“I‘m glad they didn’t nominate [New Jersey Gov. Chris] Christie,” my friend Louis (whose Acme Comedy Company is about to celebrate twenty years in the business) said. “A lot of comedy clubs will not survive 2012; Christie would put the final nail their coffins.”

He was really concerned that with President Barack Obama’s dismal approval ratings the Republican primaries would become a winner-take-all contest, with the popular Christie making it all the way to the White House.

Louis believes that political satire is the finest form of the comedic arts, and he has seen it die twice over the last two decades. When the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal broke, every hack in America became a political comic just by appending Bill Clinton to their favorite oral sex gag. As we moved into the new millennium, comics who specialized in blonde jokes could call themselves political just by substituting President George W. Bush into the punchline.

With this new administration, political humor became very tricky, and only a few comics will attempt to make fun of the President. Heck, even the guys who did those “What if a Brother ever got into the White House?” routines were forced to write some original material or abandon the political arena altogether. Louis believes that the political edge of his club is part of what has kept him afloat three years into a recession. (more…)

One of the reliable joys in entertainment during the Bush years was knowing that despite the relentless, insipid hate passed off as comedy about our President, every week South Park would serve up truly independent, politically incorrect satire which skewered actual sacred cows. When virtually all players in the film and TV industry were brown nosing Al Gore as though they were born without lungs, Trey Parker and Matt Stone mercilessly mocked him. When Hurrican Katrina was the cause du’jour for leftist hatemongers, fictional 4th graders Kyle and Stan called them out for exploiting the tragedy. And, even early on in the show, the hyperventilating, totalitarian dark side of the green movement and multicultural “tolerance” received scathing send ups.

L'homme s'accroche amèrement.

Yet since Obama’s election, their aim has tilted right. While they revisited the nonpartisan issue of censorship over fear of jihadist violence in their 200th episode, the only overtly political targets of the past two seasons have been Glenn Beck in “Dances with Smurfs” and the Tea Party in last week’s episode, “TMI.” In “Smurfs,” Cartman starts to do the school’s morning announcements, quickly transforming into a conspiratorial nut who accuses the school president of murdering the titular cartoon characters. Now, Glenn Beck’s TV show is certainly ripe for parody (not a fan myself), but the episode plays as though Parker & Stone have only seen second-hand accounts of the program (which they’ve admitted regarding other episodes’ source material), and the satire, because it’s only mocking a straw man version of Beck, lacks the bite of their previous work.

In the same way, on “TMI” (spoilers ahead), South Park rips on the Tea Party– which, again, could be a source of truly funny jokes, even mean-spirited ones– with recycled second-hand stereotypes.  Cartman’s principal sends him to a counselor when he measures his and his classmates’ penis sizes. Eventually, the counselor recommends an anger management session, wherein a Tea Party member complains about “stupid-ass blind liberals” while wearing tea bags draped over a tri-corner hat. The counselor quickly surmises that all the anger management attendees act out because of insecurity over their penis sizes. (more…)

The comedian is Ross Bennett. Do you think he’s telling the truth, that Obama supporters are so intolerant they give the entertainer grief over any hit The One takes? I think so. I think people understand the power of mockery, the power it has to undermine a public figure. They’ve understood it since the mid-70s when Chevy Chase turned the otherwise athletic Gerald Ford into a klutz. Did this narrative hurt Ford’s chances against Jimmy Carter? It certainly didn’t help.

No one, however, understands this power better than the entertainers, which is why most of them are reluctant to go after Obama in any way that might leave a mark. Look no further than “Saturday Night Live” and their intentionally awful Obama impersonator. They’ve obviously chosen to sacrifice laughs for fear of laying a glove on their guy.  When it comes to Palin, Bush, or any Republican, however, the gloves come completely off. The whole idea is to do damage, is to diminish and dehumanize their political enemies into a punchline.

(more…)

Ed. Note: This is second part of a two-part series of excerpts from Joseph Lindsey’s new novel “Life to the Right of Hollywood.” Part one can be found here.

Take 4 – An Actor Sees no Limits

The odds against success or even a steady job for an actor are astronomical.  My time consisted of actively looking for and or trying to weasel my way into any acting job I could.

For example, every Thursday I would purchase Backstage, the want ads for actors.  I would then send my picture and resume out to every single ad in it, even the ones that were long shots.  I would show up unannounced at every audition I saw advertised in it, no matter what the part called for.  I once showed up to an open casting call that requested the following:

Dramatic Lead Wanted: Late 30s early 40s African-American female wanted to play the lead role of Jessie Jackson’s illegitimate daughter.  A woman fighting for social justice in a world gone bad in post-apocalyptic Washington D.C. on the eve of Kwanzaa. (more…)

I don’t know about you, but for me, the Fourth of July goes with war movies — you know, like Al Gore and happy endings.

Maybe it’s the “bombs bursting” in the Star Spangled Banner, or the evening fireworks, or simply that the smell of barbeque in the afternoon reminds me of napalm (actually, it’s either victory, or lighter fluid).

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So when the wiener hits the grill, I’m hankering for some Heartbreak Ridge.  I’m weak-kneed for a little Where Eagles Dare.  I’m jonesing for a piece o’ that… Johnny Tremain.  (You try and find a good war movie that starts with a “J.”)

Most of all, I pine for Patton.  Few celluloid moments can top that iconic opening scene for patriotic bliss.  First off, you’ve got that humongous American flag backdrop.  And you’ve got the general himself in full fruit-salad regalia, delivering the greatest pep talk since Henry V’s St. Crispin’s Day speech. (more…)

WARNING: ‘FLORA & FAWNA’ IS CRUDE (and this is even cruder than the last one)

Striving to outdo a rival celebutard at the 2010 Slammy Awards, Flora and Fawna debut a radical new eco-trend: The Booty Blast Blocker which traps CO2 emissions of a decidedly personal kind.  But the ass-blast trapping trend backfires in ways the girls may never be able to live down.

YouTube FLORA & FAWNA - Gasbags

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(more…)

In “Sput Car – Part 2″  (part 1 is here), Flora and Fawna hit Melrose to test drive the latest eco trend in the hopes of being noticed by A-list celebrities.  Will their attention-getting plans succeed…or will they backfire with ghastly results?

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Click above image to play video.

Two more webisodes to come!   Stay tuned for Gasbags Part 1 and Part 2. (more…)

Since 2008, two friends have urged me to watch Red Eye on the FOX News channel. I finally got around to it one late night in March of 2009. I’ve been hooked ever since.

Red Eye is hosted by Greg Gutfeld. Greg is so smart he makes Stephen Hawking look like Janet Napolitano at a national security press briefing.

Gutfeld’s sidekick is Bill Schulz. Bill is so funny he could make a femur seem humerus.

And finally, there’s TV’s Andy Levy, a guy so sharp that he blunts the knife in Charlie Sheen’s hand.

Welcome to the world of Red Eye, television’s last best hope for topical late night comedy. (more…)

In the meantime….

September 10, 2010

The Nobel Prize Committee announced today that it is awarding the Prize in Medicine to Jimmy Duncan, a senior at Horace Greeley High School in Chappaqua, New York, for getting a 97 on his bio-chem final.

“The Committee felt that Master Duncan has shown great promise with his outstanding grades,” said Dr. Leif Quisling, chairperson of the Nobel Prize Committee.  “It is our fervent hope that this award encourages him to do great things in the future, such as find a cure for cancer.”

The committee was first alerted to Jimmy Duncan when they came across a YouTube clip of Duncan’s class presentation on his career goals.

“We were particularly struck by his unbridled optimism,” said Dr. Quisling. “Duncan closed his passionate talk with these inspiring words:  ’And we can end cancer in our lifetimes if we all work together really, really hard!’  It is exactly those kind of empty platitudes that impress this committee. Far more so than anything so gauche as actual achievement.” (more…)

And to “The Most Interesting Man in the World”, you’re welcome.

For more of my work, please visit my blog.

I was watching the Masters Golf tournament on CBS over the weekend. Before you guys that go apoplectic when any conservative watches the evil CBS I will state for the record that some things are more important than politics and for me the Masters is one of them. Anyway, I have a regular meeting I attend on Sunday nights at my church and we meet every Sunday, the Masters notwithstanding.  Some things are even more important than the Masters, but not many. So when the tournament went into sudden death I had to turn on the recorder and beat feet.

Please keep reading all of you who hate sports in general or golf in particular because this isn’t about sports or golf. In order to make sure I got the entire finish of the Masters I recorded the next two hours of programming on CBS. When I got home and watched the golf I realized I had inadvertently recorded “Sixty Minutes.”

I was just about to hit the delete button since I gave up watching this leftist propaganda program after Dan Rather flaunted his fake Bush Air National Guard documents. Then I thought what the heck I haven’t seen a good biased program lately and my wife and son were away for the evening. I decided to play a game and count the liberal clichés in the program.  (more…)

Perhaps it went something like this…

Og, Bog, and Grog were out hunting mammoth one day somewhere in the mountains of Prehistoric Europe.  Grog’s job was to select the most succulent, Grade A Prime Mammuthus primigenius available in the Mesolithic grocer’s aisle and herd it towards his spear-bearing buddies who were hidden in the brush.  Grog made his choice and, using his trusty, flaming torch, chased the big woolly one brush-ward.  Unfortunately, in the midst of all the excitement, Grog forgot the cardinal rule of torch-bearing hunters everywhere: always stay at least ten stone lengths away from the back end of a mammoth after it’s eaten a fir tree for lunch.

Over Grog’s ashes, Og ponders the lesson of his friend’s untimely incineration and thinks: “I’m gonna recommend the Chief hold a hunter’s refresher course and change it to twenty stone lengths.”  Meanwhile, Bog, though he has access to the same information, processes it differently.  He ends up dismissing the whole episode as a fluke and decides that, even if the conditions were similar, the same result could never happen to him.  As Og is busy absorbing the cause and effect of Grog’s sudden demise, Bog thinks: “Let’s see, I had half a bison for breakfast, eighteen crow eggs, hand full of pine cones, pig fat smoothie with a scoop of roe deer hoof powder…which means, if I jog back to the cave reallyreally fast I can eat that entire pit of flame-broiled grubs.” (more…)

These  pictures were obtained here. If Gerald Ford had hit is head, I somehow suspect comedians would have had a field day with it. When Ford slipped on some wet steps while deplaning Air Force One, that single incident was fodder for political comedians such as Chevy Chase for years. If George W. Bush had hit his head, I suspect that the same thing would have occurred. Remember Bush passing out because he choked on a pretzel in January 2002? There were a huge number of political jokes about it.

It will be an interesting academic exercise to see how many late night jokes there will be regarding Obama hitting his head while leaving Marine One. Obama is essentially the same height as George H.W. Bush (6′ 1″ to 6′ 2″) and Ronald Reagan (6′ 1″). (more…)

Iowahawk hit the paremiology on the head with his collection of proverbs last week, aptly enlightening American audiences about the truths and practical precepts of various Third World tribes, whose proverbial collective experiences are infinitely more liberating and inspiring than those of the so-called Dead White European Males (DWEM) – the useless inventors of an offensive culture with dull, dysfunctional proverbs.

Yet we would like to offer a small correction. The above view utterly disregards the recent progress made in our culture, most recently allowing the Western civilization to catch up with the more advanced tribes of the multicultural community. Obsessive revisionism and self-loathing, sacrificing the individual to the collective, consolidation of power in the hands of a strong central government, and the cult of a godlike leader have rightfully made us an equal member among the wonderfully diverse Third World countries. Miracles abound. One of them is the spontaneous supplanting of the misleading ex-proverbs of the shameful past, with correct neo-proverbs that properly reflect the current truth in accordance with the regularly updated political context. (more…)

This CNN video shows us that in these tough economic times, there is only one place to turn for tips on how to live well–Communism.

Watching this report from Havana, it almost seems fun living under totalitarian rule–Cubans are certainly “free” to work long hours on their cars. Communism also teaches you to make do with less, helping you to be more creative and resourceful, and affording you the opportunity to tool around in a classic Chevy or Caddy. Just look at that grill–living in Cuba is like being in the movie “Grease!”

CNN forgot to mention the other way that Cubans love to tinker with their vehicles.