Snorts Morales:

“How is it possible that a Nobel Peace Prize winner leads a gang to attack and invade? This is not a defence of human rights or self-determination.”

Whatever, Evo.

Just remember: you run Bolivia – the world’s third largest producer of cocaine, supplying Europe and South America.

According to the UN, coca production there went from 23,600 hectares in 2003 to 27,500 hectares in 2006 – which would mean something – if I knew what a hectare is.

(I think it’s a ingrown hair).

Anyway, Obama can’t give back the Prize because that would imply it’s worth something to give back – and we know it’s not.

If you remember, the pointlessness of the prize is why Obama got it in the first place. It’s the world’s most overrated doorstop, given to Barack as symbolic rejection of all that came before him – a bouquet for replacing Bush, and for agreeing that American exceptionalism is hooey.

As an acknowledgment of achievement, a spanking carries more weight.

FYI: Morales won the Gaddafi International Prize for Human Rights in 2006, which is like winning The Idi Amin Prize for Best Stew.

Anyway: Funny how the foreigners who believe Obama deserved that Prize are precisely the kind of people who want it back. They are saps who assumed Obama was a bigger idea than the country he governs.

Which is why they should stick to smuggling bricks of coke. (it comes in bricks, right? I wouldn’t know)

And if you disagree with me, you sir are worse than Hitler.

Tonight:

Suzanne Senna is back! aka Brooke Alverez from Onion TV

Terry Schappert!

and the great Joe Derosa!

Most notably missing on the current subject of China’s human rights record is Richard Gere, a man who has championed the Tibetan people for years and one who I believe to be sincere in his cause. In 2008, Mr. Gere took to Washington and said this about the Bush administration and Tibet:

But the Bush administration was not silent on the subject and did more than just show the public where Tibet could be found on a map. In 2007 Bush hosted a very public event for the Dalai Lama (also a Nobel Peace Prize winner) and awarded him one of the highest U.S. honors and called on China to open talks with the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader whom Beijing reviles as a separatist.

In 2009 the current administration snubbed the Dalai Lama before Obama’s trip to Beijing, later holding a private meeting with the exiled leader in the Whitehouse Map Room away from the press and then sending his Holiness out the back door.

Hollywood activist like Richard Gere who only speak out on human rights when they’re able to position their cause through a prism of righteous indignation over a Republican administration and not governments in general, let more people die while they wait for their boogie man to return to the White House. What say you, Mr. Gere?

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Gitmo Terrorists, President Obama, Stimulus Package, United Nations, Copenhagen Climate Change Conference, Nobel Peace Prize, Ashton Kutcher, Obama Cardboard Cutout, Sarah Palin, Rachel Maddow, and Madonna.

The Vulture interviewed ”world-renowned blues legend John Mayer”:

What do you think about health care? Would you take the public option?

Have you ever heard me play guitar? I’m really fucking good. You know what I’m bad at? Answering questions about public health care. This is not in my wheelhouse. Do you have any questions about music? I almost got a mad need to lighten up. You need to lighten up, because the questions you asked me were all troublemaking questions. If someone gave me the Nobel Peace Prize, and I didn’t deserve it, I would just shut my mouth and enjoy the hell out of it.

The full interview is here.

Note: No Nobel Peace Prizes were actually awarded during the making of this video.

Three times this century the Peace Prize has been given to someone for the simple reason they are not George W. Bush. Perhaps they should rename the Noble Peace Prize the “At Least He’s Not George W. Bush Prize.” Maybe the “Liberal Socialist of the Year Prize,” might be better.

Let’s look at some recent winners and see how they have brought peace to the planet. Al Gore (2007) and Wangari Maathai (2004) both scored the “peace” prize for environmental work. I won’t get into the science behind so-called “global warming,” (AKA: “climate change,” and here in the Midwest “the weather”). Nice and very touchy-feely, but exactly how does that help bring world peace?

Perhaps the biggest joke of all was the awarding of the 2001 prize to the U.N. and Kofi “The Embezzler” Annan. This was followed by the 2005 award to the IAEA and Mohamed ElBaradei for stopping the spread of nuclear weapons.

The most important reason I am happy that Mr. Obama won the Nobel is that it shows I am not out of the running for next year’s Nobel Prize in Physics. I would like to send the following announcement to the Nobel Committee: In the next four years I intend to write a unified field theory, explain the nature of all sub-atomic particles and produce endless free energy from cold fusion.

The fact that I have said I intend to do these things makes me as qualified to win the Physics prize as Obama was to win the Peace Prize. In fact, time may show that I am more qualified to win my prize because in the next three years and one half years I will do nothing to set the world of physics back. Can President Obama make the same claim in relation to world peace?

Here’s the problem with good intentions: they don’t accomplish anything. This has been, thus far, the legacy of the Obama Administration. Last week he stood before the folks gathered in Washington D.C. for the gay rights rally and pledged to end “Don’t ask don’t tell.” The only thing is you can’t ask him when he will do this because he can’t tell you!

The President said he would do many things and has done very little except to continue the irrational policy of George W.  — that if you spend enough money people will like you. History has shown us that if you throw money at people the only thing they will do is want it to continue.

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Jenner was recognized by someone at the baggage claim. Conversation ensued. It was just a few months into the Obama presidency and Jenner started talking about how he wanted to give the president the benefit of the doubt but seemed especially struck by the stimulus at the time as a bad idea. There was criticism of Bush, too, on the bailout, but Obama was clearly trying his patience as he tried to wait and see.

So that Jenner’s come out and point-blank said “He’s done nothing” for the Nobel Peace prize doesn’t surprise me. But since it’s such a brief comment, as a CHiPs fan from back in the day, I know it’s not just bomb-throwing. Sounds like just another concerned citizen.

BTW: Can’t a guy pump his gas without a camera? If only the Washington press corps put half as much effort into their jobs as the Hollywood paparazzi does theirs…

The other night, Bill O’Reilly was explaining that this award meant the world would view America as a peace-loving nation.  Brent Budowsky, lectured the “talk America down” Republicans for attacking the announcement, saying ”this is good for America.”  TIm Kaine claimed that the prize was “an affirmation of the fact that the United States has returned to its longstanding role as a world leader.”  America is popular again; may we all celebrate with great enthusiasm.  If only there wasn’t that nagging question of what price President Obama has paid in order usher in this era of good will.   

In January, most conservatives cheered Barack Obama’s actions in Afghanistan and Iraq, where he mostly kept President Bush’s policies intact.  Unfortunately, this agreement on foreign affairs quickly dissolved, as Obama began his series of apology tours through South America, Egypt and Europe.  His administration ignored the corrupt Iranian elections, and gave little to no support to the democracy advocates being killed as they protested in the streets of Tehran.  Weeks later, his administration attempted to bully Honduras into reinstating a corrupt president who had attempted his own coup of the country’s democratic government.  Then our President left our Eastern European allies in the lurch when he abandoned the missile defense system there as a conciliatory move towards the Russians (for which he received nothing in return).  And now we are seeing what may become the beginning of an about face on Afghanistan, as President Obama changes his tune on the Taliban. 

It would seem as though the Nobel committee is only congratulating our President for emasculating America’s role as a leader and advocate for democracy. As usual, America’s popularity rises only when we abandon the position of strength which has secured both ourselves and our allies over the past eight years.  Rush Limbaugh said it best with these words: “[The world] love[s] a weakened, neutered US, and this is their way of promoting that concept.” 

Of course, by taking this stance, Rush and the rest of us have “thrown in [our] lot with the terrorists” according to the DNC.  Democrats would rather we blindly cheer as our President wins a popularity contest, while our enemies gather and strengthen their own positions.  This last week, America’s status as an economic world leader weakened further as rumors surfaced that the Gulf states were considering abandoning the dollar. At the same time, our President risks emboldening terrorists around the world as he toys with the idea of giving the Taliban any sort of victory in Afghanistan.  

So, I’m afraid this moment of triumph for America is anything but.  While some may be tempted to smile and wave as our President accepts this award as some sort of victory for our national pride I can’t help but picture a beaming Carrie being crowned the prom queen as a bucket of pig’s blood hovers dangerously above.

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One of the classiest moments in the history of show biz starts at right around the three-minute mark.

Obviously, the comparison to Obama’s Nobel win is a little unfair. After all, Rhames actually accomplished a great performance. He wasn’t handed the award after a couple weeks of rehearsal.