40+ are on television. Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer), Glenn Close (Damages), Holly Hunter (Saving Grace), Edie Falco (The Sopranos), Vanessa Williams (Ugly Betty) and Sally Field (Brothers & Sisters) have all found meaningful work on the small screen, but with two young kids, the TV series grind isn’t likely in the cards right now for Roberts right now.

Based on the $14.5M weekend and the fact that Females 25 Plus don’t often rush out to see a movie on opening weekend, I think it’s reasonable to project a $40M-$45M domestic gross – maybe even $50M. Michael Clayton only reached $49M in the US, so is Julia’s drawing power that much inferior to George Clooney?

In my mind, Duplicity is a creative success and, although the jury is out on commercial viability, it is by no means a disaster. Good for Julia Roberts that she has devoted herself to full-time motherhood. I’m glad she chose a project with an IQ, and I hope she continues making smart career choices. Her success will be of service to other actresses in Hollywood – those who are 40+ now, or will be someday.

Steve Mason is on Facebook and now also on Twitter@LAMase.

Then in July of 2007, New Line grabbed an almost identical $27.47M with the opening weekend of the female-skewing Hairspray, translating to $118.87M domestic. Also Enchanted, starring Amy Adams, was a hit for Disney over the holidays reaching $127.8M domestic.

In 2008 the game changed forever as women began flexing their box office muscle in a big way. 27 Dresses (Fox), starring Katherine Heigl from Grey’s Anatomy, debuted to $23M in January on its way to a domestic cume of $76.8M. Then came the Digital 3D phenomenon Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds (Disney), which enjoyed a meteoric $31.1M opening 3-day, finishing with a tween-fueled $65.2M. The all-girl comedy Baby Mama (Universal), starring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, came along in the spring with a nifty $17.4M opening, finishing at $60M.

Then the all female Fantastic Four”  landed – Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall and Kristin Davis – in mega-hit Sex & The City. After a mind-boggling $57M opening weekend, the HBO-to-big screen adaptation kept selling tickets to the tune of $152.2M in the US, becoming 2008’s eleventh-best grossing movie.

In fact, you can make a strong argument that 2008 releases Twilight ($187.9M cume), Mamma Mia ($144.1M cume), Beverly Hills Chihuahua ($94.5M cume) and High School Musical 3 ($90.5M cume) were also chick flick hits. Here’s a complete list of last year’s biggest female-skewing movies.

The cast of TWILIGHT

TOP GROSSING CHICK FLICKS OF 2008
Twilight – $187.9M cume
Sex & the City – $152.6M cume
Mamma Mia! – $144.1M cume
Beverly Hills Chihuahua – $95.5M cume
High School Musical 3: Senior Year – $90.5M cume
27 Dresses – $76.8M cume
Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds – $65.2M cume
Baby Mama – $60.5M cume
The House Bunny – $48,2M cume
Made of Honor – $46M cume
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 – $44M cume
The Secret Life of Bees – $37.7M cume
Definitely Maybe – $32.2M cume
The Other Boleyn Girl – $26.8M cume
TOTAL 2009 GROSS – $1.14 billion cume

Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Anniston and Jennifer Connolly in HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

The first chick flick out of the gates in 2009 was the Kate Hudson-produced Bride Wars (Fox), which should finish its US theatrical engagements with about $60M. He’s Just Not That Into You (Warner Bros), based on the bestseller co-written by Sex & the City writers Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, is holding up extraordinarily well in its second weekend. I am projecting a #2 finish for the 4-day with a possible $23.9M and a new cume just shy of $60M. Meanwhile, Confessions of a Shopaholic, one of this week’s wide openings, seems destined for $20M or so by Tuesday morning.

When all is said and done, 2009 could be an even bigger year for female-geared releases. Here’s how the remainder of the year lays out.

February 20 – Fired Up (Sony)
Two popular high school guys quit football to join the cheerleading team.

February 27 – Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert (Disney)
The title says it all. Every tween girl in America will see it at least once.

March 20 – Sunshine Cleaning (Overture)
Amy Adams (Enchanted) and Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada) star in this Grand Jury Prize nominee from last year’s Sundance Film Festival.

March 27 – The Accidental Husband (Yari Film Group)
Uma Thurman stars as a radio talk show host who dishes out relationship advice.

April 8 – Hannah Montana: The Movie (Disney)
The world’s biggest teen star is back on the big screen.

May 1 – Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Warner Bros)
Matthew McConaughey stars as a bachelor who contends with past girlfriends at his brothers wedding. Also starring Jennifer Garner (Catch & Release), Lacey Chabert (Party of Five), Emma Stone (The House Bunny) and pop star Christina Milian.

May 8 – My Life in Ruins (Fox)
Nia Vardallos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) stars in a romantic yarn set in Greece.

May 8 – Wild Child (Universal)
Emma Watson from Nancy Drew and Hotel for Dogs plays a Malibu princess who must adjust when she is sent to boarding school.

June 12 – The Proposal (Disney)
Rom-com starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.

July 10 - I Love You Beth Cooper (Fox)
Hayden Panettiere (Heroes) shows the nerdy valedictorian of her high school class the night of his life.

Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl on the set of THE UGLY TRUTH

July 31 – The Ugly Truth (Sony) – Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler star as television morning show workers who test their relationship theories (and, just a hunch, fall in love).

August 7 – Julie & Julia (Sony)
Nora Ephron is writer/director of this movie based on a Julia Child memoir and starring Meryl Streep as the famed TV chef.

September 25 – Fame (MGM)
A remake of the 1980 film about a New York High School for the Performing Arts.

November 20 – New Moon (Summit)
The sequel to 2008’s mega-hit Twilight.

2-time Oscar winner Daniel Day Lewis and Penelope Cruz in a scene from NINE

November 25 – Nine (Weinstein)
Chicago director Rob Marshall adapts the Tony Award winning Broadway musical starring Oscar winners Daniel Day-Lewis, Judi Dench, Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard and Sophia Loren and Academy Award nominees Penelope Cruz and Kate Hudson.

Untitled Nancy Myers Project – December 25
The writer/director behind such chick flicks as Baby Boom and Something’s Gotta Give is set to star Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin.

Steve Mason is on Facebook and now also on Twitter.