Copied below is the ACTUAL letter that I sent to and was signed for by Lorne Micheals (and assistant) today over at NBC. I know that the writing is a little less snippy than usual, but please take into account that this man could squash my nuts into oblivion. There’s plenty of room for suggestions, so I encourage you to chime in.  And bear in mind, Lorne may be stopping by here.

Dear Mr. Michaels

I write this letter not as a disgruntled fan, but as a true admirer of what SNL stands for (and as a fellow Canadian/American). We both know how popular it is to mutter things like “I liked SNL, back when it was good” or “SNL used to be cool, but now their writing sucks etc.” Trust me; I’m as annoyed by those folks as you are. I truly believe that you have one of the most talented casts ever assembled over there at NBC. (more…)

*Warning: Extremely Offensive Material*

Since putting a “fatwa” on my head seems to be in vogue, I’m banking on getting my face on the cover of “GQ”. Get lost, Jude Law.

Sure, following the massive influx of violent threats, I could have opted to remove the most recent video. Everyone else (YouTube officials, in particular) seem to be kowtowing to these crazy Islamic cyber-fear-mongers.  I’d rather be keel-hauled. (more…)