REVIEW: The Beautiful & Moronic ‘Avatar’

I think every guy has done it at least once. Sure it’s shallow and in retrospect, we’re probably quite embarrassed. I know that every single one of us has  dated a girl that is out of our intellectual depth; but we didn’t care, because she was so breathtakingly gorgeous. They say love is blind, but when it’s not, it can be incredibly stupid.

That’s what I thought of when I was sitting through Avatar. I don’t think there has ever been a dumber picture made. The plot is fairly easy to figure out, only slightly more complicated than a Scooby Doo episode. Once again American corporations are paving over paradise, all in the name of the bottom line. I’m sure that even children are going to know where it’s going within the first fifteen minutes.

Yet despite its overwhelming simplicity, it was hard not to be smitten, because it’s so aesthetically fantastic. The world of Pandora looks like a Rain Forest Café that was turned into a salt water aquarium. It is full of fiberglass animals, mossy trees, anemone and glowing jelly fish.

Everything on Pandora glows in the dark, even those ten-foot half naked blue people. I’m sure that no one will notice that the naked savages were played by African and Native Americans, since the film’s message is so politically correct. It has long been a tradition in Hollywood to let people of color appear naked in films, even after the Hayes code was passed. (more…)