I’m tired of hiding it. Everybody knows anyway. So it’s time to come clean, just like the Klan hoods I’ve got spinning in the dryer as we speak. It’s time for the Neanderthal knuckle-dragging, open mouth-breathing, racist, sexist, Klan and Timothy McVeigh-loving Montana militia member gun nut conservative Republican religious zealot in me to be set free. Repression is a bitch, and so am I.

I go to bed full of hate and wake up the same.  I hate blacks, Hispanics, gays, women, abortion doctors, liberals, Lefties, Democrats, you name ‘em, I hate ‘em if they’re not like me. I especially hate President Obama for being black. Just ask Janeane Garofalo, although being a Stalinist Socialist doesn’t help Obama’s cause any with me. Fact is, Obama could be a GOP Michael Steele Uncle Tom, and I’d still hate him even more than liberals hate Steele. Skin color trumps all. Thank God I was born the right color, or I’d probably kill myself. Wait, the hoods are dry! Be right back. (more…)

Copied below is the ACTUAL letter that I sent to and was signed for by Lorne Micheals (and assistant) today over at NBC. I know that the writing is a little less snippy than usual, but please take into account that this man could squash my nuts into oblivion. There’s plenty of room for suggestions, so I encourage you to chime in.  And bear in mind, Lorne may be stopping by here.

Dear Mr. Michaels

I write this letter not as a disgruntled fan, but as a true admirer of what SNL stands for (and as a fellow Canadian/American). We both know how popular it is to mutter things like “I liked SNL, back when it was good” or “SNL used to be cool, but now their writing sucks etc.” Trust me; I’m as annoyed by those folks as you are. I truly believe that you have one of the most talented casts ever assembled over there at NBC. (more…)