Quit laughing.

In a recent Washington Post column, Kennicott takes issue with “a litany of shameful events and grievances” committed against homosexuals in the arts, from “the ‘super-macho’ ethos of the American abstract expressionists” to the recent removal of an explicit exhibit from the Smithsonian Museum. Basically, he believes that despite the disproportionate contributions of homosexuals to the arts world, the arts world has failed to honor them appropriately. And he believes that the only way to do this is to make sure that museums are upfront about (1) the sexual proclivities of artists and their subjects, and (2) the subjects’ role, if any, “the iconography of same-sex eroticism.”

For instance, since Saint Sebastian has been appropriated as a homosexual icon, museums are supposed to mention this wherever they display paintings of him. Never mind that he was not himself homosexual.

And if all this openness makes museums seem a little less “family friendly” to some, well, they just need to get with the times. “‘Family’ is now understood to include gay parents, married gay couples and people with gay children, and the absence of basic information about the role of same-sex desire in art history has become an overt sin of omission,” Kennicott explains. Because society is now more accepting of various forms of sexuality, clearly, kids need more sexual information shoved in their faces! (Since, you know, they’re not getting enough of it already from the culture around them.)

Whether or not this is actually good for the arts themselves, Kennicott doesn’t spend much time considering. He should. As Mark Steyn notes in his brilliant book Broadway Babies Say Goodnight, the modern theater’s relentless focus on homosexual issues has made the theater world more insular—and shrunk audiences.

Using the musical Rent as an example of this trend, Steyn writes:

Well, I was moved, but not because of the transvestite sculptor or the lesbian performance artist. In Puccini’s bohemia, the artiness is merely the specific characteristic of universal characters. . . . But there’s nothing mythic or emblematic or enlarging about the characters of Rent: La Boheme is about everyone, Rent is about its participants. I was moved by its inability to move us, by its inability to speak to the world beyond. . . .

A theatre that loses interest in all but a few select minorities is doomed.

And so is a museum.

And the shrill and very vocal faction of the homosexual community cried foul at not only his portrayal, but of the portrayal of homosexuals in “The Silence of the Lambs.” GLAAD led a protest of “Basic Instinct” before the movie had even wrapped principal photography, and the controversy continued when Tri-Star released the picture during so-called Awards Season in 1992.

The nominees:

“J.F.K.” – Great filmmaking and mythmaking.

“The Silence of the Lambs” – The winner, released all the way back in February of 1991, and a genuine crowd pleaser.

“Beauty and the Beast” – I’m not saying it’s a bad movie, but it’s inclusion smacks of tokenism, as in, “There. We nominated an animated movie. Now leaves us alone.”

“Bugsy” – Another good movie, but I remember thinking, “If this gangster movie wins after ‘Goodfellas’ lost, I’ll threaten a boycott like my gay friends did.”

“The Prince of Tides” – The stink here was that Babs wasn’t nominated for best director. It had to have stung that Ridley Scott was nominated instead for directing “Thelma & Louise,” a wrongly politicized road movie about two women on the run from the law. Babs also missed out on scoring one for women when John Singleton was nominated for “Boyz N The Hood.” The irony, I guess, is that all these years later, both “The Prince of Tides” and “Boyz N The Hood” feel like TV movies.

What should have been nominated:

“Terminator 2: Judgment Day” – A bullet, from beginning to end, and one of the great action movies of all time.

“Cape Fear” – Pure over-the-top, preposterous escapism. But I can’t get enough of it.

“What About Bob?” – I’m sailing!

“J.F.K.” – Mostly I love how actors pop up in often bizarre characters who are in only one or two scenes and just knock it out of the park. Like Kevin Bacon, John Candy, and Joe Pesci.

“The Silence of the Lambs” – More pure escapism, expertly crafted, scary, tense, and just plain awesome. It deserved every award it won and more.

There are many, many things to love about Jonathan Demme’s adaptation of the novel by Thomas Harris. Of course the screenplay and performances are great. And in refusing to allow Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) to ever give a big speech about how difficult it is to be a woman in a man’s world, the film gives us no choice but to side with her. Make no mistake about it, the movie is in many ways about how difficult it is to be a woman in the world of law enforcement, but Demme shows us this instead of having his characters hammer it home with dialogue. Demme’s pacing is just right, the movie builds and builds, a creeping sense of dread increasing with every scene as the stakes are constantly raised.

When we meet Clarice in the movie’s opening scenes, it’s obvious she feels she has a lot to prove. We’re not told exactly why she feels this way until fairly late in the movie, but it’s a feeling that pervades every scene in dialogue and in the way Demme, working with Director of Photography Tak Fujimoto, frames his shots. When Clarice first meets Jack Crawford (Scott Glenn), the head of the FBI’s Behavioral Sciences division, they exchange pleasantries over traditional two shots and over the shoulder shots. As Crawford settles in behind his desk, and Clarice across from him, again, Clarice is framed over Jack’s shoulder, which establishes her eye line for the scene. But when Demme cuts to Jack’s close-up, he’s looking dead ahead, his eyes boring into Clarice — and us. When Demme cuts to Clarice’s close-up, the camera is directly in front of her, but she maintains the eye line she established in the previous over-the-shoulder shot. In this scene, Demme establishes a pattern and establishes a first person point of view that puts us inside Clarice’s head and defines the hunt for Buffalo Bill as Clarice’s personal crusade.

The plot of course concerns the serial killer Buffalo Bill (Ted “I’ll Take This Part But Give Me a Month to Completely Transform My Looks Or I’ll Never Act Again” Levine), so named because he skins his victims. Over thirty minutes pass before we ever meet Buffalo Bill, but the hunt is on in the form of an “interesting errand.” Crawford gets the crazy/brilliant idea that maybe the infamous serial killer Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) will help profile Bill, but only if he’s given the right motivation. Clarice twice interviews him, and while he sees right through the ruse, he sees something in Clarice and agrees to play ball — on his terms. He knows Crawford and Clarice will have to play ball, because Buffalo Bill will undoubtedly soon find his next victim.

In minor stroke of genius, the victim, Catherine Martin (Brooke Smith), is introduced driving alone, singing “American Girl” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, drumming on the steering wheel as the camera pulls back from a close up and holds for a moment before pushing back to a close up again. Demme cuts to his first shot of Buffalo Bill, wearing night vision goggles. As he turns them on for a glimpse of Catherine, the goggles hum and whir creepily, and moments later — the stakes increase.

There are no slow moments, and we’re never given a chance to question the absurdity of Buffalo Bill’s bizarre plan or his ridiculous ritual involving exporting moths, both of which could have seriously felt contrived and could have caused the movie to completely collapse. Instead, the whole thing builds to not one but two incredible fake outs, neither of which feel like director’s cheats.

Thinking about “The Silence of the Lambs” reminds me what it used to be like to see a movie in the packed theater, the audience drawn to the movie just because of a good trailer and a great cast. Sure, the book was popular and no doubt its fans showed up, but it wasn’t an eagerly anticipated adaptation with a ton of hype.  There was no Comic Con buzz, no negative buzz; we did not know what to expect. People screamed at scary moments, laughed at the humorous moments — a true collective, shared experience. We were putty in Demme’s hands. Finally, I remember the finale, in which Clarice is trapped, alone with Buffalo Bill, and he turns out the lights. The hum and whir of the night vision goggles swells on sound, and some dude eight rows up and to my right bellowed what we all were thinking: “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, shit!” And everyone laughed, nervously.

There used to be more experiences like that at the movies. It wasn’t an anomaly–it happened all the time. Does it happen at all anymore?

As for the criticisms and purported homophobia…huh? Stung, Demme next directed “Philadelphia,” an exercise in political correctness that garnered Tom Hanks the first of his two Academy Awards.  But “The Silence of the Lambs” will probably forever be his masterpiece.

So over in England (a country), some gay activists want to cancel a gay pride parade because it will cause “community tension,” between gays and Muslims.

The march was a response to anti-gay stickers placed around town, but some worry this event could hurt Muslim feelings.

Here’s part of a letter from a group of concerned types, who claim the march will “oppress other marginalized groups.”

“We want both homophobia and Islamophobia addressed as a collective problem and not feed one against the other, we do not recognise these as distinct categories.”

So, let’s rewind: homophobia and Islamophobia are the same thing.

Okay..I gotta ask: do you think they would also group homophobia and anti-Christian attacks as one and the same? Do they see crude jokes aimed at Mormons as no different than anti-gay jokes?

No way.

So why are they embracing Muslims as marginalized brethren – and not others?

Well, for one, it’s HARDER to protest around people who “really” hate you.

So better to stay out of Islam’s way, and target the gentler dissenters, like white pudgy Christians – the people who remind you of dad, and don’t want you dead.

And so here we have fear, masked as tolerance, forcing gays into contortions even circus performers wouldn’t try.

I mean, how can the gay left defend a religion whose practitioners want gays punished? They’re joining hands with folks who, in other more extreme lands, might cut off theirs.

Anyway, let me remind you that I hate all parades, so I don’t mind if it’s cancelled.

Marching to celebrate something you “are,” as opposed to ” have achieved,” seems odd. And later, I often wake up naked in a bush.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe.

Tonight,

Jill Dobson

Paul Mecurio

Dana Vachon.

 Great show!

Chamberlain, famous for heart-throbby roles as docs and brooding priests, kept his gayhood secret for decades because he feared it would destroy his career. He says, ‘Despite all the wonderful advances that have been made, it’s still dangerous for an actor to talk about that in our extremely misguided culture.’

So yeah, it’s our culture’s fault. Our extremely gay culture, one that not only accepts all things gay, but lavishes upon them stupendous wealth and accolades.

Whatever, Chamberlain’s advice comes at a perfect time for people like me who need to write stuff: just days after the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

How hilarious is it that, as the military now dumps that strategy, a Hollywood icon is imploring actors to embrace it!

Anyway, I wonder why we don’t demand from Hollywood, what Hollywood demands from the military. I have absolutely no data to back this up, but I bet the percentage of gays employed in film exceeds those in foxholes.

Which is why homophobia seems worse in Tinseltown. The fact is, the troops can handle gays; Hollywood can’t.

But Chamberlain gets it wrong when he projects this homophobia solely onto the public. He defames us – when it’s Hollywood who can’t handle gays in straight roles.They fear they can’t pull off the romantic chemistry with their heterosexual counterparts. Could they be right? Or is the public smart enough to realize it’s all acting, anyway. At no time in my adolescence did I really think Harrison Ford was an archaeology professor, or a spacecraft pilot.

I just thought he was dreamy.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe.

Tonight:

Jedidiah Bila

Ryan Reese

Rob Long

See ya!

So what do you do? Well, an ABC show is named exactly that – and the father and son are actually actors fabricating this scene, waiting to see if someone like you will intervene.

It’s a morality experiment: the man berates his son for being gay – and if you don’t do anything – well, you’re just an awful, cowardly homophobe. Later, the performers question bystanders as to why they didn’t interrupt, and of course are judged for lack of involvement.

In a word, this is “riyeht,” which is Vulcan for crap.

I’ll tell you why: these conflicts never happen in public. Look, I pretty much sleep in bars – so I know this. So why build hypothetical situations based on scenes that only happen in corny made-for-TV movies made a decade ago?

Cuz it’s easy: All the network is doing is staging gay bullying stuff because these days, it makes for easy, manufactured outrage. I doubt they’d create a scenario where a tea partier is called a Nazi, or a police officer is labeled a fascist – because that just doesn’t make for a romantic stunt.

But gay is righteous, and gay is easy – so the network creates soapboxes for moronic moralizing, pretending to care – when all they’re really doing is trying to show us how ignorant the average American is.

I’d boycott the network, but I really like Grey’s Anatomy. Derek Shepherd’s love life is so complicated!

And if you disagree with me, you’re worse than Hitler.

The full-fledged ire of GLAAD, straight from the top of the organization, is laughable.  President Jarrett Barrios says, “There has been a rash of bullying, some leading to suicides, much of it because of the widespread belief that it’s somehow OK to say things about gay people that it is not OK to say about other groups. Comments like those in the movie make it seem OK to beat up gay people.”  So, electric cars are gay = it’s okay to commit violence against gay people.  Check.

Make no mistake:  it is an awful tragedy that Tyler Clementi killed himself because of the malicious, despicable humiliation he was subjected to.  To equivocate that with a goofy putdown of electric cars (and GLAAD does not know the context of this line; sounds like something to establish early on in Vaughn’s character arc that he’s insensitive) is not only moronic but as hypocritical as Fred Phelps asking for some peace and quiet at a funeral.  Why, you may say? One word:  teabaggers.

This week, Anderson Cooper shilled for GLAAD (they do those yearly TV browbeating reports, so I guess he’s hoping to get off lightly) and brought out his crocodile tears about how this one word in the movie trailer was offensive.  He and GLAAD must have forgotten how he helped bring an anti-homosexual pejorative into the mainstream of political discourse.  Between the daily crude assaults that Hollywood celebrities spit at everyday Americans petitioning their government and the all-but-violent anti-gay epithets hurled continuously at Matt Drudge and Andrew Breitbart, GLAAD has not uttered a peep.  Why?  They couldn’t give a flaming pile of crap about consistency, because that would mean betraying the principle of Absolute Power that’s defined the Left since… well, always.

This isn’t a fight for justice or equality.  A fight requires two active participants.  A mugging is more like it, or a demented kid kicking stray dogs on the street.  The last thing Ron Howard is going to do is respond to Jarrett Barrios and call him an idiotic coward.  He and Universal, who are bankrolling the film, are going to tuck their tails and do exactly as they’re told.  Barrios knows this, and he’s laughing all the way to the hit counter on his website.

Priorities.

Speaking of which, take a look over yonder to said website, and check out all the important things GLAAD is doing for the gay community.  Do you see any mention of Adam Lambert?  No?  That’s weird, because his free speech is being curtailed to appease Islamic protesters in Malaysia, a country where homosexual sex can land you in prison for 20 years.  You’d think that a statement like “Lambert is morally unfit. His gay lifestyle will harm our society. He is of bad, bad character and poses a danger to young Malaysians” from Nasrudin Hassan, a representatives of Malaysia’s Islamic Party, would merit more attention than “Electric cars are gay,” wouldn’t you?  But you just believe that because you have a spine, and you’re able to tell the difference between an annoyance and danger, between oppression and irreverence, you heteronormative hatemonger, you.

It’s no surprise that GLAAD’s still wearing politically correct blinders to guide their selective outrage.  In fact, it’s become so commonplace, it’s even easy to ignore, but we’re not gonna do that anymore.  The Left relies on it.  It’s time to hold this frivolous organization’s feet to the fire.  So allow me to announce:  Big Hollywood’s very own To-Do List for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation!

1. Speak out against censorship, accusations of moral degeneracy directed toward gay American pop star performing in Malaysia.

2. Pressure Iranian publications to profile gay couples in country to combat false statements from President, just like recent pressure for Essence.com to profile a lesbian married couple.

3. Upbraid Anderson Cooper, Rachel Maddow, David Shuster, Keith Olbermann, Janeane Garofalo, Roger Ebert, D.C. Douglas, Bill Maher, Carrie Fisher, Brad Friedman, Chuck Schumer, Dick Durbin, Maxine Waters, John Kerry, The American Federation of Government Employees, National Public Radio, and President Obama for using “teabagger” as slur.

4. Investigate and publish names of individuals attempting to silence Andrew Breitbart by calling him gay while protesting at Right Nation 2010.

5. Make Marc Maron persona non grata for hateful bullying of recently outed Ken Mehlman.

And we’re just getting started here.  Commenters?

As an American, I believe they have every right to build the mosque – after all, if they buy the land and they follow the law – who can stop them?

Which is, why, in the spirit of outreach, I’ve decided to do the same thing.

I’m announcing tonight, that I am planning to build and open the first gay bar that caters not only to the west, but also Islamic gay men. To best express my sincere desire for dialogue, the bar will be situated next to the mosque Park51, in an available commercial space.

This is not a joke. I’ve already spoken to a number of investors, who have pledged their support in this bipartisan bid for understanding and tolerance.

As you know, the Muslim faith doesn’t look kindly upon homosexuality, which is why I’m building this bar. It is an effort to break down barriers and reduce deadly homophobia in the Islamic world.

The goal, however, is not simply to open a typical gay bar, but one friendly to men of Islamic faith. An entire floor, for example, will feature non-alcoholic drinks, since booze is forbidden by the faith. The bar will be open all day and night, to accommodate men who would rather keep their sexuality under wraps – but still want to dance.

Bottom line: I hope that the mosque owners will be as open to the bar, as I am to the new mosque. After all, the belief driving them to open up their center near Ground Zero, is no different than mine.

My place, however, will have better music.

For investment information, contact me at dailygut.com

And remember, kids, I’m dead serious on this one. (You can tell by the lack of humor in this particular piece).

Cheers!

Tonight, we’ve got

Jim Norton!

Kerry Picket!

Mary Katherine Hamm!

Note: No tasteless holiday parades were actually performed during the making of this video.

That was the best year for movies that I can recall. That summer alone we had “Forrest Gump,” “True Lies,” “Speed,” and everyone was eagerly awaiting the arrival of Cannes winner “Pulp Fiction.” And we also had “The Lion King.” I remember the critic for my campus newspaper, The Red & Black (Go Dawgs!), panned the film, noting that the “Circle of Life” song, sung by a gay man, was really about keeping groups of people, particularly minorities, in their place. I thought this was bizarre and brought it up with some of my classmates.

I was a drama major. Hellooooo! What was I thinking!

Turns out the movie was homophobic and racist. Scar, the villain, was clearly gay, I was told. I missed that. By missing it, i.e. not having an opinion on the sexual preference of a cartoon lion, I was also a homophobe. Huh? As for the charge of racism, the hyenas, famously voiced by Cheech Marin and Whoopi Goldberg, were stereotypes of blacks and Mexicans. But, as I pointed out, James Earl Jones, a black man, voiced the role of Mufasa. The response still floors me: Yes, but he wasn’t portrayed as a black person.

Did you catch that?

Because Mufasa’s not shucking and jiving, he’s not a black person. I can’t pretend to have called my friends on this; frankly, I was stunned. The PC mindset had led my friends to charge the film with racism, and in doing so they revealed themselves to be slaves to stereotypes. Racists? Probably not. But certainly not deserving of their pious attitude toward Uncle Walt and Company.

Which brings me back to “Borat.” I happen to agree with Christopher Hitchens, who notes that the film makes Americans look more tolerant than the left seems to believe. The sequence in a “black” Atlanta neighborhood doesn’t work as humor if the viewer doesn’t have some pre-conceived notions about black street culture. The elitists were falling all over themselves to point out the rodeo audience cheering Borat’s pro-Bush, pro-War on Terror speech–guess they didn’t notice the woman rolling her eyes. I bet there were more reactions like this…on the cutting room floor, of course.

The elitists’ favorite scene, though, was the one that made fun of them intolerant southerners. The one where Borat insulted the host, crapped in a bag, and, in a move that busted up the party, invited over a prostitute. To the elites, the fact that she was OBVIOUSLY a prostitute had NOTHING to do with her presence breaking up the party. You remember, she was black. And this crowd was clearly offended to be in the presence of a black woman.

I don’t think this is the case and the reaction reveals more about the elites than the scene itself reveals about the great unwashed southern masses. In the end, the Liberal elites had to interpret the movie in this way, if only to excuse themselves for embracing a movie with wall-to-wall juvenile poop and penis jokes. With “Brüno,” they’re taking the “Lion King” approach, embracing it less than they did “Borat” and pointing out the stereotypes. I can’t wait to see what it reveals about them.

If anyone wrote a script like this, no one would believe it.

But I already read the book.

That they even went to Iran in the first place was an abomination, especially given their three-hour gay rights infomercial called The Oscars just five days earlier.

And it only kept getting worse.

Or better, depending on your POV.

For this Most Humble DJ Contributor and Critic of Stage and Screen?

Definitely better!

So here’s the skinny to date on ‘MGGTT’ and this Most Humble Critic’s Zero Star Review:

First, President Obama himself must approve Team Hollywood’s visas, as Iran is under sanction from just about every nation on earth. Has been by the US ever since the Embassy and hostage seizures in 1979.

That’s the setup.

Now here are the punchlines!

After all that trouble Team AMPASS (the last S is for “stooge”) no sooner sets down in Tehran than they are welcomed by irate ‘culture ministers‘ demanding apologies for such celluloid affronts to Iranian civilization as “300′” and “The Wrestler” or they won’t be able to meet with their Iranian film counterparts.

See, these eminently cultured, erudite and most intellectual film elites of Iran were incensed by “The Wrestler” because in the film Mickey Rourke takes an Iranian flag from his ring opponent, The Ayatollah, breaks it over his knee and tosses it into the crowd. Deliciously ironic, considering desecration of the American flag is a national sport over there, even for kids.

Actually, especially for kids. Look familiar?

No word on if Mr. Ganis et al apologized. But they DID get to meet with their heel-ground Iranian film buddies shortly thereafter.

Curious. Loose end of the story so far.

Did they apologize or not?

So, not only does Team Hollywood no sooner land in Iran and get totally punked, President Obama has his one extended olive branch slapped out of his hand.

But wait! There’s more!

The apology-demanders were then officially called before Iran’s Parliament, the Majlis, to explain their own cultural slander on inviting the Ziono-Hollywoodist conspirators into their pure Islamist Paradise in the first place!

How great a story twist is THAT?

The demands for apologies just never end in totalitarian dictatorships. It’s par for the course.

No word yet on if the ministers’ contrite apologies were accepted by the Majlis’ Cultural Commission.

In fact, no word on them at all. Considering the culture ministers are Iran’s Hollywood Left, they could be in for it. Hell, they’re the liberals!

Curious. Another loose end.

Although it is rumored Mr. Ganis can’t find his ministerial escort anywhere.

One particularly laugh riot sidebar was an Open Letter To President Obama by Iranian filmmaker, domestic stooge and Team AMPASS’ new Best Friend Forever Alireza Davudnejad informing Mr. Obama that the only way to achieve peace, justice and freedom in the world was for the US to give up its UN veto power and dismantle all of its nuclear weapons.

Mr. Davudnejad also requested a schedule as to when Mr. Obama would implement these historic peace, freedom and justice-creating landmarks.

This, from a regime that foments war, writes injustice into its penal codes, crushes freedom with an iron boot and races to build nuclear weapons of its own.

Now THAT’S Comedy!

Even funnier?

AMPASS’ new BFF, Ali-Da, couldn’t resist one last Ziono-Hollywoodist Conspiracy backhand of his own:

“My last recommendation is not to follow your previous cultural policies and avoid your Hollywood friends from playing any tricks to dominate the cinemas of Iran. The United States once removed Iranian cinema from the Iranian life with the help of the former dictatorship; and sacrificed our industry with the import of foreign films. The fallen cinema of Iran has once again regained its footing with the Islamic Revolution and has been fighting to survive for thirty years.

“We will not forgive the enemies of this cinema wherever they are. By the way, which is harder, to relinquish the veto right, or to forbear the domination of Iran’s cinema again?”

How about neither, Ali-Duh?

Over my dead body!

But I digress.

“You have a hard path ahead. I pray for you. Only the right path has no deviation,” the letter ends.

Ya got all that, Sid?

No more Zionist tricks!

Or they won’t even let you apologize next time!

Q. What is the difference between Mr. Davudnejad and the AMPASS team?

A. He’s a domestic film industry stooge.

To this point, the AMPASS/IRAN road production was playing out in Joker-like blackly comic fashion and had this Humble Critic’s Five Gold Stars On The Forehead Stamp Of Approval.

But they lost me in the Final Act. And it wiped out all that good setup work.

See, yesterday, top Iranian government officials were highly upset with the ICC warrant for innocent genocide master and Dear Leader Gen. Omar Bashir of Sudan. So they took action, holding pep rallies in the streets with their Hamas and other Blackshirt Jew-slaughtering stooges for bloody brother Omar.

Then, led by Ali Larijani, the ‘moderate’ Speaker of the Iranian Parliament who once stated that 100 million Muslims killed in a nuclear exchange with Israel was acceptable (see, he’s a moderate in Iran like Rafsanjani, Ahmadinejad’s the extremist) and the rest of Iran’s modern-day SS flew off to Khartoum to throw parades in support of their BFF O-Bash.

So in essence, Mr. Ganis et al have all remained in Tehran, schmoozing and teaching film seminars to Iran’s Goebbels-like propagandists that made these classics while top leaders of Iran’s government and their Brownshirt proxies not only celebrate genocide in the streets of Tehran, they then fly over to the streets of Khartoum where the genocide was committed to throw parades for the man who did it all and is now an international fugitive!

So now, not only is Mr. Ganis et al complicit by their gold-plated silence on the gay pogrom in Iran (which Iran’s culture experts are now trying to export to Iraq), they are now silent accomplices to Sudan’s genocide for remaining in Iran while all this is all going on around them instead of hightailing it out of Dodge as they should have when this obscene news broke.

Like I said, they had me till the Last Act.

One last curious loose end.

No word on if the AMPASS team generated any roar of support for missing American reporter and former Miss North Dakota Roxana Saberi. After their rough landing, I’m sure they didn’t want to have to apologize for any more impudence.

One charming and heartwarming story twist?

The only one, in fact?

Ms. Saberi will soon be released from her Tehran hellhole. It seems Secretary of State Clinton demanded it. Now THERE’S someone the Iranians can fear!

I know I would. Wisely, they seem to also.

At least her. I’m sure Mr. Ganis et al aren’t throwing too many scares into them.

Damn shame those kind of happy endings can’t happen to ALL the women in Iran.

They sure as hell won’t with hopelessly duped Stooges like Ganis, Bening and the rest of the AMPASS team giving Imadinnerjacket, Larijani, Rafsanjani and all of the other Mad Mullahs of Iran their gold-plated, boot-licking, butt-kissing stamp of approval.

But maybe if more people spoke out alongside Secretary of State Clinton on these heinous crimes against humanity on just about every person in Iran by today’s Islamist Third Reich, things might change.

The silence from Hollywood’s gay and women’s rights “activists,” who seem to be the loudest in condemning we here in America as misogynist and Hitlerite vis-a-vis gay and women’s rights, is deafening.

Where’s Sean Penn?

Where’s Dustin Lance Black?

They’re the tearful advocates.

And I’m the one that has to be “Damn The Torpedoes and Full Speed Ahead”?

Disgraceful!

Don’t wanna rock the boat?

Screw that! I’m sinking it!

Where’s the press, which can’t condemn ordinary Americans enough over glass ceilings for women and Prop 8? The ceiling for women and gays in Iran is Hell!

Where is Darfur Champion George Clooney’s raised-to-the-roof outrage over Iran’s state-sanctioned Dear Leader Bashir rallies while AMPASS is still sharing tea and pleasantries with the human vampires doing it?

Nothing but crickets.

Oh, well.

I guess the Dirty Jobs fall in my lap once again.

But they shouldn’t.

By the way, this stellar AMPASS/IRAN road production isn’t wrapped yet, people. May still get a star or two yet from this Critic and Your Most Obedient and Humble Servant. But it better be a spectacular ending to save this naively idealistic, incredibly flawed and ill-advised production.

Still, the AMPASS/IRAN Roadkill Show has had some surprising developments to date.

One ending is for sure, though.

After all the bad PR I’ve generated (yeah, that PUNK’D byline was mine), I’ll never eat lunch as a screenwriter in THAT town again!

But like Georgie Patton famously stated, ‘Sometimes you have to shame cowards in order to give them back their self-respect.”

And if there’s one thing people don’t like, it’s being shamed.

But the root question here is, shouldn’t they be?

Damn. I sure wish Hollywood made films like PATTON again instead of films that portray US as the Dark Side. Don’t you?

Forget it, Jake. It’s Hollywood.

Oh well.

At least some of them DO pay a price at the box office.

And if there’s one I’ve learned from Hollywood, it’s that Box Office Talks And Bullshite Walks.

One last tragically ironic twist on that subject?

I have a couple of GREAT film ideas like that!

Had, anyway.

Oh well. I can always write novels and nonfiction under a pen name.

Wouldn’t want to eat lunch there now anyway. Not after this cultural Hollywood abomination no apology can paper over. This whole fiasco goes WAY beyond film!

Hell, I’m madder than the Iranians right now!

In fact, I’m so upset, I’m boycotting Hollywood for the duration.

As long as Sid Ganis and his Motley Stooge Road Crew are not ejected off the Academy Board and into the Pacific for this egregious affront to civilized people everywhere (particularly in Iran and Sudan), my wallet is officially Closed For Business. No DVDs, no Blu-Rays, no downloads, no box office receipts at their MacDonald’s-like fast-film franchise cinemaplexes.

Damn shame too. Lot of upcoming movies I wanted to see.

So It Goes in War. Some sacrifices must be made.

But they sure don’t compare to the sacrifices Iranian gays betrayed by Ganis et al make every day at the hands of our modern-day Totenkopfverbande.

In closing, let it be known far and wide that I love film, I love Hollywood, and I even love and respect the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

Just not today.

Because I just happen to love freedom, justice and human rights a little bit more.

Toodles, all!

Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams!

PS: I’m on the War Front now, people.

Give me a vote and strike a blow for Liberty!

All that said, Peace.

I hope.

Best to all, J.