Stand Up Notes From Flyover Country: Janeane Is Off Her Meds and Other Stories

I happened to see some clips of alleged Janeane Garofalo on the Bill Maher show the other night. I have a warning for anyone who sees her in person or is near her: Janeane is off her meds again and the voices in her head have taken control.

She is already on record as believing that anyone who does not worship at the Church of Radical Leftism is a “straight up racist.” Beside not understanding the English translation of her argot “straight up,” I am sure that anyone who is even a little bit clear headed can imagine a world where people who thought Condi was dandy and helped Michael Steele get to the helm of the GOP might not take race as the deciding factor with Obama. Be that as it may, Ms. Garofalo assured us that not only were right-wingers racists, but the GOP has been the bastion of White Supremacy since the 1950’s.

Keeping in mind one of the favorite saying of my friend Larry Elder, “Facts are like kryptonite to toe-tag liberals.” (Mr. Elder defines liberals as “toe-tag” if they believe in government intrusion in our lives from birth until they put the tag on your toe in the morgue.) I will present a few facts to try to bring Janeane back into the real world. (more…)

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Tags: Bill Clinton, Bill Maher, cbs, Condi Rice, David Letterman
Posted Oct 7th 2009 at 9:55 am in Featured Story, News, Political Humor | 240386118 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jjena/2009/10/07/stand-up-notes-from-flyover-country-janeane-is-off-her-meds-and-other-stories/Stand+Up+Notes+From+Flyover+Country%3A+Janeane+Is+Off+Her+Meds+and+Other+Stories2009-10-07+16%3A55%3A52Jeffrey+Jena

Waiting for GOP

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Tags: compassionate conservatism, John Boehner, Michael Steele, NRSC, ObamaCare
Posted Aug 16th 2009 at 11:42 am in Art, Political Humor | 20566273 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/cmuir/2009/08/16/waiting-for-gop/Waiting+for+GOP2009-08-16+18%3A42%3A17Chris+Muir

When is ‘Whiteface’ Okay? When the ‘New York Times’ Says So

Guess Who?

Daniel Kurtzman’s written for the San Francisco Chronicle and ridiculed Sarah Palin over at The Huffington Post. His political humor blog can be found at About.com. 

Under the heading,”Michael Steele: Republican Clown,” Kurtzman posted this at About.com which, by the way, is owned by the New York Times: (more…)

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Tags: Daniel Kurtzman, Joker, Michael Steele, Obama-Joker, Whiteface
Posted Aug 4th 2009 at 1:41 pm in Art, Culture, Politics | 19987480 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bighollywood/2009/08/04/when-is-whiteface-okay-when-the-new-york-times-says-so/When+is+%27Whiteface%27+Okay%3F+When+the+%27New+York+Times%27+Says+So2009-08-04+20%3A41%3A42Big+Hollywood

My Secret Life as a Conservative Republican

I’m tired of hiding it. Everybody knows anyway. So it’s time to come clean, just like the Klan hoods I’ve got spinning in the dryer as we speak. It’s time for the Neanderthal knuckle-dragging, open mouth-breathing, racist, sexist, Klan and Timothy McVeigh-loving Montana militia member gun nut conservative Republican religious zealot in me to be set free. Repression is a bitch, and so am I.

I go to bed full of hate and wake up the same.  I hate blacks, Hispanics, gays, women, abortion doctors, liberals, Lefties, Democrats, you name ‘em, I hate ‘em if they’re not like me. I especially hate President Obama for being black. Just ask Janeane Garofalo, although being a Stalinist Socialist doesn’t help Obama’s cause any with me. Fact is, Obama could be a GOP Michael Steele Uncle Tom, and I’d still hate him even more than liberals hate Steele. Skin color trumps all. Thank God I was born the right color, or I’d probably kill myself. Wait, the hoods are dry! Be right back. (more…)

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Tags: "teabagging", 9/11, abortion, Adolf Hitler, AIPAC
Posted Jul 15th 2009 at 2:36 pm in Politics | 182706188 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/07/15/my-secret-life-as-a-conservative-republican/My+Secret+Life+as+a+Conservative+Republican2009-07-15+21%3A36%3A48John+T.+Simpson

It’s a Trap!!!!!

It’s a Trap!!!

Admiral Ackbar is one of my favorite characters in the Star Wars franchise.  He still looks more real than any CGI character today despite being brought to life by 1982 technology.  He also has the immortal line, “It’s a Trap,” when the rebels discover that the Death Star is “fully armed and operational.”

In case you missed it, here’s Ackbar reacting to other “traps.”

Conservatives have walked into a trap of late, or as Michael Steele might say, “have stepped in it.” Why should the liberals, with their rogues gallery of freak shows and incompetents, even sweat it when the Conservatives are too busy fighting with each other?  How much time on blogs, cable news, and Sunday talk-shows is dedicated to Conservatives arguing about the direction of the “party” or challenging each other on the authenticity of their Conservative credentials? (more…)

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Tags: Add new tag, admiral ackbar, Conservatives fighting each other, Dick Cheney, Gutfeld
Posted May 29th 2009 at 6:47 am in Media Criticism, Politics, Video | 142650No Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/lscott/2009/05/29/its-a-trap/It%27s+a+Trap%21%21%21%21%212009-05-29+13%3A47%3A41Leigh+Scott

A Republican Platform For The 21st Century

I have been a proud conservative Republican my entire life. My father and Jimmy Carter saw to that. My first vote ever was for Ronald Reagan in 1980, and I have never voted for a Democrat. Ever. Even today, the reasons for my being so have not changed, despite the media’s and liberal Democrats’ tireless efforts to discredit my belief system. Though the times may change, core principles never do. I have also served this nation proudly in uniform for six years, and don’t regret a minute of it.

In the early 1980s, my military service brought me to some of the darker corners of the world. I spent time in South Korea and Marcos’ Philippines when both countries were under martial law. Knowing I could be shot just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time really woke me up to what exactly it is we have here in America. Seeing a thousand Vietnamese Boat People pulled out of the South China Sea in one day only reinforced my belief in America, Sweet Land of Liberty.

Today, the Party of Lincoln and Reagan appears to be in political disarray, which is why I am writing this OpEd now. Yet many promising developments, along with some huge mistakes by Congress and the Obama Administration, have opened many new doors for us. If only we will enter. (more…)

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Tags: abortion, Africa, Al Franken, amnesty, apology tour
Posted May 2nd 2009 at 3:13 pm in Featured Story, Politics | 12196215 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/05/02/a-republican-platform-for-the-21st-century/A+Republican+Platform+For+The+21st+Century2009-05-02+22%3A13%3A08John+T.+Simpson

Steele Gets Funky For The RNC

Freshly minted Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele gave an interview to the Washington Times in which he detailed his plans for making the GOP relevant again.  Says Steele:

We need messengers to really capture that region – young, Hispanic, black, a cross section … We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-suburban hip-hop settings.

Hip-hop.  Really?  That’s Chairman Steele’s reductive take on people of color?  That unless “principles” are framed in rhyme and break beats we will have no interest in them? (more…)

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Tags: Deval Patrick, Harold Ford Jr., Hip-hop, Michael Steele, Obama
Posted Feb 21st 2009 at 7:07 am in Politics | 55994170 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jridley/2009/02/21/steele-gets-funky-for-the-rnc/Steele+Gets+Funky+For+The+RNC2009-02-21+15%3A07%3A40John+Ridley