In loving memory of Andrew’s youth, here we go…
Ok, so we’re late to the party. What are you going to do, set up a perimeter? This is the show I love, then love to hate, then actually hate, then come back to to see how much Kiefer’s drinking has wrinkled his face, because I also like to drink. Every year, it seems that Jack Bauer, the most bad-ass little man since Wolverine had his chest waxed and grew 8 inches into Hugh Grant, makes choices that put those he loves just slightly ahead of national security. Everyone else who does this pays for it dearly, often with the perp walk….but not Jack… SO FAR this season, Jack was compelled to come back from lovely Africa to face a Senate hearing about his…methods of interrogation. CTU is no more (which is good, as it was the single most penetrable security organization in the United States), but when the FBI comes calling for Jack’s help, it isn’t long before the old gang gets back together.

First we find Tony Almeda, whom we like to call Schlumpy, for his round-shouldered sensitivity. He’s rockin’ a goatee, still has amazing hair, and is apparently one of the bad guys…EXCEPT HE ISN’T ANYMORE! Schlumpy is back with the angels, in the form of modern dance versions of Old Man Buchanan and The Scowl (Chloe). The three of them are trying to save the world from super-secret evil that has infiltrated the U.S. Government, all paid for with African diamonds, which really helps in a recession. It’s a hard job for 3 people…but now they have a 4th, and his name, is Jack Bauer.
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