Someone from my home state of Illinois (and I am NOT shocked this originated in Illinois) decided to start a petition to have Bert and Ernie get married on “Sesame Street.” Lair Scott said, “We are not asking that ‘Sesame Street’ do anything crude or disrespectful by allowing Bert and Ernie to marry. It can be done in a tasteful way. Let us teach tolerance of those that are different. Let ‘Sesame Street’ and PBS Kids be a big part in saving many worthy lives.” Seriously? Bert and Ernie getting married is going to help kids not bully others and LGBT kids stop committing suicide? Because preschoolers are the ones doing this? Ah, yes! The #1 way for a statist to promote an agenda is to somehow fit it in with SAVE THE CHILDREN! Mr. Scott is using their tragedy and a child’s program as a means to an end.

Who decided Bert and Ernie are gay? How can a puppet be sexual? Don’t answer that! It’s a rhetorical question. I remember it took me a long time to even realize they live together. It never clicked in my mind as a toddler and young kid that they live in the same house. They’re best friends, the puppet version of Felix and Oscar.

This morning I conducted an experiment with my toddler. Remember she is 2.5 years old. I asked her questions about Bert and Ernie. My first was, “What do you think is the relationship between Bert and Ernie?” She gave me a puzzled look. I asked her, “Do you think they have a relationship like Mommy and Daddy?” She gave me the same look, looked at the garage door, and asked, “Daddy?” I had to convince her that Daddy wasn’t coming home from work yet. I finally just asked, “Is Ernie orange?” Her face lit up and said enthusiastically, “Yeah!!!”

I asked my friends on Twitter how they viewed Bert and Ernie when they were growing up. The majority said they thought they were best friends. One thought they were father and son. A few thought brothers. Some said they didn’t care and still don’t care.

Fact is, children do not understand relationships of any kind at this age. I don’t even think my toddler understands the relationship between Mommy and Daddy.

Thank you to the “Sesame Street” producers who put out this statement:

Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most “Sesame Street” Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.

And yes, Mr. Scott, you are being disrespectful by asking “Sesame Street” to educate our children on this subject.  “Sesame Street” is mainly for entertainment with educational bits splashed in. It’s a good starting point for a teaching lesson for the day.

This has to stop. I don’t care all that much about them targeting adults or even teenagers, but when it comes to extremely young children, it’s gone too far. Why is it so hard for them to allow children to remain innocent? Why do they want children to grow up so fast?

We will stop watching if Bert and Ernie get married. I’m 100% for gay marriage, but COME ON!! “Sesame Street” is supposed to be about numbers, counting, letters, colors, animals, and just having fun! I don’t want my young children sitting down for an hour of Elmo, Zoe, Abby, and Big Bird and coming to me later asking questions about marriage, relationships, or sex. I want my girls to ask me what words start with the letter K or what number comes after 5.

Not surprising, but disheartening.

Take a look at some of the nominees that teenagers across the country are being asked to vote on this year:

• In the film category, teens can vote for Bad Teacher, one of the raunchiest R-rated films of the year. In various acting categories, they can cast their vote for actors from other hard-R films like Bridesmaids or The Hangover II.
• For best female artist, their choices include Rihanna, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry, known for sexually explicit personas and performances. One of Rihanna’s singles this year was titled “S&M.” Male singers nominated this year include Cee Lo Green, performer of “F— You,” and Eminem.
• Among animated shows, they get to vote for the decidedly adult cartoons Family Guy or American Dad.
• In the reality show category, they can choose among various Kardashian sisters, or go with Jersey Shore.

Actually, this year is relatively tame. In past years, nominees have included Sex and the City, South Park, Desperate Housewives, and Kick-Ass. Even blogger Perez Hilton, known for drawing filthy pictures on photos of celebrities and for publishing upskirt photos of minors, once got a nomination.

Did I mention this is a show for teens?

The nominees aren’t the only problem. As usually happens with award shows for adults, controversy and scandal during the ceremony itself are celebrated. It was on the Teen Choice Awards that Miley Cyrus did her infamous pole dance—and that was just one of the sexually provocative performances that teen viewers have been treated to over the years.

Once, not so long ago, there was widespread recognition that teens had ways of getting hold of music and movies that were generally considered too adult for them. But the phenomenon wasn’t always publicly encouraged like this. The open acknowledgment that the entertainment industry sees teens simply as so many dollar signs, rather than as kids who still need guidance and protection, is a fairly recent development. And a deeply disturbing one.

It’s often been said that hypocrisy is the tribute that vice pays to virtue. The no-holds-barred approach of the Teen Choice Awards—which is really just an annual snapshot of the debauchery pushed on American teens all year long—should have us asking ourselves if we have any virtue left at all.

—–

Via Wikipedia:

Captain Planet and the Planeteers is an American animated environmentalist television program, based on an idea by Ted Turner and Robert Larkin III.^[2][3] The show was produced by Andy Heyward, Robby London, Barbara Pyle and Nicholas Boxer. The series was developed and co-produced by Turner Program Services along with the partnership of DiC Entertainment and ran new episodes from September 15, 1990 until December 5, 1992. A sequel series, The New Adventures of Captain Planet, ran for three seasons and was produced by Turner Broadcasting and then-corporate sibling Hanna-Barbera Productions. Both programs continue today in syndication.^[4]

The program is a form of edutainment and advocates environmentalism.

On Andy Heyward:

Andrew Heyward could tell you. He could also locate Waldo, Beany and Cecile, Inspector Gadget, Madeline, the Real Ghostbusters, Heathcliff, G.I. Joe, Gadget Boy, Dennis the Menace, ALF, Captain Planet, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Bill and Ted. Andy Heyward’s excellent adventure began at UCLA and he Scooby-Dooed through Bedrock, writing and directing many Hanna-Barbera animated classics, including The Flinstones. Currently he is the chairman and CEO of DIC (pronounced “deek”) Entertainment, producers of child content for the worldwide market. Producers of more than 3,000 half-hours of animation, Andy’s company now independently owns the second largest library of American animation in the world. Captain Planet was the first environmental superhero and raised the environmental consciousness of an entire generation of kids.

Relationship expert Cameron Diaz felt moved to share her opinions with the boys of Maxim magazine.  This time she said marriage is a “dying institution.” Ms. Diaz, who’s seen more home runs than her current beau Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez has seen in his whole career, said “I think we have to make our own rules.  I don’t think we should live our lives in relationships based off old traditions that don’t suit our world any longer.”  

You remember Cameron – she’s the one who bragged about her promiscuity: “I can be attracted to a woman sexually, but it doesn’t mean I want to be in love with a woman. If I’m going to be with a woman sexually, it doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian. We put these restraints and definitions on people, but it’s hard to define.” 

Cameron Diaz was described by the international men’s magazine as a “rarefied creature even by Hollywood standards,” but to vulgarity aficionados Ms. Diaz is a woman full of “beauty, intelligence, and humor witha 4.0 in Potty Mouth.” Evidently, for consumers of “soft pornfor male adolescents,” Diaz’s coarse language elevates the ‘Vanilla Sky’ actress to the position of matrimonial philosopher and discerning harbinger of “new rules.” 

Summing up her marriage insights with advice that is sure to strengthen the fabric of society, theorist Diaz said: “Guys need women who challenge them and don’t let them get away with their s**t. Women, conversely, need to not be crazy bitches who blow up when their guys tell them something that scares them.” 

Diaz’s thoughts on traditional marriage were a perfect promotional segue for her new movie “Bad Teacher.” After demeaning a God-ordained institution, wanton schoolmarm Diaz set her sights on glorifying her role as a bawdy middle school teacher who probably makes child predator/stellar educators Mary Kay Letourneau and Debra LaFave both look like Teacher of the Year. 

“Lying seductively across a desk in a thigh-high miniskirt and red stilettos in a clutter-filled classroom,” Cameron graced the pages of the rude men’s magazine.  Referring to the movie “Bad Teacher,” the publication declares: “It’s not every day that one of the world’s biggest movie stars offers to fulfill your schoolboy fantasies. But then Cameron Diaz is not your average movie star… Miss Diaz, we’ve been bad, bad boys!” 

In the movie’s car washing scene, Cameron resurrects the spirit of the rather scandalous Van Halen hit single “Hot for Teacher.”  The 1984 video depicted a bikini-clad teacher parading around in front of a gang of lecherous, barely pubescent 7^thgraders who apparently had it ‘bad’ and were ‘hot for teacher.’  Twenty-seven years later, Diaz ratcheted it up a few notches with raunchy language, vodka-swilling and breast enhancements. 

In addition to dissing marriage, the not so angelic‘Charlie’s Angel’ continues to make her “own rules” and feels comfortable promoting a movie where she slithers all over a soapy car in hot pants during a car wash scene full of junior high school children.  Irreverent Diaz said the best part about the movie was that she enjoyed“being allowed to be rude to kids during the filming.”  Diaz joked, “The best thing was getting to abuse children, none of whom were harmed during the filming.” 

Ask Diaz about her romance with A-Rod: “It’s really awesome.” Her feelings on marriage: “Marriage hasn’t been important to me.”  On having children: “We don’t need any more kids. We have plenty of people on this planet.” 

Cameron Diaz is convinced that when it comes to marriage, family and education, “We should [not] live our lives in relationships based off old traditions that don’t suit our world any longer.” Which means the world Cameron endorses is immoral, corrupt, disrespectful, and depraved. 

So there you have it – Cameron Diaz, is just another in a long list of left-wing Hollywood social engineers who seem to believe American society is bettered by way of morally bankrupt musings.

It’ll tickle the back of your throat:

—–

So let me get this straight: you’re young, healthy and unemployed – and your solution for lack of health care is …THIS?

You know – There’s another option: getting off your asses, stop sponging off your parents and your government, and look for a damn job. That’s what people do in order to pay for things they want.

I mean – listen to this whine:

“For decades we were left wondering if we’d ever get covered.”

Really – you were wondering about health care before you were born? I don’t know what’s worse: your lack of initiative, your mindless dependence on handouts or your sulky expectations that obliterate any desire for achievement.

And how about this line: “What they’re really trying to do is take away our coverage. We won’t let them.”

How sadly predictable this is, that these idiots expect us to pay for their health care – rather than treat it like any other expenditure? It’s not “your ” health care to take away. It’s my money.

Something tells me these folks – despite lack of health care – still manage to have I-Phones, IPODs, tickets to Lady Gaga, Spring Break vacations, and all the beer they can throw up five days out of every week. You’re young, healthy, and boring: get your own insurance, you freeloading fools.

But you won’t – because you don’t really want it. You’re liars.

But the worst thing about this video? these tools combined two things I love – co-eds and nudity – and still managed TO BORE THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

That has to be the ugliest group of naked people I’ve seen since the Villages put on a holiday version of “Oh Calcutta.”

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist, homophobic wiccaphobe.

Tonght we are back with a great show:

S.E. Cupp

Imogen Lloyd Webber

Reggie Hamm 

And tomorrow we will be running the show that got bumped, which is an excellent, excellent show, I must say!

So last month I told you about The Center for Science in the Public Interest – the soulless scolds who believe all food should taste like pottery. Today, they’re threatening to sue McDonald’s for enticing kids with toys. They call the restaurant’s toy promotions creepy- as if nutrition activists aren’t.

Point of fact: they are.  They’re smelly, ugly and miserable.

Seriously -Have you been to a health food store lately? Ask yourself – how can a place be so healthy, if the workers resemble bags of soggy lawn trimmings?

Anyway, here’s what chafes my thighs. It’s this quote from the CSPI litigator, Stephen Gardner. He says,

“McDonald’s is the stranger in the playground handing out candy to children.”

Okay. So, in effect, this jackass has compared the production of fast food with child molestation – branding over 1.5 million McDonald’s employees as pedophiles.

You know that number’s way off.

Now I know how McDonald’s handles these things. They’ll respond that they offer healthy alternatives.

Like carrot sticks.

And, carrot sticks.

This is stupid. No one goes to McDonald’s for carrot sticks – they go there to get away from carrot sticks.

And to eat the world’s greatest food. True, an hour later, you feel like someone shot a snake up your butt – but that’s just a reflection of the love put into each Big Mac.

If I were McDonald’s, I’d flip the tables – demand an apology from CSPI for calling their workers kiddy fiddlers. And then dare these tools to come up with a better way than McDonald’s to feed billions of people cheaply.

Truth is, these losers offer no solutions – they’re just misery engines bent on destroying the achievements of others. Let’s hope their wheat germ gives them intestinal parasites.

Then, finally, they won’t be alone on Saturday night.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe who works at Arby’s.

Tonight we’ve got..

the awesome Michelle Collins!

the delightful Kimberly Guillfoyle!

the witty Will Leitch!

and the evil John Devore! ]]> http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/ggutfeld/2010/06/25/daily-gut-mcdonalds-and-molesters/feed/ 121 http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/ggutfeld/2009/09/29/daily-gut-obamas-school-plan/ http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/ggutfeld/2009/09/29/daily-gut-obamas-school-plan/#comments Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:24:38 +0000 Greg Gutfeld http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/?p=237382 Now if you’re like me, you know children are evil. They’re thieving, selfish creatures whose primary agenda includes spreading germs and smearing mucous on your belongings. So naturally you’d think I`d be in favor of President Obama`s plan for longer school days and shorter summer vacations. After all, that means less brats on the streets, defacing my tree fort made from discarded copies of Oui.

But on the contrary – I think Obama is off base, for three reasons:

First: When it comes to education, more doesn’t mean better. When something blows – ordering more of it doesn`t solve the problem. Fact is, we don`t need more school, we need better schools. Sadly, teachers unions have created a lock on jobs for even the most moronically incompetent – and the only way for a teacher to lose a job these days is if she gives one to a student. Worse – for a lot of kids, sending them back for three more hours of daily schooling in places like Chicago or Baltimore is like an academic version of stop-loss. They learn more about running for their lives than reading for enjoyment.

Second, Obama`s reasoning doesn’t have anything to do with us needing to become more competitive. We`ve already learned during his U.N. speech that Obama finds the notion of winning and losing distasteful. No, this idea of “more class” comes from his own opinions about America – convinced by his pals that compared to a far more sophisticated Europe, we`re all just hicks from the sticks who think Belgium is only a name for one of those fruity, overpriced beers. Which – as you know – is, completely correct.

Finally, I can’t help but think that President Obama wants kids to stay in school longer so they can learn more cool songs to sing. You know, about Obama.

And if you disagree with me, you`re probably a racist.

Tonight we’ve got the delightful Faith Salie, the amazing Doctor Coomer, the inciteful Mary Walter, and the hilarious Jim Florentine!

I have no idea how she’s getting the Ferris Wheel into the pool, but screw the details: Julie Stevens says that while competition often puts pressure on children, the kids actually crave the stress. The 300 or so tykes that have signed up so far apparently like being part of a team, and having the opportunity to shine before their peers and parents. You can’t do that without competition, the potential for winning (and losing) and stylish swim trunks.

Trophies for Everyone!

Of course, Stevens admits this is unpopular with folks concerned with children’s self-esteem. But most of those folks are idiots. We’ve learned that removing objective measures for achievement does nothing but create what I call “success socialism,” where it becomes pointless to build character when there’s nowhere to express it.

More important, competitive sports help you shape the kind of adult you’re going to become. Me? I sucked at most sports – but I played nearly every one because it taught me a valuable lesson: that I sucked at most sports. True, because of this, my teammates despised me: I couldn’t make a free throw, hit a fastball, or spike a volleyball. But I made up for it by playing nude.

But most importantly, my feelings were not spared because of my failures. No one attempted to comfort me just because potatoes were more coordinated than me. Fact is, my failures in sport steered me into areas where I could excel, and did. Of course I am talking about modern dance and taxidermy. Inevitably I combined the two, and if you would like to see my “Alvin the Chipmunk does Alvin Ailey,” stop by my trailer after work. Ignore the flies.

TONIGHT’S AWESOME GUESTS:

the great author Andrew Klavan

Andrea Tantaros

Jonathan Hoenig

and…John Bolton!

I find it funny that Hollywood leftists are the ones who’ve been pushing this ideal down our throats with one hand, while simultaneously producing the most brutally vile, “creative content” with the other. Libs love to paint Middle American conservatives as “Gun toting Neo-Cons with a thirst for violence,” yet more often than not, it’s those people who boycott their gratuitous, self-indulgent, crap-fests that they call films. Does anyone here honestly think that “Seung-Hi Choi” went on his Virginia-Tech shooting spree after getting fired up at an NRA rally? His pre-massacre phone-pictures showed him mimicking poses that he’d seen in “Tomb Raider” for crying out loud. Only in the United States could an entity such as Hollywood coin the term “Torture-Porn” for their content one moment, only to condemn a righteous war the next.

The truth is that Hollywood only has a problem with violence when it’s carried out with a distinct sense of right and wrong. Awesome 80’s cartoons like “G.I Joe” cease to exist because they were too “black and white.” Teaching children that the men of our military are “American Heroes” is part of an archaic ideal and apparently dangerous.

As soon as the little tykes hit their mid-teens however, they can look forward to a myriad of films combining the adrenaline rush of murder, with a simultaneous endorphin-release from sexual arousal. It’s totally cool though because we don’t know who the bad guy really is. It’s not a shoot-em-up… It’s a study of humanity, don’t ya know.

Folks, let me just re-iterate something that everyone already knows; When it comes to tyrants, violence is the only answer. Period. We should use this most recent example as a tool to teach our children the Dirty Harry philosophy in that there’s “Nothing wrong with a little shooting… As long as the right people get shot.”

The world is full of bullies, and rather than do our children a disservice by dancing around the truth, we should teach them how to beat these jerks to the punch (literally). When my kid comes home with his first bully problem, I won’t be leaving him ill-prepared for the world by giving him the old sissified, “Well, you need to use your words” speech. I’ll lay it down for him bluntly (as my dad did for me and as all parents should):

“Listen, son. You can go tell your teachers, but they won’t do very much and the kid’s probably just going to bully you even more. The same goes for the school Principal and the PTA. What you need to do, is walk right up to that punk, and punch him in the nose as hard as you possibly can. Now come, let me teach you a couple of take-downs.”

Preaching the wonders of properly-employed use of force to our kids is not only honest… It’s our duty in preparing them for the real world. If you think I’m wrong… Well, you’re probably a pansy, so what do I care?