Gary Eaton and Shelli Eaton, the talented songwriters behind Retracto’s theme song, have penned a fabulous tune based around a phrase I use to describe the incessant water-carrying done by the left: administration fellation. They’re a fantastic band, an amalgam of alt-country and rock’n'roll and I’m hoping that they start selling their music so I can buy it, I enjoy their sound that much.

(more…)

I’m starting to doubt if Colbert is a real conservative or just an angry left-wing comedian pretending to be one. Anyone else getting that vibe?

After all, would a real conservative get their news from NPR? How else to explain Colbert’s completely false claim that O’Keefe plead guilty to “tapping” Senator Mary Landrieu’s phone?

Should we send Retracto after Colbert…?

(more…)

I guess it was only a matter of time, but I’m still a little surprised at how quickly the left connected the dots. Always on guard against elaborate right-wing conspiracies, the brain trust over at Crooks and Liars needed just a few hours to uncover the truth: that Breitbart organized the elaborate sting featuring actors posing as doctors to hand out fake ‘medical excuses’ for union protesters.

Even more impressive; they didn’t even get a copy of our internal memo on the operation. They just noted that Breitbart was in Madison and noted that conservative news outlets did the reporting of the ‘fake notes’ scandal. It was a brilliant piece of deduction.

So, it is probably only a matter of time before they learn the full truth. The doctor sting, in fact, was only an afterthought, dreamed up by our research lemur after a tequila binge with Retracto. It was profoundly simple too. The lemur pulled the whole thing off after only about 15 minutes on Gchat.

I’m coming clean: Breitbart staged the entire union protest in Madison. All of it. The Walker proposal, the union protest and the counter protest. Everything. Let me explain.

(more…)

For good reason, Big Hollywood’s normally critical of the Los Angeles Times. But writer Scott Collins deserves kudos for mentioning our Retracto post that caught Roger Ebert trying to feign ignorance of what the term “teabagger” meant. Collins could’ve easily ignored that part of BH’s dispute with the once universally beloved and respected film critic, chose not to, and his decision adds an important layer of context.

Today’s Los Angeles Times:

Andrew Breitbart, publisher of several influential conservative blogs including Big Hollywood, defends Ebert the new-media user while attacking Ebert the political thinker. Breitbart says that Ebert’s Twitter posts reveal a patronizing view of tea party adherents that serves as a “caricature of the liberal mind-set” and that the critic brims with “raw contempt for Middle America.”

What especially irked some conservatives was that Ebert used a nickname for tea party followers that has also long been slang for a sexual act. When Ebert tweeted that he was unaware of the term’s pornographic connotation, Big Hollywood countered that he had referred to such a context in past movie reviews.

But Breitbart adds that the current fracas ultimately proves how much power has tilted to new media and away from mainstream outlets such as newspapers, where Ebert has reviewed movies for more than 40 years.

(more…)

Some of you may follow my work on BigJournalism.com, but for those of you don’t, see here.

“Retracto”

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Credits:

Shelli Eaton- Lead vocals
Michael Broderick – Lead guitar, background vocals
Gary Eaton – Guitar, bass, drums, tambourine, background vocals
Retracto - Vocals
Music and lyrics by Gary Eaton

Retracto

The ass says he doesn’t have a horse in this race
But Retracto knows he does now he’s got egg on his face
The donkeys on the left got owned by a kid
They can say it was a crime but Retracto knows what he did

Retracto
The Correction Alpaca
Retracto
He’s comin’ at ya (more…)