How many of you know that Michele Bachman has not just a Bachelor’s degree and a Juris Doctorate, but also an LL.M. (that’s a Masters of Law)?   Is Harry Reid moonlighting as a rocket-scientist or something?  Did I miss the memo that Joe Biden is a foremost authority on biblical hermeneutics?  But why would comics rib these intellectual giants when they can make Bachmann and Palin the punchline for the eleventy-billionth time?

By all means, Hollywood, poke fun at our leaders, but why not test-drive some new targets?  We guarantee you’ll win over a broader audience.  Besides, you’ll allow for at least a shadow of a doubt that you aren’t the partisan shills you are. -AM

But the important part of Hanks’ interview wasn’t the announcement about voting for Obama, it was the way in which he actually presented Obama as an accomplished president: as a president who really had brought hope and change instead of harm and economic disarray.

For example, Hanks said Obama had saved “about a billion jobs” at GM and Chrysler via the passage of the stimulus package. (I’m just going to go ahead and say Hanks is too intelligent to truly believe this. He was either talking tongue-in-cheek or he is a full blown victim of Obama-mania: a feverish disease which I thought had ceased to exist once the economy tanked a year into Obama’s presidency.)

Contrary to Hanks’ claims, Obama hasn’t added jobs to our economy. Rather, he has destroyed them. Thus, Obama’s promise in early 2009 that unemployment would never rise above 8% if the stimulus package was passed turned into unemployment as high at 10% (even with the stimulus package), and which now sits at 9.1% (thanks to Obama).

As a matter of fact, the damage Obama has done to our economy is so great that no less a liberal outlet than CBS News took time in October 2010 to point out: “The National Debt has increased by more than $3 trillion since President Obama took office.” (For those of us who’ve never thought about it, $3 trillion written out looks like this: $3,000,000,000,000.)

Need more proof of the damage Obama has done?

Consider this: while the nationwide unemployment average stands at 9.1%, the average for black Americans stands at 16.2%. It’s as if Obama has waged war on the black community.

Whatever happened to all that talk about spreading the wealth around?

It appears Obama has only been spreading poverty.

While there’s no doubt ideologues and die-hard liberals will still pull the lever for Obama in 2012, outside of those political extremists the numbers supporting Obama should be greatly diminished compared to 2010. For odds are, they will be worse off in 2012 than they were four years ago (and there’s a good chance they’re worse off right now).

Mr. Hanks is a good actor, dare I say a great actor, but the reasons he gives for supporting Obama simply cannot be stomached. To label Obama a job creator is to assign him a moniker as fake as Joe Biden’s hair plugs.

Hollywood can hold to the lie all they want, but out here where east meets west, where working men and women earn their dollars by the sweat of their brow, we’re not buying it.

By raw statistics, that would indicate over a quarter of the entertainment business is Republican. Now it could just be that Republicans are more generous.  Democrats are notoriously cheaper than a Barney Frank ferry ride. Al Gore spent more money on harassable masseuses than he gives to charity. Bill Clinton’s idea of charity is giving away used underwear (though in fairness, some of the clothing he soiled is now considered museum quality). Joe Biden spends more on polishing his tooth marks out of his shoes than he routinely gives away.

Democrats are as hypocritical as Leonardo DiCaprio’s private jet. They talk all the time about the uncaring rich not helping the poor, but come tax time, the charitable giving recorded on their Schedule As is dwarfed by their mortgage interest on their luxurious abodes. Democrats think their public service and undying support of a powerful state is tantamount to charity.

Perhaps showbiz Republicans give more, since their money says the words they can’t speak at work. When you have to put in eight-plus hours alongside people who can’t hold back their opinions about the ignorant bigoted tea-bagging Republicans, you’re bound to come home and take revenge with your checkbook.

Or maybe we just have more to spend. Usually people don’t discover Republicanism until they’re in the upper tax bracket. It’s strange how money looks from the other side of the fence. I know a comedian who once had a line about nobody needing more than three million dollars a year, that any dime you make above three million should be confiscated, because if you CAN’T make it on three million dollars a year, you’re an idiot and don’t deserve it anyway.

The last time I saw him joking about a maximum wage I knew he had made good, because he was now claiming that nobody needed more than $150 million a year. I’m glad that he’s doing well for himself, and he’s learned that three million dollars is not as much as a starving artist might imagine. Especially in show biz, where 25% is taken straight off the top, before the IRS and the State of Wherever-You-Unpack-Your-Suitcase get their share.

But I truly suspect that the amount of Republicans in the industry is far underestimated. Democrats just tend to be louder so it appears like there are more of them.  Here at Big Hollywood, there are only a handful of showbiz types who have revealed themselves. I think more need to come out of the attic, at least for the inner peace they will find. It isn’t healthy for everyone to keep their opinions locked up inside.

I say come out of your hiding places everyone. I think there are more of us out here than anyone can imagine. It’s really liberating to no longer pretend that the economy is in great shape, and the President is competent. And the next time your co-worker claims that at least He’s not as bad as Bush, remind them that a four percent unemployment and a deficit under a trillion dollars would be a welcome relief right about now.

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Joe Biden, Iraq, Barack Obama Parade Float, George W. Bush Billboard, Winter Storms, Global Warming, John Mayer, Jennifer Garner, David Letterman, and MTV’s Jersey Shore.

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: NewsBusted’s Laugh Track, Groundhog Day, D.C. Blizzard, Nancy Pelosi, Osama Bin Laden, Rahm Emanuel, Joe Biden, President Obama Bows Again, Obama Girl, John Edwards, Teen Pregnancy, and R. Kelly.

The movie completely won me over during an early scene when Scrooge threatens his Muppet office workers if they dare to be cold. Instantly they put on a Hawaiian luau setting the irreverent and witty tone that will carry the remaining 85 minutes. 

This is also a perfect holiday film for small kids. Above-average songs, a faithfulness to the source material, a lot of heart, and an important lesson about the difference between Democrats and Republicans.

When we first meet Scrooge he’s a cold-hearted liberal. Like Barack Obama and Joe Biden he doesn’t give to private charity. He chooses instead to condemn the fate of the poor to a cold, dispassionate government — work houses, poor houses…

After his three ghostly visits, Scrooge sees the light and evolves into a compassionate conservative — someone who realizes the government only perpetuates poverty and that true humanity doesn’t mean requesting more government but in using private local charities and market solutions to break the cycle of poverty. Scrooge doesn’t demand ObamaCare for Tiny Tim, he saves the small boy’s life by sending him to the best private clinics…

So if you want to keep things interesting this Christmas, be sure to make that point right around dinner time.

When you factor in that Barack Obama is my president, Joe Biden is my vice-president, Nancy Pelosi is next in line, Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer are my senators, Brad Sherman is my congressman, Antonio Villaraigosa is my mayor and Jerry Brown is lurking in the wings to be my governor, do you really think I’ll be turning my pen into a plowshare anytime soon?    

But at least now you might have a better handle on why I look back so fondly on what I have come to regard as the good old days when an American’s major complaint was that he had taxation without representation. 

On top of everything else, I live in Los Angeles and have spent most of my adult life laboring in Hollywood, a place that some people regard as less an actual location than a state of mind.  I agree it is a state of mind in the same sense that paranoia and schizophrenia are states of mind. 

After working in the field of entertainment for about 40 years, I swear to you that there are a fair number of normal, decent human beings who work in the industry.  But truth compels me to say that the lower you go in the pecking order, the likelier you are to find them.  That’s not to say that every producer, actor, director and writer, is an arrogant, leftwing, coke-snorting, bottom-feeding egomaniac, but that’s certainly the way to bet. 

Sometimes, when I’m daydreaming about what Hell must be like, I envision a place where every day you wake up and have to go work for someone like Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, nasty sourpusses who think that their every whim should be immediately pandered to and who regard themselves as God, but with a bigger expense account, a larger staff and a better pension plan. 

In short, Pelosi, Frank and Reid and their congressional cronies, could find true happiness working at a TV network, a movie studio or a theatrical agency.  Perhaps you think I’m making this up, but I’m not.  Liberal politicians are doing their best to shove Obamacare down our throats, pretending it’s manna from Heaven, but you may have noticed that they haven’t the slightest intention of leaving their own medical care up to a lottery system.  And can you really blame them?  Do you think Pelosi wants a bunch of strangers deciding if she can get another dozen face lifts?  You think Robert Byrd wants to leave it up to a death panel to determine if it’s time to put the old Ku Kluxer on an ice floe? 

You could call them hypocrites, but I call them Hollywood hopefuls.  They’d fit right in.  This is the town, after all, where people are still whining over the fact that a handful of mediocre actors and hack writers were blacklisted 60 years ago because they were, for the most part, unrepentant Communists whose allegiance was to the evil Soviet Union.  But these same people think nothing of blacklisting writers and directors who have done nothing worse than made the fatal mistake of turning 50. 

Many years ago, radio wit Fred Allen observed that “You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, stick it in the navel of a flea, and still have room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent’s heart.”  I say he was being too kind.  Although I regard myself as basically a loyal person, I’ve had about two dozen agents in my life.  What’s more, in what was a moderately successful TV writing career, by getting my own jobs, I made money for all of them, except the last one.  Which was just as well because she’s the one who went to the slammer for stealing her clients’ money.

 The reason, by the way, I kept leaving agents wasn’t simply because none of them ever earned his or her 10%, but because eventually they all lied to me about what they would do for me or, worse yet, what they had already done. 

In my experience, agents are people who like to have lunch, shmooze with other agents and con young women into having sex with them.  Those are the male agents, of course.  Female agents, on the other hand, like to have lunch, shmooze with other agents and con young women into having sex with them. 

In other words, if a genie somehow managed to switch everyone in Hollywood with everyone in Congress, you would barely notice it.  In fact, aside from the fact that the paparazzi would all have to pack up and move east and that “Henry Waxman: The Musical!” would finally be green-lighted at Universal, life would go on as usual.

Back in April, Vice President Biden uttered dire warnings about catching Swine Flu in subways and commercial airplanes.  Per the usual pattern, the White House quickly apologized for “Amtrak Joe’s” remarks.  But now, just a few months later, the President also has declared a national emergency.  The H1N1 is spreading, and instead of 120 million expected doses, only 11 million shipped last week. In a few weeks, the vaccine may become widely available, but it hasn’t yet.  Even the Obama children reportedly haven’t received the vaccine (although I hope they get immunized if that’s what their family decides).  

Balboa Park, The United States of America

Personally, I think the Swine Flu hysteria is a bit over-hyped.  But on the other hand, I’d rather not get sick if I can avoid it.  This year is particularly important for my family because my wife is pregnant with identical twins.  That type of pregnancy comes with risks already, and the H1N1 can be rough on expectant mothers.  So, after doing our research, we decided she would get immunized at the first opportunity, which was this past week.  In the process, we saw one possible future outcome of health care “reform” – rationing. 

The H1N1 vaccine made its limited debut this past weekend in Southern California at a few government-chosen distribution centers.  Near us, in Balboa Park in Encino, people lined up on the Friday starting at 3:00 a.m.  By that afternoon, the daily supply had run out.  So, at my wife’s (very strong) recommendation, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. on Saturday and dutifully got in line.  The park was still dark outside when I arrived, with just four people camped out ahead of me in blankets and beach chairs.  As daylight broke, the line grew.  

By 8:00 a.m., the line was across the park and my wife and our little daughter showed up.  My wife and other expectant mothers were hoping for a version of the H1N1 vaccine prepared without the “controversial” preservative Thimerosal.  (There’s a movement that suspects Thimerosal causes autism.  From what I’ve read, there’s no link, but I understand why concerned parents, if given the choice, would rather not risk it.  Anyway, I’m no doctor, so I’ll leave the debate to our distinguished medical specialists (like, uh, John Kerry, Chris Dodd and Robert F. Kennedy Jr.). 

Shortly after 8:00 a.m., word got out that only 60 doses of Thimerosal-free vaccine were available.  That is, just 60 doses for all pregnant women across the entire San Fernando Valley (which has a population of over one million).  Expectant mothers were told to get out of line and head to the back entrance. The park staff were admirable and helpful.  They tried to organize a new line, but there was no formal system and with only 60 spaces available, people were tense.  One lady with a particularly obnoxious and uncouth sense of entitlement got a coveted spot near the front of the new line, but that apparently wasn’t good enough because she went on to berate the busy staff for not making her the very first.  Other women were turned away after waiting for hours, and were told to try again the next day.  Borderline chaos. 

 By 9:00 a.m. when the immunization center finally opened, 60 expectant mothers were queued up.  (If you’re wondering, yes my wife got in because I had lined up so early and managed to convince the staff to include her.)  I was back at the other entrance, waiting with my daughter for the regular vaccine… behind us, nearly a thousand other people were jostling in line.  

This is 2009, in a middle-class L.A. suburb, but it looked like a Soviet Union bread line.  I know long waits for medical treatment are not unknown here.  L.A. emergency rooms are routinely overburdened with uninsured people who use the hospital as a basic clinic.  That is a different brand of chaos, and I don’t pretend to know how to fix it.  But what I do know is that my wife and I work our tails off to have private insurance so we can use a private U.S. health care system that is the envy of the world.  But if the government takes over, that choice will probably disappear.  Pelosi, Obama and Reid (oh my!) are dead set on “reforming” the exceptionalism right out of our system.  They’re still pushing a public option that most Americans don’t want, trying to sneak it past us at midnight in thousand-page bills, or tacked quietly onto unrelated legislation.  The revised drafts and permutations each week are endless and numbing.  And the estimated costs, even though ultimately unknowable, are already staggering.  

The Ruling Party’s current brand of health care “reform” is just the latest illness coming out of D.C.  Forget the Bird Flu and Swine Flu, we first have to shake the Pork Flu.  Leaders (from both parties) continue to siphon billions into pork-barrel earmarks.  This past year, they rushed to pass the largest stimulus spending package in history.  Even if massive spending and debt were the cure for what ails us (?), most of the money hasn’t even been spent into our economy yet, and a second stimulus package is already being discussed.  (Expect to see the stimulus money poured into the economy just before the next election cycles.)  On top of the Pork Flu, we’ve been hit with more than 30 cases of CZARS, as well as waves of “Botch-ulism” (botched bank bailouts, a botched Gitmo strategy, botched treatment of our allies and enemies abroad…).  America has a fever (although maybe not the kind Al Gore warned of), but the cure is looking worse than the disease.  Forget one flu vaccine, what will happen when we are stuck with socialized medicine for 330 million people?  Medical treatment will be rationed out under cheerless and impenetrable bureaucratic rules.  People with the means to afford treatment will be denied it for other reasons, such as they are elderly and have outlived their social usefulness. 

Need cancer treatment?  Take a pain pill.  

Dennis Miller has joked, in all seriousness, that Government-run health care will resemble “the DMV with wounds.”  Well, on Saturday I caught a glimpse of future chaos and it is deeply unsettling.  With some legitimately needy people lacking health care, pockets of our system do need repair.  But we have an entire toolbox at our disposal, not just a sledgehammer.  All I’m saying is, let’s slow down a bit and think this over.  Have a REAL dialogue and debate.  And while we’re at it, keep riding on the subways and airlines – they employ hardworking people.