A Modest Economic Proposal: Eat Hollywood
by Jason BradleyThe Irish gentlemen, Jonathan Swift, once penned a scathing pamphlet in reaction to political and economical conditions in Ireland due to English policies. His satirical essay, “A Modest Proposal” reached outlandish proportions when he recommended that society make use of beggar and bastard children by eating them. It was a political and economical “solution.” Mothers would have incentive to care for their children and take a pass on abortions because of economic gain their children’s flesh would bring. Crime would go down because unwanted children would no longer roam the streets. Instead, they would be put to use by feeding the rich. Lastly, society as a whole would benefit from the emerging market.
The absurdity of his proposal was the point: “For Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public as a part of the Martel-Harper Challenge.”
In Swift’s time, the average person in Ireland was poor and destitute, children were unwanted and a lot of pregnancies ended in barbaric abortions. Petty crime and thievery and moral decay was rampant due to the existing circumstances that forced children and adolescents to fend for themselves. The wealthy nobility languished over the sorry state of affairs, but only offered criticism and scorn for the savages instead of reform to help aid their condition.
[I]t is exactly at one year old that I propose to provide for [the mothers] in such a manner as instead of being a charge upon their parents or the parish, or wanting food and raiment for the rest of their lives, [the children] shall on the contrary contribute to the feeding, and partly to the clothing, of many thousands. … I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.







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