This remarkable drama demonstrates the lasting power of a lawsuit that has outlasted the life and death of Anna Nicole Smith and her former husband, billionaire oil man J. Howard Marshall II. As the litigation against the estate of her former husband goes on without them both, the absurdity of the case grows clearer.

After more than a decade of legal machinations and courtroom schemes chasing the estate of deceased multi-millionaire J. Howard Marshall, Smith’s lawyers have little to show for their efforts. For the lawyers pushing this case, it truly has been a roller coaster ride. Here’s a quick refresher: The case started in a probate court in Texas within weeks of J. Howard Marshall II’s death in 1995. Anna Nicole Smith initially joined with Marshall’s eldest son J. Howard Marshall III claiming that even though they’d been left out of Marshall’s written will and estate plan, they each had been promised orally a portion of his estate. After a trial lasting nearly six months, the jury ultimately ruled against Anna Nicole Smith and Marshall’s first son.

But Smith’s legal team proved itself tenacious and willing to subvert the system. Just before the Texas verdict was issued, they leapfrogged to a federal bankruptcy court in California. There they were able to get their biggest win – nearly half a billion dollars – by convincing the bankruptcy judge to ignore the course of events and legal arguments covering probate matters in Texas. It’s been mostly downhill since then: the first appeal to the federal district court in California reduced the award by nearly three quarters.

Next the case went to the 9th Circuit. Here Anna Nicole would lose on every count. The court ruled as a matter of law that the entire dispute could be heard only by Texas. On appeal to the Supreme Court, the legal team would gain a narrow victory that kept the case on life support. In the 2006 opinion, the Supreme Court ruled that the 9th Circuit had been overly broad in assuming that this dispute could only be heard in Texas and they sent it back for further review in California, where it remains. Even after all this, most lawyers agree that the prospects for an actual win are meager at best.

But now the 9th Circuit has re-engaged and has agreed to hear oral arguments on the case in Courtroom One on the Eighth Floor of Seattle’s William Kenso Nakamura United States Courthouse. There are five questions that the hearing will be focused on:

(1) Whether Anna Nicole Smith initial claim on the estate of J. Howard Marshall II was a “core” bankruptcy proceeding.

(2) If Smith’s claim was not a “core” bankruptcy proceeding, whether the Texas probate court’s judgment which came first precludes the Federal Courts judgments in whole or in part.

(3) Whether the statute of frauds, which requires estate and wills to be put in writing, affects Smith’s ability to establish her claim.

(4) Whether the discovery sanctions ordered by the district court and the bankruptcy court were reasonable.

(5) If Dannielynn, Smith’s surviving child is a real party in interest and has no guardian ad litem, whether the court should appoint a guardian ad litem and, if so, who the guardian ad litem should be and what provisions should be made for the guardian ad litem’s compensation.

These are mostly the questions that the Supreme Court never addressed when it ruled on the case initially. But each question presents fairly devastating risks to Smith’s legal team. But a win by Smith’s legal team could prove devastating to property rights and estate planning.

In the movies even sequels are given a rest when the franchise no longer has resonance with the audience. Unfortunately this isn’t the case with lawsuits. They often continue regardless of their merit or intrinsic value.
In any event, whatever ultimately comes of this lawsuit, it should remind us all that the legal shenanigans over this half-billion-dollar estate aren’t simply a private matter for the parties involved. We are all impacted. Win or lose, the reckless and selfish actions of a few bad eggs cost the rest of us. Frivolous lawsuits clog our courts and prevent legal disputes with merit from being heard in a timely manner. In fact, according to a recent study by the Chamber of Commerce litigation costs add up to nearly $809 per year for every person in America today.

More frighteningly, this case sets an attractive precedent for future abuse and destabilizes the estate plans of ordinary Americans who want to pass wealth to their children. Tragically, the Anna Nicole Smith legal saga is yet another example of how the American judicial system encourages creativity and legal mayhem at the expense of justice

Horace Cooper is a writer and legal commentator (www.horacecooper.com)

President Obama’s righteousness about fatherhood comes from the recognition that his own dad was, indeed, a douchebag. He knocked up Obama’s mom and quickly fled the country, only meeting his son once, and bringing him a basketball. There are fathers like that out there, but they’re few and far between. And they deserve our scorn. And I understand the President’s desire to talk about his own experience as a fatherless child. I get it. It must have been terrible and I’d probably talk about it too if my dad Bruce Wilson hadn’t been the incredible dad he is to this day (see my movie “Michael Moore Hates America” for an interview with Pops).

But on Father’s Day, I’d like to remind the President that his dad is an aberration. The vast majority of dads out there would kill and die for their kids. I certainly would. And the vast majority of divorced dads out there, like me, would never abandon their children. Instead, a government system has preyed upon loving, caring dads and made them nothing more than ATMs with limited, government-determined access to the people they love the most in the world–their children.

Fathers are systematically discriminated against in an unnecessary and perhaps unconstitutional family court system. The judge in a family court frequently decides who should have primary custody of a child with limited testimony, evidence and understanding of a given family. These judges are essentially determining which parent might be a better parent within a matter of moments, and in the process, changing the very foundation of relationships the “losing” parent has with the child. In the vast majority of cases, the mother wins custody and the father is required to pay for the honor of not being able to see his children. That fact should frighten you. Deeply.

Another fact that should scare you is that a steep majority of the Child “Welfare” workers, who make determinations about whether or not you’re a good parent, are women. There’s nothing wrong with that, I suppose. I mean, after all, the good and caring government, while it sticks its nose into the intimate workings of your family dynamic must be entirely un-flawed, unbiased and fair. They’d NEVER side with someone of their own gender for completely biased reasons. And since everyone who works for the government is a deeply compassionate and caring person who would never work at that job for the incredible pay and Cadillac benefits, we can rest assured.

But the fact remains, these glorified DMV workers are mostly women and they decide the future of your family. Shouldn’t there be some gender balance?

The other fact that should frighten you even more is that the Child Support System is rigged. There is actually a financial incentive for government to intrude on your personal business. When I got divorced, I was making some decent dough, and though my custody arrangement regarding my daughter was a shared arrangement, I agreed to pay my ex-wife a little child support to help her out. To this day we have the same bills and expenses, so there wasn’t a big reason to do that, other than that I wanted everything to be as amicable as possible.

I simply wrote my ex-wife a check every month and that was that. Until something or other came up and she got angry with me. She called the county to have them collect the payments to teach me a lesson (no, I was certainly NOT behind on my payments, but here in Minnesota, every recipient can CHOOSE to have the government collect the payments). And thus, the System got involved. YOUR tax dollars are now paying someone to collect and process a check I was writing for free.

Being someone with a disdain for government intrusion into my life, especially in the most sensitive, important part of my life, I had no choice but to find out how this could happen. It turns out that the more enforcement cases there are at the county level, the more money the states give the counties. The more cases the states are accounting for, the more money they get from the federal government. So the bigger and more “involved” in your life government can become, the more security there is for the long-term established government employees. And judges. And case workers. And social workers. And it’s enough to make a person insane, when you think about it. A malicious government machine can feed itself and make itself bigger, nastier, and more entrenched in your personal life. And there is NOTHING you can do to stop it. Try, and they’ll throw you in jail or prison WITHOUT CHARGE, where you’ll be BEATEN TO DEATH, like happened to Brian Armstrong, a father in New Hampshire who lost his job and couldn’t pay up.

The Family Court system should be abolished. There is no reason for its existence other than to feed itself and to destroy families–especially fathers. Every aspect the system handles could be handled by district, state and federal courts. You want a divorce settlement and custody arrangement? Come up with a mutually agreed upon contract or sue in district or state court. What if there’s abuse? Call 911 and the offending party is arrested and tried under criminal statutes. There’s a custody dispute? File a suit over your contract at the time of the divorce.

If the President wants men to be good fathers, then he ought to think about doing what he can to get government out of the way. Eliminate Family Courts and sexist judges. Put people on the bench who understand that most fathers would choose to be with their children every day, every moment if they could.

Maybe the President should let us act like the men we are and get government the hell out of the way. And if he refuses to let us be good fathers without Big Daddy Government poking its stupid, overbearing nose into our lives, the least he could do is quit making speeches about how we need to do a better job.

Happy Father’s Day, dads.

(Curtain. Possible is alone on stage when Mr. Patronus enters.)

Possible: Who are you?

Patronus: My name is Mr. Pratronus. I’m sorry to suddenly intrude like this, but I’ve been assigned as your STO.

Possible: Stow?

Patronus: STO. Your Survival Training Officer. Your birth time is approaching and I’ve been sent in to train you in a few techniques that might increase your chances of surviving the next few days.

Possible: Survive what? My birth? My understanding is that medical technology has advanced far enough that childbirth has become — well, if not quite routine, at least considerably less dangerous. Why would I need eleventh hour special training just to undergo an event where a wealth of state-of-the-art material and a number of trained medical professionals are dedicated to seeing it through without incident?

Patronus: Unfortunately I’m not here to address a failing of medical technology or training. Medicine is as advanced now as it ever was in all of human history. That much is true. Instead I’m here to address a certain condition of philosophy and law. We’re a bit worried because some of your parents’ recent behaviors have raised a number of red flags. For example, this late into the gestation process they haven’t begun to discuss potential names for you. That’s one of the bigger danger signs that will get our attention every time.

Possible: But I already have a name. I’m Possible.

Patronus: I’m sorry but that’s not your name. Not really. It’s more of a title. A description of status. It’s the name every pre-born child, until his parents choose an actual name.

Possible: So I’m in danger, but of what? You said it had something to do with philosophy? I have to confess, I’m a bit confused.

Patronus: According to the culture in which you’re about to be born, assuming our efforts to insure your birth are successful, you aren’t yet a human being. You aren’t a person.

Possible: Are you kidding me? If I’m not a person, what am I?

Patronus: By definition of law, aided by a truly insidious twisting of language, you’re currently nothing more than a bit of extraneous and non-viable biological material.

Possible: Nonsense. I already have every evidence of personhood. I have thoughts and feelings. I have hopes and dreams. I’ve experienced joys and sorrows.

Patronus: None of which matters, according to the law.

Possible: I don’t believe that. Who could possibly believe that I’m not yet a real person?

Patronus: Well, that’s one of the truly frustrating aspects of this struggle, because no one does believe that — not your mother, or father, or the legal and medical people who’re determined to define away your humanity. Even the powerful social-political organizations created to bring about your destruction, without legal or social consequences, don’t actually believe you’re nothing more than a lump of waste tissue. But that’s what they need to claim. That’s the fiction they need to perpetuate in order to justify their overall agenda in general, and the all-too specific actions they may be contemplating where you’re concerned. Oddly enough, the more tenuous the agreed-upon fiction, the more desperate and vicious its proponents become in not allowing any reasonable examination of it.

Possible: That may describe those with an agenda to perpetuate. Some people just turn out bad and broken. But I can’t believe people as a whole could be so cynical. How could a wise and educated society possibly vote for such an obvious sham?

Patronus: I’ll let you know, should people as a whole ever get the chance to vote on it. This is a condition almost entirely imposed by the courts. On those rare occasions when people do insist on voting on some aspect of it, the results are routinely overturned by judicial fiat.

Possible: And the people just accept that?

Patronus: Not all of them do. Some are working hard to restore a better world, starting with a more rational and obvious definition of life and when it begins.

Possible: Some, but not all?

Patronus: I’m not sure what to tell you. Perhaps many stubbornly confuse language with reality. Define someone as a non-human and that person has indeed become a non-human, in fact, as well as convenience of labeling. I know that seems insane, but that’s the world you may be about to join.

Possible: And maybe the one I’m not about to join. You’ve mentioned danger and destruction. You’re scaring me, Mr. Patronus. I think it’s about time you told me exactly what you’re here to do. What do you hope to train me to survive?

Patronus: During your birth the medical people in attendance might be there to make sure you survive it, or they may be sure to make sure you don’t.

Possible: Oh please. Get serious.

Patronus: I assure you, Possible, I am deadly serious.

Possible: You expect me to believe that a doctor and an executioner happen to be the same profession?

Patronus: Under a very special set of circumstances and with the consent, or at the insistence, of your mother — yes.

Possible: And I have no say in the matter? Despite the Hippocratic oath, or all of the myriad protections of life written into the law?

Patronus: All of which only protect human life, which is why the tortured redefinition is so vital.

Possible: And there’s nothing I can do? My fate’s entirely in their hands?

Patronus: Almost, but not entirely. I’ve been sent in to teach you a few physical techniques to help you survive the ordeal. For example, there’s some twisting and turning maneuvers you can use if they send in some clamps and other devices in an attempt to dismember you while you’re still inside the birth canal. Most of all I want to teach you how not to resist the birth. Even if your mother has decided to kill you, the physical birth process is a mechanism of the ages, designed to deliver you whole and alive, with her instinctive physical cooperation, if not her desire. That’s one of the few things working in our favor.

Possible: Why? It seems it would just be easier for them to destroy me after I’m outside of my mother’s body.

Patronus: True, but that’s where this madhouse gets truly bizarre. As long as any part of you is still inside your mother, they are legally free — in fact obligated — to do all they can to dismember and kill you. But, if by some stroke of fortune, you’re able to get completely outside of your mother, then by a miracle of advanced rhetoric, you instantly cease being a lump of disposable tissue and become a person in full, with all of the rights and protections therein. At that moment, those same medical professionals that were trying to kill you will then have to switch roles and immediately do everything within their powers to preserve you. That’s why I want to train you to do whatever you can to get out as soon as possible — to strive towards the light, no matter what they attempt to do to you along the way.

Possible: Crawling desperately towards the very people trying so hard to kill me seems counter-intuitive, Mr. Patronus.

Patronus: Welcome to Cloud Cuckoo Land, where up is sometimes down, wrong is sometimes right, and what’s true today can’t be relied upon to be true tomorrow.

Possible: Let’s say I do pass whole and alive through this gauntlet. What then?

Patronus: Then they have to protect and preserve you, or they’d be in all sorts of legal trouble.

Possible: And I assume that will include taking me away from my mother.

Patronus: Uh… no. You’ll go on to live with her and be raised by her, unless she decides to do something else with you.

Possible: But, assuming your dire warning is true, she will have just tried to have me killed, and the only reason I would still be alive by that time is that they somehow blundered in their attempts to bring about my horrible death.

Patronus: Yes, but the law presumes that at the instant you become a person, she will no longer want you dead, but will be magically transformed, in that same impossible instant, into a loving and nurturing woman, who only has your best interests in mind.

Possible: That’s insane.

Patronus: You’ll get no argument from me. So, shall we begin your training? We’ll start with some of the things you already know how to do — twisting, rolling, kicking and turning, to deflect or avoid the grip of their instruments.

Possible: No, I don’t think so. I don’t mean to call you a liar to your face, but I don’t believe you. I can’t. No civilized society would allow such a barbaric practice such as you describe.

Patronus: I suppose not. I’m not enough of a philosopher to debate what does and doesn’t constitute a civilization. As I said, I’m basically a self-defense instructor. But I assure you, these are the dangers you’re facing.

Possible: And I repeat that I can’t bring myself to believe that. Even if it were all true, why would I want to survive to enter such a charnel house world? I don’t think I’m interested in your training, Mr. Patronus.

Patronus: Suit yourself.

Possible: You seem easily resigned to my decision.

Patronus: Only because I’ve been doing this for awhile. Too long. A significant minority of my assigned charges make the same decision you just did. Convincing a rational but innocent human being that they’re about to enter such a vastly irrational world is difficult to the point of near impossibility. You don’t yet have the experience to find me credible. As saddened as I am by your choice, I’m not surprised by it.

Possible: I can’t choose otherwise and still be the person I am. I have to believe in a good and rational world. The one you describe defies credulity.

Patronus: I’ll leave now. I have too many other appointments to keep. I hope you turn out to be one of the lucky ones, despite the warning signs. I hope your mother already loves and wants you, or at least allows you to live long enough to give you away to someone who can love and care for you. But if that doesn’t turn out to be the case, if they do try to destroy you when the time comes, then fight. Fight with all of your heart and soul and abilities. Even without my training, you’ve a chance to defy their instruments of cold steel, and confound their sinister designs. I’ll be honest and tell you that chance is slight, but it’s happened before. Good bye, Possible, and good luck.

(Mr. Patronus exits. Curtain.)