There are a lot of things that most of us would have more use for in life than a new Paris Hilton reality television show.  Some sort of flesh eating virus or a scorching case of crabs comes immediately to mind, but the truth is that she is simply not worthy of another TV time slot. Paris has already had a few bites at the reality television apple.  To call her a ratings juggernaut would be like calling Carrot Top a chick magnet or referring to Bea Arthur as luscious.  In short, giving away a time-slot to Paris is a networks way of unofficially declaring that they have run out of ideas (I wonder why NBC hasn’t built a show around her yet?).  

So while the Oxygen Network is busy promoting “The World According to Paris” and hoping it is the type of “edgy” television that will make that horrible network relevant to the entertainment world, we are giving you a few celebrities who are more worthy of their own show than Paris Hilton. 

Lindsay Lohan is probably a pretty good candidate to have her own reality show.  There are few things that the American television audience likes more than stuff covered in chocolate.  One of the items on that short list would be watching a celebrity crash and burn.  Ironically, that same list would also include the redemption of the aforementioned celebrity, and their return from a booze and cocaine induced brink of disaster.  Lindsay still has pop culture value and considering the fact that the dress she recently wore to court is now sold out just about everywhere, apparently many still find her intriguing.  Let’s face it; it’s only a matter of time before Ms. Lohan shows up on Dr. Drew’s couch at “Celebrity Rehab.”  If she can stay out of jail long enough to make the pretentious claim of “being off the drugs and high on life,” a show that chronicles this burnt out star’s efforts to reignite may be a ratings draw.  Of course if you want to give the viewers what they really want, cover her in chocolate and let nature take its course. 

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Hollywood has a problem.  They are currently losing the cultural popularity contest.  A new Pew research poll shows that only 33% of Americans have a favorable view of entertainment industry.  By way of comparison, Rasmussen reports that 48% of the public identify with the Tea Party movement.  To further add perspective, less than six months after he left office, CNN reported that President Bush’s favorable rating had climbed to 41%, eclipsing that of the denizens of Tinsel town.  So why is the entertainment industry losing the battle for the hearts and minds of the American public?  The answer is simple.  It’s all about values. 

Hollywood did have a Golden Age, and the current time is not it.  While most people know Clark Gable for 8 famous words, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” and his role in the film “Gone with the Wind,” what a lot of people don’t know is that he was a genuine American hero.  At the height of his popularity he enlisted in the military to serve his country during World War II.  As an observer-gunner on a bomber, he participated in 5 combat missions and was almost killed when flak and enemy interceptors nearly took down his B-17.  He was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for heroism.  He was eventually promoted to the rank of major.  While his valor and physical courage were probably uncommon, the values that he represented were not.  

We could pull example after example from Hollywood’s golden age of celebrities who represented values that were more in line with main stream America then they are today, but let’s fast forward about sixty years and see what passes for Hollywood values today.  (more…)

Here it is 2010 and I still don’t have a jet-pack or flying car. Those were the kind of things that I was led to believe would be here by now when I was a little kid. The real problem is that there isn’t one on the horizon either. You know what is in the near future for us? A remake of the Yugo or some other Euro-crap car that doesn’t burn up much dinosaur remains and tops out at a heart stopping 50 or 60 miles per hour.

It is that time of year for me to let my psychic self loose and gaze into the future. Yeah, I know I’m a little late but I promise not to predict anything that has already happened like a lot of your mainstream psychics tend to do. Last year Kevin Costner didn’t even have the decency to make a bad film, so I was o-fer-09. The only way for my psychic score to go is up! (more…)

It’s no secret that the good ol’ stars and starlets of tinseltown have no respect for the men and women of our military. Much like our president, however, they’re smart enough to know that they should act as though they do.

It’s exactly why every now and then a Hollywood celebrity will say that they “support our troops but not the war” or that “these men and women shouldn’t be dying in vain.” Is anybody still fooled by those one-liners anymore? Similarly in our president’s case, it’s why he continually says that he supports our troops without giving them so much as a shred of his time. I’m sure that the men and women putting themselves in harms way will understand though. After all, he’s got a meeting with one Mr. David Letterman.

For those who haven’t yet heard, Obama has met with General Stanley McChrystal (the good man in charge of leading our honorable troops to victory in Afghanistan) only once, yes, ONCE in the last seventy days. So it seems apparent that while Obama has no time to devote to the men and women of our armed services (the same people who ultimately make him look good), he has plenty of time to devote to promoting himself.

As Barack Obama devotes more time to personal press than any other president in history (in record time to boot), it’s becoming more and more glaringly apparent… Our president is more Paris Hilton than General Patton. (more…)

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The MSM discreetly reports that President Obama hasn’t exactly been making good on his pledge to appoint ambassadors from the ranks of foreign service professionals rather than campaign contributors. His pick for Canada, for example, as well as his choice for the Court of St. James, are both Chicago political cronies. And the list goes on.  But in news, just about to break, Hollywood is preparing to reap some plum rewards for its own zealous support.

While what follows is not yet official, my sources are well-placed and their information almost always reliable.

The President, who made commitment to a more animated foreign policy a campaign priority, is apparently about to take a literal step in that direction with two key appointments. (more…)

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Free Health Care, Universal Health Care, Gitmo Prison, Democrats, Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons, Las Vegas, Dick Cheney, Al Gore, San Francisco, and Paris Hilton.

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Part pit bull, part Columbo whacked out on a pot of espresso, they don’t make investigative journalists like Mark Ebner anymore. And that’s good news if you’re a dirt bag, scum bag, douche bag or any sort of Hollywood low-level, window peeping, carpet crawling, masturbation celebrity want-to-be.

Mr. Ebner is one of the few writers left today willing to get down in the gutter with his subjects just to hear their truth. In his new book Six Degrees of Paris Hilton, Mr. Ebner takes you to the places they never show you on “Access Hollywood,” because if the general public could access the side of Hollywood Mr. Ebner uncovers, that tub of popcorn in your lap at the multiplex would serve only one purpose, that of a barf bucket.

I recently had the chance to ask Mr. Ebner about his new book and what his thoughts on the state of Hollywood are today. (more…)