No, it’s not The Ann Coulter Story.

The movie is We The Living, based on the Ayn Rand novel of the same title.  Rand said that We The Living “is as near to an autobiography as I will ever write.”

Conservatives and libertarians have long lamented the scarcity of movies that depict the evils of communism.  Let’s see, there’s Doctor Zhivago, The Killing Fields, The Lives of Others, and… and, well, now there’s We The Living — a long-lost classic filmed in 1942, and now available on DVD for the first time ever.

WTL takes place soon after the Bolshevik takeover of Russia (which Rand experienced as a young woman).  The stunning Alida Valli plays Kira, a fiery college student who detests the communists ruining her country.  (Valli is perhaps best known to American audiences for her indelible performances in The Third Man and The Paradine Case.)

Kira’s formerly bourgeois family struggles to survive as the government outlaws most private trade, rations food and shelter, and implements health-care death panels.  (Okay, I might be confused about that last part.)

Life is a grind for all but the politically privileged.  The masses endure shortages and injustice, while well-connected Party members enjoy special treatment and profit from corruption.  Everything is politicized:  the economy, education, even science (as Party officials inform Kira and her fellow students).

But some forces override politics and even good sense.  At college one day, secret police officer Andrei (Fosco Giachetti) overhears Kira pouring scorn on Bolshevism.  Instead of arresting Kira, the officer is smitten with her.  In turn Kira develops a respect for Andrei bordering on love, despite their ideological differences.

Shortly thereafter, Kira has a chance encounter with the handsome, mysterious Leo (Rossano Brazzi), a free spirit like her, hunted by the authorities.  Kira and Leo have an immediate, almost animal chemistry.

This is one of the most affecting scenes in the movie, an instance of “love at first sight” made credible by the sublimity of the acting.  When they agree to see each other in a month in the same spot, you can’t wait for that month to pass so you can see what happens next.  From here unfolds a tragic romantic triangle marked by jealousy, deception and sacrifice.

WTL has some of Rand’s most layered characters.  In her later work, a character like Andrei the communist might be portrayed as an unalloyed villain.  But in WTL, Andrei gradually reveals a sensitive and decent humanity at odds with his repellent politics.  (Who hasn’t encountered such paradoxes in real people?)

The story behind the movie is nearly as remarkable as the film itself, further proof there is little daylight between fascism and communism.  (Jonah Goldberg, call your book editor.)

We The Living was made during World War II in Mussolini’s Italy, of all places.  The government warily allowed it to be filmed as a propaganda vehicle against the Soviet Union.  But when Mussolini realized the movie was a critique not only of communism but of all forms of statism, he banned it from theatres, where it was a smash hit.

The government rounded up and destroyed all copies of the film – save one, the original negative, which was secreted away.  As we are informed by the fascinating documentary (included among the DVD extras), the film’s reels languished unseen for decades until Rand’s attorneys went hunting for it among the Italian film community.

Duncan Scott, who produced the DVD release, explains how as a young editor he talked his way into recutting and subtitling the film alongside Ayn Rand herself. WTL had originally been released as two separate films.  They combined them, trimmed away some of the excess, and removed or redubbed pro-fascist propaganda speeches inserted at the insistence of the authorities.

Scott tells how in the original version, Andrei delivered a heated diatribe against the evils of capitalism.  Needless to say, this speech didn’t exactly belong.  Not content merely to change the subtitles, Scott actually hired a sound-a-like Italian actor so he could redub the voice track in Italian to match the new subtitles.

Unfortunately the digital transfer was done in 1987, and the cost of a high-definition remastering was prohibitive for this DVD release, so the picture quality isn’t quite as crisp as one might wish.  Nevertheless, it is completely watchable.

Considering the circumstances under which We The Living was made and later restored, this inspiring classic is a tremendous achievement, and a worthy addition to every liberty-lover’s DVD library — and to the too-brief list of films exposing the pitfalls of socialism in whatever form.

Me: So, I found this article by Secretary of Defense Gates: “China Could Undermine U.S. Military Power in the Pacific.”  China is expanding its navy in the Pacific to secure disputed territories in the South China Sea with lots of oil and gas.  A Tom Clancy/Harrison Ford thriller.  I’ve followed the Chinese military since the nineties and it’s a central plot of my novel, “Stealing Thunder.” (Shameless Plug! 600 pages long; waiting for Amazon jerks to come through with the darn discount price…).   Think “Clear and Present Danger,” “Hunt for Red October”…

Executive: Liked ‘Sum of All Fears.’

Me: Yes, but the terrorists in the book become cliched neo-Nazis in the film, remember?  Gates said that we should be concerned with China’s “… cyber and anti-satellite warfare, anti-air and anti-ship weaponry.”

I studied “Unrestricted Warfare,” a book written by two Chinese colonels. Their strategy won’t bankrupt their Free-Enterprise-as-long-as-The-Generals-Get-Their-Cut Economy like the Socialist Soviet Union under Reagan’s brilliant strategy.  They said, “One war [1991 Gulf War] changed the world. [Look at] all the new words that began to appear after 17 January 1991. It is only necessary to cite the former Soviet Union, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Kosovo, cloning, Microsoft, hackers, the Internet, the Southeast Asian financial crisis, the euro, as well as the world’s final and only superpower — the United States.”  New technology, a big canvas, a huge VFX trailer!

Executive: But, well, that implies that the socialist Chinese officials are, well, bad guys.  Just because they use North Korea as a proxy against Japan and the U.S. for nuclear weapons development, claim territory in the South China Sea disputed by a dozen nations and shot down hundreds of democracy activists in Tienanmen Square doesn’t really mean they’re bad guys.  Just a different…lifestyle.

Me: Okay, how ‘bout a Tienanmen Square angle? A few dozen activists morph into thousands hungering for freedom.  They even build a “Goddess of Democracy.”

Executive: Bit too much Statue of Liberty rah-rah, if you know what I mean.  Might be construed as supporting the troops.  That can’t fly.

Me: Ooooookay.  See, the demonstrators are crushed by Communist tanks and soldiers in a brutal crackdown that claims hundreds of lives. Thousands more go to jail.   Drama, and––

Executive: The DVD division is struggling for market penetration with the Blu-Rays, so can we call the country…oh, I don’t know…Mushamar, or Sinesia?  Gotta have that market.  How can democracy activists really be against a socialist government?

Me: Gotcha.  Let’s not focus on an event that might anger Beijing when it bids for the next Olympics and bans athletes and former athletes who’ve spoken out on behalf of Tibet, democracy activists — in a generic way of course – and minorities.  Consider a general human rights angle?  Small story, village in China having an election…

Executive removes shoe and plucks at string on his sock.

Executive: Small is good, small is lower budget.

Me: The village people are suppressed by the local left-wing Party Boss in Free speech, Free press, property rights, Freedom of Religion, etc… When local elections are held in these outlying areas in a “democracy experiment,” communist party cadre are invariably voted out.  We have our Hero and…

Executive: There’s that government angle!  And you said, “Village people.”  You’re thinking about a soundtrack deal?   Instead of “YMCA,” maybe something like, “Why My Blu-Ray…”

Me: No, not the Village People band but real village people.  Workers,  families, even people persecuted for their beliefs like the Falun Gong, and Christians.

Executive: Nobody ever believes that Christians have been persecuted…

Me: Only outside of Hollywood. Well, you can get into trouble for just distributing Bible’s for God’s sake. We could even include some Tibetans who walk around in saffron robes and get stun guns shoved in their mouths during interrogation–-

Executive: No Tibetans. That will kill our DVD sales in Shanghai.

Me: Okay, corporate?

Executive: Love it!  Corporations are always evil, always, always, always.

Me: But…don’t you work for a corporation?

Executive: Except mine.

Me: I see.  So this corporation censors Free Speech, working in collusion with an evil government.  And this company “has been assisting the Chinese government to censor and monitor its citizens’ Internet usage. It has removed web sites and articles that the Chinese government bans from its results.”  I even read an article  that  Jiang Mianheng, the son of the former President Jiang Zemin, wanted a demonstration of high-speed Internet searches.  So the engineer put his father’s name into the Google search engine. Shock!  Horror! Three of the top ten stories spelled out crimes committed by the senior Jiang during his socialist reign.  And ”Evil Jiang Zemin” came up as top hit! Jiang Mianheng ordered the website censored.   Favorable responses only! Media manipulation!  High stakes corporate shenanigans. Like Clive Owen and Julia Roberts in “Duplicity 2,” called “Duplicitious About Google.”

Executive: Google!  And damage our ad campaigns!!! Not to mention all the links we’d probably lose!

Me: But Google has a motto, “Do No Evil,” so it’s corruption between an all powerful dominating corporation with a despotic government. No?!  Okay, how about a reporter. Yahoo supplied the whereabouts of a Chinese journalist, Shi Tao, to the authorities.  Tao worked for Contemporary Business News. He got ten years in jail for violating a state secrets act: emailing the Chinese propaganda department guidelines for writing about the 1989 Tienanmen Square massacre on its 15th anniversary.

Executive: Can he be from the Post?  We could get great lead coverage.

Me: Okay, go with financial manipulation?  The two Chinese colonels maintain that, “…that the financial attack on East Asia… represent(s) semi-warfare, quasi-warfare, and sub-warfare, that is, the embryonic form of another kind of warfare.” A greedy international capitalist predator crushes the Malaysian economy for personal gain!  George Soros!

Executive: And lose all my dinner invitations?!  We have eight graphic novel comic book movies in the pipeline.  Where do you think we get our merchandise from? China!

Me: “Okay, forget it.  I’m going to write it on my own.  Somebody will buy it.  Somebody will make it.

If…only….I can…..  Why didddd the Inter…net get so slowwww? But….I hav to writ that sc…ipt…  My made hard drive is…buzzing loudly…now smoking…   Damn, it’s Made in China.

My movie won’t be.

There is, obviously, some overlap: Not all art entertains (though some does); not all entertainment is art (though some is).  At bottom, it seems, the difference is one of intent – the artist seeks to connect us with larger meanings, larger truths about the world, about ourselves.  The primary focus of art is therefore to illuminate, with any entertainment had in the process merely a bonus.

The goal of the entertainer, on the other hand, is perhaps less sublime, though no less worthy – to distract, to tickle, to stimulate the fancy.  Entertainment is at bottom diversion, and I say this without a trace of disdain – often it is the quality and quantity of our diversions which makes the difference between a joyful life and a merely bearable one.

One year ago this weekend, a beating black heart pulsed in summer’s midst: The Dark Knight.  It was big-budget, comic book based franchise movie, made for popcorn eaters seeking suitable summer diversion.  And It delivered beyond the filmmakers wildest expectations – the masses were so entertained that they lifted it up into the box office stratosphere in grateful recompense.

And yet…

There was something different about The Dark Knight, something which separated it from its innumerable costume-wearing, crime-fighting brethren.  Something weighty, a gravity which distorted its appearance in interesting ways.  For instance, more of the story of The Dark Knight takes place during the day than in any previous Batman film.  And yet no comic book movie was ever so black and bleak; it seems to take place in an unending polar night, not some sunny Chicago day.

Even common film tropes are distorted by this gravity, and bend backwards in on themselves: Lieutenant James Gordon is shot and killed…only to later reappear, his ‘death’ having been an elaborate head-fake for the benefit the film’s villains…and us.  Lots of movies have this type of false death.  The difference?  We believe Gordon’s death; the film unfolds in such a manner as to make clear that no one is safe, a suspicion confirmed when, only a short while later, Bruce Wayne’s childhood friend, and love interest to both Wayne and Harvey Dent, is blown to bits in front of our eyes.  This combination of reassurance and disaster, of sigh-of-relief then sucker punch, makes clear – there are no rules in this film.

Which, of course, is exactly how the Joker would want it.  The only sensible way to live in this world, the Joker tells a demoralized and disfigured Harvey Dent, is without rules.  Why would this movie, his movie, be any different?

In that same scene, the Joker puts a loaded gun into Harvey’s hand, then puts his own head to the barrel as he confesses to Dent “I’m an agent of chaos.”  It was in that moment that I realized what Chris Nolan was up to: This isn’t the Joker – it’s the Devil.

Heath Ledger’s villain is not the macabre clown who battled Batman on the pages of the D.C. comics for most of the 20th century.  He is the serpent from the Old Testament who has battled God for most of eternity.   The genius of The Dark Knight is to give this eternal adversary a form well suited for our post 9-11 world – the man who blows up buildings and wages war on civilization itself.

Satan as Osama – that is Heath Ledger’s Joker, and the heart of The Dark Knight.  By entangling our most ancient and mythic tormentor with our most recent real life villain, The Dark Knight simultaneously plays on our most primal and frightening suspicions: 1) That anyone can become a villain (wasn’t Lucifer the light-bearing angel most favored by God?  Wasn’t Dent the most virtuous of public servants?), and 2) that the veneer of civilization is paper thin, and no match for even one man with bullets and gasoline and the will to use them.

By daring to step into those pooling shadows, The Dark Knight attains something higher than mere diversion.  Dare I say it?

Art.

When it comes to humor I’m super picky. I physically cringed at all but one of the multiple fart jokes in Pixar’s Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. I still don’t get The Three Stooges. Call me uptight. Slapstick without redeeming intellectual humor, toilet jokes, sexual references, and ”shock” scenarios do nothing for me.  So how is it possible that I laughed myself sick while watching Bruno? That’s easy. Because, goofy as it pretends to be, it is a pretty smart film. 

You’ve probably heard that this film is about homophobia, but the story arc is about what it takes to become a celebrity.  Frankly, both facets are hilarious. 

This satire has real teeth, and it’s also fair. I completely disagree with the reviews that claim it mocks middle America, puts “innocent” people on the spot or casts them in a bad light. If anything this film ruthlessly savages Hollywood. The scenes with stage mothers are so appalling that the audience collectively gasped and groaned. One hopes that this exposure will, at the very least, lead to interventions from Social Services and cause us to rethink some of the “entertainment” exemptions from child labor laws. Cohen introduces us to women who are willing to have their babies/toddlers strung up on crucifixes, dressed like Nazis, subjected to bees/wasps, and driven in cars at high speeds without restraints. (Personally, I hope this leads to actual arrests). One toddler’s mother adds that she’s okay with all of that, “if he’s got the job.” 

Other fun includes exposing a Hollywood PR agency that doesn’t have a clue or a care about the causes they claim to promote. When Cohen posits that his cause will be “Dar-five” (as opposed to Darfur) the  reaction is priceless. 

But how do the average folks fare here? Pretty darn well, if you ask me, and this film doesn’t make much of them either way. Among the only average folks in this film are the hunters Bruno camps with, who, in my opinion, comport themselves admirably, despite the filmmaker’s best attempts to provoke a reaction. Is homophobia alive and well in America? This particular snapshot says not so much. Even the military seems at ease (almost shockingly so) with Cohen’s antics. 

While Paula Abdul uses a Mexican migrant worker as furniture (literally), the audience of a local Texas talk show demonstrates genuine concern for Bruno’s “adopted son,” OJ.  A social worker is called upon to intervene. 

Sure, Cohen exposes some disturbing trends east of Hollywood. The two reverends who claim to be able to “cure” homosexuality are as ripe for satire as any stage mom. They raise some flags, but frankly come off as tawdry and confused and somehow not quite as sinister as their California counterparts. 

The most disturbing scene in the film is the wrestling match in which Cohen takes on an entirely different character who is boldly anti-gay, and who then proceeds to…well, shock the audience at hand. This scene is far more tense and frightening than humorous, and made me fear for the safety of the camera crew, never mind the principle actors. This is the only scene that felt gratuitous, and yet on another level it was probably the most insightful. In other words, those who came off poorly deserved it. The hooting wrestling fans were truly scary. And if Cohen had been clocked with that metal folding chair by the crowd he deliberately riled? It would have been tough to argue that he didn’t deserve it. 

Another uncomfortable scene in the story is Ron Paul’s “interview.” This segment is part of the celebrity story arc (Bruno attempts to make a sex tape with Ron Paul to garner world fame), and Paul’s reaction has been described by some as homophobic. I thought the Congressman handled the situation surprisingly well, but judge for yourself. 

About that fine line between stupid and clever: Mike Long is on the right track when he invokes Bill Hicks and Howard Stern and Penn & Teller. Not because they ”break barriers,” which isn’t inherently funny. But because their work is smart. You don’t have to agree with Bill Hicks’s politics to understand that the guy could write a brilliant joke. You don’t need to enjoy the entire Howard Stern show to understand that he conducts celebrity interviews that put Rolling Stone to shame, and that he’s used his radio pulpit to defend the First Amendment more vociferously, and maybe more effectively, than almost anyone. And if you haven’t seen Penn & Teller’s brilliant program on Showtime, it’s your loss. 

But Bruno isn’t for everyone. If you enjoy smart, biting satire, and you aren’t put off by coarse language or sexual scenarios, you’ll love it. If you’re afraid that this film mocks middle America, or that it ambushes average people, a la Michael Moore — your fears are misplaced. 

Like most laugh-out-loud comedies, this is best appreciated in the theater. And if you enjoy comedy that reaches — even reaches a little further than it grasps — then I highly recommend that you buy the ticket and take the ride.

Such is the power of a single word.

That power has not diminished but only increased with an ADD, multi-channel, hyperactive media-centric world. The silver screen has long given us immortal dialogue which now blends so deeply into the culture that people may not know their origin, but we know the meaning.  A wise man I know said, “Image creates perception, perception creates reality.”  It couldn’t be more true in the film business.

–

In a media-centric world, from motion pictures to internet to phones, we are pounded with images, forming our perceptions and then creating our reality. How fast did the Internet meme “Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys” become a daily reference at the coffee klatch, in your email, or on phone calls?  Not long.  We forget how powerful words can be when written in a clever and pithy way.  The masters of dialogue like Charles Brackett, Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond, and the Epstein brothers, knew irreverent and immortal lines.  And as producers, writers or just Americans who appreciate a good, nimble turn of a phrase, we should excel at creating phrases that demonstrate the values we hold dear.  Don’t understand?  “What we have here is a failure to communicate!”

Why bother?  Movies (and other media) create the Culture.  Culture creates America.  America creates the world.  When we talk media and politics, this nimble phrase can radiate far and wide.  Great dialogue resonates in our brains for weeks, months, even years.  Our own snappy comebacks to important values issues can demonstrate a better point of view, an attitude and an insight.  Of course, you could use radical phrases like, “I love America” and “I’m against terrorism,” but write up your own snappy comebacks on issues and policy to share with friends.  As human beings, we remember great Moments.  Movies create moments.  Great dialogue reminds of those moments and their images.  And great lines can change minds.

We cannot forget the line, used by recent Tea Party groups, “I’m as mad as hell, I’m not going to take it anymore.” And in political theater, who uttered the line, “There you go again”?  Ronald Reagan in the debate with Jimmy Carter.  It pounded Carter on national TV.  Reagan was the President who best understood the nexus of the Power of Media and the Power of Strength when confronting enemies like Soviet International Socialism.  Reagan knew from his long career in radio, films, television, and public speaking that people longed for memorable phrases by which to guide their lives.  The simpler, the better – easier to remember, easier to repeat, easier to live by.  Why else are words of wisdom from great books and the Ten Commandments short and to the point?

So what does this have to do with any of us?  The genius of the American people is self-evident.  No society on earth has created such a robust population, teeming with energy and creating a vast marketplace of ideas.  When talking with friends, family or working in the media world, each of us can create dialogue that spreads our values and our message about the troops, our country, and more.  I saw a TV show one day where some actress proclaimed that a man who tried to sexually assault her was either a “pervert or Clarence Thomas.”  A few words and this image becomes a perception that morphs into a reality for millions (or in the case of this show), thousands of viewers about this noble Justice.  When Homeland Security head Janet Napolitano reframes terrorism into “Man Caused Disaster,” she’s putting auto exhaust sparks that accidentally caused a thousand acre fire on the same level as planes slamming into buildings of innocent Americans.  “The greatest trick the devil every played was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”

Words everywhere matter. “You want answers?  I want the truth!  You can’t handle the truth!” Words are weapons.  When you refer to China, use the term, “Socialist Left-wing dictatorship.”  The prisoners in Chinese gulags, persecuted Christians and political dissidents will attest to that.  If somebody mentions “Religious Right,” then counter with “Atheist Left.”  It’s never “Gun Control” but “Second Amendment Civil Rights.” Newspapers are infected with political correctness.  “Islamic rioters in France” are “disaffected youth,” according to some reporters.  Does “cheese eating surrender monkeys” come to mind?

Whenever I’m given an application or form with boxes for “Race,” I  check “Other:________” and write one word.

“Human.”

“Human,” Hollywood…single words can be powerful.  Revolutionary.  Watch the words you use in your everyday life and in your work to reflect the values we hold dear about Freedom and America.  There’s great tradition in snappy comebacks and immortal phrases to change the culture, America, and the world.  Words are our First Freedom, but everyday we have to ask ourselves…

“Is it safe?”

In its 20 All-Time Coolest Heroes in Pop Culture rankings, Entertainment Weekly listed 007 #1 — a move not likely to please fan’s of every hippie’s favorite spy (other than Valerie Plame), that assassin with a conscience, Bourne. In fact, if EW was going to run a Top 2 All-Time Most Cheesed Off Folks right now, it might rank Bourne’s cinematic creators –Team America star Matt Damon and United 93 director Paul Greengrass — in that order.

Damon or Greengrass seem obsessed with attacking the James Bond films and the character himself every chance they get. Mixing up a bitter soup of professional envy at Bond’s legacy and success, personal insecurity at producing movies beholden to Bond and (of course) self-righteous political arrogance, both artists froth at every opportunity to brand Ian Fleming’s creation a soulless killer. Ignoring Bond’s efforts to battle terrorism and global crime, they stamp him a militarist imperialist misogynist.

That’s a lot of “ist”s to heap on a fictional character, and the Damon/Greengrass vitriol festival seems unwilling to turn the same critical eye toward their own non-corporeal screen creation. While Robert Ludlum’s character is an impressive and skilled killing machine, the movie Bourne is gloomy, bitter, self-absorbed and motivated only by personal revenge and the desire to be left alone (a trait of questionable heroic value).

But Bourne fights predominantly middle-aged white men in suits who are part of the military and intelligence establishments. Combine that with the character’s inherent narcissism, and he’s the perfect screen hero for the hard left.

But EW left him out of their Top 20 — a decision that could indicate Bourne is already fading into also-ran spy status as Daniel Craig and the Bond franchise flourish. In fact, whether the magazine’s editors realize it or not, the EW list is very conservative friendly, including fine, upstanding badasses like Dirty Harry, Jack Bauer and Batman. Then again, the left alienates itself from heroic qualities when it so frequently surrenders to moral relativism and the simple-minded “weak always good, strong always bad” mentality. So, it’s hard to balance such a list politically.

There’s talk of another Greengrass/Damon/Bourne project in Hollywood, but that series will never match Bond’s pop culture significance and historic resonance with movie fans — and that will forever burn in the guts of hard left ideologues who forget “it’s only a movie.”

Congratulations on the fine work you did with the recent Hollywood hoopla thing.  What are those golden statues called again…Arthurs?  Oscars?  Ollivers?  No matter.  The fine art of idolatry is becoming your forte, my dear nephew.  With the powers of a willing media and the brilliance of commercialism prevalent, it’s no wonder the masses turn to your town for direction and meaning.  I chuckle with delight to see how real meaning and substance is more and more becoming passé, and overlooked for the sizzle and bling of the ephemeral.  You make your uncle proud to see that you are once again the year’s big producer for thirty years running…and gaining even more new customers every month.

Your work on the special interest groups is particularly impressive.  You are keenly aware that, pound for pound of effort, this is where we gain the most purchase in our clawing scramble over the human psyche.  Continue to stress their inherent oppression and victimization, so that our aims may be met.  Nothing makes a poor soul feel more empowered than believing itself to be a part of a large, aggrieved and neglected group.  Build on their individual sense of outrage and anger, along with their helpless sense of futility.  Remind them that they are being victimized, and must demand their rights!  I know you are laughing right now, as am I.  But drive the seriousness of their indignant and violated pride, and demand restitution for the wrongs perpetrated upon them.  (As for the specific nature of these ‘wrongs’, either real or imagined, simply fill in the blank; a group is a group, and we can use any and all of them for our purposes.) And good that you can work the golden idols into so many hands that help legitimize our work. That Penn character is an excellent poster boy.  In fact, increase the irreverence, step up the hatred of our Enemy and brighten the public celebration of him, as his flippant outrageousness masquerades as gravitas.    We can trade on his magnetic popularity, and draw the proverbial moth to the flame.  Continue your brilliant work in framing his disrespect and hatred of Judeo-Christian ethics and traditional values as hip and ‘progressive’.   

I’m laughing again too, my dear nephew, as one muses upon what it is exactly that they are progressing towards.   I join you in salivating over the exquisite moment of discovery as the poor scums awaken to the wretched fate that awaits them.  

In fact, I must commend you in the highest for your skillful sleight-of-hand with regards to the English language.  The catch-phrase taken to high art.  Love those words, and all like it: Hope…Change…Believe….that you have artfully injected into the American lexicon.  And my favorite, ‘Economic Justice’.  Oh, my heart swells with pride over the millions of souls now residing with us, all brought in with that simple, sweet fabrication.   Your dazzling virtuosity at somehow applying honor and dignity to a base concept previously held by murderers and highwaymen has enthralled all of us on the Lower Council.  You’ve done your uncle proud.  Keep it up, as it affects my reputation if you falter.  And trust me, you wouldn’t want that. 

At the endless award shows in your town, I commend you that fewer and fewer award winners are thanking the Enemy for their success.   Your relentless work at making that whole thing appear as a ‘fad’ is paying off.  Fads come into fashion, and they leave just as quickly.  Religion as a fad is one of our greatest tricks, and you seem to be a master at the joystick. 

So kudo’s on your work in Hollywood. And even better, your push on bringing Islam to popularity amongst the minorities is noteworthy.  This is where you should throw most of your energies, as this movement has the greatest possibility of bearing much fruit in the near term.  Placing it on a parity with Christianity is brilliant;  as to the latter, we must be stalwart and obsessive in our drive to make it seem like ‘just another religion’…and it’s center point as ‘just another great prophet’.   Remove the deity and relegate him to just another man with some pretty good ideas.  Like Buddha, and Mohammad and Gandhi and Moses.  I like your innovation in that Kabbalah thing, and the celebrities’ devotion and publicizing.  Let it be seen as the ‘fun’ religion, like (as one comedienne was quoted) a cross between Judaism…and magic!    

And Scientology…well done!  However I fear you’ve let that fall into disrepute of late.  Watch that, as it had been rendering wonderful results.  I would pump up its respectability and emphasize the powerful successes of human achievement and empowerment.  (I mean, it has Cruise and Travolta, how bad could it be?) 

Continue to frame Muslims worldwide as victims, and let that drive their noble respectability.  See how they suffer, and yet their devotion allows them to struggle onward.  Pump the ‘unity’ factor to appeal to more Blacks in America.  Bring Farrakhan back into prominence; see if you can get that new president to hasten that.  Pull in some favors in the Hollywood community; you know Oprah’s good for it. 

In Hollywood, continue to slam the image of our Enemy.  His forbearance must be taken as weakness and ineffectuality.   Even better, as a sign that He isn’t there at all.  A ghost, a phantom, just some dreamed-up apparition of fantasy.  This is our ultimate hope – actualizing a prevalent accepted belief that both His world…and ours…are merely childish inventions of superstitious mystics and cretins; and have no place in the evolved ‘progressive’ world of material technology.

Our master’s flag is firmly planted atop the American media.  With our endless cultural seductions, and our more than willing political and media accomplices, we will drive the Enemy out of that country and out of the world.  Soon it won’t even be a memory…but a bad joke.  A punch line.  Like saying grace before a meal, or a nighttime prayer, the practitioners of such practices will be seen as demented…weak…deluded.  Simpletons who shun reality for fruitless conversations with their invisible and ‘imaginary friend’.  Run this theme around Hollywood enough and it will be the subject of the next Academy-Awarded film.

But most importantly, my dear nephew, congratulations on the wonderful work you are doing in the hearts of the filmmakers themselves.  The themes they are aggrandizing are truly inspired.  Infidelity, murder, incest…yes, all good themes, and our ‘marquis players’…but the new ones you are instilling – masterful.  Child rape.  Torture and sadism.  Psychological torment beyond my wildest dreams!  Oh, nephew, you should see your proud uncle beaming at your inventive resourcefulness.  Our little creatures celebrate such fare with nearly the same gushing gusto as we do.  Little do they know by repeatedly immersing themselves into the Great Darkness they grow closer and closer to it, to us…and eventually are absorbed by it.  Oh!  My heart sings for their painful future…and my laughter is gurgling up from my bowels, as I contemplate our inevitable union and the surprised looks on their poor pathetic little faces as it’s all over and they realize that their new home for eternity…is with us in the Great Black Void. 

Sorry for the delay in sending this, but I was so overcome with rapture that I had to lie down for several days just to calm myself.   But now I’m back, and I must tell you something sincerely…

Your mighty work, done in the interstitial spaces of time and matter, or what the little creatures call ‘the spiritual realm’… is indeed becoming epic.  The inroads you are carving into the society of creatures are staggering.  And you make it seems so easy!   The so called ‘pop culture’ is literally dismantling all the horrid goodness the Enemy has constructed almost faster than we can keep up to facilitate it!  It’s like a runaway train on steroids!  Oh the utter sad and sick, demented joy of it, my nephew…

I have heard that you are in line for promotion to the Supreme Sepulcher of Elders; for the rumors are that the things you are accomplishing down here in the movie capitol of the world…are the things of legend.  Our Dark Father has hinted at great things to come for you…and more importantly, for me.  For you wouldn’t be where you are if it wasn’t for my urging and discipling and counseling.  So don’t think for one second that you will descend without me, you ungrateful bastard, or I’ll cut off your pathetic little… 

Dear me, I apologize, I get so worked up when I muse about such things.  I have the utmost confidence you’ll take my best interests to heart, my dear nephew. 

Or else.

Your affectionate uncle, NEWSRAPE

Parcbench does not profess to be like most other publications, although we have derived much inspiration from Big Hollywood and its founder, Andrew Breitbart, who has agreed to join our Board of Advisors.  And we believe that we share a common mission.  Specifically, we strive to bring people pop-culture that reflects mainstream America.  

While we intend to deliver a fair share of policy and political coverage as well, we will focus on the culture that makes our nation the richest and most diversified in the world.  We will do it not just through parcbench.com but in person, in your town, on your college campus, and without the liberal spin that one finds in virtually every other cultural media outlet.  

Our magazine will feature stories on current events, television, music, celebrities, movies, fashion, style, art, architecture, health, food, books, sports, and the military.  We aspire to promote a brand that explores everything and cultivates a following that is intensely curious and patriotic.  

Most importantly, Parcbench is beholden to no one.  We owe no allegiance to any corporations or politicians.  We will tell it like it is, including who and what is threatening America, and who and what is preserving it.  And we will do it with your help.  Because we believe that Parcbench is fundamentally a grassroots American experiment. 

Although we live in tumultuous times, we believe that hope is not a new feature of the American landscape, but a fundamental part of our ethos.  Parcbench will reflect that hope, optimism, love of country, and American sense of entrepreneurship.  And best of all, Parcbench will be fun, something that is all too easy to forget these days. 

Brett Joshpe is co-author of the book Why You’re Wrong About the Right: Behind the Myths: The Surprising Truth About Conservatives (Simon & Schuster). He graduated from Harvard Law School and is currently General Counsel of The American Civics Exchange.

COL Charles Sullivan “Sully” had no movie magic to help him navigate when his plane crashed into the New Guinea jungle behind Japanese lines in September of 1943 during WWII.   Sully managed to survive the crash and survive the harsh jungle conditions for 30 days before finding an Allied Australian troop encampment. During his thirty-day jungle adventure, he encountered hostile natives whose initial welcome quickly turned into frustration and suspicion, causing Sully to flee for his life.  Searching for Allied help and scrounging for food and shelter; Sully’s fortitude and grit and pure determination to return to his young bride kept him alive during those harsh, grueling thirty days.  Being rescued should have been the end of Sully’s adventures however, even more calamities occur, from which Col Sullivan emerges with humor, dignity and with the spirit of a true American hero.

–

You will love this thrilling, edge of your seat film which was directed  by Josh Baxter of Arion Pictures.  Josh graduated from University of Memphis in 1996 with a Bachelor of Arts degree.

Sullivan retired as a Colonel in 1968 after twenty-eight years of military service.  Almost fifty years to the day of his crash – in September 1993 – Sully’s P-38 Lightning was discovered in the New Guinea jungle, where it rests to this day.

Col Sullivan and the film’s director Josh Baxter will participate in a question and answer session following the World Premiere screening of Injury Slight…Please Advise at the GI Film Festival 13-17 May, in Washington DC. 

Please consider supporting the effort to keep great movies about America’s military in the marketplace by supporting the GI Film Festival.  The GI Film Festival is non-profit, a 501-c-3 whose mission is to honor the service and sacrifices of the men and women in uniform through the medium of film.  Every donation helps us continue our mission.

Superman Returns screenwriters Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris shortened Superman’s call to arms to just “Truth and Justice” because “The American Way” was supposedly not worth fighting for anymore. They then proceeded to transform The Man of Steel into a simpering, self-absorbed drama queen.

Why has Hollywood worked so diligently to remove well-focused, admirable heroes from American movies? The primary reason was George W. Bush’s presence in the White House and the primary focus of his administration — the war against Islamic militants.

To the hard left in Hollywood, 9/11 and subsequent struggles in Afghanistan and Iraq were caused by the U.S. The bad guys had no say in the matter and were merely reacting to circumstances thrust upon them by Uncle Sam. Naturally enough, fighting terrorists anywhere on the planet merely added to America’s crimes.

That astoundingly naive world view grows out of the primary philosophy of anyone on that hard left: “The strong are always bad, and the weak are always good.” Morality and philosophy play no part in this global vision. If A has more than B, A is evil. B could lie, cheat, steal or fly commercial airliners into skyscrapers, and it’s all justified because simple math unveils inequities.

If you impose this philosophy onto movie stories, you can see how difficult it is to create compelling bad guys for movies. If no one in a weakened social or political position can ever do anything wrong, all you have left is wealthy, Western business men to plot society’s downfall — and that’s who perpetrated most of the foul deeds in movies during the Bush years. That leaves a rich cesspool of villainy untapped. But, once you admit that there’s evil in the world that must be fought in your movies, it becomes that much more hypocritical to rail against the war in Iraq at your next yoga class or macrobiotics party. Hollywood painted itself into a corner from where it couldn’t admit to the existence of evil and maintain its political stance.

Unfortunately, when you remove compelling villains from stories, you take the teeth out of our cinematic heroes. Offer a hero no truly dastardly deeds to fend off and no evil foe to battle, and you give an audience less to invest in and enjoy. We’re left with the one perfect hero for the anti-Bush era, Jason Bourne. Think about it. He’s poor. He’s sick. He battles middle-aged white men in Washington. And, his one great desire in life isn’t to defend the innocent or fight for justice — it’s to be left alone to his own brooding self-absorption. Sure, those movies made money — since audiences were starving for anything resembling a true hero.

Then, a strange thing happened as Bush was headed out the door in 2008. Heroes made a massive comeback as Iron Man, The Dark Knight and Gran Torino featured men sacrificing their own comfort and desires to fight genuinely evil men. They didn’t sit around contemplating the inequities of Western culture or exploring their feelings. They risked their safety to fight threats to the innocent — and only Iron Man featured a remnant of the “evil rich guy” villain (Jeff Bridges).

More importantly, these movies were successful — in the case of Dark Knight, immensely successful. And Dark Knight had the audacity to make all that money while including Michael Caine’s seminal, “Some men just want to watch the world burn…” speech (thus far, the most perfect dramatic explanation of why we’re fighting terrorists across the globe).

Hopefully, the success of these films will shake Hollywood out of its navel-gazing, passive-aggressive political statements and force it to present some interesting heroes and heroines again. Audiences crave them. And, since a Democrat is president and it’s safe for Hollywood to support America’s wars again, there’s reason to hope for such a comeback.