Anyone who so much as channel surfed onto the 69th annual Golden Globes telecast last night spotted one bumble or another. Maybe more.

Meryl Streep dropped an “F” bomb during her acceptance speech for her work in “The Iron Lady.” Natalie Portman walked to the wrong podium. The teleprompter had a hiccup, leaving Rob Lowe to stare at the screen as if he had never ad libbed a second in his life. Johnny Depp looked like it was his first time speaking before a live audience.

“Modern Family” star Sofia Vergara had trouble with multiple names, but we’ll cut her some slack since one of them was “The Artist” director Michel Hazanavicius.

It’s a good thing Robert De Niro or Warren Beatty, two of the worst public speakers in Tinsel Town, weren’t in the building.

Some of these very same celebrities are pretty quick to mock the IQ levels of GOP presidential hopefuls like Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, but when it comes to one of the biggest nights of their profession they can barely maintain a professional veneer, let alone hit their marks.

The New York Post:

A White House “Alice in Wonderland” costume ball — put on by Johnny Depp and Hollywood director Tim Burton — proved to be a Mad-as-a-Hatter idea that was never made public for fear of a political backlash during hard economic times, according to a new tell-all.

“The Obamas,” by New York Times correspondent Jodi Kantor, tells of the first Halloween party the first couple feted at the White House in 2009. It was so over the top that “Star Wars” creator George Lucas sent the original Chewbacca to mingle with invited guests.

The book reveals how any official announcement of the glittering affair — coming at a time when Tea Party activists and voters furious over the lagging economy, 10-percent unemployment rate, bank bailouts and Obama’s health-care plan were staging protests — quickly vanished down the rabbit hole.

That was in October of 2009, five months prior to the film’s release in March of the following year. And yet, with over a hundred million on the line, the publicity-savvy Disney all but ignored an event that would’ve generated a ton of publicity towards the film and most certainly increased the all-important “awareness” studios crave most in the months leading up to the release of a tentpole such as this one.

The answer might lie in Disney’s history of putting partisan politics above shareholder profits. For instance, the studio spent $40 million on the 2006 miniseries “The Path to 9/11,” broadcast it only once to great ratings success, but has since refused to rerun it or even release the DVD. Why? Because Bill and Hillary Clinton are upset that the film exposed mistakes made during the Clinton Administration when it came to stopping Osama bin Laden.

But, you know, Hollywood’s money-driven, not political. It has to be true. The entertainment media told me so.

According to Real Clear Politics, Obama’s approval rating in late October of 2009 was above 51%. More importantly, the President wasn’t upside down with his disapproval higher than approval. So what harm could playing up a White House event do to the film? Of course, I ask that question as though we live in a sane world where Hollywood would ever care about offending half its customers. But even if we lived in a sane world, the question would still apply. No conservative I know would begrudge the studio putting on a party for the children of military personnel.

Obama or no Obama, Disney releasing and promoting publicity shots of a costumed Tim Burton and Johnny Depp delighting the children of our men and women in the military would’ve generated a ton of goodwill towards everyone involved and the film itself. However…

According to news reports and Google, Disney did next to nothing to play this event up.

Why?

Occam’s Razor. I think Disney’s a studio run by left-wing partisans who memory-holed the party for the same reasons I suspect the MSM did — to protect Obama from a public relations hit, especially one during the crucial days leading up to a crucial ObamaCare vote.

They’re all in bed together, and it is not a pretty sight.

The new book “The Obamas” by New York Times correspondent Jodi Kantor spills fresh dirt on a Oct. 2009 costume ball which included “Alice in Wonderland” star Johnny Depp and the film’s director, Tim Burton.

The event was kept from the public by the transparency-loving First Family for political reasons, Kantor says.

The book reveals how any official announcement of the glittering affair — coming at a time when Tea Party activists and voters furious over the lagging economy, 10-percent unemployment rate, bank bailouts and Obama’s health-care plan were staging protests — quickly vanished down the rabbit hole.

“White House officials were so nervous about how a splashy, Hollywood-esque party would look to jobless Americans — or their representatives in Congress, who would soon vote on health care — that the event was not discussed publicly and Burton’s and Depp’s contributions went unacknowledged,” the book says.

However, the White House made certain that more humble Halloween festivities earlier that day — for thousands of Washington-area schoolkids — were well reported by the press corps.

That tells you a little something about the quality of Oscar-bait films in 2011 (sorry, “J. Edgar”) but also proves that the film industry needn’t back-load the best for Christmas consumption.

The following 10 films remind us thrillers don’t have to arrive in theaters with every scrap of intelligence scrubbed from the narrative, and that the horror genre is still capable of giving us a jolt. You also won’t find a sequel or reboot here, although films like “X-Men: First Class” and “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” proved marketing-friendly projects don’t have to be lowest common denominator affairs.

1. “Martha Marcy May Marlene” – Did the film’s laborious title shred its box office hopes? Hard to say, except there needs to be some explanation why “MMMM” failed to draw a crowd. Elizabeth Olsen didn’t merely avoid the looming shadow of her famous siblings, the once ubiquitous Olsen Twins, she announced to the world there’s a new starlet in town. Olsen mesmerizes as a woman who escapes a cult only to find she can’t stop thinking about life under its oppressive regime.
2. “The Descendants” – Welcome back, Alexander Payne. The brain behind “Election,” “About Schmidt” and “Sideways” returns with the same kind of warm, thought-provoking fare that puts most of his peers to shame. George Clooney makes us forget he’s super-rich, super-famous and super-handsome, dissolving into the role of a man who finally learns his wife is cheating on him.
3. “Win Win” – Writer/director Tom McCarthy is officially three-for-three as an auteur, but his latest film marks the most audience-pleasing film in his impressive resume. Paul Giamatti shines, as usual, playing a morally conflicted wrestling coach given a star athlete out of the blue. “Win Win” can’t stop charming us, and it doesn’t insult our intelligence with a paint-by-numbers final act.
4. “Rango” – This animated wonder might not have made my list if not for my son insisting we watch it again – and again. And, with every viewing, the film’s stunning visual landscape and rich humor keep me thoroughly engaged. Johnny Depp may be on career autopilot these days – hey, where’s my Jack Sparrow eyeliner? – but his keenly aware vocal performance as the cowardly Rango proves he can still razzle dazzle us.
5. “The Debt” – The smartest thriller of the year got lost in the cineplex shuffle, but here’s betting the film will thrive on home video. A trio of Israeli spies try to capture a Nazi monster living a comfortable life as a gynecologist. Two generations of great actresses – Helen Mirren and Jessica Chastain – spark a hugely appealing adventure.
6. “Hanna” – Can someone please connect director Joe Wright with a comic book franchise (just not “Green Lantern”)? Wright clearly knows how to finesse larger than life heroes, even from the waif-like Saoirse Ronan. Yes, the final third doesn’t measure up to the rest, but how many finales could match that blistering pace?
7. “Margin Call” – A gut-wrenching thriller that recalls the 2008 financial meltdown sounds like the standard politically charged fare we’ve come to expect from Hollywood. Big speeches. Bigger performances. Lessons delivered on steroid-enhanced soap box. Not even close. Writer/director J.C. Chandor doesn’t skimp on the chills, but he makes Wall Street monsters all too human and reminds us how intricately flawed even the nicest people can be when the stakes are impossibly high.
8. “Bellflower” – The most original film of the year is also the most inscrutable, but that’s part of its dizzying appeal. Writer/director/star/tinkerer Evan Glodell tells a “boy meets girl” story that you’ll never forget. It’s like a mental tattoo you’ll never want to laser away.
9. “The Other F Word” – What happens when tatted-up singers become daddies? Diapers rule in this beautifully crafted documentary that extols the values of fatherhood over the need to rock, roll and trash the Man at every turn.
10. “Insidious” – The folks who helped slay the horror genre by sparking the “Saw” franchise return to apologize, and then some. This original, made on the cheap shocker delivers the kind of armrest gripping sequences audiences crave but too rarely receive. But please … don’t make a sequel and spoil its freshness.

Honorable Mention: “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” – The latest adventures of Ethan Hunt and his spy pals isn’t a great movie, nor does the script invite repeated viewings. It’s just a great action movie.

Just ask the folks who gave us “The A-Team,” the wannabe blockbuster that made us pity the fools who sank good money into it. Now, the creatively-impaired film industry is about to give us “21 Jump Street,” the film version of the TV show which gave Johnny Depp his first taste of fame.

The new film, hitting theaters Spring 2012, stars a thinner Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum as detectives working undercover in high school to sniff out a drug ring.

Depp will have a cameo in the film, a belated thank you for the property which launched his career. We don’t see Depp in the trailer, nor do we get many laughs from the two-plus minute tease.

Tatum is hardly the first actor who comes to mind when you think “action comedy,” although he showed some welcome self-awareness playing the stud Winona Ryder hooks up with in “The Dilemma.” Hill’s comic chops are fare more reliable, although some of his best work relies on the presence of uber-comedy producer Judd Apatow.

“21 Jump Street” still could click if the film shrewdly milks the fact that both detectives look a decade younger than their high school “peers.” For a movie with franchise written all over it, the first trailer feels a bit played out – already.

Via Fox Nation:

“The Rum Diary” is currently doing mediocre at the box office, but Depp says the money issue doesn’t matter to him.

“No, God no, no,” the actor explains. “It’s always a crapshoot, and really if you have that in your head while you’re making a movie the process would become something very different. No, I couldn’t give a rat’s arse really, not really.”

Depp has a long-term view of the film, saying, “I believe that this film, regardless of what it makes in, you know, Wichita, Kan., this week — which is probably about $13 — it doesn’t make any difference. I believe that this film will have a shelf life. I think it will stick around and people will watch it and enjoy it.”

[...]

“It’s something that will be more appreciated over here, I think. Because it’s — well, I think it’s an intelligent film — and a lot of times, outside the big cities in the states, they don’t want that,” Depp said.

And with that statement, Johnny Depp proves himself to be an ignorant bigot so bitter towards Middle America he doesn’t even understand how the American box office works.

After three weeks in release, “Rum Diary” has only hit $12.4 million domestically, which means that it’s not just Kansas avoiding the film in droves; it’s also all those “intelligent” big city people.

The average price for a movie ticket in 2010 was $7.89 (and no doubt higher in the cities). The math is simple and makes clear that fewer than 2 million Americans have purchased “Rum Diary” tickets. In the City of New York alone there are 8 million people. Los Angeles County has nearly 10 million “intelligent” residents. What does that tell you?

Depp can trash Kansas (total population 2.9 million) all he wants, but it’s probably safe to say that when you add up the population of every big city in America, about 90% of those “intelligent” folks are not purchasing “Rum Diary” tickets.

Leftist Hollywood doesn’t need Middle America to create hits; they need not a single bitterly clinging Red Stater to cross the $100 million mark . 15 million people will bring your box office haul to $120 million, and if you can’t hit that in a country where over 62 million people voted for Barack Obama, the problem is in your own backyard.

Today, he’s far more likely to be fronting a potential franchise than a little film to be seen at the Sundance Film Festival. Depp has made it big, and he’s a tad testy about it.

Depp recently bristled at the notion that he’s a sellout during an interview connected to his latest film, “The Rum Diary:”

The man who played Hunter S. Thompson, Edward Scissorhands and Gilbert Grape is, all of a sudden, accused of selling out. And he’s not happy about it.

“‘Pirates’ was a film I did just like any other one, I made that choice the same way I made every other choice,” Depp tells the Guardian in a new interview. As it turns out, with the ensuing franchise’s multi-billion dollar box office take, the film launched Depp into the world of huge money movie stars, but he doesn’t see how that impacts his authenticity as an artist.

“I wouldn’t change anything, no. Because I think I went into it innocently, and it became what it became,” he says. “And now they want to tear me down. Instantly, as soon as I did ‘Pirates II,’ they say: ‘Oh, he’s selling out.’ What the f*ck does that mean, selling out? What if I did ‘Ed Wood II,’ is that selling out? I mean, it’s not like I was ever looking to become franchise boy, I was never looking to become anything like that. I just latched on to a character I loved.”

Sorry, Johnny, you can’t have your street cred AND keep starring in mindless sequels engineered to make money. You copped to your sellout status the moment during the making of the first two “Pirates of the Caribbean” sequels when you admitted you had no idea what was going on. Yet you and director Gore Verbinksi went full speed ahead rather than fixing the problem.

Selling out isn’t a bad thing, by the way. Those daffy “Pirates” films make plenty of people happy, from audiences to the Disney bean counters.

For what it’s worth, Depp’s next films include big-screen version of “Dark Shadows” and “The Lone Ranger.”

That casting made sense for 1998’s ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,’ a Thompson-inspired film produced while Depp was still in his early 30s.

Now, as the actor creeps up on 50 (he’s 48), he’s far too old to be playing Thompson at the dawn of his muckraking career. Yet the age disparity isn’t what leaves a sour taste here. The film lacks a third act of consequence, and a text coda plastered on at the end hardly makes amends.

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But there’s still Depp dabbling in his hero’s life story and a snappy script which treats Thompson’s one-liners like those tiny liquor bottles lurking in a hotel room refrigerator. You know you shouldn’t gulp them down, but they’re too tantalizing to resist.

Depp plays Paul Kemp, a failed novelist trying to earn a gig at an English language newspaper in Puerto Rico circa 1960. Paul can’t speak Spanish, has a resume brimming with tall tales and shows up hung over for an interview with the paper’s editor (Richard Jenkins).

You’re hired! Now, start writing tomorrow’s horoscope.

Paul shows far more interest in the country’s bar scene than meeting deadlines, but he manages to pal up with the paper’s photographer (Michael Rispoli channeling a disheveled Jack Nicholson) while catching the attention of a burly U.S. businessman (Aaron Eckhart). It’s the kind of broadly drawn villain we expect from a Thompson project, but the actor imbues him with a nobility not found in the script.

The businessman plans to exploit Puerto Rico’s natural resources to meet his capitalistic whims, and he wants Kemp to grease the wheels by writing a few positive pieces about the pending deal. It’s just the sort of exchange that helps transforms Kemp into a social justice warrior. But before Kemp can save the world, he drops a little acid to ensure his life heads in a new, mentally addled direction.

Writer/director Bruce Robinson (‘Withnail and I’) recreates Puerto Rico’s past with incredible fidelity. It’s a gorgeous country, and ‘The Rum Diary’ is delectable to behold even when the story slows to a (pub) crawl. It helps that Depp and co. feast on some of Thompson’s best one-liners, a cacophony of wisecracks which pick up the narrative slack.

And there’s plenty of the latter, particularly with a tepid love triangle involving Depp and co-star Amber Heard. The blonde stunner may light up the screen, but her role isn’t dynamic enough to register.

Robinson only indulges in one acid-style trip, preferring to illustrate the numbing effects of alcohol in more realistic fashion. Audiences may feel hung over themselves watching a bleary-eyed Depp waking from one bender after another.

The sober Kemp allows Depp to dial down his idiosyncratic instincts, letting the character seem normal next to the circus of clowns around him. Giovanni Ribisi wears the floppiest shoes and grease paint as Moburg, a man who spends his entire life in an altered state.

The film coasts on its beautiful locales and trippy exchanges, but just as ‘Diary’ appears headed toward a grand finale, the story quietly implodes. Thompson’s own life provided plenty of adventure for those willing to tap it, but this ‘Diary’ wraps with a whisper, not a battle cry.

‘The Rum Diary’ recalls the dawn of a gonzo journalist, but it’s best served when letting its stars run amok amidst the beauty of Puerto Rico.

This weekend’s predictions and revenue results go as follows:

1. Puss In Boots ($37 million) – Opening the film now is kind of a head scratcher. A large family film just before Halloween that’s not connected to the holiday? Family Halloween activities this weekend will definitely cut into the flick’s overall gross. Look for Rango-like results here because of this.

2. Paranormal Activity 3 ($24 million) – This film will be helped much by Halloween activities this weekend, especially the later evening showings. Expect a very strong second coming and even more money in the franchise’s already impressive bank.

3. In Time ($14 million) – Justin Timberlake may be a lot of things, but he’s still an unproven box office draw. With Friends With Benefits already coming in under expectations last summer, this isn’t picking up much buzz in audience interest either. It will probably end up with a Source Code-like opening. That may even be too generous.

4. The Rum Diary ($6.4 million) – The film has Johnny Depp but also a very confusing marketing campaign. Most are unaware of the film’s premise, concept, or even plot lines. All it really has is, well, Johnny Depp. Because of this, look for a very low opening.

5. Footloose ($6.1 million) – With Puss In Boots stealing away Real Steel’s family audiences, Footloose finally has the inside track to beat the dueling robots. It will still be close, but look for this film to pull away in the end.

Feel we have it right? Or was there something we missed?

OH NOES! REDBOX RAISES DAILY RENTAL PRICE BY 20 CENTS

In case you haven’t figured it out already, one of the pleasures of Redbox is that it is both a way to see the latest offerings from Hollywood and a way stick your finger in Hollywood’s eye at the same time. A two-fer, if you will. And who doesn’t love a two-fer?

Redbox is to the film industry what Napster was to the music industry. The only difference is that Redbox is legal and moral whereas Napster was not.

I don’t hate Hollywood (my hate is all burned up by the mainstream media), but I also don’t like it very much; therefore 20 cents seems like a small price to pay to support the enemy of my enemy.

SAG, AFTRA CALL OUT IMDB, OTHERS FOR PRACTICE ORGS SAY FACILITATES AGE DISCRIMINATION

What a joke. No one discriminates more than Hollywood.

In casting session all around the word, on a daily basis they discriminate against individuals based only on their looks. Talent rarely has a thing to do with Hollywood’s hiring decisions. Does someone want to tell me Megan Fox is the best actress all those directors could find?

Hollywood does what every private business would be litigated out of business for doing; they hire pretty people for their movies because pretty people put butts in seats. Let Walmart hire only pretty people as cashiers, prove that doing so boosts profits, and see if they get away with it. But Hollywood gets away with the exact same thing and does so brazenly.

This union crybabying (do they ever do anything different?) is all about vanity. If SAG or AFTRA gave a damn about real discrimination they would be in an uproar what’s known as ‘lookism.’

Crybabies, liars and hypocrites. Oh, how I hate me some unions.

DWINDLING DVD REVENUES RESULT IN 120 LAYOFFS

Unless it’s the mainstream media, I take no pleasure in seeing people lose their jobs. If it is the mainstream media, I do my ritual happy dance before the gods of New Media.

What you have here, however, is the workaday folks taking the hit while the upper 1% like Johnny Depp walk away with $50 million per picture.

There’s a way for these folks not to lose their jobs, a way for the studios to increase their profits enough to save these jobs, but when you have to satisfy the upper 1%, this is what you get.

The smell of hypocrisy is everywhere in the 90210.

SEAN PENN DIRECTING ‘THE COMEDIAN’ WITH KRISTEN WIIG, ROBERT DE NIRO

Sean Penn is an outstanding director and I’m betting he gets the best performance we’ve seen from Robert De Niro in fifteen years. Watching De Niro overact in the tradition of his pal Al Pacino has been more than a little heartbreaking. But Penn was able to direct scenery-chewer Jack Nicholson into one of his best performances in “The Pledge,” a near-masterpiece everyone should see regardless of your personal feelings about Penn.

No doubt, Sean Penn is an asshole, but he’s an asshole capable of telling superb, character-driven stories that stay with you long after the lights come up.

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SCOTTDS’ EPIC LINK-TACULAR

STEVEN CROWDER OCCUPIES … RACISM!

READER REVIEW: ‘THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN‘

CHARLIE SHEEN’S ‘ANGER MANAGEMENT’ SITCOM TO AIR ON FX

STEVE MARTIN TO RELEASE A BOOK OF ‘TWEETS’

TEASER TRAILER FOR NEW STARZ SERIES ‘MAGIC CITY,’ STARRING JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN

‘THE HOBBIT’ TO PREMIERE IN NEW ZEALAND

OLIVER STONE TO DIRECT ‘THE POWER BROKER’ FOR HBO, BASED ON ROBERT CARO’S BOOK

STATE OF STUDIO DEALS: WHO’S DOING WHAT WHERE

FUNNY VIDEO: JOHNNY DEPP GETS HIS REVENGE ON RICKY GERVAIS

‘IRON MAN 3′ TO BE FILMED IN NORTH CAROLINA

VISUAL EFFECTS VETERAN DOUGLAS TRUMBULL DISCUSSES 3D AND HIGHER FRAME RATES

FOX PLANNING BACK-TO-BACK ‘INDEPENDENCE DAY’ SEQUELS, WITH OR WITHOUT PRICEY WILL SMITH

10 BEST PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON CHARACTERS

DO YOU REALLY NEED TO READ THE SYNOPSIS FOR ‘THE EVIL DEAD’ REMAKE?

A LOOK AT’ BAND OF BROTHERS’ WRITER ERIC JENDRESEN’S UNPRODUCED STAR TREK PREQUEL

10 STARS WHO NEVER SHOULD’VE LEFT TV

‘PSYCHO II’ AND 9 OTHER UNDERRATED HORROR SEQUELS

THE DIABOLICAL DIAGRAM OF MOVIE MONSTERS

25 FACTS ABOUT ‘DONNIE DARKO‘

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LAST NIGHT’S SCREENING

Paranormal Activity (2007) — My second go around was as satisfyingly creepy as the first. It helps that I have the memory of a hundred year-old and forgot most of the story, but for my money this is an absolutely brilliant horror film. The scares are honest. There’s nothing cheap at work here. The plot is about as effective as you can get in creating not only a sense of dread but also slowly escalating your understanding of the danger this young couple is in.

The casting is equally effective. It helps so much that the lovely Katie Featherston isn’t “Hollywood-lovely.” She looks like a real person. Even more impressive is the characterization of her immature boyfriend Micah (Micah Sloat), whose terminal stupidity and misplaced pride constantly provokes the demon.

Part two is on Netflix Streaming and while I have to work late tonight, I am hoping to give that one another go-round.

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CLASSIC PICK FOR SATURDAY, OCTOBER 29

TCM:

11:00 PM  Body Snatcher, The (1945) –  To continue his medical experiments, a doctor must buy corpses from a grave robber. Dir: Robert Wise Cast:  Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Henry Daniell. BW-78 mins, TV-PG, CC.

Karloff, Lugosi, body snatching…  Need I say more? Outside of the classic Universal horror films featuring Frankenstein, Dracula, the Mummy, etc., this is my favorite old time spooker.

A young Robert Wise, who would go on to win Academy Awards for directing “The Sound of Music” and “West Side Story,” was really showing his potential and range as a director here. Masterful film in every sense of the word and starring my two of my all-time favorites.

We will never see the likes of Karloff and Lugosi again.

Giants.