You’d think people who get paid to recite lines, hit their cues and say the right thing would do some, if not all, of the above during a gala ceremony honoring their peers.

Anyone who so much as channel surfed onto the 69th annual Golden Globes telecast last night spotted one bumble or another. Maybe more.

Meryl Streep dropped an “F” bomb during her acceptance speech for her work in “The Iron Lady.” Natalie Portman walked to the wrong podium. The teleprompter had a hiccup, leaving Rob Lowe to stare at the screen as if he had never ad libbed a second in his life. Johnny Depp looked like it was his first time speaking before a live audience.

“Modern Family” star Sofia Vergara had trouble with multiple names, but we’ll cut her some slack since one of them was “The Artist” director Michel Hazanavicius.

It’s a good thing Robert De Niro or Warren Beatty, two of the worst public speakers in Tinsel Town, weren’t in the building.

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Unlike the corrupt mainstream media, Disney Studios has no obligation, moral or otherwise, to inform anyone about the White House throwing a lavish Hollywood-themed party during the depths of the Great Recession. But it is more than a little revealing that just prior to the release of a big-budget adaptation of “Alice In Wonderland,” the studio wouldn’t use a White House event ATTENDED BY THE PRESIDENT AND THE FIRST LADY to help promote the film.

The New York Post:

A White House “Alice in Wonderland” costume ball — put on by Johnny Depp and Hollywood director Tim Burton — proved to be a Mad-as-a-Hatter idea that was never made public for fear of a political backlash during hard economic times, according to a new tell-all.

“The Obamas,” by New York Times correspondent Jodi Kantor, tells of the first Halloween party the first couple feted at the White House in 2009. It was so over the top that “Star Wars” creator George Lucas sent the original Chewbacca to mingle with invited guests.

The book reveals how any official announcement of the glittering affair — coming at a time when Tea Party activists and voters furious over the lagging economy, 10-percent unemployment rate, bank bailouts and Obama’s health-care plan were staging protests — quickly vanished down the rabbit hole.

That was in October of 2009, five months prior to the film’s release in March of the following year. And yet, with over a hundred million on the line, the publicity-savvy Disney all but ignored an event that would’ve generated a ton of publicity towards the film and most certainly increased the all-important “awareness” studios crave most in the months leading up to the release of a tentpole such as this one.

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President Barack Obama had a Halloween to remember back in 2009, the same time the fledgling Tea Party movement was alerting the nation to Beltway waste and fraud.

The new book “The Obamas” by New York Times correspondent Jodi Kantor spills fresh dirt on a Oct. 2009 costume ball which included “Alice in Wonderland” star Johnny Depp and the film’s director, Tim Burton.

The event was kept from the public by the transparency-loving First Family for political reasons, Kantor says.

The book reveals how any official announcement of the glittering affair — coming at a time when Tea Party activists and voters furious over the lagging economy, 10-percent unemployment rate, bank bailouts and Obama’s health-care plan were staging protests — quickly vanished down the rabbit hole.

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Audiences didn’t have to wait until December to see the best movies of 2011. In some cases, this year’s finest films were ready for their Blu-ray inspection by the time Oscar season officially began.

That tells you a little something about the quality of Oscar-bait films in 2011 (sorry, “J. Edgar”) but also proves that the film industry needn’t back-load the best for Christmas consumption.

The following 10 films remind us thrillers don’t have to arrive in theaters with every scrap of intelligence scrubbed from the narrative, and that the horror genre is still capable of giving us a jolt. You also won’t find a sequel or reboot here, although films like “X-Men: First Class” and “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” proved marketing-friendly projects don’t have to be lowest common denominator affairs.

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Somebody in Hollywood didn’t get the memo that rebooted TV properties from the ’80s are a dicey proposition.

Just ask the folks who gave us “The A-Team,” the wannabe blockbuster that made us pity the fools who sank good money into it. Now, the creatively-impaired film industry is about to give us “21 Jump Street,” the film version of the TV show which gave Johnny Depp his first taste of fame.

The new film, hitting theaters Spring 2012, stars a thinner Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum as detectives working undercover in high school to sniff out a drug ring.

Depp will have a cameo in the film, a belated thank you for the property which launched his career. We don’t see Depp in the trailer, nor do we get many laughs from the two-plus minute tease.

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Johnny Depp is pretty sure Middle America’s stupid, but I don’t know of anyone in Middle America stupid enough to squander $45 million plus the cost of advertising to adapt an unpublished Hunter S. Thompson novel after “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”  (also a Thompson adaptation) failed to hit $11 million at the box office.

Via Fox Nation:

“The Rum Diary” is currently doing mediocre at the box office, but Depp says the money issue doesn’t matter to him.

“No, God no, no,” the actor explains. “It’s always a crapshoot, and really if you have that in your head while you’re making a movie the process would become something very different. No, I couldn’t give a rat’s arse really, not really.”

Depp has a long-term view of the film, saying, “I believe that this film, regardless of what it makes in, you know, Wichita, Kan., this week — which is probably about $13 — it doesn’t make any difference. I believe that this film will have a shelf life. I think it will stick around and people will watch it and enjoy it.”

[...]

“It’s something that will be more appreciated over here, I think. Because it’s — well, I think it’s an intelligent film — and a lot of times, outside the big cities in the states, they don’t want that,” Depp said.

And with that statement, Johnny Depp proves himself to be an ignorant bigot so bitter towards Middle America he doesn’t even understand how the American box office works.

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Johnny Depp made a name for himself in quirky fare like “Ed Wood,” “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape,” and “Dead Man.”

Today, he’s far more likely to be fronting a potential franchise than a little film to be seen at the Sundance Film Festival. Depp has made it big, and he’s a tad testy about it.

Depp recently bristled at the notion that he’s a sellout during an interview connected to his latest film, “The Rum Diary:”

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Johnny Depp’s blinding affection for late gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson convinced him to play the writer’s alter ego – again – in ‘The Rum Diary.’

That casting made sense for 1998’s ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,’ a Thompson-inspired film produced while Depp was still in his early 30s.

Now, as the actor creeps up on 50 (he’s 48), he’s far too old to be playing Thompson at the dawn of his muckraking career. Yet the age disparity isn’t what leaves a sour taste here. The film lacks a third act of consequence, and a text coda plastered on at the end hardly makes amends.

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But there’s still Depp dabbling in his hero’s life story and a snappy script which treats Thompson’s one-liners like those tiny liquor bottles lurking in a hotel room refrigerator. You know you shouldn’t gulp them down, but they’re too tantalizing to resist.

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As predicted, Paranormal Activity 3 scared up a huge opening last week. This week, it’s animated fare that looks to grab the top spot while Justin Timberlake and Johnny Depp headline also-rans.

This weekend’s predictions and revenue results go as follows:

1. Puss In Boots ($37 million) – Opening the film now is kind of a head scratcher. A large family film just before Halloween that’s not connected to the holiday? Family Halloween activities this weekend will definitely cut into the flick’s overall gross. Look for Rango-like results here because of this.

2. Paranormal Activity 3 ($24 million) – This film will be helped much by Halloween activities this weekend, especially the later evening showings. Expect a very strong second coming and even more money in the franchise’s already impressive bank. (more…)

OH NOES! REDBOX RAISES DAILY RENTAL PRICE BY 20 CENTS

In case you haven’t figured it out already, one of the pleasures of Redbox is that it is both a way to see the latest offerings from Hollywood and a way stick your finger in Hollywood’s eye at the same time. A two-fer, if you will. And who doesn’t love a two-fer?

Redbox is to the film industry what Napster was to the music industry. The only difference is that Redbox is legal and moral whereas Napster was not.

I don’t hate Hollywood (my hate is all burned up by the mainstream media), but I also don’t like it very much; therefore 20 cents seems like a small price to pay to support the enemy of my enemy.

SAG, AFTRA CALL OUT IMDB, OTHERS FOR PRACTICE ORGS SAY FACILITATES AGE DISCRIMINATION

What a joke. No one discriminates more than Hollywood.

In casting session all around the word, on a daily basis they discriminate against individuals based only on their looks. Talent rarely has a thing to do with Hollywood’s hiring decisions. Does someone want to tell me Megan Fox is the best actress all those directors could find?

Hollywood does what every private business would be litigated out of business for doing; they hire pretty people for their movies because pretty people put butts in seats. Let Walmart hire only pretty people as cashiers, prove that doing so boosts profits, and see if they get away with it. But Hollywood gets away with the exact same thing and does so brazenly.

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You’re not a conservative if Kim Kardashian making millions for being a half-witted, no-talent reality TV star bothers you. In fact, if you feel “there oughta be a law” somehow regulating, limiting or otherwise controlling in any manner at all how much dough she rakes in from the drooling morons who choose to fling it at her, you are part of the problem.

This woman took very, very little in the way of ability and somehow provided a service – of a kind that frankly baffles me – that millions of people nevertheless want to spend their money on. Regardless, it’s none of your or my business, and it’s especially none of the government’s business.

But now, here comes “Occupy Hollywood,” a hilarious exercise in poetic justice in which the left proposes to chase its own tail by attacking the same cretinous celebrities who have been the first to parrot every commie slogan the bongo-playing degenerates of Occupy Wall Street have misspelled on their placards.

Jo Piazza, the author of some remainder bin perennial titled Celebrity, Inc.: How Famous People Make Money, is leading the bite-the-hand-that-feeds-you-athon with an article in The Huffington Post called “Occupy Hollywood: Why It’s Time To Call Out High-Earning Celebrities.”

For some reason, she thinks what movie stars make is some sort of problem:

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This week’s HomeVideodrome podcast rambles from film festival cards, to Frank Miller comics, along with how awesome Guns of the Navarone is.  So go listen as we stumble on through it!

When the first ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie came out, it took everyone by surprise. Prior to its release, movies about pirates were seen as box office poison, with Roman Polanski’s ‘Pirates’ and Renny Harlin’s disastrous ‘Cutthroat Island’ being primary examples of seafaring movies that bombed spectacularly.

So when Disney put out this movie based on their theme park ride, it was a surprise to Hollywood that it took off the way it did.  This was thanks largely in part to Johnny Depp’s unique performance as Jack Sparrow, a wisecracking, guyliner-wearing rogue who won the hearts of audiences with his sharp wit and adventurous spirit. Then the sequels happened, and the trajectory of the franchise was not dissimilar to that of ‘The Matrix’ films. The second one was bloated, flawed, but somewhat enjoyable, and the third one was just a hot, wet, nightmarish mess.

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Arnie Grape and I 

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape is one of my favorite films.

Of all time!

The cast is beyond perfect.

Led by Johnny Depp, Juliette Lewis and Leonardo Di Caprio, the love story that is Gilbert Grape puts its director, Lasse Halstrom, at the very top of my heroic list. A personal pantheon that only includes one other director: Elia Kazan.

Yes, for me Halstrom’s What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? is almost the equal of On The Waterfront.

Almost.

Why?

The two scripts, the directors and, above all, the actors convey, with piercing depth, the courage it takes to love unconditionally.

In Gilbert Grapes’ case, it is the hero’s ultimately unconditional love for his family and his brother Arnie’s love for life itself.

Because my experience of family was the antithesis of Gilbert Grape’s, I don’t sympathize with the Depp character as I have increasingly identified with Marlon’s Brando’s Terry Malloy. In On The Waterfront we ultimately see the hero’s unconditional love of not family or tribe but of truth. Despite the union thugs and their increasingly dangerous threats, Terry Malloy must risk his life to tell the truth.

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NO JOKE: ‘BLUES BROTHERS’ TV SERIES IN DEVELOPMENT

The pitch is ‘Route 66′ meets ‘Glee’. So I guess Jake and Elwood went gay in prison and are now on the road combing their hair a lot in-between show tunes.

Somebody make them stop.

JOHNNY DEPP REMAKING ‘THE THIN MAN’

Apparently, the idea is to stylize the 76 year-old reboot in the same way Guy Ritchie and Robert Downey Jr. stylized Sherlock Holmes. In other words, this is more about grabbing hold of a brand name.

Should be interesting to see what’s done with the drinking. Watching William Powell and Myrna Loy continuously throw ‘em back today (though they slowed as the series progressed), is disconcerting, to say the least.  Like the doomed “Arthur” reboot, I suspect this will require some adjustments.

The screenwriter is David Koepp, one of the biggest names in the biz, and there will be musical numbers.

We shall see.

SUMMER BOX OFFICE ATTENDANCE SECOND-LOWEST IN DECADE

The industry will still set a box office record with $4.5 billion worth of tickets sold, but the number of tickets sold was only 558 million — the second lowest in ten years.

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Rango is an animated acid-western that’s fun for the whole family, a sentence I never imagined I would write.

Johnny Depp voices the titular character, a chameleon who fancies himself an actor, using the only co-star he has at his disposal: a wind up toy goldfish. After a mishap on a desert highway that results in him falling out of his owners’ car, Rango by chance lands the role of a lifetime as the sheriff of a small desert town called Dirt. Populated by leather-skinned animals and reptiles, Dirt has a problem involving a dwindling water supply, and the townsfolk look to their new lawman to save the day, as he and the townsfolk chase naked mole-rat water-bandits, uncovering a conspiracy straight out of Chinatown.

You haven’t seen an animated movie quite like Rango, despite its familiar structure, which is the classic “hero’s journey” formula. Alfred Molina voices a mystic armadillo that acts as Rango’s herald, sending him in the direction he’s meant to go after he finds himself stranded in the desert. What makes the film so much fun is director Gore Verbinski’s southwestern visual motifs and its bizarre sense of humor. The creatures are hideous, but not unintentionally so like the Disney bomb Mars Needs Moms. Instead they go well with parched desert landscape, like the facial landscapes that populate the films of Sergio Leone. Mariachi owls act as a sort of Greek chorus, setting the tone with their music and frequently breaking the forth wall to assure us that the protagonist will surely die soon, and horribly so.  Pop in some cameos by classic movie characters (one that’s been portrayed by Depp in the past, you can’t miss it) and heatstroke desert hallucinations, and you have one of the more original animated offerings you’re likely to find this side of Pixar.  At first I thought it might be a bit of an oddball offering for kids to digest, but Christian Toto’s son seems to love it, so it’s be a good one to bring home that film buffs can enjoy with their little ones.

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–GREG GUTFELD MOVES TO PRIMETIME!

Is five p.m. primetime? Let’s just say that it is. After all, we here at Big Hollywood have been pushing for Primetime Greg for a while now and unlike the Soros’ funded, tax exempt Media Matters, we’d like to move on from bothering Fox News.

But take heart “Red Eye” lovers. Nothing’s changed in Unicorn Land. Greg’s simply doing double duty. The new Fox News Channel show is called “The Five” and it’s on at five p.m. and it’s on at five p.m. with five panelists. Get it? Along with Greg, you’ll find Bob Beckel, Dana Perrino, Eric Bolling and others talking about the big issues of the day — including, coincidentally, Soros’-funded Media Matters and their tax exempt status. Check out that clip. Yes, there is a leg chair.

Congrats and good luck, Greg. Well deserved. Though we do miss those ‘logues over here.

And now the Big Hollywood push to get Bill and Andy to primetime begins…

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Four years ago, Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp’s alter ego) sailed out of our lives in “At World’s End,” in a chaotic, action-packed ending to a three-part series. But the only way to really get rid of Jack, or any pirate for that matter, is to hang them. Thus, it was inevitable that he would reappear on the high seas, off on another adventure.

And so he has. Sparrow is back in “On Stranger Tides,” a dark race across high seas in search of the mythical Fountain of Youth.

“On Stranger Tides” begins with Jack Sparrow up to the antics that made him famous, impersonating a British judge in order to rescue Gibbs (Kevin McNally), his old shipmate. (Depp and McNally, like the actors playing all the reprised characters and most of the new ones, hit their marks with ease.) But their attempted escape is foiled by King George’s men, and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), now a privateer in service of the British Crown, demands that Jack join him on a quest in search of the Fountain of Youth.

The ever-adept Jack escapes Barbossa’s grasp, only to be captured by former lover Angelica (Penélope Cruz) and forced into the crew of her father, the mythically villainous Captain Blackbeard (Ian McShane), who is also searching for the famed fountain. (more…)

(Warning: Spoilers abound)

Politics make strange bedfellows and movies can make strange politics…

They might not necessarily further the political ideology of the filmmakers because, when good filmmakers do their jobs and serve their story, agendas you wouldn’t anticipate crop up. How else to explain The Dark Knight’s alleged defense of Bush II era terror fighting tactics or what appeared to be a subtle stay-the-course-in-Iraq-so-we-don’t-duplicate-our-past-mistake-in-Afghanistan epilogue in Charlie Wilson’s War?

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But no example (even the ol’ “The Yellow Brick Road” in The Wizard of Oz is a metaphor for the gold standard!) is more bizarre and unexpected than the politics of Rango, opening this weekend.

Yes, I’m talking about the computer animated flick from Paramount and Nickelodeon about a domesticated chameleon who gets lost in the wild wild west of the Mojave Desert, directed by Gore Verbinski (the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy) and featuring the voice of Johnny Depp.

Much of the plot is unabashedly borrowed from Chinatown, from the pipe mysteriously dumping water in the middle of nowhere, to the character found dead from drowning out in the desert, to the seemingly innocuous old man in a wheelchair (in this case, a turtle voiced by Ned Beatty, channeling John Huston) who is clearly up to no good. If you want to know what he’s up to, well, just see Chinatown. (more…)

Although the Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie-starrer “The Tourist” has been faltering at the box office, it recently received unexpected support from the Golden Globe nominations. Along with a nomination for best musical or comedy, the film also earned acting nominations for both Depp and Jolie. As in many other cases, audiences were right in their distaste with it and the Hollywood Foreign Press was mistaken in its misguided support for a film that doesn’t even qualify as either a musical or a comedy.

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“The Tourist” begins with Elise Clifton-Ward (Jolie) under heavy surveillance. She sits at a European restaurant while agents watch her every move waiting for her daily routine to change. She’s a woman who stays on schedule so any deviation from it could bring the agents information on their real target: Elise’s former boyfriend and well-known thief, Alexander Pearce.

As the agents watch her, Elise receives a note from Alexander to board a train and find a stranger that resembles the missing thief. This person will help her divert attention away from the real Alexander when he arrives back in town. Frank Tupelo (Depp), an American schoolteacher, is the man that Elise chooses. Frank is amazed that such a beautiful woman wants to talk to him and he follows her every move. Soon enough, the police and the mobster that Alexander betrayed are keeping tabs on the couple and trying to figure out who Frank is and how he fits into the equation. (more…)