Breaking News: Too much “Spongebob Squarepants” is bad for your kids. Yes, it’s true. The professionals have proven this.

Angeline Lillard and Jennifer Peterson from the University of Virginia’s department of psychology wanted to see “whether a fast paced television show immediately influences preschool-aged children’s executive function (eg. self-regulation, working memory).” The children who chose to watch “SpongeBob” instead of “Caillou” (a slow-paced cartoon on PBS meant for preschoolers) or drawing, performed poorly on tests, which included puzzles and counting backwards.

Of course Nickelodeon responded, and I agree with them. Why would these women choose “SpongeBob?” SpongeBob is not meant for preschoolers and therefore it’s not an appropriate show to use for a test. Plus the kids only saw nine minutes of the program. Shouldn’t they watch the entire episode? The researchers also polled the parents before and asked if their kids had a normal attention span. The Nickelodeon executive raises a good point when she wonders why any parent would admit their child doesn’t have a normal attention span. Honestly, I think I’d lie about that too.

Remember my post on “Sesame Street?” What’s the best way to push an agenda? CHILDREN. After all, how can you possibly argue when children are in danger? Dr. Dimitri Christakis says this study gives credence to the idea that media exposure is a public health issue. No, Doctor. Polio is a public health issue. Not “SpongeBob SquarePants.”

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Editor’s Note: Please welcome Tommy Wood and encourage his return! — JN

Could it be that somewhere, someone is targeting our kids?  Not with bullets made of lead but with surgical strikes of agenda.  A scheme scripted and softly veiled (sometimes not) into the nonsensical programming they love so much.  As if the ridiculous plot points and mind-numbing hyperactivity aren’t bad enough, there is something else in play that’s even more contrived than their recycled storylines.  Some might think me hypersensitive, but consider this…  if you see it in media, it is on purpose.  It was written, rehearsed, shot, edited and delivered. 

If it’s in there, it’s intentional.  Never forget that.

How about a date?

So what, then, am I so tweaked about?  I’m a father of three children; ages six, eleven and thirteen.  For years, it has troubled me that a selection of children’s shows were laced with strains of propaganda and amoral thought.  Some suggest they have scientific proof that modern children’s programming dumbs one down.  But, it has the potential to be much more dangerous than that.  No matter what side of the political fence you are on, there is one thing upon which I think we can all agree.  We don’t want our children exposed to certain subject matter before they are ready, much less have someone else’s opinion subconsciously embedded in their minds.

I’m guessing by now you would like an example.  I’m cool with that.  As funny as the show can be, one of the repeat offenders is Nickelodeon’s iCarly.  They follow the standard “aimed at tweens” obsession with first kisses, gross-out gags, rebellion and celebrity status.  The show is full of small desensitizing moments that include a half-naked chubby boy, made up “cuss” words and disrespect for adults.  Not too long ago, an episode called iWant MY Website Back aired.  Spencer, Carly’s crazy adult brother, dressed in elderly drag in order to hoodwink the grating Nevel.  The affable Jerry Trainor, who plays Spencer, sold the gag and yes, it was funny when an older man was mistakenly taken with her… I mean him.  If it stopped there, fine.  Of course, it did not.  Later in the episode the doorbell rings, and it’s the old man.  With a desperate tone, he tells Spencer to put the wig back on, and they can try again.  At a minimum, this brings into question sexual orientation.  So many issues are layered in that moment that we almost have to applaud the writer’s skill at subtext (just kidding).  Still, should this content be couched in a primetime kids’ show on a kids’ network? 

Don’t answer yet.

I have an even more unsettling example.  Remember … if it’s in there, it is on purpose.

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On March 26, I was watching the Kids’ Choice Awards with my 8-year-old twins on Viacom’s Nickelodeon, which for 30 years has been the No. 1 entertainment brand for kids. It was dedicated to the Big Green Help environmental campaign and “going green” for Earth Day awareness. Leonardo DiCaprio was honored for his green work. Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson was the host, and my fellow Hollywood stars and musicians came out in full force.

An impressive commitment was shown to keeping the message of Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” as a battle cry for our youths’ participation in protecting Mother Earth from global warming and pollution. My children were enthusiastic. I was confused. Something bothered me, and I could not put my finger on why – until Memorial Day weekend.

It started on Saturday morning, when I took my 8-year-old son, Nicholas, who is a Cub Scout, to the Los Angeles National Cemetery. About 2,700 Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, from Cub to Eagle, convened to place flags on more than 84,000 gravesites of America’s finest. It was a moving, profound experience.

One would expect a lot of running and playing among these youngsters as they performed their task. But, no. At each site, they stood at attention, recited the name of the service member and then saluted. Within two hours, 84,000 flags proudly waved in the gentle breeze. (more…)