Rumor has it that Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables marks a return to the glory days of 1980s action mayhem and pro-American machismo. Its appearance on the cultural horizon has certainly stirred up memories of my mid-Eighties, Midwestern suburban adolescence.

It also brings to mind an excellent documentary I saw a few years back called Bigger, Stronger, Faster* (2008 — the asterisk leads to a footnote: “*The Side Effects of Being American”). You can check out the spectacularly funny, rousing, and nostalgic first ten minutes (and then the whole movie, if so inclined) at YouTube:

YouTube -- click here to watch full-screen

Stallone, Schwarzenegger, the Hulkster — all are members of a category of celebrity I described in a previous BH article as “silly video-game tough guys.” The walls of countless Reagan-era boys, myself among them, were papered over with posters and photos of these oversized he-men. Throughout our teen years we read their exercise books and magazine interviews, followed their advice, and strove to live up to their examples.

Examples that, as it turned out, were far too good to be true.

The director/narrator of Bigger, Stronger, Faster*, Chris Bell, kindly but thoroughly strips his beloved childhood icons of their mythic qualities, reducing them to a series of ordinary men who used tricks, illusion, and lots and lots of steroids to become larger than life to millions of youngsters. “It is kind of sad in a way,” Bell said in a Sundance interview at the time his movie was released, “how all of our heroes in America are now falling.” (more…)

When Captain Lou Albano entered the ranks of professional wrestlers in 1953 their “sport” ranked somewhere above pornography and below football betting cards in cultural respectability. When he departed more than three decades later, professional wrestling was a global phenomenon attracting viewers on closed-circuit TV pay per views, MTV, and Saturday morning cartoons.

Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan had something to do with this. So too did the overlooked Captain Lou Albano, who, along with Cyndi Lauper–a live-action cartoon character as unusual as Albano–launched the pop-culture non sequitur ”Rock and Wrestling Connection” that strangely catapulted rather than killed the careers of its participants. (more…)

As a middle-aged pudgy schlub, I am eternally in awe of those who serve in our armed forces. But my awe is always fueled by a little anger – primarily driven by our pop culture-driven media, and what they consider cool in this world.

In our current culture, here’s what we consider “daring:” barbed wire tattoos around the biceps of scrawny witless musicians, well-abbed unemployed drifters found on various reality shows, pierced, preeny “in your face” dip-wads from pranky stunt shows, spoken word cretins fueled by rage and poor hygiene, performance artists who use their own bodily fluids as both canvas and paint, brain-dead hard-partying actresses with assorted infections, extreme adventurers who require public-funded rescues, animal rights activists with more tics than friends, creepy new age healers who drink their own urine – and of course, Adrian Grenier. (more…)

It’s a Trap!!!

Admiral Ackbar is one of my favorite characters in the Star Wars franchise.  He still looks more real than any CGI character today despite being brought to life by 1982 technology.  He also has the immortal line, “It’s a Trap,” when the rebels discover that the Death Star is “fully armed and operational.”

In case you missed it, here’s Ackbar reacting to other “traps.”

Conservatives have walked into a trap of late, or as Michael Steele might say, “have stepped in it.” Why should the liberals, with their rogues gallery of freak shows and incompetents, even sweat it when the Conservatives are too busy fighting with each other?  How much time on blogs, cable news, and Sunday talk-shows is dedicated to Conservatives arguing about the direction of the “party” or challenging each other on the authenticity of their Conservative credentials? (more…)