He was really concerned that with President Barack Obama’s dismal approval ratings the Republican primaries would become a winner-take-all contest, with the popular Christie making it all the way to the White House.

Louis believes that political satire is the finest form of the comedic arts, and he has seen it die twice over the last two decades. When the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal broke, every hack in America became a political comic just by appending Bill Clinton to their favorite oral sex gag. As we moved into the new millennium, comics who specialized in blonde jokes could call themselves political just by substituting President George W. Bush into the punchline.

With this new administration, political humor became very tricky, and only a few comics will attempt to make fun of the President. Heck, even the guys who did those “What if a Brother ever got into the White House?” routines were forced to write some original material or abandon the political arena altogether. Louis believes that the political edge of his club is part of what has kept him afloat three years into a recession.

But with the buzz surrounding Christie, there was suddenly a resurgence in hack political comedy. Late night hosts, who have been incapable of finding anything funny about a pair of big ears for the past three years, have stumbled on a new way to market fat-based humor.

This week, David Letterman speculated that Cristie was the only candidate you could view from space (gosh, Dave, no; “when he’d sit around the White House, he’d sit AROUND the White House” … or, “New Jersey would lose a zip code”).

For full disclosure, I have been guilty of the occasional fat reference. Usually though, it’s directed at Michael Moore, who happens to be the world’s fattest Communist (and takes more than his “fair share” of the pie, whether it be economic or boysenberry). I lamely excuse these jokes because the underlying theme is hypocrisy — the same reason why others might make fun of gay Republicans or Al Gore’s private jet.

So what will the comics do now they won’t have Christie to make fun of? Letterman took off running with the “Rick Perry’s Racist Ranch” angle; it seems that a painted rock at a hunting camp is enough to make him the token racist of this election cycle. Fortunately, there are a total of fourteen other Republican candidates to choose from, including a couple that will even allow jokes about race and gender (though oddly enough, racism and sexism are only derogatory when the candidate is a Democrat).

Personally, I think America is ready for a fat President. I’m tired of seeing Presidents jogging (shirtless leaders are so Eastern European). After three years of being told by Michelle Obama that we shouldn’t be eating like the First Family, I’d love to have a President who has more important things in mind than his daily carb count. We’re in a depression; who really cares about the President’s health?

Heck, that’s why we have a Vice President — to allow the President a vice.

L'homme s'accroche amèrement.

Yet since Obama’s election, their aim has tilted right. While they revisited the nonpartisan issue of censorship over fear of jihadist violence in their 200th episode, the only overtly political targets of the past two seasons have been Glenn Beck in “Dances with Smurfs” and the Tea Party in last week’s episode, “TMI.” In “Smurfs,” Cartman starts to do the school’s morning announcements, quickly transforming into a conspiratorial nut who accuses the school president of murdering the titular cartoon characters. Now, Glenn Beck’s TV show is certainly ripe for parody (not a fan myself), but the episode plays as though Parker & Stone have only seen second-hand accounts of the program (which they’ve admitted regarding other episodes’ source material), and the satire, because it’s only mocking a straw man version of Beck, lacks the bite of their previous work.

In the same way, on “TMI” (spoilers ahead), South Park rips on the Tea Party– which, again, could be a source of truly funny jokes, even mean-spirited ones– with recycled second-hand stereotypes.  Cartman’s principal sends him to a counselor when he measures his and his classmates’ penis sizes. Eventually, the counselor recommends an anger management session, wherein a Tea Party member complains about “stupid-ass blind liberals” while wearing tea bags draped over a tri-corner hat. The counselor quickly surmises that all the anger management attendees act out because of insecurity over their penis sizes.

This first meeting isn’t actually that annoying yet, as the Tea Partier is just one of many mocked characters. However, when staple character Randy Marsh gets sent to anger management, he begins to parrot the Tea Party complaints about big government and socialism (which is uncharacteristic of Randy– historically, he’s been rather liberal) and starts a riot. In an attempt to stick it to the federal government, all the characters in the meeting attack Federal Express, American Apparel, and other private businesses that seem nominally connected to the feds. In a hostage situation, the Tea Party character pipes up that he demands to see “Obama’s real birth certificate.”

From that summary, one might assume that I didn’t find the episode funny, which is false. No matter what the setup is, when the punchline is Cartman or Randy flipping out, South Park remains one of the best comedies on television. “TMI” is an episode full of great gags and outrageous performances, but I can’t help but be disillusioned at how safe and politically correct the jokes about the Tea Party are. Since its inception, comedians have picked on the Tea Party with virtually identical insults. “Hey, look at those silly costumes!” “They’re angry white men sublimating their insecurities!” “Crazy birthers, every one of them!” There’s a word for comedians who just repackage other people’s jokes:  hacks. And I have a hard time defending Matt and Trey when I think about whether that charge can apply to their Beck/Tea Party jokes.

I have no beef with South Park making fun of what I believe; “Goobacks” and “Christian Rock Hard” are two examples of standout episodes that mock Christians and anti-illegal immigration sentiments. They work far better than “TMI” and “Smurfs” because they send up the actual follies of those ideas; they don’t just rinse and repeat straw men representations of the satire’s subject. Also, they weren’t just piling on ridicule for a much-maligned object. Whereas South Park is best known for being politically incorrect and unabashedly skewering that which no one else dare touch with a ten-foot pole, attacking Beck and the Tea Party when everyone else is already doing just that places the show in the back of the herd. It takes courage to stick your neck out against someone powerful and popular, but it doesn’t to be the last guy in line kicking some kid on the ground. Hopefully, Parker & Stone will turn things around soon, because this could be the point where South Park loses its edge– and therefore its appeal.

This article was originally posted at the Landmark Report.

The comedian is Ross Bennett. Do you think he’s telling the truth, that Obama supporters are so intolerant they give the entertainer grief over any hit The One takes? I think so. I think people understand the power of mockery, the power it has to undermine a public figure. They’ve understood it since the mid-70s when Chevy Chase turned the otherwise athletic Gerald Ford into a klutz. Did this narrative hurt Ford’s chances against Jimmy Carter? It certainly didn’t help.

No one, however, understands this power better than the entertainers, which is why most of them are reluctant to go after Obama in any way that might leave a mark. Look no further than “Saturday Night Live” and their intentionally awful Obama impersonator. They’ve obviously chosen to sacrifice laughs for fear of laying a glove on their guy.  When it comes to Palin, Bush, or any Republican, however, the gloves come completely off. The whole idea is to do damage, is to diminish and dehumanize their political enemies into a punchline.

The media, of course, is a willing participant in this plan. Under the guise of “let’s close with a humorous moment,” they use these skits to further their own anti-Republican agenda. How often did the MSM replay Tina Fey savaging Palin? Over and over and over again — until it started to take. The MSM (and site’s like Mediaite and Politico who viralize these videos online) are far from dumb, they know exactly what they’re doing — and by using SNL and others like them, they can amplify this material and make it part of the narrative, all while washing their hands of the character assassination. This would be perfectly fine if the playing field was anything close to level. But it’s not. So go to hell if you’re about to ask me to take a joke.

The comedic class knows exactly what they’re doing, which is why they’re not about to create anything that might hit too close to Obama’s many personal and governing flaws (teleprompter, anyone?). They know a devastating piece of humor might go viral in the alternative media and create the kind of narrative that could hurt their guy.

Furthermore, you also never see viralized on Mediaite or anywhere in the MSM the kind of right-of-center political satire Greg Gutfeld does so well on a nightly basis at “Red Eye.” So the MSM is picking and choosing “what” qualifies as “satire” and it’s always their guys Maher, Stewart, Colbert, and SNL.

Video is via Fox Nation.

Take 4 – An Actor Sees no Limits

The odds against success or even a steady job for an actor are astronomical.  My time consisted of actively looking for and or trying to weasel my way into any acting job I could.

For example, every Thursday I would purchase Backstage, the want ads for actors.  I would then send my picture and resume out to every single ad in it, even the ones that were long shots.  I would show up unannounced at every audition I saw advertised in it, no matter what the part called for.  I once showed up to an open casting call that requested the following:

Dramatic Lead Wanted: Late 30s early 40s African-American female wanted to play the lead role of Jessie Jackson’s illegitimate daughter.  A woman fighting for social justice in a world gone bad in post-apocalyptic Washington D.C. on the eve of Kwanzaa.

I was a bit intimidated while standing in line at this audition with the other actors, because it was clear to me that they had acquired the play beforehand, and I would have to go into the audition cold.  However, as if I were re-taking my SAT’s, I did manage to cheat a few glimpses of the material off my fellow thespians to discover what I was up against.  I took it in, prepared myself, and waited to be called.

Upon my entrance, I was greeted by four African-Americans, one male and three females.  The three females sported haircuts that looked as if their next appointment would be a spot on Jerry Springer (I say this because shaping an afro into a mullet is a major feat.).  The ladies’ heads also displayed many gold rings, some of which hung from their noses and others from their brows.

As I stepped into the stage light, gravity pulled the jaw of each of these theatrical judges to the floor as they took on the form of a cement wall slowly drying in the Serengeti sun.  The male of the group, who was the writer and director of this production, asked flatly, as if I were a lost stagehand, “Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m here for the part of Sashera.”

The director thought for a moment and then took on a polite air of political correctness, “I’m sorry that character is forty years old.”

“I realize that, and I can play older.”

“Sashera is a woman’s part,” he shot back less democratically.

I was not needy, just firm on my ambition, and quick with my reply. “Correct, and if you were to look back at the history of the theatre you would see that at one time men and men only, played all the parts, including the female ones.”

Their blank stares became firm as the cementing of the moment set in.  All political correctness was quickly forgotten as the director’s daggered words flew my way. “Are you fucking insane?”

“Well sir, it’s a fine line between genius and madness — Einstein, Derek Jeter, Napoleon, Rudolph Giuliani and Hillary Clinton to name a few, who may be teetering on the fence of either brilliant creation or madness.  By no means do I assume to project myself into that group,” I announced in a very Shakespearean tone.

He took a deep breath, or it may have been a disgusted sigh.  “This role calls for a forty-something woman who is also a black lesbian struggling to right the wrongs that a white society has inflicted upon her for whom she is.”

“Excellent!  I’m up for it.”  He then, in what I believe to have been a subconscious search for wax in reference to me, stuck his finger in his ear, gave it swipe and yelled, “Are you deaf?  This part is for a black woman!”  The last two words — black woman — were clearly shouted at me.

I paused and did my best to inflict a bit of soft bigotry upon myself in the hopes of winning him over “Yes,” I said, “and if my parents had not been so close-minded my genetic culture may have been more diverse.  On the other hand, I am doing my best to right the wrongs of my parents. My girlfriend is half Filipino, and we’re planning on children someday.  So, with the advancement of special effects and makeup, I feel I can overcome my unfortunate Nordic facial structure, the unsightly color of my skin, my colloquial speech and the disgusting privileged advancement that I have obviously received since birth in today’s society to go on and take the stage in this most challenging of roles.”

I’m not sure what else was said because at that point the three females began to scream and yell in what can only be described as a loud heavy bass, similar to that which comes bellowing from the rear of Cadillac SUV s in urban areas.  I was exited stage left by two large black men that I believe also had rap CD’s out documenting the very struggles they’ve had to endure because of whitey.

As you can see, discrimination is pervasive, even in the theater.

Maybe it’s the “bombs bursting” in the Star Spangled Banner, or the evening fireworks, or simply that the smell of barbeque in the afternoon reminds me of napalm (actually, it’s either victory, or lighter fluid).

—–

So when the wiener hits the grill, I’m hankering for some Heartbreak Ridge.  I’m weak-kneed for a little Where Eagles Dare.  I’m jonesing for a piece o’ that… Johnny Tremain.  (You try and find a good war movie that starts with a “J.”)

Most of all, I pine for Patton.  Few celluloid moments can top that iconic opening scene for patriotic bliss.  First off, you’ve got that humongous American flag backdrop.  And you’ve got the general himself in full fruit-salad regalia, delivering the greatest pep talk since Henry V’s St. Crispin’s Day speech.

The script, co-written by Francis Ford Coppola, is endlessly quotable.  “No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country.  He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”  “Rommel, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!”

And a personal favorite, which Patton cribbed from the French Revolution:  “L’audace, l’audace, toujours l’audace!“  Try saying that next time the wife nags you to get off the couch.

The movie is thick with ironies, not the least of which is that it was intended as an anti-war film.  Patton (the movie and the man) is a true American original, a human Rorschach test.

Liberals see in him a dangerous blow-hard who should be locked up; everybody else just wishes he were alive today and commanding in Afghanistan.  (And then on to Russia!)

Chinese premier Zhou Enlai studied Patton to learn about America’s character before his historic meeting with Richard Nixon.  I like to think that when the commie bastard realized what he was up against, he crapped his Mao suit.

Striving to outdo a rival celebutard at the 2010 Slammy Awards, Flora and Fawna debut a radical new eco-trend: The Booty Blast Blocker which traps CO2 emissions of a decidedly personal kind.  But the ass-blast trapping trend backfires in ways the girls may never be able to live down.

—–

Note:  This is the original webisode we created which features pretty crude animation.  After seeing this, Asian power house, Cutting Edge Productions, agreed to lend a hand by animating the webisode, Sput Car, which many of you saw the last couple of weeks here on Big Hollywood. More webisodes yet to come if we can find someone crazy enough to support us.  

To follow our progress, please go to www.floraandfawna.com. There, you’ll be able to buy utterly worthless  Flora & Fawna gear, watch all the episodes and donate money for new webisodes.  Help us make fun of these pseudo-green, self-obsessed Hollywood  celebutards.  

Oh, and check out Fawna’s Facebook page here.

—–

Click above image to play video.

Two more webisodes to come!   Stay tuned for Gasbags Part 1 and Part 2.

Check out our website.

Connect to Fawna on Facebook.

Sign up for Fawna’s tweets: @FloraFawna

Red Eye is hosted by Greg Gutfeld. Greg is so smart he makes Stephen Hawking look like Janet Napolitano at a national security press briefing.

Gutfeld’s sidekick is Bill Schulz. Bill is so funny he could make a femur seem humerus.

And finally, there’s TV’s Andy Levy, a guy so sharp that he blunts the knife in Charlie Sheen’s hand.

Welcome to the world of Red Eye, television’s last best hope for topical late night comedy.

In case you missed it, a report from Mediaite last fall said more people watch Red Eye on FOX at 3 AM than CNN’s prime time show at 8 PM.

“Red Eye averaged 432,000 total viewers and 202,000 in the demo. Let’s deal with the demo first – CNN’s 8pm ET show, hosted by Campbell Brown, averaged 191,000 in the demo. Let’s just let that one sink in – Fox News had more people in the all important A25-54 demographic watching their channel at three in the morning (east coast time) than CNN had for the show that leads off their prime time. This says as much about Fox News as it does about CNN. Wow.”

Wow, indeed. Red Eye goes everywhere late night comedy is supposed to go. A place where few late night comedy shows have dared to tread since a certain inauguration in January of 2009 when Andrew Breitbart wrote:

“In an era of extreme political correctness, when almost everyone is offended by almost everything, and with self-appointed advocacy groups organized to find offense on behalf of almost everyone – offensively, without the majority in the group’s consent – it’s nice to know that there’s a place to go where everyone can be offended almost all of the time.”

Red Eye has a noticeable libertarian streak and according to Wikipedia, Gutfeld, Schulz and Levy are all libertarians. While Wikipedia’s accuracy is questionable, I am absolutely sure that Greg Gutfeld deserves the 2009 award for libertarian quote of the year. During an interview with Reason TV last May, Gutfeld quipped:

“I became a conservative by being around liberals. I became a libertarian by being around conservatives.”

Last week, Greg mentioned that tonight, New Year’s Eve, Red Eye will air a special program at 12:30 am eastern time featuring some of the show’s favorite guests. I’m hoping for a mud wrestling match between S.E. Cupp and Ann Coulter.

I also have a suggestion for a 2010 Red Eye ratings bonanza in eight simple words: Tonight, Red Eye with special guest Charles Krauthammer.

Think of the comedic potential.

In the meantime….

The Nobel Prize Committee announced today that it is awarding the Prize in Medicine to Jimmy Duncan, a senior at Horace Greeley High School in Chappaqua, New York, for getting a 97 on his bio-chem final.

“The Committee felt that Master Duncan has shown great promise with his outstanding grades,” said Dr. Leif Quisling, chairperson of the Nobel Prize Committee.  “It is our fervent hope that this award encourages him to do great things in the future, such as find a cure for cancer.”

The committee was first alerted to Jimmy Duncan when they came across a YouTube clip of Duncan’s class presentation on his career goals.

“We were particularly struck by his unbridled optimism,” said Dr. Quisling. “Duncan closed his passionate talk with these inspiring words:  ’And we can end cancer in our lifetimes if we all work together really, really hard!’  It is exactly those kind of empty platitudes that impress this committee. Far more so than anything so gauche as actual achievement.”

Mr. Duncan was somewhat blase’ about the news.  “I was lying in bed playing a little X-Box before heading off to school when my mom yelled, ‘Jimmy, you’ve got a phone call from Stockholm!’  It was pretty cool, yeah.”

Dr. Quisling acknowledged that the committee was inspired to award prizes prematurely after giving President Barack Obama a Nobel Peace Prize the year before, despite the fact that nominations had been closed only 11 days after he entered office.

“In Barack Obama’s case, we figured that if the American people were willing to hand over the U.S. presidency to someone who hasn’t accomplished much, why not give him the Nobel Peace Prize before he’s done anything, either?” Dr. Quisling said.

As for Jimmy Duncan, 17, he says he’s “psyched” about the Nobel Prize.  “I should be a shoo-in now to get into Harvard,” he said.

“By the way, I’m not going pre-med anymore,” Duncan volunteered.  ”Now that I’ve got the Nobel in Medicine, why bother?  I’ll just invest my prize money in a diversified fund and I never have to work another day in my life.  In fact, I may just skip Harvard and go to a party school.  Arizona State, here I come!”

We contacted Dr. Quisling’s office for a comment on Duncan’s change in plans.  Nobody returned our calls by press time.

Related stories:

UC Berkeley takes cue from Nobel committee, teachers award grades based on students’ hopes, not results