Consider “Immortals” a cinematic snack while we wait … and wait … for the promised sequel to “300.”

The new swords and six-pack abs flick dabbles in the elements that made “300″ such a guilty pleasure. Merciless fight sequences. Monosyllabic heroes. More digital effects than “Green Lantern” and “Sucker Punch” combined.

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Add the future Man of Steel, Henry Cavill, and you’ve got a giddy blend of action and mumbo jumbo plotting. Then again, did anyone cheer on “300″ for its nuanced storytelling?

Cavill stars as Theseus, a Greek peasant trying to protect his town from King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke), a ruler renown for his insatiable appetites. He’s always chomping something, with flecks of food clinging to his scruffy beard. Fruit, meat, scenery, there’s nothing ol’ Hyperion won’t munch on. But he really hungers for world domination, and if he finds a magical bow he might just get it.

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I hated the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark. No, not the Citizen Kane homage rosebud scene at the end – I loved that – but the ending of the movie. I didn’t want it to end. I hadn’t enjoyed a film that much since, well, Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, or Jaws. I wanted it to continue. I wanted more. 

I got more and I didn’t want it. 

Why don’t sequels do well? Obviously, I’m not alone in feeling the way I do about Raiders or Star Wars or Jaws or any other great character-rich, dynamically set film that pulls you in and doesn’t fully let go even after the end titles trail up and we see that film certification symbol fade out. So, why is it that more of what we love, we hate? Well, maybe not hate, but not love quite so much. What’s going on here?  (more…)