Madonna – love her or hate her. Some think she has no talent, while others have named their daughters after her.

Some think her career is pure marketing and her fans believe she’s a real trend setter. There has always been a wide range of opinions about this woman, an entertainer who has enough monikers to be in the witness protection program. As her personal life has evolved through marriages, children and boyfriends, her songs are what are more familiar to people.

For the first time since she became famous, she got to be the star attraction at the Super Bowl Halftime Show. What aspect of her performance did people focus on? Her voice? Nope. What she wore? Not really. Her new song? Sure, a little. Her age? Bingo, report her to AARP, stat!

How dare she try to pull off that type of show as a woman who has experienced more than three decades on the planet? Perish the thought! She has some nerve being on that stage and lifting her leg up at the age of 53. Where are her Mom jeans with the elastic waist? How could she be in high-heeled, thigh high boots when she knows she should be in Easy Spirits? This is even more of an abomination than her performance in “Swept Away.”

Doesn’t she know that woman over 35, let alone 40 in this country, are considered older than Methuselah? You mean she has no clue that she should be referring to herself as “long in the tooth” “an old bag” and a “has-been.” Doesn’t she realize that she has to grow into her date of birth by talking about things she can’t do anymore? Where is her rheumatoid arthritis? COPD? High cholesterol? She should be punished for doing a jumping jack.

Just check the reaction to her performance on social media outlets if you think I am exaggerating.

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For all the pomp and excess of Madonna’s Super Bowl halftime show, it is likely to be a single extended middle finger by guest singer M.I.A. that is most remembered.

The gesture, accompanied by a barely disguised expletive, came during a performance of Madonna’s new single, “Give Me All Your Luvin.’” At the end of her lines, M.I.A. appeared to sing “I don’t give a (expletive),” although it was hard to hear clearly.

The incident was reminiscent of Janet Jackson’s infamous “wardrobe malfunction” eight years ago — a surprise risque moment in front of tens of millions of unsuspecting viewers. The brief exposure of Jackson’s nipple during the 2004 halftime show raised a storm of controversy and put CBS in hot water with the Federal Communications Commission.

The Super Bowl, shown on NBC this year, is routinely viewed by more than 100 million people, the biggest TV event of the year.

The screen briefly went blurred after M.I.A.’s gesture in what seemed like a late attempt to cut out the camera shot. The NFL, which produces the show, had no immediate comment. (more…)

No wardrobe malfunction interrupted this Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Madonna, the 50-something shock singer, kept it mostly clean during her Super Bowl performance Sunday. She flashed a tiny amount of thigh and flirted harmlessly with some of her male dance squad, but that was about it. She left the skin-baring chores to the hulking gladiator types around the stage.

The only tension came from guest singer M.I.A. who appeared to flash the middle finger at the end of one of Madonna’s highly choreographed numbers.

The Material Girl meshed flawlessly with the typically over-produced halftime show segment, belting out a barrage of her greatest hits as well as her new single, “Give Me All Your Lovin.’” She kicked off the set singing “Vogue” while dressed as a quasi-Egyptian songstress. At times she appeared as stiff as one of those Egyptian paintings.

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Perhaps the only place you’re guaranteed to see a squeaky clean concert these days is during the Super Bowl halftime show.

The fallout from Janet Jackson’s infamous “wardrobe malfunction” back in 2004 ensured subsequent acts were chosen for their family-friendly appeal. That meant older, less threatening rockers like U2, Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty got the call, while Lady Gaga was left to watch the game at home on her big screen TV.

That, inexplicably enough, leads us to Madonna. The Material Girl will be performing at the Super Bowl halftime show Feb. 5 along with Cirque du Soleil.

Madonna has come a long way, baby.

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When it comes to Lourdes, Rocco, David, and Mercy, their mother Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone has quite a different view on what they should be exposed to, which is ironic considering what the decadent diva of debauchery eagerly imposed on a generation of naïve children.

Pop icon Madonna made a name for herself by exploiting her sexuality, celebrating the loss of cherished virginity, hitchhiking in the nude, and singing songs with explicit, blasphemous lyrics. She did so caring little about how impressionable children would be tainted by her morally corrupt influence.

Then, when Madonna became a mother herself, she banned television and magazines in her home. To shield her kids from the pornographic obscenity she promoted in the book Sex, and in an effort to preserve their purity, Madonna penned wholesome children’s books like Mr. Peabody’s Apples and The Adventures of Abdi.

Over the years, Madonna has transformed herself over and over again, first into a sadomasochistic sex slave, channeled Evita Perón to the point of naming her daughter Lourdes, married Guy Ritchie, adopted a British accent, and moved to the English countryside. She’s taken the Hebrew Kabala name Esther and joined the Angelina Jolie/Sandra Bullock/Mariska Hargitay adopt-a-black-baby club. Now, she’s settled into middle-aged doting mother mode.

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College drop-out know-it-all, do-it-all Gwyneth Paltrow is the epitome of a spoiled Hollywood brat who was raised in privilege, never told no, and made to believe her every thought was brilliant. The Paltrows must have been the type of liberal parents who handed out trophies to the losing soccer team, because daughter Gwyneth is a hopeless victim of undeserved “Good job-ism” gone wild.

An average kid with moderate talent, since her late teens, between acting, mothering, cooking, and singing, Gwyneth Paltrow has subjected America to incessant rounds of painful “No wait…let me start again,” off-tempo renditions of Für Elise followed by impromptu tap-dancing exhibitions by a grown woman who might as well be dressed in a tight pink tutu.

Gwynie (I like to call her Gwynie) is an attractive woman with a superior gift of imitating British accents.  Ms. Paltrow started her career in Hollywood when her mother, actress Blythe Danner, and her father, the late director Bruce Paltrow, together with family friend Steven Spielberg brokered a deal and got her a starring gig in the movies at 19 years of age.

An unabashed recipient of Hollywood nepotism, after winning an Academy Award for Shakespeare in Love Gwyneth was crowned the “Muse” of Miramax studios by film producer Harvey Weinstein.  Since that day, Gwyneth has been nothing short of unbearable.

Raised in Massachusetts, Gwynie moved back to Los Angeles where her career and love life with Brad Pitt took off. Paltrow traveled the world, and now speaks British-style English, French, Spanish, and a little Italian. Gwen even married a temperamental British rock star – Chris Martin of Coldplay – who she’d never have met without the benefit of a VIP backstage pass.

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There are apparently people out there who not only find Lady GaGa’s music appealing but, further, find her a powerful and insightful musical voice for a new generation.  These people are idiots, and the fact that most of these morons can vote goes a long way to explaining why so many Democrats keep getting reelected.

It’s not just that her music is bad – though it is, an intermittently catchy collection of overproduced beats laid over nonsense lyrics that would embarrass a slow-witted high school sophomore.  It’s not just that her singing is reminiscent of the hum of a dental drill, a monotonous, atonal mind-chisel that – when combined with her inane lyrics – reminds one of the chanting of some unholy love child of Rain Man and Tiny Tim.  

And it’s not just that she’s pretentious, presenting herself as the sorta-androgynous spoke-being for a coterie of alleged nonconformists whose nonconformity is expressed via rigid conformity to GaGa’s vision of pseudo-transgressive fashions and brain-dead self-affirming slogans.

No, the biggest problem with Lady GaGa isn’t that she’s another lame pop star.  It’s that she’s so damn boring.

As an act of personal sacrifice, I listened to the sneak release of her latest song, an atrocity called “Judas.”  If you want to share my pain, be my guest, but don’t say you weren’t warned.  The Huffington Post, your number one source for all things that suck, is right on top of the earthshaking cultural event that is “Judas”:

The song and video are told from Mary Magdelene’s perspective, with lyrics such as, “When he comes to me, I am ready/ I’ll wash his feet with my hair if he needs/ Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain/ Even after three times, he betrays me/ I’ll bring him down, a king with no crown…”

Wow.  Heavy.  I guess I’m supposed to be one of those bourgeois squares whose mind is going to be blown by GagGa’s willingness to take on those terrifying Christians.  I’m here to report, however, that the only thing that blows is the song.

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Reality demonstrates that people act on their basest needs. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs says that basic needs are things like food, shelter, safety, and security.  If one progresses up the scale, needs like love, belonging, esteem, and respect become important.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Hollywood is a competitive place to live and work.  People who live and work there know that it might be the most competitive place to live in the entire world.  The drive to succeed, to find an edge that propels you to the next level can be very compelling for those who are weak.  Of those who crave the sort of attention that might compel them into the snake pit that is Hollywood, psychologists could agree that components in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs are lacking in key areas such as confidence, friendship, and even morality.  All of these mid-level needs should be met for healthy development of creativity, intellect, problem solving, and other high-level needs.  Maslow might reason that in the desperate setting of Hollywood, the underdevelopment of needs like morality, confidence, respect of self and from others might lead to the malformative finding of one’s self at the top of the triangle, with many of the more basic needs still lacking.  In Abraham Maslow’s terms, this is a recipe for disaster of philosophical incorporation. (more…)

Being a woman is great in this post proto-feminist world, and if you aren’t already a modern woman, I’d like to take you out of the kitchen and bring you up to speed. I was raised to believe in antiquated ideas — such as a woman needs to act like a lady and that a child needs both a mother and a father! Preposterous. Last week I squeezed out eight fatherless kids while at the sports bar during half-time – I do have a few pre-existing kids from different baby daddies, but I was keeping up with all the octomoms in the neighborhood.

Multiple births are the new Mercedes.

The only married couple I know, Bob and Bruce, come over every so often to teach my boys how to be men, and then take them shopping for child-appropriate skincare and those awesome bio-degradable Chanel onesies I’ve seen on many fatherless celebrity babies.

When Bob and Bruce are busy, the guys I pick up at the bar the night before hang out with them for guy-time. This is handy because I learn these men’s names as they introduce themselves to my brood. Once they are acquainted I can get to work on my new fragrance line without worrying about the rugrats.

Had a real job back in 2008, but that stable, pre-proto-feminist lifestyle is so not important these days. Who needs jobs and money when you can be featured in a reality show and/or dance with the stars while pretending to not exploit your friends, family and children? (more…)

“Feminism is a Crock – and Other True Stories.” That’s the title for a book I’d like to write someday. The reason I say feminism is a crock is because it has morphed from “equal rights for all” to “women are better than men, and if you disagree you’re a sexist pig who should be castrated.” It’s also morphed into a sexual free-for-all: what used to be sauce for the gander (and those ganders were usually considered cads) is now sauce for the goose. This image is being perpetuated by pop culture and entertainment, and women are more and more frequently being portrayed as strong through their sexuality, not through their actual accomplishments. Is this the standard to which we want our daughters to aspire?

Early feminists fought against the centuries-old image of a “woman on a pedestal.” Gloria Steinem (she of the “a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle” who in later years ended up getting married anyway) once said, “A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.” I suppose a bra is also a small, confined space, which might explain the bra burnings of the 1960s. But the early feminists had a point – to a point. If a woman wants to be put on a pedestal and admired and adored, fine. But if she doesn’t, she should have the right to do with her life as she chooses. She should be free to pursue any vocation for which she is qualified, either as a single or married woman, children or no children.

But one of the problems with the new feminism was the annoying little fact that children could get in the way of this brave new world. Having to either stay at home with the little tykes or find daycare for them – not to mention all of the discomfort and disfiguration that comes with pregnancy itself – sure put a damper on Gloria Steinem’s idea of a “liberated woman” being “one who has sex before marriage and a job after.” Unbridled sex does, after all, have consequences. And so, according to historian Elaine Tyler May, birth control was “an important tool to gain control over their lives.” (more…)

Have you seen the new music videos by Miley Cyrus and Christina Aguilera? If you haven’t, let me save you nine minutes of precious time. Both videos feature the young, attractive, talented singers clad in lingerie dancing, gyrating and engaging in simulated sex acts with both men and women.

In a word, boring.

Rather than hit these two from the completely legitimate position of criticizing their moral bankruptcy (especially in the case of the the underage Cyrus), let’s have some fun and hit them from the other side. That’s right, let’s talk about “art” and “feminism”.

Sure ladies, your new videos are “edgy,” “stylish,” “provocative,” “liberating” and “artistic”….for 1985. Fact is, we’ve seen this all before. The crazy wardrobe, stylized lighting, racy sexuality, blah, blah, blah. Madonna was doing this stuff 25 years ago. I have to laugh when people point out the obvious comparisons between the new Xtina video and Lady Gaga’s recent video achievements. Both of them are simply poor imitations for the “Grandmother of Smut” herself. Taking Xtina to task for ripping off Lady Gaga is like criticizing a Tarantino parrot without acknowledging the wealth of films that QT has paid “homage” to himself. (more…)

[Ed. Note: Please welcome Bruce Carroll from the indispensable Gay Patriot blog, an early supporter of yours truly (thanks, Dan!) and my favorite gang of apostates.]

There’s a simmering civil war in my house on Tuesday nights.  First off, I’m so disgusted with the lack of talent on American Idol that I can’t stand watching it anymore.  But, my partner John still enjoys it so FOX is on Tuesdays.  But the battle lines have now been drawn at 9:00PM. All over a little show you may have heard about: Glee.

Yes, we enjoy musicals and stage productions; but let’s not be too stereotypical, shall we?  In fact, I was a late bloomer to Glee.  John loved it from the beginning and got me to tune in by convincing me it was the next best thing to sliced bread.  For a while, I agreed with him and thoroughly enjoyed watching the show.  I especially enjoyed the music.  Producer Ryan Murphy is a fellow Gen-Xer and you definitely know it from the 80s-inspired songs he has used to form the basis of much of Glee’s musical foundation.

So, like much of America (and probably all of gay America), I was hooked last year on the music, the kids and the story of William McKinley High School [fictional] in Lima, Ohio [not fictional].  (more…)

I guess as a youngster she was busy designing wacky, risque outfits when she should have been learning the definitions of words, but Madonna — the famed “Material Girl” — uttered a whopper recently misusing the word “irony” when she should have been using the word “hypocrite”… as in what she is.

Of course the first thought that anyone has of pop singer Madonna is sex, sex, sex. She has made her entire career on selling her sexuality. From the days of 1983’s hit “Holiday,” to photo spreads in Playboy and Penthouse, to crawling on stage like a cat in heat, to girl-on-girl kisses, and raunchy videos throughout, Madonna has made her bucks with her body with as much skin showing as possible at all times even today in her 50s.

But, suddenly mother Madonna is hopeful that her own 13-year-old daughter, Lourdes, will “dress more conservatively.” Sex is bad all of a sudden when Madonna is talking about her own child. (more…)

I was doing a little channel surfing a few weeks ago and happened across some sort of music awards show. I believe it was The American Music Awards but judging from the level of the performances it could have been some sort of reality show. What caused me to stop for a moment was seeing who I thought was Madonna doing a little dance number in combat boots.

Madonna is famous for, among other things, reinventing herself. “Reinventing” is show business talk for falling to a new level of depravity. You never see the Hollywood press praising someone for finding faith or cleaning up their act but if they demean Christian values or morality, they get raves. So I was interested to see if this was some sort of political or religious statement or just the latest fashion craze.

So I watched the performance for a few moments. The woman who was the focus to the number then moved to a piano inside a glass case which later ignited in flames. I started to suspect that this wasn’t Madonna because to the best of my knowledge she doesn’t play the piano and is old enough to remember that the late Michael Jackson set himself on fire awhile back. At the end of the song the woman leaned back with outstretched arms as if to say I have exhausted myself as an artist by dancing and lip syncing for three minutes.

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The climate change conference is long gone, but with Christmas just around the corner, I figured there had to be a connection. Also, I’m writing this after a holiday party, so I’m drunk.

As President Obama says, let’s be clear: that comical Copenhagen conference wasn’t about science, it was about wealth transfer. The gist: because of America’s “hyper-industrialization,” we need to pay off poor countries for all the harm we’ve caused in the world. That’s the real green in the green movement: It’s cash, not grass.

What’s this have to do with Christmas? Well, I think the world has forgotten that the biggest gift to this planet is America’s industry – and it’s time to remind them where they would be without it.

1. Whenever a horrible disaster hits, they would be dead. Be it an earthquake, a tsunami or a Madonna tour – we’re usually the first and biggest responders – saving the injured, and helping to rebuild. It is because of our tremendous capability to mobilize quickly that makes us a nation of superheroes. It also takes planes, trucks and tractors to do that stuff. Imagine that carbon footprint. (more…)

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The recent fracas at the American Music Awards is yet another reason why I am glad I don’t go in for the mutual admiration society gatherings known as awards shows.

American Idol runner up Adam Lambert, one of the performers during the live East Coast broadcast, shocked viewers with his “pelvic-thrust[ing] … four-minute, S&M-themed routine, taking time out from singing to grope a female dancer, kiss a male musician and, most shockingly, shove a male dancer’s face into his crotch, in an act that simulated fellatio.”

Nothing like watching a little simulated fellatio to round out an evening with the family. Pass the popcorn!

Sources from the AMA claimed that those dance moves had not been part of the rehearsal, and the West Coast version of the show was edited to delete the scene. Now there’s the real scandal: trying to protect children who might be watching. If it’s good enough for the likes of the celebs in the AMA audience, it should be good enough for your 10 year old. (more…)

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What a week for Celebucrat video!

Whoopi –rape-rape– Goldberg…

Bette –take Glenn Beck’s free speech away– Midler…

John –race-obsessed, socialist, grievance monger– Leguizamo…

Mad –here’s another reason to love W. – onna…

David –I think this makes me a hypocrite– Letterman

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The left’s dominance over the media, entertainment and the classroom forms a triangular grip that seeks to denigrate and nullify intrinsic American values. Hollywood, in particular, shows an inability to embrace even a rudimentary understanding of opposing viewpoints, as celebrities who claim to be liberal and “open” continuously berate those who champion differing viewpoints.

Fortunately, the liberal seasoning that flavors Hollywood’s narcissistic lunacy has yet to permeate mainstream American society. While the ideologues that control Hollywood (not to mention the media and university classrooms) make it seem as though ultra-leftism trumped conservatism in a battle lost long ago, a surprising new poll shows that the plurality of Americans still see themselves as politically conservative. (more…)