So when Andrew Breitbart asked me if I’d interview Carrie about her new book, Still Standing, out November 9 from Regnery, I chuckled and thought: The liberal faithful will think this is perfect: One “fanatical homophobe” interviewing another. 

Except that they would be wrong.

In case you’ve been living under a rock this year, Carrie Prejean is the former Miss California who became an accidental lightning rod in the spring. At a glitzy pageant held April 19 at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, Carrie appeared poised to be crowned Miss USA. But during the final segment of the contest, a Q&A with pageant judges, Carrie drew as her questioner the gay gossip aficionado, Perez Hilton. 

Ignoring the longstanding pageant tradition of steering clear of politically charged questions, Hilton launched this salvo: “Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?” 

Keeping her mega-watt smile picture-perfect, Carrie revealed no outward hint of concern. But inside, she writes in Still Standing, “it was as though I could feel time slowing down; as if silence was screaming in my ears…I had to break that silence with my answer – and I had to do it now…” 

“Well, I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other…” Carrie answered. “And you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman…” 

And with that, a 22-year-old lifelong athlete who works with developmentally disabled children became the global poster-child for virulent “homophobia.” Within 24 hours, a histrionic Hilton had called her a “dumb bitch,” then corrected himself, saying he wished he’d called her a “c**t.” Immediately, pundits and bloggers who use typically their media platforms to decry “hate” napalmed Carrie with every hateful invective from “bigot” to “Nazi.” One British politician even issued a televised death threat. 

I know a little about what that’s like. In late September, HarperCollins announced that it had bumped up the publication date for Sarah Palin’s memoir, Going Rogue: An American Life, to November 17. As Sarah’s collaborative writer, I suddenly became a target (the left having running out of original ways to insult the former Alaska governor herself.) 

Andrew Sullivan, who blogs at The Atlantic’s website, read my arguments in favor of traditional marriage, and summarily crowned me a “fanatical homophobe.” Others, to use Perez Hilton’s term, followed suit. 

Had Sullivan bothered to reach out for a reasoned dialogue, I might’ve shared with him that my sister Lori, an articulate, politically active lesbian on the progressive left, has had with me some pretty productive discussions on gay marriage. That for me, it’s about more than “the Bible tells me so”; it’s about the collision of the First and Fourteenth Amendments. 

I might’ve shared with Sullivan that the maid of honor at my wedding was my best friend, CM, and her longtime lesbian partner. Sure CM looked a little athletic schlepping down the aisle in her 1980’s tea-length, peach satin dress with dyed-to-match pumps. But then neither one of us walks like Carrie Prejean. 

…Who, incidentally, learned her sexy pageant walk from a gay man. 

Let’s face it ladies, nobody can work a pair of pumps like the right gay man. And it was an openly gay man named Jim (whom Carrie describes in Stilling Standing as “wonderful”) who transformed her from lanky athlete to slinky siren, and taught her not to lope across the pageant stage like a giraffe. And it was also a gay man, Keith Lewis, who courted Carrie to compete for Miss California, then Miss USA – a man Carrie thought at the time had her best interests at heart. 

See, the irony is that people like Carrie and I can be confidantes and even best friends with the gays and lesbians in our lives. We can be in mentoring relationships, like Carrie and Jim. We can collaborate on ideas, as I did with “Anlir,” a gay commenter whose ideas I often adopted when I managed World Magazine’s evangelical-focused blog. We can even be accepting of our family members’ sexuality. 

But if we dare to differ on the issue of gay marriage, then the truth about our actual relationships with gays and lesbians is ignored, liberals’ clairvoyant “insight” into our hearts and minds is substituted as fact, and our protestations are filed mockingly under the “some of my best friends” defense. 

If, on the institution of marriage, we say publicly that we believe the same thing as voters in 31 states – in every state, in fact, where gay marriage has been put on the ballot – then we become targets who must be defamed and destroyed. 

Sadly, snap judgment and name-calling would once have been uncharacteristic for Andrew Sullivan. My good friend Anita Palmer, former managing editor of Eternity, an evangelical monthly, told me she was a huge fan of Sullivan’s laser-like reasoning back when he wrote for The New Republic. 

“He was acerbic, but brilliantly logical, almost irrefutable in that succinct, British way that was just a joy to read,” Anita told me at Starbucks the other day. Her tone was wistful; she missed that Andrew Sullivan, she said. 

Carrie and I both long for the Sullivan of old – and for more people like my sister Lori – who would be willing to chuck name-calling and personal destruction in favor of reasoned, civil debate. 

*****

Lynn Vincent:  Okay, let’s just get the “sex tape” elephant out of the room. When I read about this I thought, “You know what, this isn’t really a ‘sex tape’ as we’ve come to think of sex tapes when they break in the media.”  What are your thoughts on that? 

Carrie Prejean:  Well, there is a video that is out there, and I’m not proud of it and I was very immature at the time. People can call it whatever they want to call it. But it’s definitely not a sex tape. But it’s still the worst mistake I’ve ever made. 

LV:  So I was thinking about this and I thought, “Okay, she was probably with her boyfriend and they were, you know, together and he was filming her…”

CP:  Well, let’s just get that thing taken care of. There was no one else in the room with me. I was by myself. It was for a boyfriend at the time, who I trusted and we were dating at the time. So, I think that definitely needs to get cleared up. 

LV:  So you made the tape and you shared it with this boyfriend. 

CP:  Well at the time, I guess I thought I was being a good girlfriend. 

LV:  I think in the flap copy of your book and in other places, it talks about you being a role model for young Christian women, so there will be people who say that you’re a hypocrite. What’s your response to that? 

CP:  Well, it’s definitely not something that I’m proud of, like I said. And, you know I still think that I am a role model. I think that we’re all sinners – we all make mistakes. The only perfect person is God, and I know that He forgives me….I’m forgiven for the things that I’ve done and how many of us want to share the most horrible mistake that you’ve ever made with complete strangers? Even talking about this right now with you is extremely uncomfortable. And, you know, we all make mistakes, we all do things we’re not proud of. But what matters most is who we are now and who I am now is someone that is a strong, strong person and I’m still standing. The bottom line is who I am today, and that’s a strong woman who defended traditional marriage, and that’s the only reason why we’re really even discussing this right now. 

LV:  Right. And so, in terms of a role model, I think you could say that some of the lessons we teach as role models arise from mistakes we’ve made. That’s how we get our experience. 

CP:  Right. And I think that now I can definitely teach younger girls, don’t ever do something [sexually inappropriate], even when you’re in love and you think that he’s Mr. Right and you “know” nothing will come out, because everything that you do – all the choices that you make – will affect you in the long run. Did I think when I was seventeen that…when I was twenty-two years old and in the spotlight, that the choices that I made then would come out now? No. But, that’s why young women need to learn from this. They need to really think about what they’re doing and make the right decisions and don’t ever do something that you wouldn’t want your pastor, your mother, your father, or your friends to see. Nothing is private anymore in this world, unfortunately. 

LV:  How did you feel about your opponents in this lawsuit presenting you with material that you recorded when you were a minor, in order to secure a favorable outcome for themselves in this lawsuit? 

CP:  Well, I’m not really going to be discussing anything that happened in mediation because I signed a legal agreement. It seems as if I’m the only one sticking to that agreement, and I will continue to obey that agreement. So anything that was discussed I’m not able to talk about right now. 

LV:  Well, let’s move onto your book. I was sitting in Starbucks in Del Mar enjoying it the other morning and, at the beginning, you take us right into that moment Perez Hilton asked you the question about gay marriage at the Miss USA pageant in Las Vegas. Take us to that moment. What were you thinking then? What were you feeling? 

CP:  Well, I just remember being so excited, and that I felt so proud and honored to be representing the state of California. I’d worked hard for this job and I was ready to become Miss USA. I was very confident with public speaking and being able to handle questions under pressure, and I just remember after hearing the question that I couldn’t believe that it was even being asked in a pageant. But I knew that I had to deal with it…but when I began to answer the question I felt as though so much of the hard work and dedication…that I had put into this pageant was just – it was gone…There was no way I was going to win Miss USA if I gave the answer that I gave. And it was worth it to me. It was worth it to be honest and tell the truth rather than to back down to just win Miss USA for the year…I think that was a test. It was a test and we’re all tested at some point in our lives and, you know, I think that I did pass the test. 

LV:  And, you know it was interesting last Tuesday the state of Maine became the 31st state to vote “No” on gay marriage. This time the vote was a bit different in that the state actually repealed a law allowing gay marriage. And this was in a state where voters are widely considered to be moderates and independents. So if you support traditional marriage, and people in Maine support traditional marriage, and people in the thirty other states where this issue has been put on the ballot support gay marriage, why do you think you were so viciously attacked? 

CP:  Well, for one, I think it’s because I was in a pageant…the type of setting where there’s media and there’s the entertainment industry. And I’m a pageant girl – I’m not supposed to have an opinion and I’m not supposed to be intelligent and I’m not supposed to stand up for what I believe. I’m supposed to back down to win this tiara. And when I didn’t do that, I think people were shocked. And when I continued to defend the stand I took, people became frustrated. They knew that they were not able to take me down. They knew I was going to stand by what I said and I wasn’t going to take back what I said – that it was just an honest answer. There was nothing controversial about it. And it is mind-boggling to me that we’re still even talking about this seven months later. It’s not even a controversial issue. The President of the United States agrees with me. Sarah Palin agrees with me. The majority of people in the United States and my state agree with me — that marriage is a union between a man and a woman. 

LV:  One of the things that has been personally dismaying to me is that I have had and do have great relationships with gays and lesbians. But instead of being able to sit down and have a civil discussion about the issues, about gay marriage, about domestic partnerships, about civil unions, with people who feel differently than you and I do, that it always goes into attack mode. It always goes into name-calling. So my question is, if you had a chance to sit down to coffee with some of your critics personally and it was you and them at Starbucks just talking about this issue, what would you say? 

CP:  Well, I want everybody to know that this is not a personal attack. It’s not me hating anyone. I don’t hate anyone. It was just that I was asked a question at a pageant and I had to give an honest answer. I had to be true to myself and I had to be true to the way I was raised. So I would just let them know that this is not a hateful thing against anyone. It’s just a personal opinion, and we are all entitled to our personal opinions. And we should have the right to express our personal opinions. Since when are we not able to give our own opinion when we’re asked? 

LV:  So you’re saying, you should be able to give an answer other than “world peace?” 

CP:  Exactly. You should be able to give an honest answer and not be attacked, not be called every name in the book, not be fired, and not have every single one of your boyfriends being called from your past to see if they’ll give up some dirt. 

LV:  Over the past seven months, is there anything that you would do differently if you had a chance to do it again? 

CP:  No, I really don’t have any regrets. I think that I’ve had a great support team. I’ve had people that I’ve surrounded myself with who are positive, people who give me great advice, who stand with me. You know, I’m not alone in this. My detractors would love to hear me say that I feel alone and I feel sad and I feel miserable. But you know what? I don’t. This was such a learning experience for me and I’m glad I learned these lessons at such a young age. But I’m happy now to just move on with my life. I hope that mothers and daughters and conservatives read my book and feel empowered to express their own personal beliefs and opinions… I hope that I was able to be used in a positive way to give other people encouragement. 

LV:  In your book you write about an old sports trick where you – as a basketball player, for example – you visualize sinking the shot. You said that when you were competing in the Miss USA pageant, you visualized the things you would do to win the competition. 

CP:  Yes. 

LV:  What are you visualizing going forward in your life? 

CP: Well, I always have told myself, ‘you draw the line then you live above it.’ Hopefully other young women can learn from [my experience], not only with the stance that I took in standing up for what you believe, but also that if you do have an opinion, don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid to say it and stand by it. And if people try and attack you, then so be it. Let them, let them attack you. Let them dig up things from your past. And if you’re faced with a controversy like this [tape], then admit to it. The truth will set you free. 

LV:  Now in Stilling Standing, you dish quite a bit on Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler [both of the Miss California organization.]…You’re pretty tough on them. What will be your response to people who say you used your book to settle scores? 

CP:  The purpose of writing my book was for me to tell my side. I think that was really important. I think the media definitely got a twisted version of what really happened. So it was important for me to set the record straight. As far as Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler, I wish them well. This was just my chance to tell my side of the story and to clear some things up. 

LV: I want to touch on the issue of your faith since it’s obviously the defining thread that runs through your life. I was interested to read in your book that at the state level, at the Miss California pageant, the judges actually praised you for talking about your faith. And then you move on to Miss USA and you have your handlers, like Moakler, telling you, “Don’t talk about God! Don’t talk about God!” What was that like for you? 

CP:  That was difficult. It was very difficult. I was dealing with people who didn’t think the same way that I did. So from the very beginning it was a challenge, but I learned to deal with it. 

LV:  One of the things that really struck me in your book was when you describe Keith Lewis really putting his hands on you and sort of sizing you up and touching your body all over to see if he thought that you were in good enough visual shape to compete. It sort of reminded me of – I don’t know – someone sizing up livestock that they were going to buy. Was that humiliating for you? 

CP:  Yes. And I think that was when I really realized the business that I was in and the industry that I was in. And it was shocking to me but, you know, I had to deal with it because I had won the [Miss California] pageant and so I just thought, “Okay, this is just what they do.” Looking back, I think this was their way of telling me, “Okay, you’re ours now and we’re going to mold you and shape you to be who we want you to be. And you will listen to us.” 

LV:  I would imagine that it was a moment where you began kind of thinking, “Oh my goodness, what have I gotten myself into?” 

CP:  Right. Exactly. And that’s what I did think. 

LV:  One of the things that I noticed early in the book was where you talked about one of your early mentors counseling you to just be yourself in these pageants, Carrie. Just be yourself. And certainly you did that when Perez Hilton asked you that question. And yet on some other things, earlier in your pageant career, you sort of allowed yourself to be carried away from that early advice. You know, as though the pageant machine was sort of driving you forward. Can you talk a little bit about how you get caught up in that kind of thing and carried along? 

CP:  In my book you’ll see that I was tested twice.  The first time was when they had asked me not to talk about God anymore and [I didn’t]. It made me feel really uncomfortable… I felt this guilt inside of me knowing that I had not stood up when I could have. I could have said, “No, that’s not right,” or “I don’t agree with you.” But instead I just kind of played it off and ignored the situation. So, I definitely learned from that. 

LV:  So in, I think in a very human way, in those particular situations you were…kind of going along to get along. 

CP:  Right. My main focus was winning Miss USA. I mean, that was my main goal. I’ve always been very competitive and I was just kind of going along with this and saying to myself, “I guess this is just what you’re supposed to be doing.” But there comes a point when you have to draw the line and you have to really be who you are and not let anyone else change you. 

LV:  Young girls are going to continue to look up to you as a role model. What’s your best advice for young girls who want to follow in your footsteps and become a strong woman who stands up for what she believes in? 

CP:  That wherever you get your courage from – mine comes from my faith, my family, my supporters – always have the courage not to be intimidated. Don’t ever feel like you have to be silent for standing up for what you believe in. And that’s what’s so great about this book, Still Standing, is that people will see that I am still standing after what anybody can throw at me. They can throw whatever they want at me. They can call up my old boyfriends and ask them if they have dirt on me. They can come up with pictures of me and attack me, attack my family. That’s fine, they can do all of that, but I am still standing. And I think it infuriates some people that I am. But my advice to young women would be to just be you. Just be who you are and stand up for what you believe.

Note: No tasteless holiday parades were actually performed during the making of this video.

But that’s nothing compared to the kid glove treatment Hilton gets in the accompanying text.

For the uninitiated, Hilton runs one of the most popular tabloid sites on the Web, and his most recent claim to fame was grossly insulting Miss California, Carrie Prejean, after she dared to oppose gay marriage during the recent Miss USA pageant.

EW’s profile touches on some of Hilton’s more outlandish behavior and notes the disdain he inspires in some PR circles. It also recounts his recent skirmish with the manager of the Black Eyed Peas which left him bruised and beaten (Hilton called group singer will.i.am the “F” word which inspired the altercation).

Hilton claims the Black Eyed Peas incident “matured” him. So a follow-up question on the Prejean matter seems more than appropriate – unless the magazine didn’t think such a mea culpa was even necessary.

The magazine doesn’t bother. Nor does it bother to ask Hilton his thoughts on President Barack Obama’s position on gay marriage (Obama’s against it). Would Hilton, now a gay rights figure to some, call the president the same names he labeled Prejean? Why or why not?

That might make for an illuminating discussion, but EW would rather pump up Hilton, excuse his excesses and use his hateful site as a way to sell magazines.

… But who needs logic when you’ve got big Government, right?

Thanks to Dave Konig for addressing the topic of gay marriage here on Big Hollywood the other day. As he pointed out, the issue itself might not cause most to lose sleep, come what may. But perhaps it should.

As a nation we’re at a crossroads, no question. Our banking industry scrambles to escape quasi-nationalization, our auto industry is in the process of being nationalized, and we have instituted, of all things, a Car Czar (note: it took Russia roughly 300 years to stack up so many czars). If that isn’t bad enough, nationalized health care is on the table again.

So as the Republic devolves and those with the means contemplate hightailing it to the Caymans, it’s probably time to ask ourselves what it is to be “conservative.”

One need only read the comments on this site to know that there are two fundamental schools of thought here. Some of us believe that to be conservative is to defend freedom, preserve individual liberty, and keep government small. Others believe that being conservative is about electing a government that will defend and enforce “traditional” values.

For our purposes here, a list of those values isn’t relevant. But if you place yourself in this camp, consider whether you truly want a government that will enforce your personal values at gunpoint (this is what all laws effectively do). And if you surrender such power to the government — power to defend not your life or your property, mind you, but your values — can you live with the consequences when your officials are no longer in power and you are staring down the business end of that barrel? Could you live with mandatory government schooling, for instance? (I could not). When you find yourself in a minority, as everyone does at some point, what protections do you imagine that you will have, other than our Constitution? One of the beauties of that document is that no citizen can undermine it without eventually putting his own interests in peril.

In the context of this debate, it is impossible to overemphasize that this is the same inspired, carefully considered document that protects the religious freedom we hold dear.

Looked at from this perspective, gay marriage isn’t a complex issue. Science aside, one needn’t believe that homosexuality is moral in order to understand that nowhere does the Constitution give the federal government the right to regulate marriage.

The Republican Party has made a huge mistake in advocating a kind of Cafeteria Constitutionalism. (I’ll take some guns, no helmet laws, please, a free market, and…yuck, hold the gay marriage!). One can’t legitimately invoke the Constitution to oppose federally mandated sex education, and then use the federal government to impose school prayer. Leave that fair-weather-federalism to the Left.

It’s not a state secret that the Democrat Party has become little more than a loose coalition of special interest groups with few or no coherent philosophical underpinnings. It’s also apparent that the Republicans are equally lost philosophically and couldn’t even manage to nominate a presidential candidate with the fiscal good sense to oppose corporate bailouts. Now here we are: face to face with an opportunity to take stock, recalibrate, and decide what we want from our political leaders.

Me, I implore the Republicans to become — once and for all — the party of freedom. The true moral highground is there to seize. Our Constitution was created as a shield against government encroachment on our personal lives. Conservatives should be the last people who would dare turn this document into a weapon.

As usual, Dick Cheney is right and Barack Obama is wrong.

It’s time to wave the pink flag and drop opposition to gay marriage.

I’ve changed my thinking on this one. Personally, I admit my opposition to gay marriage has always been on the same level as my opposition to the death penalty: I understand and appreciate the arguments against both intellectually – but in actual practice, I simply don’t lose any sleep over either. With the death penalty, I sympathize with moral opposition – but when a Ted Bundy takes that final ride on “Old Sparky” (or that final big sleep on “Old Lethal Injectiony”), my only real objection is that it isn’t televised.

Similarly, with gay marriage, I understand those who have a religious objection to the concept (unlike, say, every single liberal true-believer I’ve ever met in my life, I tend to err on the side of respecting other people’s religious beliefs…that’s how my mother raised me), but in actual practice, my reaction is, well, kind of Zen. It’s like the old philosophy question: if two gay men get married in Vermont, and I’m not invited to the ceremony, are they really making any noise that affects my life one way or the other?

Like most of my deeply held convictions, this one grew out of developments in my show business career (like, say, every single other actor I’ve ever met in my life, I am a remarkably shallow, self-centered individual). Recently, the NY Friars Club had a roasting competition – a series of celebrity roasts held at the club with a bunch of us comics competing for valuable cash and prizes (or a free chicken dinner with Mickey Freeman). The comics’ names were all thrown into a hat and matched up with various celebrity roastees. I got lucky. I could have been roasting Vincent Pastore (Big Pussy – how many more Lisa Lampanelli jokes does the world really need?), Gary Dell’abate from the Howard Stern show (since my own show on Sirius ended I don’t have my free subscription, so I’m not up on the latest Ba Ba Booey in-jokes), or Omarosa (apparently Puck from the 2003 season of MTV’s Real World wasn’t available). I got paired up with George Takei.

Are you kidding? Jackpot! Everybody loves George Takei! And talk about some easy targets for comedy: Japanese, gay, “Star Trek”… If you can’t write a few roast jokes for a gay Japanese Star Fleet navigator, you’re in the wrong business.

The show went great. Very funny stuff from Tom Cotter, Jim David, Cory Kahaney, and Gilbert Gottfried. My contribution to the festivities went well, and all had a good time.

George Takei was funny, charming, and gracious. His longtime companion, (now his, well, husband? Married partner? Mr. Takei?) Brad Altman, was equally charming and gracious.

Watching George and Brad together that night, it was hard to see how they were a threat to the institution of marriage. Oh, the institution is in trouble alright. Welfare policies that give young, poor women a financial incentive not to marry the father of their children (and, in turn, give the fathers an excuse to not take responsibility for their children) have destroyed marriage in the inner cities. The societal acceptance of middle-aged upper-middle class women adopting (or having, or surrogating, or whatevering) babies without bothering to include a father/husband in the picture has been a fiasco for marriage.

The glorification of knucklehead celebrities who use marriage as just another publicity stunt for their new movie/CD/reality show (host “Saturday Night Live,” get married, drop by “The View,” get divorced…) hasn’t helped. Neither has no-fault divorce, the all-purpose ripcord for the terminally lazy (because it’s easier to get divorced than to apologize for being such a shmuck).

Our mainstream pop culture doesn’t help. Like reruns of “Friends.” I loved the show, but I’d never let my teenage daughter watch it. Not primarily because of the sex jokes – but because of the way marriage is thrown away as a punch line (everybody on that show was either getting married by mistake, or getting pregnant without getting married, or getting divorced so they could get pregnant with somebody else’s babies, or marrying a baby, or…).

I think a large part of opposition to gay marriage is rooted in a mathematical fallacy: the “fact” that ten percent of the population is gay. There are 300 million Americans. So the concern is that you might be looking at thirty million gays getting married. That’s a lot of gay marriage! The ten percent figure comes from the Kinsey report. But Kinsey was a nut who based a lot of his data on studies of prison populations. The hoosegow in Kinsey’s time, an era of criminalizing homosexuality, by its very nature had a higher percentage of homosexuals than the rest of the world. I’ve lived in New York City my whole life. Even here I’ve always thought that the ten percent number was way high (except when I played Vince Fontaine in the 90’s revival of “Grease” on Broadway – percentage of homosexuals in your average Broadway musical? Ninety two percent. Rama lama lama!).

So let’s say the more accurate figure is five percent. That’s 15 million, as Jim McGreevy would call them, gay Americans. Subtract the very young and the very old. Narrow it down to the gays in their 30s and early 40s – your big marrying years. That’s probably one quarter of our 15, so three or four million. Now, subtract one quarter that isn’t even dating, another quarter that are dating but not seriously involved. Now we’re down to two million. Okay, we’ve got two million gays in committed relationships. How many of them want to actually get married? Maybe half. Now we’re down to one million gays who want to get married. George and Brad are already married, so you can subtract them. That’s just fewer than one million gays who might want to actually get married.

Out of those one million gays, 25 percent will break up over arguments about the wedding plans (The band! The centerpieces!). So it’s really only 750,000 gays. That’s 375,000 gay couples. Mostly in LA and NY. And Provincetown. In a nation of 300 million.

What will happen to those gay married couples? Let’s face it, half of them will get divorced just like everybody else. After the initial novelty wears off, the numbers of new gay marriages will probably drop. The whole thing will eventually (you’ll pardon the expression) blow over.

Conservatives: go libertarian on this one! Let the states decide, call it something else: union, partnership, really really going steady. And to George and Brad, much happiness and a belated “mazel tov” from Dick Cheney and me.

All right, it’s a press conference about a beauty contest.  It’s not a world summit – it’s a beauty contest!  Should it really garner this sort of press coverage, this sort of media scrutiny, this sort of public attention? 

Well, yeah.  It should.

Aside from affording us a chance to gaze for long moments at a dazzling woman, the runner-up to the Miss U.S.A beauty contest, Miss California, Carrie Prejean; there actually was great import revealed at this morning’s Trump Trump, Donald Trump, The Donald, Trump-Trump-Ta-Trump news conference.  (I’m not sure I mentioned that it was a DONALD TRUMP news conference?) 

Don’t get me wrong, I love Trump.  For years I’ve been a fan.  Read the Art of the Deal, and he was instantly my hero.  Aggressive, independent rogue businessman with the vision and courage to think big.  No, not just big, MEGA-big.  And a total egoist.  I loved that about him as well.  The balls on that guy.  Putting his name all over everything he touched, in huge, bold letters, TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP.   What a stamp.  The name even sounds like ‘stamp’.  So it’s TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!

Then there’s the hair.  I never could really understand what that was all about, still don’t, but I don’t give a rat’s ass how he likes to wear it, so what if it looks like it was once alive, who cares.  I just admired how the man dreamed big, put money into play and built things.  Really, really big things.

Then…he got into such huge debt, he owed so much to so many that none of the banks to whom he owed money could afford to let him go under.  He became (all right Lee Iacocca started the ball rolling with his Chrysler bailout, but really it was Trump who lifted it to an art form) the poster boy for the “too big to fail” concept.  At the time, mid-nineties, it just seemed so…American.

Jump forward a decade and a half…and Trump is now a TV star.  “You’re fired!” is a household word, a punchline at the office, (well maybe not at the office, but certainly everywhere else) and Donald trump has teamed with Australian megaproducer Mark Burnett to be one of the most successful reality-TV hosts/stars/producers in the biz.  Things keep going like this and in another twenty years he may be out of debt!  But don’t count on it.  Trump likes to run at a deficit.  Too Big To Fail suits him.  If your name gets big enough, and if you are indebted to enough people, you can write your own ticket.  Whatever you want, just name it, it’s yours.  What, they’re going to say no?  To you??  HA!!  Don’t they know who you are?  You’re Too Big To Fail!

But I digress.

Side note:  With all the media attention and glowing, adoring press coverage…we now have a President who is Too Big To Fail.   And no matter how much deeper he plunges this nation into debt, no matter how much his ‘progressive’ policies mire our economy with make work jobs, debilitating regulation, and punitive taxation…the Mainstream Media will prop him up, give him a pass, redirect the blame, exonerate him from any culpability, and frame the man as beyond fault or defect.  He will be held as pristine, he will be lifted up and placed on a marble pedestal and the world will see him as Immaculate.  He is Too Big To Fail.

But I double-digress.

Back to Miss California!   Carrie Prejean, the runner-up in the Miss USA contest may have lost her title today.  The Miss USA Beauty Pageant was pressured to strip her of her Miss California USA title for one reason and one reason only.  She was not Politically Correct. 

Carrie Prejean, when asked by snarky no-talent gay firebrand Perez Hilton what she thought of Gay Marriage, actually gave her honest, heartfelt belief that marriage was for one man and one woman.  One would have thought she had endorsed cutting up little children and barbecuing them over a slow flame.  The MSM and entertainment news have come out to universally excoriate her in hateful tones reminiscent of Genghis Kahn (and John Kerry) and have absolutely lost their minds in rabid media hysteria. You would almost have thought that her very gracious and semi-apologetic answer that night had instead been a vehement diatribe ascribing all gay people as perverts and aberrant, twisted fruits.  No, she indicated nothing of the sort.  She was a lady.  She apologized in advance if anyone was offended; and then simply stated her own personal view – a view shared by none other than our newly elected President, one Barack Hussein Obama. 

Miss Prejean will retain her beauty contest title.  But more importantly, she will retain her image as role model to millions of impressionable young girls.  She speaks of honor, strength, faith, respect, civility.  You know – all the things the Left hates.

Carrie thanked everyone for being there, the pageant, Mr. Trump, and in an emotional moment, her parents…and lastly…God.   Oh yeah – she thanked God.

Now the Left will reeaally let her have it.

Here is an excerpt from Miss Prejean statements today:

“Three weeks ago I was given a politically-charged question with a hidden personal agenda.  I answered my question honestly and sincerely from my heart.  I was very careful to articulate in saying that I did not want to offend anybody, and that this is how I was raised and that this is what I believe a marriage should be; between one man and one woman. I was given a question, asking for my opinion and I stated my honest belief.  Not only do I hold this belief, but as Mr. Trump said, the President of the United States, the Secretary of State and many Americans agree with me in this belief.  Immediately after the pageant, Judge  #8 [Perez Hilton] began a cultural firestorm in the media.  It went national as he was trying to be self-promoting and hateful.

“While I have remained silent since, I am honored to be here today to finally let my voice be heard and address the hateful attacks, despicable rumors and false allegations I have had [leveled at me] within the last three weeks.  To be standing here today on behalf of the great state of California and the greatest country in the world, is by the grace of God.  Being in the middle of a media firestorm is not something that I had planned or signed up for.  But the days since have taught me to stand up for what you believe in, regardless of the consequences, personal attacks or disagreements.

“I am a strong woman.  And because of that I am able to move forward and be the best Miss California, USA, that I can be.  I am excited to fulfill my duties and continue serving the great state of California.  Let me be clear:  I am not an activist or anything, nor do I have a personal agenda.  I was thrown into this firestorm from the time I was first asked the question onstage.  I have become an advocate for the importance of not redefining marriage, based upon my own upbringing and beliefs.  While I am not the most vocal proponent of traditional marriage, it appears from my singular response, I am the most visible.  I am proud  to be an American.  I am proud of the freedoms we enjoy because of the brave men and women serving this great country and who have served.  My grandfather served under General Patton during WWII and is someone I admire greatly.  He never spoke about the Battle of the Bulge that he participated in as a rifleman, or the honorary medals he earned because of his bravery.  But he did speak about the freedoms he fought for and he taught me to never back down and to never let anyone take those freedoms away from you.  On April 19th, on that stage, I exercised my freedom of speech.  And I was punished for doing so.  This should not happen in America.  It undermines the Constitutional rights for which my grandfather fought for.” [sic] 

Miss Prejean then went on to recount how a photographer whom she had formerly trusted had released candid shots taken at a photo shoot, that were not meant for publication, and taken unbeknownst to her, when the wind was whipping around her clothes. 

WHAT??!!  A photographer sells gotcha photos to the tabloids for profit!  In L.A.??  That is unheard of!!   (I know – young, beautiful, just starting out…and taken advantage of.  Almost never happens, right?)

The lovely, if naïve, Miss Prejean continued:

“I am excited to continue my duty as Miss California, USA.  All I want to be able to do is to tell my story, which no one can take away from me.  Not everyone may like me or agree with me…but I hope at the end of the day, everyone can respect my rights, as I respect theirs; and together we can bring back civility in our social and cultural discussions.  I am convinced, now more than ever, of the importance for standing up for your beliefs and convictions.  For everyone out there listening – do not be silenced.  Take this story of mine and apply it to your own life.  I hope I’ve inspired others to maintain compassion, civility, respect, and tolerance – while staying true to your convictions…and to never, ever, compromise your beliefs in the pursuit [of your] goals, regardless of the consequences.

“I want to share this message.  I am a representative of my generation.  Young adults and teenagers are greatly impacted by both media and culture.  And I want to encourage them to maintain their integrity and not concede their values because of what they see or hear going on around them.  It is this message that I will incorporate to my Miss California, USA duties.  As the pageant has embraced my message of recognizing and respecting diversity, think about how much better our society would be if we would just agree to disagree, and show respect.”

Wow.  I don’t think I was the only one dazzled by how sincere, honest, credible and absolutely beautiful this young woman is.  The noteworthy thing about Carrie Prejean is that her beauty has great depth to it — because it emanates from her convictions.

Carrie Prejean then graciously wrapped up, and both she and Trump fielded questions, and I think, did very well, the both of them.  (And I gotta say – I had prepared, in anticipation of Ms. Prejean getting dumped from the sheer gravitational pull of political correctness, an essay entitled “NO BALLS TRUMP”.  But I had prejudged the man (to my shame) and completely misjudged him.  Cynically expecting him to bend to the PC wind of the times, I was proud to see that he stood strong against the loonies screaming for her head on a platter; and, though he danced the diplomatic two-step once or twice, still emerged as a man of honor.  Props to you, Mr. Trump.)

But what was Carrie Prejean’s sin in the first place?  This young woman dared to voice her heart on national TV.  For this she was excoriated in the press, in leftist special interest groups, i.e., lefty gays, and her reputation was dragged through the mud. 

She was ‘PALINed’. 

Now, to believe in God and not be Mother Theresa is to be the poster girl for hypocrisy.  The ACLU rings the bell and the liberal trolls crawl out from under the bridge to light the fires of hatred and join hands with their fellow miscreants to dance their tribal celebration of everything nasty and debasing and hateful. 

You don’t have to be on drugs to be a Lefty…but it helps.

Miss Prejean should be extremely proud of her convictions and values, her parental upbringing, and for giving this nation a well-needed moral shot in the arm.  I’ve got a 16-year-old daughter, and I wince at the daily barrage of debasing media and counter-culture influences.  Teenage girls are woefully in need of good role models.  It’s nice to see an All-American Girl emerge through the silt and smoke and pollution that is our pop culture today. 

Carrie Prejean is a breath of fresh air.

He refused to accuse others, and lost his livelihood for a period of time, but went on to direct many TV shows including Star Trek, The Law and Mr. Jones, and I Spy.

Now Carrie Prejean, beauty queen and determined supporter of marriage between a man and a woman, finds herself smeared on the Internet, castigated in public, on TV, (Chelsea Handler on E! channel has taken aim with a vicious gleam in her vodka-stoked eyes) and her parents have been dragged through the mud as well.

So where are the free-speech warriors? How about Sean Penn and the rest of the Hollywood elitists who think the First Amendment was written solely for their benefit? Penn has made millions playing everything from a stoner in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” to gay Supervisor Harvey Milk, who was slain in a horrific attack in San Francisco that also resulted in the death of San Francisco mayor George Moscone.

Penn, who played Harvey Milk in the film “Milk,” for which he won an Oscar, is probably too biased to see that the Founding Fathers weren’t just thinking of him and his high-brow leftists when they stood for freedom of expression for EVERYBODY.

Yes, that means Penn has the right to demand California have a special holiday for Harvey Milk, no matter how silly that is. The First Amendment also allows the outrageous burning of the American flag – or at least that’s how the courts have interpreted the First Amendment, so we have to live with it for now.

Guess what, Sean. Because you have the right to rant and rave about your radical agenda, Ms. Prejean also gets to use words that are so offensive to you and Perez Hilton, whose mouth is filthier than a latrine in a high school locker room.

These leftists have gone so far as to compare Prejean, a beautiful and thoughtful Christian, to a Nazi. They have divulged that she had breast implants just prior to the pageant. So-called mainstream journalists have even gotten on the beat-Prejean-to-a-bloody-pulp bandwagon.

Her sin: Hilton asked her about gay marriage and she answered truthfully. She faced the loss of her crown and has faced unrelenting attacks from thoughtless, cruel and vile people.

Sean Penn and his ilk should stand up to those who are piling on with their high-tech lynching campaign of Ms. Prejean. Perhaps Penn has forgotten about the blacklisting of his own father because of his beliefs.

I do wonder what Daddy Penn would say… I suspect he would not be pleased.

I’m not mad about Wanda Sykes recent diatribe against Rush Limbaugh and other Republicans. Today, you expect this kind of nonsense at the Correspondent’s Dinners. It is modern tradition to spare no mercy for the attendees. Being an edgy comic myself, I often find that the meat is much sweeter when it’s closer to the bone.  Edge comedy means that you are trying to land that punch line so close to the precipice of good taste that it is very likely to fall over. On more than one occasion I have personally felt the plummet after I misjudged where the line stopped.

I once walked out 90% of the room in Minneapolis. I was working Acme Comedy Company, a club that is famous for hosting comics who can push the envelope. It was the week after Paul Wellstone’s campaign plane crashed, and Vice President Walter Mondale was tapped to run for Senate in his stead. After the announcement of Mondale, I asked onstage the question everybody had: “I thought he was dead, too?” After about five minutes of dead silence and me stutteringly trying to win the crowd back, people started paying their tabs and leaving the showroom. Out of 273 people, only 27 stayed long enough to hear me say, “Thank you, good-night!”

So I’m in no position to cast stones here. But what did bother me about Wanda’s rant, was her inability to make any jokes of substance against the President. It’s different when someone like Rich Little performs at the Correspondent’s Dinner, because Rich Little is a very uncontroversial act. But Wanda wasn’t doing impressions of Jimmy Cagney, she was making jokes about September 11th and kidney failure.

Past Correspondents Dinners have been controversial as well. A long time ago, before Lewinsky became a euphemism for a specific carnal activity, and when naps were just something Don Imus needed during commercial breaks; Imus became notorious for making cracks about the reputation of the White House. He did it right in front of the President Clinton and his wife at the 1996 Correspondents Dinner. A review of the transcript puts that scandal in perspective; it is incredibly tame by modern standards.

But it set the bar quite high, for satire; a level that wasn’t cleared until ten years later, by comedian Stephen Colbert. Stephen became the sweetheart of the left, for telling President Bush off right to his face, at the 2006 Dinner. The incident not only failed to amuse the President, it took Rich Little out of the unemployment line for a year.

Now I wouldn’t begrudge Wanda, even if she didn’t have any disagreement with the President, for fawning over him and the First Lady. She isn’t the only comic out there who is smitten. She isn’t the first who can no longer bring themselves to satire. There are hundreds of “political” comics who came of age during the Bush Administration who are suddenly without new material.

Wanda however, should have a major beef with this President, since he doesn’t think Wanda should be allowed to marry a girl.  Here is a video of Wanda getting up in the face of people who believe in traditional marriage.

The gay community, who never seemed to have a problem in the past blaming Republicans for AIDS and Matthew Shepard, seem remarkably silent about this President’s position on homosexual marriages and military service. Even the New York Times is starting to question whether the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community has an ally in the White House. But like the rest of her demographic, Wanda refused to question the President on his opinion, or force him to state it publicly.

If non-traditional marriage is, as she said in her Leno panel “an Equal Rights issue,” how could she stand there in front of the leader of the free world, and not demand her civil rights? That routine was the comedy equivalent, of tap dancing for Governor George Wallace.

She should be ashamed of herself.

Look for more of Tim Slagle’s edgy comedy on iTunes and Amazon.