[Ed. Note: Carl's 'Grand Theft Audio' airs tonight and every Thursday night on LATalkRadio.com at 7pm PST]

It’s not easy being a conservative in comedy these days. Folks like Evan Sayet, and no doubt Drew Carey or Kelsey Grammer, can tell you that.

Add in the fact that I’m just trying to get to where they are, and not already fully entrenched in success, and a lot of people would wonder if admitting I’m a conservative (actually, libertarian but pro-life to boot) isn’t tantamount to career suicide. The fact I’m also a reporter in the ultra-liberal world of alternative-weekly newspapers, and some would say that I might as well pick out my casket.

I’ll admit that I was a virtually a card-carrying liberal for about a decade until I reached my moment of conversion last summer. Before that, I was hoping for Hillary to win it all, having grown up in Arkansas with Bill ‘n’ Hill keeping things colorful, and then watching Bill keep us out of wars and leaving us with a budget surplus while in the White House.

I bought the Kool-Aid that Bush could do nothing right and was a fervent follower of Michael Moore (I even have a photo with him where we sadly almost look like twins). But when I saw my brethren in the news media suddenly fawning blindly over the Chicago mystery man Barack Obama, giving him the easiest free pass to the White House I’d ever seen despite the fact he had less relevant job experience than it takes to manage a department store, I started to wonder if maybe my profession and its liberal slant had veered dangerously off-course. (more…)

Remember the leftist protest group “Not in Our Name” active during the Bush administration?  They believed that the United States over reacted to 9/11 that resulted in the murder of 3000 Americans, by going to war in Afghanistan.  ”Not in Our Name” also opposed the war in Iraq. In fact they opposed all war. They also protested the arrest of suspected terrorists, the Patriot Act, wire-taps, you know the whole ‘War on Terror’ thing.

The protestors of “Not in Our Name” believed that President Bush was not speaking for them when he took actions that they did not approve. According to their website they wanted to create a ‘culture of resistance.’ “Not in Our Name”, along with other leftist protest groups were very successful in demonizing President Bush and the war effort both in Afghanistan and Iraq. Barack Obama was elected largely as an anti-war President. “Not in Our Name” disbanded in 2008. On their website  they encourage their followers to join similar groups like “Code Pink” and “United for Peace and Justice.” Whether they will re-emerge to protest the widening war in Afghanistan will be an interesting family food fight for the left.  (more…)

I’ll admit up front: I’ve never been a U2 fan. I never really understood the appeal of their self-righteous brand of music, and frontman Bono, with his made-up solo moniker (real name Paul David Hewson) and ever-present see-through wraparound sunglasses, simply irritates me.

Yet I was willing to give him some credit for working with former President Bush on a cause they both believed in – AIDS and poverty in Africa – even though he disagreed with Bush’s stance on Iraq. I honestly don’t think throwing all the money in the world at Africa will change anything there unless the tin pot dictators on that continent are all tossed out on their hineys – and I believe fellow rock star philanthropist Bob Geldof said something similar - but that’s beside the point. I might think even more of Bono if he were to give all of his own massive fortune to the needy in Africa before he lectures the rest of us about our “responsibility,” but I doubt even his philanthropic tendencies go that far. If he did, how could he afford to do things that only rich folks can do, like have his favorite hat flown from the UK to Italy because he forgot it? 

But cool rock stars have their limits. Apparently the B Man reached his when Bush tried to give him a hug at a prayer breakfast a couple of years ago. Adroitly dodging the president by scooting behind the podium, he shook his hand instead. Apparently Bush was good for soaking for taxpayer money for Bono’s cause, but that didn’t merit a hug.

Surprisingly, the media failed to pick up on that little maneuver until this week, when Bono admitted to the dodge in a BBC interview. Why mention it now? Apparently he felt bad about it, but since no one noticed it, why point it out publicly and humiliate someone who is no longer in the public eye? He could have just written Bush a private note saying “sorry, dude.” But I’m a little more cynical – I’m thinking he knew about the buzz of publicity that would accompany his little admission. See, with Bush out of office and criticizing Obama being verboten in the media, even new evidence of old Bush-bashing would immediately be picked up on and go viral. When a world tour is looming, any publicity will work in a pinch. (more…)

You know, liberals should be celebrating. Their man, The Won, is in the White House. They have control of both the House and the Senate, and legislation such as cap and trade and nationalized health care may well become reality – European socialism without having to leave the comfort of home. The Brave New World is on the way. Rejoice in mediocrity for all!

So why are they so grumpy? I suppose it’s because the idea that anyone might stray from the reservation is anathema to them, and this little thing in our Constitution called the First Amendment kind of gets in the way of collective happiness and singing Kumbaya around the campfire.

John “Cougar” Mellencamp is the latest to notice that not everyone is part of the collective, and he’s mighty peeved, making this observation about free speech in general and bloggers in particular: (more…)

Guys like South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford are killing the Republican Party. You can’t turn up your nose at Bill Clinton and Elliott Spitzer and then make excuses for Mark Sanford. One of the reasons I usually vote for Republicans is that I like to think they reflect my conservative political and moral values. I like to think that their personal values will be reflected in the way they govern. When your personal life is in the gutter, it’s hard to take the moral high ground. I have to question the judgment of any politician who engages in risky behavior in his personal life. Bad personal life judgment means bad professional judgments.

There are a lot of other things in this story that make me question Mark Sanford’s judgment. How can any sane man think that he can jet off to South America for a week and have it go unnoticed? My brother runs a pizza joint and if he shows up fifteen minutes late the place is in chaos. How can a guy who runs a state think he can go off the grid for a week? I have long believed that a secret is only a secret if just one person knows it. How did the Governor’s love email get out? Gov. Sanford’s mistress claims her account was hacked. That means someone knew where to look for these love letters. (more…)

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If someone like Beethoven had a vision of the future and realized the impact his music had on humanity, would he be able to compose with the same fortitude and confidence, or rather, would the pressure of the realization of his own importance would eventually render him dysfunctional? 

I don’t confuse this hypothetical inquiry with Beethoven’s realization of his genius. I’m sure he knew of his own greatness. This is different, though, from the pressure that one may experience if his or her genius is also perceived in its historic context and significance. 

In other words, would Beethoven be able to remain Beethoven if, well, he was conscious of the fact that he was Beethoven, (or Beethoven the way he is perceived today)?

These musings of mine could easily be dismissed as exercises in futility or outbursts of excessive if not useless imagination if they were not so coincidental with the policies and style of our current government and prevailing cultural mindset.  (more…)

Now that ‘Roxana: A True Story’ has come to a most satisfying and happy conclusion for Roxana Saberi, her parents, myself and millions of others around the globe (a conclusion not always assured, and which looked very grim in some scenes), it is now time for Your Most Humble and Obedient Critic to give you the full skinny on ‘Roxana: A True Story.’

Or, by its Hollywood acronym, RATS. Funny. I actually found that startling contraction fitting, not for Roxana (not hardly), but for all of the major black hats and clueless morons who populated this nerve-wracking Thugocracy Studios production, which had civilized people everywhere both riveted and outraged in its most grueling and suspenseful moments.

Not to mention for Roxana and her parents. But before we get to heroes and villains, let us look at the story to date with all its dramatic twists and underpinnings, many with significant international implications. Just like a good Hitchcock drama should. And I caught ‘em all!

By pure happenstance, Your Most Humble Critic and Boy Reporter was already hot on the job covering Iran (unlike some people) and hammering AMPAS for their tea and finger-cookie soirees with these guys, when I saw what Iran was pulling with Roxana and called it for what it was: a hostage crisis. And on the same day HRW called it the same in a press release on March 13th, which I didn’t find out until the 19th thanks to our on-the-ball Vein Stream Media. (more…)

I really thought my Republican platform piece here at BH would have been my last for awhile. Plenty for readers of all stripes to chew on. And I got too many other things to do. The reason for my reluctant return is yet another critical issue the Obamamedia and our LibDem government are completely flat-lining on: the officially sanctioned exterminations of LGBTs in Iraq, and on our dime. Not to mention State’s cold and lame response. More on that later. Too much more, actually.

First, the one of the main points of this fact-based opinion piece. And I know I’m going to catch hell from the Streisand and Brolin crowd on this one! Ronald Reagan was a hero to gays, and Obama has not been to date. I know, I know. The Evil Ronald Reagan, who practically invented AIDS? Reagan, the Adolf Eichmann of the Gay World? Not true. Not by a country mile!

In fact, Ronald Reagan was a better friend to gays and lesbians in his age than Barack Obama has been to gays in his. But don’t even go by what I say. I’m a right wing extremist, and very biased to what I believe. I admit it. Who isn’t these days? The press? LOL! But here are some irrefutable facts on The One and The Gipper I thought I’d throw out there. A gay buffet for thought, if you will. With swimming pools. And movie stars. (more…)

I see a great story in Roxana Saberi. Don’t you? A can’t fail, high-concept, four-quadrant script with a unique storyline. In fact, I’d expect a bidding war no less severe and cutthroat for the rights to Roxana’s story as that for Lone Survivor. You know. A MARIE in Iran meets MISSING kinda thing.

A young and beautiful former Miss North Dakota and reporter for the BBC and NPR, among others, falsely arrested by misogynist Iran and tagged with a series of escalating charges, from buying wine to reporting with expired credentials to espionage, charges even Roxana’s lawyer has not officially seen to date, but upon which Ms. Saberi was just sentenced to eight years in the Iranian Hell of Evin prison in a one-day kangaroo court trial. Coercion was also involved, including a threat to kill her.

Any questions as to who and what we’re really dealing with here now? (more…)

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Timothy Geithner, President Obama, Bill Clinton, Democrats, Ward Churchill, Willie Geist, Glenn Beck, Hillary Clinton, HBO, Applebee’s, TV Land, and Helen Thomas.

Secretary of State Clinton and President Obama warned the North Koreans in the strongest possible terms that if they launched their new ICBM there would be hell to pay! Despite this stern warning they launched their missile April 4th. So now what? What will the Obama administration do to show Kim Jong Il, and other third world nations like, oh I don’t know maybe Iran, how serious they are about controlling their development of nuclear weapons and delivery systems?

The President and the Secretary have outlined a six-step plan that is sure to have Dear Leader so scared he may order his starving people to go out and tear down his uranium enrichment plants. (more…)

The way that liberal politicians and Hollywood celebrities carry on over the plight of poor people, you might easily get the idea that they actually know some.  They don’t.  Why would they when they only hang around with each other? 

Those two groups are made up entirely of narcissists.  Who else would want or need to exist entirely in the spotlight?  They’re like moths.  The irony is that, physically, the two groups couldn’t be more different and, yet, on a per capita basis, they probably spend the same amount on Botox, collagen and plastic surgery.   When it comes to nips, tucks and hair transplants, alone, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden, have spent enough money to keep several poor families in vittles for years to come.  (more…)

The perpetually bumbling Obama administration wrote the wrong word on a gift for Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov. It was a plastic red button on a black base with the Russian word “peregruzka” printed above it, as Politico.com reported: (more…)

I don’t judge movies by their source material, so I won’t judge “Watchmen” by the amazing graphic novel from which it comes. When we pay our 12 bucks to see a movie, nobody hands us a book to go along with it, so the moral contract between consumer and story-teller is that the story has to hold up on its own.

“Watchmen” works as a dark, post-modern, revisionist middle finger to the icons of our optimistic past. The plot isn’t its strong suit, the characters are what make “Watchmen” an impressive experience. Dr. Manhattan is a being who lost his unique electric field in a lab accident. He didn’t keep his hair, but he kept his blue penis, which is useful in revealing that he’s not Jewish. A Materialist god, Dr. Manhattan is losing his grasp on what it means to be human, even as he gains the ability to see life one molecule at a time. (more…)

I have had the privilege of being in Tampa all week to cover Super Bowl 43, and one of the lesser reported stories of the week is the relationship between Steelers chairman and owner Dan Rooney and President Barack Obama. I wrote a quick post on the subject Friday here on Big Hollywood.

Then-Senator Obama with former Steelers star Jerome Bettis, Pennsylvania Senator Bob Casey Jr. and Hall of Fame Steelers running back Franco Harris

Earlier this week, President Obama told reporters that he is a Steelers fan. The truth is that the legendary Rooney, a lifelong Republican, was enraptured by Obama on the night of the Iowa Caucuses after the junior Senator from Chicago defeated heavily favored Hillary Clinton. An endorsement from the powerful Pennsylvanian was quick to follow. It’s no wonder that Obama gave his full-throated support to the legendary franchise in today’s big game.

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As grad student experts have long taught us, Western culture is quick to marginalize and devalue knowledge from the “Other.” For example, look at the recent ridicule aimed at the “Egg of Power” sculpture President Obama keeps in the Oval Office. There is a disturbing hint of racism to the ridicule, because that sculpture happens to refer to a traditional proverb that comes from, depending on how you Google it, either Kenya or a 1993 Hallmark Kwanzaa card. Would these critics be so cavalier in their snickering if the president had brought some traditional white art, like a Successories poster or replica Harry Potter wand?

This kind of closed-mindedness is wrong. Just because a culture has occasional problems with dysentery doesn’t mean it can’t produce sage nuggets of universal wisdom, suitable for framing. It is also wrong because it ignores the incredible merchandising opportunities. Just look at Hillary Clinton and Al Gore – what better way to show off your expansive intelligence and down-with-the-Other multicultural chops than quoting the occasional Third World tribal advice? (more…)

It wasn’t that long ago that my friend Bernard Goldberg told me he was never going to write another book. It was just a lot of hard work, he complained, and while he was working on one, virtually all joy was sucked out of his life. It made perfect sense to me. Besides, books take a lot of time to write and Bernie, who wishes he’d grown another foot-and-a-half so he could have competed in the NBA, still needs to work on his hook shot.

Well, he lied. But at least it was in a good cause. I just read his latest slice-and-dice of the liberal media, “A Slobbering Love Affair: The True (and Pathetic) Story of the Torrid Romance Between Barack Obama and the Mainstream Media,” and I was reminded what a travesty the MSM made of the 1st amendment in its desire to ensure Obama’s victory. (more…)