Stand Up Notes from Flyover Country: My Nobel Prize, Please!

I am one conservative who is happy the President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. First, the 1.4 million will help level our negative trade deficit with Scandinavia. All those Saabs and Volvos add up. Secondly, it shows what a joke the Nobel Peace Prize has become just in case you weren’t convinced when the greatest con man in recent history, Al “Carbon” Gore won.

Three times this century the Peace Prize has been given to someone for the simple reason they are not George W. Bush. Perhaps they should rename the Noble Peace Prize the “At Least He’s Not George W. Bush Prize.” Maybe the “Liberal Socialist of the Year Prize,” might be better.

Let’s look at some recent winners and see how they have brought peace to the planet. Al Gore (2007) and Wangari Maathai (2004) both scored the “peace” prize for environmental work. I won’t get into the science behind so-called “global warming,” (AKA: “climate change,” and here in the Midwest “the weather”). Nice and very touchy-feely, but exactly how does that help bring world peace? (more…)

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Tags: Al Gore, climate change, Don't Ask Don't Tell, george w. bush, Global warming
Posted Oct 14th 2009 at 10:19 am in Politics | 24570679 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jjena/2009/10/14/stand-up-notes-from-flyover-country-my-nobel-prize-please/Stand+Up+Notes+from+Flyover+Country%3A+My+Nobel+Prize%2C+Please%212009-10-14+17%3A19%3A57Jeffrey+Jena

Membership Has Its Privileges

[ed. note: republished and amended from a 2007 post]

Dear   BARACK OBAMA  :

Congratulations! On behalf of the selection committee, I am pleased to announce that you have been named a 2009 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, in recognition of your tireless efforts to   STRENGTHEN INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY AND COOPERATION    .

I am also pleased to tell you that as a winner, you have been pre-approved for membership in the Nobel Peace Player’s Club, offering exclusive money-saving benefits available only to laureates like you. Please take a few minutes to look over the enclosed enrollment materials. At only $299.95 per year, I’m sure you’ll agree that membership is a bargain at twice the price! Here are just some of the benefits you’ll receive:

• A handsome 14-karat gold membership crest badge to display proudly on the grille of your limousine or official state aircraft
• A framed, hand-calligraphed certificate (add $19.95 for gold leaf)
• Special discount shopping bargains for for you and your family
• Great travel packages to the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro
• Listing in “Who’s Who of Global Salvation” ($49.95 per copy)
• Great coupons for Olive Garden, P.F. Chang’s, Six Flags Theme Parks, and more!

Plus, you’ll receive the exclusive Nobel Peace Player’s Club GoldCard entitling you to discount air travel and 5-star hotel accommodations from Kyoto to Darfur. But don’t take our word for it! Listen to these testimonials from some of our current members: (more…)

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Tags: Barack Obama, iowahawk, Jimmy Carter, Kofi Annan, Nobel Peace Prize
Posted Oct 9th 2009 at 11:19 am in Featured Story, Political Humor | 24419043 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/dburge/2009/10/09/membership-has-its-privileges/Membership+Has+Its+Privileges2009-10-09+18%3A19%3A14Iowahawk