Behold GM’s official dance routine performed at the LA Auto Show – set to the song “Chevy Volt and Me.”

I’d fetch a bucket.

—–

So there you have it: the official car for fragile flowers, those Narnian fauns conceived at the Lilith Faire, who steer with tiny hooves, listening to Dido, desperately clutching a worn copy of Deepak Chopra’s latest caftan caper.

Sure, the “car” is tiny – but there’s enough room for the yoga mat, a bag of Craisins and a papermache sculpture of the tree nymph you did at the Learning Annex (it helped you get over the hypnotherapist who dumped you).

I kid – that’s not the type of person driving a Volt – because they can’t afford this sanctimonious sardine can.

Yep, this EZ bake oven on wheels cost 40 grand. That’s a price that, writes Charles Lane in Slate, only folks making more than $200,000 a year would consider.

Lane quotes a report, saying buyers “will be concentrated in Southern California,” and will be ” popularized by high-profile celebrities.” Meaning, the only people buying it will be Janeane Garofalo, and or someone resembling Janeane Garofalo.

God we’re soft.

And this is what happens in a nanny state run by a government who thinks they know you better, than you know yourself. They want you to buy something no one wants, at a price few can afford.They’re telling you what you “ought” to drive, as opposed to should. Or want.

This is what I drive.

It’s a Facel Vega HK500.

When I got it, it was about the same price as a volt -

But it’s got no seatbelts, eats gas and killed Albert Camus.

Those were the good old days.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe who drives a fur-line Hummer that runs on pelican blood.

Tonight we’ve got:

Gerri WIllis!

Larry Galtlin!

Ellis Henican!

and Shark Week host Terry Schappert! (he’s gunna talk about summer party salad recipes…nah…he’s gunna talk about sharks!)

In my opinion, the story of Shirley Sherrod isn’t about racism, but accusations of racism. If someone says they aren’t racist, and minus physical evidence to the contrary, you should take them at their word.

Spencer “call them racists” Ackerman

Unfortunately, we’ve seen that this never happens. And so when you accuse an entire group of racism, like the Tea Party – what you get is rage and frustration.

It’s exactly what that d-bag, from that private leftwing group Journolist, said.

If you remember, Spencer Ackerman wrote:

Instead, take one of them – Fred Barnes, Karl Rove, who cares – and call them racists…This makes *them* sputter with rage, which in turn leads to overreaction and self-destruction.

Yep, he’s a toolbag, but he’s on the money. He knew that if you falsely accuse someone of racism – they explode. And to him – and the media – it rarely matters if that rage is righteous. Because all they want is an angry mob.

And that’s how the race-baiting left works. The Tea Party began as a group of average folks stepping out of their living rooms for the first time. Virgins. And what happened? Chuckleheads at MSNBC pointed out how white they are, Janeane Garafalo painted them as Aryan offshoots, and then the NAACP drafted a silly resolution.

And that’s when Breitbart got involved. Love him or hate him, you gotta admit: his stones are so big they have their own gravitational pull. And he may be the most aggressive fighter on the right that we’ve ever seen.

That can be awesome, and it can be messy. But the fact remains: the left hates him because he’s effective, and his effectiveness shows the rest of us how and why the left has been so successful.

The left has always fought dirty – taking stuff conservatives have said out of context – and always on purpose. See the turds at Media Matters. They perfected the sleaze.

On more than a few occasions the happy warrior Breitbart focused a spotlight on the destructiveness of leftism. ACORN. The NEA. The census. Don’t forget that, when they come to eat him alive.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe who listens to country music while eating whale meat in a gun club.

Tonight:

-the return of Skunk Baxter! (have any questions about missiles, or music? send em here!)

-Joe Escalante, from the legendary Vandals!

-Kinsey Schofield!

and other wondrous crud

—–

CMI:

During the interview, Garofalo also expressed disappointment in President Obama. “It’s a drag that he’s such a conservative,” she lamented. 

Garofalo’s made her disdain for religion clear in the past. During a June 16 appearance on “The Joy Behar Show” on Headline News, she called prayer “anti-intellectual.” Behar later defended Garofalo on ABC’s “The View,” saying the comedian should have said prayer was “un-intellectual.” 

Garofalo has also built a long resume of attacking conservatives. She has compared the GOP to neo-Nazis and called Tea Party protestors “functionally retarded,” and “racist backward motherf***ers.” She has called the stable of Fox News anchors and hosts, as well as conservative talk radio hosts, liars.

Read full post here.

There I said it. I feel better already. It’s time to fess up that it isn’t about our beliefs or principles, or morality or the Constitution.  It’s all about race. We conservatives have feigned our approval of Michael Steele, Condi Rice, Clarence Thomas, Walter Williams, Thomas Sowell, Larry Elder and a host of other Black conservatives for far too long.  We reject Ward Connerly, Niger Innis, Shelby Steele, Armstrong Williams and Kenneth Blackwell. Who needs them!

The leftist are correct:

If Obama were a white guy we would all be in favor of a government takeover of our health care system and happy to stand in the government line and take whatever medical care the left deemed sufficient to dole out to us. We would favor “Cap and Trade” and be happy to kick in a bunch more dough for our heating oil to keep our kids warm in the winter. We would believe in global warming and wouldn’t mind that Al Gore has made more money off of carbon than all the coal mines in West Virginia.

If Obama were a white guy we would be in favor of turning our Constitution over to the United Nations; love it when our President bows to the King of Saudi Arabia and makes nice with minor dictators like Castro and Chavez; be in favor of the government takeover of GM and regulating private sector pay checks; happy to walk away from the war on terror; support getting the Gitmo detainees into this country and making all illegal aliens citizens tomorrow…

If Obama were a white guy we would even be happy to quote from the Little Red Book.

She is already on record as believing that anyone who does not worship at the Church of Radical Leftism is a “straight up racist.” Beside not understanding the English translation of her argot “straight up,” I am sure that anyone who is even a little bit clear headed can imagine a world where people who thought Condi was dandy and helped Michael Steele get to the helm of the GOP might not take race as the deciding factor with Obama. Be that as it may, Ms. Garofalo assured us that not only were right-wingers racists, but the GOP has been the bastion of White Supremacy since the 1950’s.

Keeping in mind one of the favorite saying of my friend Larry Elder, “Facts are like kryptonite to toe-tag liberals.” (Mr. Elder defines liberals as “toe-tag” if they believe in government intrusion in our lives from birth until they put the tag on your toe in the morgue.) I will present a few facts to try to bring Janeane back into the real world.

***

President Eisenhower backed and signed the first two pieces of significant civil rights legislation in America in 1956 and 1960. He also appointed Republican judges in the south who moved Brown vs. The Board of Education to the Supreme Court. President Eisenhower was… say it with me… A Republican.

The landmark 1964 Civil Rights Act was back by 82% of Republicans in Congress while only 62 % of Democrats supported the measure. Opposition to the bill was led by Robert Byrd… Democrat! These other well know Senators also voted against the bill: Albert Gore Sr., William Fulbright, Richard Russell, and James Eastland–all Democrats! Two other well know historical figures were prominent in the segregation movement: George Wallace and Orval Faubus, both tried to block black students from attending “white” schools, both were Democrats. It is also interesting to note that both Faubus and Fulbright were counted as mentors by… anyone? William J. Clinton, who I believe was also a Democrat.

***

David Letterman is a total scumbag, who would have thought it! Seems Dave has been having sex with the help over at CBS. I wonder if CBS will make him sit through some sensitivity training on sexual harassment. Here is another surprise, Dave is just another progressive who talks one game and plays another. I am glad to see he has some morality, when a guy who knew what he was up to tried to blackmail him he drew a line in the sand. At least we know what he really cares about–his money.

Whoopi Goldberg also gave us a lesson in Hollywood morality last week when she defended pedophile and child pornographer Roman Polanski: “It wasn’t rape-rape,” she said on The View commenting about the capture of the Polish film director. Seems thinks its okay to: A) Drug a 13-year-old and then have sex with her, and B) After you’re convicted, skip bail and flaunt your lifestyle in Europe.

What’s more, he wants to return to the US for the same reason David Letterman fessed up: America is where the money is and Polanski wants more that he can make in socialist Europe. He has been trying to get his conviction overturned and recently had one of his lawyers claim that even the LA court didn’t care that he had skipped. Wrong!

Bigwig producer Harvey Weinstein put out a petition to support Mr. Polanski which was signed by moral pillar Woody Allen. Maybe he is trying to get O.J., Robert Blake and Phil Spector to sign too!

***

Finally, a last word about Congressman Joe Wilson. In case you have been in a coma for the last month, Wilson yelled “you lie!” at the President during a speech to a joint session of Congress. Congressman Wilson apologized, as he should have, more than a few times for being rude and breaking the decorum of the House. A lot of folks got on him for being uncivil, but I don’t think anyone said he was wrong. In fact, last week Democrats blocked language which would have codified the pledge by Obama that his health care plan would not be open to illegals. Things that make you go Hummmmm…

A woman named Susan Boyle walked onto a stage in a British singing competition. A 47 year old woman who lives with a cat, she drew derisive laughter from the moment people saw her. To describe her as “frumpy” would be generous. People looked at her and thought that she was “ghastly.”

Competitions like the one she was in are for beautiful people. Frumpy people need not apply, and ghastly people should not even be outside. After all, how could society possibly survive if anything other than A-List celebrities were allowed in our living rooms?

Then she began to sing. She chose the song “I Dreamed a Dream” from “Les Miserables.” From the moment the audience heard her voice, they began cheering wildly. There is beauty, and then there is sheer gorgeousness. This was one of the all time stunningly beautiful vocal performances. If she does get to sing for the Queen, there will be two queens in the room.

Some of the most ruthless men sat in judgment of Ms. Boyle. They could not stop cheering. “Celebrity Apprentice” and British hard@ss Piers Morgan did more than praise her. He has now offered to be her first kiss. Simon Cowell, master of the acid tongue and “Cowell scowl,” was nearly in tears. These tough as nails men loved her.

If Susan Boyle’s sudden fame does not represent the best aspect of this world, then I do not know what does. Her triumph is a victory for every everywoman and every everyman that has ever been kicked around by life for being too fat, too short, too bald, too old, too young, too poor, or too little.

The best part of this is that she was not given sympathy or charity. She entered a difficult and sometimes vicious industry and conquered it solely based on merit. She did not deserve ridicule because her outward physical appearance is not what much of society categorizes as beautiful. She did deserve accolades because her singing voice is a talent that she honed to absolute perfection.

She would not be denied. She would not take no for an answer. She brought a crowd to their collective feet and showed them what true beauty is about. The world has heard her sing, and she will be in the hearts of many people forever.

Yet in all of this celebration, there is one downside. Her victory is a trip to Hollywood, where she will be around people that are the polar opposite of what she represents. She will be surrounded by narcissistic, spoiled brats that possess good looks and disgusting hearts. One of the ugliest hearts she will encounter, if she is truly unfortunate, will be that belonging to actress and bigot Janeane Garofalo.

Janeane Garofalo is a leftist comedian, which is a fancy way of saying that she is a hateful human being. One could dismiss her as another typical Hollywood imbecile, but that would be unfair to the typical bimbos, who are not as dreadful as she is.

As difficult as it is to concede, she is not a physically ugly woman. She is pretty enough to succeed in the entertainment industry, where looks are essential to success. “Ugly Betty” is fiction. The actual actress would not be allowed near a television script if she looked like that in real life. Janeane Garofalo has looks.

She has nothing else. She has no heart, no soul, and no decency. I know this because she repeatedly tells me so. Yet even by Garofalo standards, she has finally crossed the line.

She referred to the people attending various tea parties around the country as racist rednecks. She called us bigots. She made it clear that these tea parties were specifically a way of trying to strike back at a black President.

This is as disgusting as it is wrong. To quote Sir Charles of Krauthammer, “she is as angry as she is clueless.”

Once again, racial bomb-throwing is coming from the left. Conservatives cannot be a noble opposition. They have to be evil. They must have sinister motives. After all, we know what we see when we look at Barack Obama.

What we see is a typical liberal Democrat. Barack Obama was historic. He is now boring, bland, and typical. That is what equality is all about. He is being treated as any other politician would be treated by people who disagree with him.

Unless of course the protesters are on the left and the President is a conservative. When George W. Bush was President, signs comparing him to Adolf Hitler were common. He was called a Nazi, a Fascist, and every other disgusting name in the book. Were these leftist protesters ostracized? Of course not. They were given free subscriptions to the Jayson Blair Times. They were glorified by the Axis of Anti-Semitism, that being the Huffington Post, Moveon.org, and the Daily Kossacks. The Code Pinkos called the President a war criminal.

So what did the people at the tea parties do that had Janeane Garofolo’s panties tied up in leftist bunched knots?

They dissented. You know, dissent, which was patriotic until January of 2009. There were no riots. There were no scuffles with police. Yes, some of the people were angry, but many of them smiled and waved American flags. Some of these rallies were love-ins. They were like Woodstock, except the people were not drug loving dregs of society. These “protesters” were productive citizens tired of being leeched on.

Janeane Garofalo could not just disagree with the tea party attendees. She had to call them racists. She had to smear them. She could not accept them as legitimate opposition, because then she would have to acknowledge that their views, even if she disagreed, have merit.

The solution is for everyday Americans to reject her. Now liberals will fail to do this, because they simply enjoy spreading hatred and intolerance while accusing conservatives of being hateful and intolerant.

Janeane Garofalo was not insulting George W. Bush or Dick Cheney on this occasion. She was assaulting you. She was assaulting me. She made it clear that attendees at the tea parties were racists.

I attended a tea party. I am no racist. What I am is a man who works hard, earns an honest paycheck, and is tired of paying higher and higher taxes so that others can freeload. I am even more tired of millionaire liberal Hollywood imbeciles telling me I need to give more.

(For my own truly bizarre coverage of the tea parties see here and here.)

Ms. Garofalo needs a muzzle. After all, once she puts on her muzzle, or her feedbag, or whatever a horse’s @ss connected to the rest of an equine creature has, she can then begin her training for the Kentucky Derby. She will most likely be joined by John Kerry, Hillary Clinton (the Bobtail Nag), and other creatures that are better seen and not heard.

Society will be better off when we look at Susan Boyle and remain riveted to our televisions.

All the plainness of her first 47 years cannot hide her beauty.

All the fame, fortune, and adulation cannot alter the 45 years of ugliness that is Janeane Garofalo.

Good luck in Hollywood Ms. Boyle, and be careful. You are too beautiful and lovely a woman to be subjected to such ugliness.

Oh, and watch your back, especially if your politics are as conservative as your manners. You might end up like the rest of decent society, and find yourself Garofaloed.

eric aka the Tygrrrr Express

blacktygrrrr@earthlink.net

http://www.tygrrrrexpress.com

Mental disorders don’t come to Hollywood they’re cultured there. It all takes place inside the social interaction of petri dishes disguised as auditions, lunches, movie sets, movie premieres and fund raisers.

After ample time is spent cultivating inside these infected petri dishes, subjects unknowingly begin to show signs of “Hollywood Political Mental Disorder,” or HPMD. The frustrating thing about HPMD is that the cure is so close the subjects can’t see it.

Most subjects come to Hollywood healthy and open minded only to have the openness of their mind infected by simplistic antidotes that can be swallowed but never digested by the human spirit because they lack logic and reason.

HPMD takes hold

After settling into town, subjects are given the dialogue of second-hand-word-of-mouth politics. A dialogue which can be believed only if accompanied by free booze from parties the subjects are directed to attend. If subjects forget their lines, Hollywood snake oil salesmen will remind them what to say every time they turn on the TV or stroll past a magazine rack full of Obama Porn.

In the early stages of infection subjects remain pretty on the outside but are only able to parrot what the last person said to them about what it is they’re supposed to know about the world. On the inside, subjects must lose all rational censure so as to remain part of the group’s mutual incomprehension as to why everyone else is not like them.

Sufferers of HPMD gradually become cruel to all those outside their group. The reason for this behavior, they will tell you, is in the name of “making the world a better place for everyone.” (Except for those cured of HPMD or those who’ve never been infected.) HPMD is not new to Hollywood. Modern subjects can be found clinging to peace and love from the 1960’s in the form of hope and change while pimping it across the globe like Facebook heroin.

HPMD gets a face

With the recent introduction of President Obama into the infection, subjects are given the ability to actually worship a political pop idol. With this addition, subjects become advanced carriers of HPMD and are unable to deconstruct their idols domestic agenda. An agenda set to level the playing field of their lives to that of a vast wasteland of cultural diversity where people are forced to search out opposing races for tea at noon, so as to not look cowardly. A three minute and thirty second You Tube Iranian foreign policy encapsulates their pop idol president’s agenda. The subjects buy into it because they feel good when reaching out to psychos. They adore the fact that he’s done the same drugs they’re currently on, and are subconsciously comforted by the fact that they voted for what they see him as most, a black man.

A more sinister way of infecting HPMD to subjects

Served up hundreds of times a week in tipsy town, HPMD also takes hold inside “recovery meetings.” Meetings where subjects with a still gelatinous brain in the shape of an apple martini are served bad coffee alongside a stale plate of victimhood mentality, of which can only be digested by one sort of mind, a soft one that leans to the left. The soft brain of the subject, now victim, goes on to become caught up in the self-creation of its own drama and driven to a level of self-importance that leads them to want to heal their past through healing the world. Once HPMD takes hold of subjects in recovery rooms they become willing to go to any length to get better so long as they don’t have to rise above the group.

What to do in the face of HPMD

It’s difficult to know what to do with subjects suffering from HPMD when one comes across a gaggle of them, or even just one. Field test by conservatives have found the best way of treating people with HPMD is to treat them like sick friends.

Example: If you went to the hospital to see a sick friend and they threw up on you, you wouldn’t yell at them. You’d show compassion, hand them a fresh towel and leave them to rest.

Libertarian field tests show they can sometimes be defused by agreeing with them on one of their rabid topics, then blinding swiping them with the antidote of logic and reason. This is best attempted in the morning before the subjects brain is given a feeding at the liberal troth of “The Daily Show,” The New York Times, MSNBC, NPR, and current White House press briefings. Yet research shows that even these advanced carriers HPMD are not the most extreme.

HPMD as profit

Full blow carriers of advanced HPMD like Bill Maher and Janeane Garofalo will find they can make a healthy living speaking with venom and hatefulness towards those who have used the cure of logic and reason to escape the disorder.

Precautions in closing

When one comes across one of these hateful subjects suffering from HPMD give no response and hand them a fresh towel after the outburst, leave the scene, calmly walking away with a smile before their next regurgitation. You won’t want to have to keep cleaning up after their mental barf.