Posts Tagged ‘Helen Thomas’

Ernie Mannix

My 4th of July Hero: Helen Thomas

by Ernie Mannix

I have been more or less one of the resident class-clowns here at BH. Having been been so appalled at the bizarre news coming out of Washington on a daily basis, I’ve been unable to write anything, that isn’t from a satirical viewpoint. I must set off the political ‘Whoopee Cushion’ on these pages regularly, in order to keep my sanity and (pardon the expression), blow off some frustration amidst this dealership closin’, bank grabbin’, climate Goreing, march to socialism. The absolute lies, baloney and insanity streaming down from Washington, (all being completely ignored by the most of the press) have forced me to assume my old high school role of Goofball-Deluxe. Comedy hides pain? Okay maybe, but I don’t have to be B.F. Skinner to admit to you dear reader, that my satire was just an extension of the frustration caused by the real farce that has been taking place amidst one of our dearest freedoms; that of The Press.


However, my dear wittle wabbits; please to knock me over with a feather (imitation of course, not from a eagle or a dolphin).  The savior of my week was none other than the far-left lady from the great state of Bush-Bashachussetts: Ms. Helen Thomas.

She (for the time being) has undone my jaded eye-rolling hopelessness–she has (for at least this article) turned me into a reporter of sorts. Brava lady. Brava. Okay, it took the longest running member of the White House Press Corps to get any of the mainstream media to actually pay attention and not sweep it away with their “Right Wing Conspirator-Fox News” broom – but hey, whatever dudes! This week the news was the news. (more…)

Jeffrey Jena

‘60 Minutes’: Let Me Count the Liberal Clichés

by Jeffrey Jena

I was watching the Masters Golf tournament on CBS over the weekend. Before you guys that go apoplectic when any conservative watches the evil CBS I will state for the record that some things are more important than politics and for me the Masters is one of them. Anyway, I have a regular meeting I attend on Sunday nights at my church and we meet every Sunday, the Masters notwithstanding.  Some things are even more important than the Masters, but not many. So when the tournament went into sudden death I had to turn on the recorder and beat feet.

Please keep reading all of you who hate sports in general or golf in particular because this isn’t about sports or golf. In order to make sure I got the entire finish of the Masters I recorded the next two hours of programming on CBS. When I got home and watched the golf I realized I had inadvertently recorded “Sixty Minutes.”

I was just about to hit the delete button since I gave up watching this leftist propaganda program after Dan Rather flaunted his fake Bush Air National Guard documents. Then I thought what the heck I haven’t seen a good biased program lately and my wife and son were away for the evening. I decided to play a game and count the liberal clichés in the program.  (more…)

Eric Peterkofsky

“NewsBusted” 4/10/09 — Fake News from the Right

by Eric Peterkofsky

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Timothy Geithner, President Obama, Bill Clinton, Democrats, Ward Churchill, Willie Geist, Glenn Beck, Hillary Clinton, HBO, Applebee’s, TV Land, and Helen Thomas.


Jeffrey Jena

Is There No Place For Aging Propagandists To Go?

by Jeffrey Jena

I watched the Presidential news conference last night and perhaps the most striking thing I learned was that there is apparently some sort of assisted-care shortage in America. I figured that out when I saw Helen Thomas there in the front row. I used to think she was always in the front row as some sort of odd show of respect. It occurred to me last night that she might never leave her seat. I have come to believe that Helen has been in that seat since sometime in the Carter administration.

I noticed Helen doze off a time or two during the Presidential presser. She seemed to have this attitude that this whole thing was interrupting her evening. I am willing to kick in a few extra bucks myself to find her a place in a managed care facility. Isn’t there some sort of liberal social safety net for their aging propagandists? (more…)

Jeffrey Jena

Where Are Their Friends?

by Jeffrey Jena

I have just lost one of my best friends to cancer. He was a great guy and a great friend. One of the things that made him a great friend was I could count on him to tell me the truth even when I didn’t want to hear it. He would tell you straight up that the girl you were dating wasn’t all that great for you or that your golf swing had more flaw than swing. He was sort of like a hillbilly Socrates in that he usually sent you the cold hard facts by asking you a question. There is an old saying that the truth without compassion is brutality and Bill usually had compassion but when I was being stubborn he could be a brute. When I was being a little big for my britches or getting ready to have a, “Hey watch this!” moment he let you know it. I was watching the television last weekend I had three occasions to ask myself, “Where are their friends?”

The first was while I was watching a guy I really like, Governor Mike Huckabee on Fox News. After watching Gov. Huckabee do a lot of guest spots on its other shows, Fox decided to give the Governor his own talk show. Being a great guest and an outstanding leader doesn’t mean you are automatically a great host. I watched the show the first time it was on and cringed but figured he was a good speaker and was used to talking to folks after being a pastor so he would grow into the role. After this weekend with the three Miss Americas and Rosie Perez someone should speak to the Governor. Does he know anyone who will tell him he makes a good talking head but if he ever wants to be taken seriously again for any major political office he should stop doing his talk show? Two of the Miss Americas singing “Leaving on a Jet Plane” was ironic in that that it is exactly what Fox should do with this show, send it somewhere on vacation. Does Fox not have a budget for writers? If the monologue jokes were any lamer they would have to come out in a wheelchair. Please, Governor Huckabee, for the sake of all conservatives everywhere stop being a third rate Jimmy Kimmel and start putting your organization together for 2012. (more…)